“Why was suicide a conclusion that was so easy for her to come to?”. After losing my mom at the age of 16, that was the question that became burned into my brain. Day-to-day living seemed to only get harder and harder, and as I experienced my “year of firsts” without her, life began to reveal itself in ways that I never thought I would see so early. I started to realize just how fragile mental health can be, and that my childhood fantasy of my parents being invincible was painfully untrue. During this time, it became quickly apparent that my dad experienced pain and grief just as much as I did, if not more. I came to the harsh realization that it was his first time living too. As the one-year mark since her death passed just a few months ago, I experienced a deep sense of gratitude, knowing that my family and I are so incredibly lucky to be loving and strong enough to work with each other on the path to healing. While first starting with family conversations, I eventually began sharing my thoughts online with tributes to my mom, as well as advice to friends and coaches who had just been burdened with loss. Health, fitness, and wellness were all things I had been interested in before, but the relationships I built over conversations in the mental health field only expanded and deepened that interest more. When I dove into my first job being a lifeguard and swim instructor, I began to fall in love with working with people, learning everything I could about safety, and adapting my conversational skills to help each person feel more of a real connection. Since the start of my freshman year, I have taken several CTE health classes including Sports Medicine, Health and Wellness 1+2, Nutrition, and Athletic Training 1, 2, and 3. These interest expansions led to me being selected to view live surgery at St. Providence Medical Hospital, where I ultimately found out that the medical line of work is what I wanted to pursue. Shortly after, I co-managed our school blood drive. The way each doctor and professional looked at their patients showed me that this environment is a place where people are truly committed to bettering each other; mentally and physically. I needed to become a part of that. As I venture out of high school, I plan to major in Kinesiology at the University Of Utah where I'm hoping to take the pre-medical route. I believe with this plan as a base, I can one day open my own practice in the medical field where I can build that same doctor-patient relationship I was once inspired by. More importantly, I believe I can make my mother proud. Being around her during that time of hardship, I could just tell how painful it was for her to speak about her mental health. I sadly can’t go back and change that. But I will do everything in my power to help create a comfortable environment in the future where conversing about mental health is not something we avoid.