Bold Perseverance Scholarship

I have a genetic lung disease called Cystic Fibrosis. There is no cure for this disease and it is essential I take care of myself. As everyone has experiences moving through COVID, I am no exception. As a teenager in the middle of high school, everything was ripped away with no warning. On top of the isolation aspect, I also had to concern myself with the health aspect. Specifically, my lungs that I have been taught to protect. I could tell stories about being sick in the hospital, missing out on fun things, coming to terms with my illness in the years I've been on this earth. But none of that was as difficult as the beginning of the pandemic when I was left with the reflection in the mirror. My story of perseverance is most likely like most kids my age: COVID came in, took everything away, and created depressed, isolated teenagers! It isn't unique. Actually, knowing it isn't unique is comforting. Because I had to be extra cautious because of having CF, I felt fear in a way I'd never felt before. If I got Covid, I could die. When that is combined with isolation and disappointment, it leaves you in a dark place. Persevering through darkness is a feat unlike any other. The depression wants to stay and linger, so we get help. The anxiety ants to take hold, so we relieve our burdens to God. The isolation wants us to remain alone, so we force ourselves to ask a friend to hang out. Slowly, I've come out of the darkness. And as I squint my eyes as I enter into the light, cautiously and unsure if the light will remain, I keep taking steps into that light whether I feel like it or not.

2017 was a year of survival filled with sickness and grief, pushing me to persevere against life’s obstacles. During my senior year in high school, my father fell severely ill with colon cancer. Not only was I dealing with the pressures of college applications and my academic workload, but I was also caring for my father. The heaviness of family illness continued into the following semester when my grandfather was hospitalized. Unfortunately, my grandfather passed away. One of the most challenging things for me during this time was watching my best friend, my father, deteriorate. The concern for my father followed me to school, causing me to struggle with being present. My grades were dropping, my focus was fading, and my motivation was disappearing. Seeing loved ones suffer put me in a position where I felt helpless and alone. Despite the heaviness of family illness, I strived to put my best foot forward in my classes. I reached out to my teachers, who provided me with a safe space and accountability. Even though I felt emotionally drained, I did not want to give up on my studies and dreams. I started to learn to differentiate between the things I can control and the things I cannot. More importantly, I realized perspective is key. In the end, I was able to receive my hard-earned and deserved diploma with academic honors. However, just when I thought the hardships were over, my father and grandmother passed away a month before starting college. Not only did I have to adjust to a new environment, but I had to again work through my grief. Despite my grief, I was determined to continue my education. I prioritized my healing, which allowed me to be a better student, daughter, friend, and advocate.

I still remember vividly the day I found out my mother cheated on my father. I remember the devastation written all over his face, as he told her they would figure it out. I remember the guilt dominating her own expression, and how she gave up hope. They divorced and left me finishing high school, at 17 years old, to fend for myself. I lost my family, my strength, and my security all in one moment. I started college shortly after with 17 credit hours of classes, a car that barely ran, and working 40 hours a week at minimum wage. I still remember the anger, the sorrow, the depression, and the hopelessness. I will always recall throwing up, as my body succumbed more each day to the exhaustion, and swallowing it to keep taking an order in the drive-through at work. I can still see my managers sliding me boxes of chicken nuggets or misordered food at the end of my shift because they knew without it I wouldn't eat the next day. I always promised myself I would stay true to who I was, no matter how hard life became. The days all merged together as I returned home from work at 4 am, and then awoke at 7 am to go to my morning classes. Eventually, I started sleeping through classes, as the sleep deprivation became more severe. I had to drop out of college so I could work, sleep, and afford to eat. I felt so hopeless, but I held on. One day, a drive-through customer appreciated my nature so much that she offered me a job at her bank. Since that day, I have never stopped growing. I've made mistakes, and they've taught me. They broke me, but I persevered. I always get back up.