A Voice for Mental Health and Addiction Awareness Scholarship

My name is Alissa Smith, and I am currently a student at Williston state college who has struggles with mental health for quite a while. I feel like it’s always hard to imagine what depression and anxiety look like when you don’t experience it first-hand. Up until a few years ago I was someone that couldn’t picture what someone that suffers from depression really goes through. After experiencing it first-hand the struggles that mental illness can have on a person, it has completely changed my world. Throughout my whole life I had always been considered a rather upbeat and happy person until around a few years ago. I remember almost a switch flipped inside me and I became a different version of myself. I was no longer the Alissa I knew. At 17 watched as an invisible weight was tethered to me and a constant cloud fell over. I first noticed something was wrong when I no longer enjoyed cheerleading, something I had been doing all throughout high school. I had lost all motivation and drive for something I once loved. Feeling this way only made me feel worse, I tried to pinpoint the cause with luck. With no motivation left, I found it difficult to wake up in the morning. Starting as missing class once a week turned into an everyday occurrence. It was so hard to get out of bed I would lay there for hours wondering what was wrong with me. I could no longer dress up or do my makeup, my whole world had turned blue. My grades plummeted and I was spending days in my room. Not only was it a hard time for me but for my family as well. I was constantly in fights with my parents because they didn’t understand what was going on and if you’ve ever experienced depression, you know how hard it is to talk about it. After months of skipping school, meals, practice, my mom decided I needed to go to the doctor. I ended up getting prescribed antidepressants and it only made me feel worse. I couldn’t admit that I had a problem and now I had just been prescribed medication for a problem I felt I didn’t have. All of this took me by surprise and starting the medication was hard. The side effects had me tired all the time and it made me feel like I was crazy. Finally, after months of taking it, I started to feel better. Although I started feeling better it didn’t completely take away my depression, I just felt like I could control my sadness. After getting the help I needed I was able to lift myself out of that horrible time in my life. While still suffering from depression, I’m able to handle it better without living in fear of my next episode. The past years have been hard for me but ultimately changed my life for the better. Not everyone is as lucky as me when it comes to tackling their mental health and lose their battle. My own experiences with mental illness have led me to believe that my path is in counseling, to help others that have gone though what I have. If there’s one thing, I want to do with my life is help others to never feel the way I did. I plan to continue my education to get my counseling degree even if I make just the smallest of impacts. Thank you for considering me for this opportunity and appreciate the chance to tell just a little of my story.

In 2018 my brother, Garrett Paine passed away. Losing him him was difficult and continues to challenge me today. Freshman year was the hardest, I didn’t sleep much, and had no motivation to do anything. I was in a slump. Due to this, I ended up failing four of my classes. I tried, but it was hard to do anything that year. But, it was also hard outside of school. I would go home, and see my parents. That year was so hard on everyone of course, but they weren’t who I knew they where. My dad pushed himself into his work, and my mom never left her room. School was hard to do anything, but it was even harder to see my parents like that. About middle of sophomore year is when I said I could do better, and I did. I worked harder in school, and did things that I enjoyed again. I look back at the things I have done to help start bettering myself, and I am happy to where I am now. I had to work extremely hard to get caught back up in my credits, but I did it. Their where days I cried and days where I was laughing. It was always back and forth. However, due to failing classes that year, I am no longer able to get a lot of scholarships through my school. I have been working a lot on myself this past year, and working hard in school. I have the best grades as of now, then I have had through all of high-school, and I couldn’t be prouder. I keep remembering the good memories I have with my brother, and that has helped me in so many ways. He’s taught me to always help others when they need it. As well as to be the reason someone smiles today. I wish to make an impact, and live like he did. That every day, could be your last. My battle has been with mental illnesses. I suffer from depression and anxiety but I push myself through it. I am a better person today, because of what happened. I want to thank the committee for taking their time, and reading some of my story. I say some, as my battle isn’t over yet. My story will not be ending anytime soon, and I will make myself proud of who I become.

In 2018 my brother, Garrett Paine passed away. Losing him him was difficult and continues to challenge me today. Freshman year was the hardest, I didn’t sleep much, and had no motivation to do anything. I was in a slump. Due to this, I ended up failing four of my classes. I tried, but it was hard to do anything that year. But, it was also hard outside of school. I would go home, and see my parents. That year was so hard on everyone of course, but they weren’t who I knew they where. My dad pushed himself into his work, and my mom never left her room. School was hard to do anything, but it was even harder to see my parents like that. About middle of sophomore year is when I said I could do better, and I did. I worked harder in school, and did things that I enjoyed again. I look back at the things I have done to help start bettering myself, and I am happy to where I am now. I had to work extremely hard to get caught back up in my credits, but I did it. Their where days I cried and days where I was laughing. It was always back and forth. However, due to failing classes that year, I am no longer able to get a lot of scholarships through my school. I have been working a lot on myself this past year, and working hard in school. I have the best grades as of now, then I have had through all of high-school, and I couldn’t be prouder. I keep remembering the good memories I have with my brother, and that has helped me in so many ways. He’s taught me to always help others when they need it. As well as to be the reason someone smiles today. I wish to make an impact, and live like he did. That every day, could be your last. My battle has been with mental illnesses. I suffer from depression and anxiety but I push myself through it. I am a better person today, because of what happened. I want to thank the committee for taking their time, and reading some of my story. I say some, as my battle isn’t over yet. My story will not be ending anytime soon, and I will make myself proud of who I become.

My name is Alissa Smith, and I am currently a student at Williston state college who has struggled with mental health for quite a while. I feel like it’s always hard to imagine what depression and anxiety look like when you don’t experience them first-hand. Up until a few years ago, I was someone that couldn’t picture what someone that suffers from depression really goes through. After experiencing first-hand the struggles that mental illness can have on a person, it has completely changed my world. Throughout my whole life, I had always been considered a rather upbeat and happy person until around a few years ago. I remember almost a switch flipped inside me and I became a different version of myself. I was no longer the Alissa I knew. At 17 watched as an invisible weight was tethered to me and a constant cloud fell over. I first noticed something was wrong when I no longer enjoyed cheerleading, something I had been doing throughout high school. I had lost all motivation and drive for something I once loved. Feeling this way only made me feel worse, I tried to pinpoint the cause with luck. With no motivation left, I found it difficult to wake up in the morning. Starting as a missing class once a week turned into an everyday occurrence. It was so hard to get out of bed I would lay there for hours wondering what was wrong with me. I could no longer dress up or do my makeup, my whole world had turned blue. My grades plummeted and I was spending days in my room. Not only was it a hard time for me but my family as well. I was constantly in fights with my parents because they didn’t understand what was going on and if you’ve ever experienced depression, you know how hard it is to talk about it. After months of skipping school, meals, practice, my mom decided I needed to go to the doctor. I ended up getting prescribed antidepressants and it only made me feel worse. I couldn’t admit that I had a problem and now I had just been prescribed medication for a problem I felt I didn’t have. All of this took me by surprise and starting the medication was hard. The side effects had me tired all the time and it made me feel like I was crazy. Finally, after months of taking it, I started to feel better. Although I started feeling better it didn’t completely take away my depression, I just felt like I could control my sadness. After getting the help I needed I was able to lift myself out of that horrible time in my life. While still suffering from depression, I’m able to handle it better without living in fear of my next episode. The past years have been hard for me but ultimately changed my life for the better. Not everyone is as lucky as me when it comes to tackling their mental health and losing their battle. My own experiences with mental illness have led me to believe that my path is in counseling, to help others that have gone through what I have. If there’s one thing, I want to do with my life is help others never feel the way I did. I plan to continue my education to get my counseling degree even if I make just the smallest of impacts. Thank you for considering me for this opportunity and appreciate the chance to tell just a little of my story.