Doan Foundation Arts Scholarship

There’s always that dreaded situation in every art student’s mind: their parents will never accept their passion to pursue a career in the arts. It’s a job that sets you up for failure, there’s no money involved, finding employment is hard, art will burn down your house, pull a John Wick on your dog… every single horror a parent can imagine. However, it was the opposite for me. It was I who feared my own hobby. “Mom, dad, I want to be an English professor at some university… it’ll be good pay.” “Mom, dad, I want to be a dentist since it’s good money.” Year after year, I had been scrounging up the best-paying jobs to dream of and hope to accomplish for the sake of putting my parents in a better position for retirement–however, my true love, art, had been sitting in the back and collecting dust. That was until I stepped into my first figure drawing class that I applied to on a whim. When I stepped through those doors, my tide suddenly pooled into an ocean. There was something fantastical about it. The people there all loved art and had worked on their craft for ten, twenty, thirty, even forty years. They wielded jobs at Disney or Netflix, and passionately discussed the nuances of art and creation. This experience was a catalyst in my spiral down the art rabbit hole, and suddenly I wanted to create. There were worlds that I had stuffed down the drain, characters that had been locked away in closets, creatures shoved behind textbooks of math and science to never see the light of day again–but I wanted to bring them all out, my own Renaissance was at my fingertips. That was when I realized that I did not want to be a professor, a dentist, or a nurse. “Mom, dad… I want to be an artist.” I was prepared for their response. Art sets you up for failure, there’s no money involved, finding jobs is hard, and there’s no stable future in art. “I wish you had told me sooner. I would have enrolled you in many art classes,” my mother said. My parents were completely supportive of me in pursuing my dreams. This shook me to my core and brought tears to my eyes. My mother brought up some advice she had been repeating to me since I was a little kid. “Whatever you want to do, you will be the best at it. Even if you’re a janitor, or a waitress, or a McDonald’s worker, be the best.” From then on, art has had such a profound impact on my life. I worked hard, and eventually gained an art internship to pitch my ideas and experience the art industry firsthand, I applied to three art classes to help me along my path, and I wanted to expand this horizon further for others and myself, so I created a Discord server that houses 360+ young artists who connect, create, and share with each other on the daily. I’m very lucky to have such loving and supportive parents who will walk with me through my path, but we have many roadblocks, such as money. The only way they will allow me to go to some of my most wanted art schools is if I scrounge up enough money for a full ride–but if it means that I will get to do what I truly love as a job and give back to my parents in the future, then so be it. For art and for my parents, it is all worth it.

Whenever creative activities would come up at schools, teachers would arduously await the wacky creative endeavors I brought to school: From a hat made of rag dolls to a full cosplay of the Aztec God Mictlantecuhtli. Teachers would pat me on the head, knowing well enough that the mastermind behind everything was never this 10-year-old standing before them. Of course. And just like a hero in disguise, my father is a carpenter on the surface but an artist at heart, building replicas of cartoon structures, sewing plushies for me and my sibling, and making pyrography signs for his friends. My grandmother is an artist too, but contrary to my dyslexic father, she reads and writes poetry every morning and night. Then comes the third generation of the family. If she happens to be an artist, she is set up for greatness, backed up by her creative family support, right? One would think that. But, surprisingly, the answer is not quite so direct. Sure, they feel great that I have followed through with being creative as a hobby, but as a career? And digital? And Queer? I somehow came to disappoint them in every way possible. They do not consider digital art to be real art. Throughout my entire life, this disappointment has plagued my family relationships. 'Why not become a tattoo artist? Or a mural painter? If you like digital things, you should do computer science.' And as if my medium was not enough to make their hearts heavy, the subject of my art drove them further into this sad belief of failure. They consider activism to be ugly and Queerness to be taboo. They are not interested in learning about my community history and think of it as a waste of talent. In their eyes, that has been what hammered down my setup failure. It is not about my creativity but about my identity as their daughter. But all of their beliefs are what I am trying to turn upside down. They fuel my career as an artist and activist. I want to prove there is a place for artists like me; To have my identity as Queer and Latin American be worthy of representation in art. If it had not been for other LGBTQ+, Latinx artists that inspired me when I was young, I would have followed the path of my past generations: I would have stopped creating, and I would have stopped fighting. But I have not. Because now that I have grown as a person and a creator, I understand my responsibility to inspire other teens who are going through the same doubt about their identities or their success in pursuing art. Still, the odds are against me for being a low-income immigrant. So much doubt has made me stronger. I have placed myself in all types of creative leadership positions to prepare me for what will come in my career. I enjoy working with teaching artists that have walked the path I want to walk. Art has inspired me to reach for the stars, and people who doubt me push me higher toward my goal. But even through all this, I wonder what would have happened. What if my father and grandmother had not been discouraged from pursuing their passion for art? I hope they can use me as a vessel of their unaccomplished dreams and one day laugh off the doubt they ever had in me.

My parents emigrated to this country from Mexico having limited education and opportunities. My mom was a housekeeper and could not afford childcare so during summers and after school, my siblings and I went with her. As my family moved from one house to another the only thing that cured my boredom was the cartoons I would watch. We didn't have sufficient money for cable, therefore I longed to go to my mom’s work as I found comfort in the cartoons I’d watch while I was there. It was during those moments, I realized that I wanted to pursue creativity in a career and became passionate about the creative arts. My parents thought of art as just a hobby, however, I later learned that art could be more than that. I have always had an inkling that I wanted to become an artist, but it wasn't until my sophomore year in high school that it was confirmed. Although the idea of attending and pursuing art was something my parents opposed, it was something I dreamed of. From watching accepted art portfolios and tutorials on how to draw or color pieces, I was able to develop and evolve as an artist. At the end of my sophomore year, I created an art account to push myself to draw more. I am passionate more specifically about animation in studio arts, and interested in stop motion and 2D animation due to my connection and admiration for this powerful medium. The artist's ability to manipulate something as simple as a character's eyes creates a great connection and emotion with the viewer. This form of art allowed me to grow, was a huge part of my childhood and sparked that want and need to pursue art. In an attempt to replicate the art I saw as I child, although I would get frustrated, creating art was something I could never get rid of and always picked up. The way I have used this medium and the creative arts, in general, to portray my opinions and showcase what I admire, allows me to grow mentally and stylistically. This form has become very essential in my life as it has allowed me to grow out of this shell I was in when I was younger and allowed me to truly admire and showcase what I like without the fear of being judged. I want to be able to continue to not only voice what I like but though this be able to help and be a voice for others, it is something I aspire to be able to continue to do for the rest of my life. I aspire to learn and be able to create something that allows me to express myself, communicate with others, and comfort people as cartoons did to me as a kid.