As a survivor of suicide loss, I have faced more challenges than I thought I would, but I have been able to see how resilient I have been through it all. The first lesson I learned is that it is okay to carry on and move forward with life, even if you have no clue what you are doing and what life will look like.
I had a counselor who probably said it to me in a way that made the most sense. I could have gone one of two ways, the path I chose to set me up for success, or I could have gone down a path that led to failure and ruining my life. I chose the path that led to success, and it paid off. I was the first member of my high school class to not only get into college but also to know where I would spend the next 4 years of my life, and that was eight years ago as we had this discussion in my senior year of high school. This counselor helped me in more ways than one. He cheered me on and let me be who I needed to be at that time without judgment.
An early challenge I faced, and still face 11 years on, is that I matured so much faster than all my friends, and I still am. I didn’t know how this would affect me in the short term or long term, but I can tell you that it made it so that I do not laugh easily, and smiling is no longer natural to me. However, when working with high school students, I try to use verbal praise so they know I am proud of them, even if I do not show it in my face.
A big piece that showed me how resilient I am is that I was able to figure out what I wanted to do with the next part of my life. I always knew I was going to go to college and get my bachelor’s degree, but the question of what’s next and how I could improve myself was always in the back of my head and as teachers, we are always trying to improve. So, when I saw that I had the opportunity to use my grief, suffering, and PTSD for good, I wanted to take advantage of it. My next phase of studying is for a Master of Education in Curriculum and Instruction with a focus on Trauma Informed Practices. This is so important to me, as I can use everything that I know and have gone through to be a better teacher and also help students who are going through their trauma and are trying to find a “new” ordinary and be successful in the classroom no matter what their future looks like and what they have gone through in their past.
The biggest challenge that anyone faces when they are the one who finds a family member who has taken their life is how to move on. The hardest part must be finding a way to move on and find that new normal. Each day, you put one foot in front of the other and keep going, but finding a way to move forward is the most challenging part of this journey. It has taken me 11 years to begin not to blame myself for the loss of my father when I have been told time and time again that none of this was my fault, and I am still accepting that.
JOSHUA’S LIGHT
The world lost a bright light this year. Joshua, my son, a former Marine grappling with PTSD, depression, and anxiety, died by suicide. He was a student at East State Tennessee University, a fighter for his own mental health, and tragically, a victim of an inadequate system. Joshua sought help, spending 36 agonizing minutes on the veteran crisis line before being deemed "okay." No follow-up, no warm handoff, no intervention – just him alone with his demons. Witnessing this failure ignited a burning desire in me, a former Marine myself, to ensure no veteran ever walks that path alone.
My commitment to social justice, equity, and inclusivity has always fueled my interest in mental health. Seeing the stigma within my family, community, and the military amplifies my mission to break down barriers and make resources accessible. The devastating statistic of 22 veteran suicides a day demands action. I believe deeply in the transformative power of therapy, grief support, and holistic practices like yoga and mindfulness – tools to combat trauma and stress.
Joshua's story ignited a fire within me. My passion lies in the powerful intersection of mental health, cultural competency, and dismantling the existing colonial lens in mental health care. My goal is twofold: become a licensed mental health counselor specializing in trauma-informed crisis intervention specifically for veterans, and establish Solace Mind®, a non-profit extension of my existing practice.
Solace Mind® will bridge the gap between the VA, veterans' coordinators on college campuses, and those in crisis. My current experience as the Washington State CIT Program Manager, training first responders in crisis response, perfectly aligns with this vision. As a Crisis Intervention Specialist with extensive de-escalation and active listening skills, I'm dedicated to equipping responders with the latest suicide prevention tools. Our state-mandated training module, co-created with Dr. Jennifer Stuber and featuring my personal story, fosters empathy and understanding among responders.
My dedication to continuous learning and adaptability extends beyond crisis response. Volunteering on crisis hotlines and teaching yoga and sound healing to diverse populations highlights this commitment. An impactful example is when teaching a disengaged group of youth, I pivoted my approach to incorporate their cultural background, transforming the experience. This emphasizes the importance of cultural competency in mental health care for all.
As a woman of color, a Latina, and social justice activist, I see equity and inclusivity as cornerstones of effective therapy. My mission is to dismantle the stigma that prevents veterans and marginalized communities from seeking help.
With a profound understanding of veteran challenges and the lived experience of loss, I am confident in my ability to make a difference through Walden University's Mental Health Counseling program. Through clinical practice and Solace Mind®, I will honor Joshua's legacy, keep his light burning, and ensure no veteran battles their demons alone.
This is my journey; this is my mission, fueled by love and a desperate need for change.
