My experience with mental health has not only changed my life but influenced who I am today. My struggle with mental illness started around the time I was 17. I remember the feeling as if a switch flipped inside me as I became someone I didn’t know. Always being seen as a rather upbeat and happy person, I watched as an invisible weight was tethered to me. Being a cheerleader for 6 years, there was nothing I loved doing more. As something I once loved, I had lost all motivation for the sport. I felt like there was something wrong with me, I couldn’t understand why I felt this way. It started as just losing motivation, to hours sleeping when I could. I didn’t want to be awake. When people explain depression it’s hard to imagine what someone who experiences it, really goes through. Even though I was sleeping copious amounts, I started skipping school to sleep. My whole world turned blue, and I couldn’t admit I had a problem. This only made me feel worse, I was spending all my time in bed and was constantly missing school. The fact that I didn’t think there was something wrong with me made me feel worse. I started ignoring friends and family because I didn’t want anyone to know I was struggling. I was fine and wanted everyone to think I was fine. My grades started to drop, and I had to tell my teachers I was sick so no one would worry. I was miserable and just wanted this pit inside me to go away. I felt like I had a constant cloud over my head and was terrified at the thought of depression. I wasn’t depressed, depression was real, and whatever was wrong with me wasn’t that. My parents started to notice I was locked away in my room and we started to fight. They were upset that I wouldn’t talk to them and was constantly sleeping. This turned into countless arguments with my parents which made me feel even worse about everything. As time went on it only got worse, and if you’ve ever had depression, you know how it comes in waves. Everyone just wanted me to talk to them and explain why I was sad, but I felt like no one understood and I spiraled. It got so bad that my parents decided to take me to the doctors to see if they could help, and I felt like there was something wrong with me. After a few blood tests they decided to put me on antidepressants, and I hated it. I wanted to get better, but meds made all of this so real. I wanted to disappear. I hid all of this from all my friends and made sure no one ever knew I was on “crazy” pills. As I stated taking my meds I started feeling better but meds aren’t a complete solution. I am now 19 and am currently a student at Williston State College. Being a student with depression has been tough and I still deal with depressive episodes that leave me in bed for days. I don’t think anyone honestly understands the toll mental illness has on a person until they experience it first-hand. My mental illness has completely changed who I am as a person and my goals in life. Starting my first year of college my mom moved away which made a huge impact on my mental health. My parents decided I should try counseling. At first, I hated the idea and wanted to leave the second I got there. After a few sessions, I felt like it started to help my mental health. It was then that I knew I had to make an impact in my life. My struggle with mental health has led me through many tough battles but has changed my life. I believe that my calling is in counseling and want to help kids that felt like me, kids that may not be as lucky as me when it came to battling depression. Although I have struggled my outlook on life has completely changed for the better. If I can make even the smallest of impacts in my life, it’ll be worth it. With the society we live in, and the overwhelming stigmatization of mental illness, I think it's more important than ever to talk about it. I am no longer scared to talk about my experience with meds and counseling and hope to help anyone I can. Thank you for considering me for this scholarship opportunity and the chance to tell a little bit of my story.

My experience with mental health has not only changed my life but influenced who I am today. My struggle with mental illness started around the time I was 17. I remember the feeling as if a switch flipped inside me as I became someone I didn’t know. Always being seen as a rather upbeat and happy person, I watched as an invisible weight was tethered to me. Being a cheerleader for 6 years, there was nothing I loved doing more. As something I once loved, I had lost all motivation for the sport. I felt like there was something wrong with me, I couldn’t understand why I felt this way. It started as just losing motivation, to hours sleeping when I could. I didn’t want to be awake. When people explain depression it’s hard to imagine what someone who experiences it, really goes through. Even though I was sleeping copious amounts, I started skipping school to sleep. My whole world turned blue, and I couldn’t admit I had a problem. This only made me feel worse, I was spending all my time in bed and was constantly missing school. The fact that I didn’t think there was something wrong with me made me feel worse. I started ignoring friends and family because I didn’t want anyone to know I was struggling. I was fine and wanted everyone to think I was fine. My grades started to drop, and I had to tell my teachers I was sick so no one would worry. I was miserable and just wanted this pit inside me to go away. I felt like I had a constant cloud over my head and was terrified at the thought of depression. I wasn’t depressed, depression was real, and whatever was wrong with me wasn’t that. My parents started to notice I was locked away in my room and we started to fight. They were upset that I wouldn’t talk to them and was constantly sleeping. This turned into countless arguments with my parents which made me feel even worse about everything. As time went on it only got worse, and if you’ve ever had depression, you know how it comes in waves. Everyone just wanted me to talk to them and explain why I was sad, but I felt like no one understood and I spiraled. It got so bad that my parents decided to take me to the doctors to see if they could help, and I felt like there was something wrong with me. After a few blood tests they decided to put me on antidepressants, and I hated it. I wanted to get better, but meds made all of this so real. I wanted to disappear. I hid all of this from all my friends and made sure no one ever knew I was on “crazy” pills. As I stated taking my meds I started feeling better but meds aren’t a complete solution. I am now 19 and am currently a student at Williston State College. Being a student with depression has been tough and I still deal with depressive episodes that leave me in bed for days. I don’t think anyone honestly understands the toll mental illness has on a person until they experience it first-hand. My mental illness has completely changed who I am as a person and my goals in life. Starting my first year of college my mom moved away which made a huge impact on my mental health. My parents decided I should try counseling. At first, I hated the idea and wanted to leave the second I got there. After a few sessions, I felt like it started to help my mental health. It was then that I knew I had to make an impact in my life. My struggle with mental health has led me through many tough battles but has changed my life. I believe that my calling is in counseling and want to help kids that felt like me, kids that may not be as lucky as me when it came to battling depression. Although I have struggled my outlook on life has completely changed for the better. If I can make even the smallest of impacts in my life, it’ll be worth it. With the society we live in, and the overwhelming stigmatization of mental illness, I think it's more important than ever to talk about it. I am no longer scared to talk about my experience with meds and counseling and hope to help anyone I can. Thank you for considering me for this scholarship opportunity and the chance to tell a little bit of my story.

My name is Alissa Smith, and I am currently a student at Williston state college who has struggles with mental health for quite a while. I feel like it’s always hard to imagine what depression and anxiety look like when you don’t experience it first-hand. Up until a few years ago I was someone that couldn’t picture what someone that suffers from depression really goes through. After experiencing it first-hand the struggles that mental illness can have on a person, it has completely changed my world. Throughout my whole life I had always been considered a rather upbeat and happy person until around a few years ago. I remember almost a switch flipped inside me and I became a different version of myself. I was no longer the Alissa I knew. At 17 watched as an invisible weight was tethered to me and a constant cloud fell over. I first noticed something was wrong when I no longer enjoyed cheerleading, something I had been doing all throughout high school. I had lost all motivation and drive for something I once loved. Feeling this way only made me feel worse, I tried to pinpoint the cause with luck. With no motivation left, I found it difficult to wake up in the morning. Starting as missing class once a week turned into an everyday occurrence. It was so hard to get out of bed I would lay there for hours wondering what was wrong with me. I could no longer dress up or do my makeup, my whole world had turned blue. My grades plummeted and I was spending days in my room. Not only was it a hard time for me but for my family as well. I was constantly in fights with my parents because they didn’t understand what was going on and if you’ve ever experienced depression, you know how hard it is to talk about it. After months of skipping school, meals, practice, my mom decided I needed to go to the doctor. I ended up getting prescribed antidepressants and it only made me feel worse. I couldn’t admit that I had a problem and now I had just been prescribed medication for a problem I felt I didn’t have. All of this took me by surprise and starting the medication was hard. The side effects had me tired all the time and it made me feel like I was crazy. Finally, after months of taking it, I started to feel better. Although I started feeling better it didn’t completely take away my depression, I just felt like I could control my sadness. After getting the help I needed I was able to lift myself out of that horrible time in my life. While still suffering from depression, I’m able to handle it better without living in fear of my next episode. The past years have been hard for me but ultimately changed my life for the better. Not everyone is as lucky as me when it comes to tackling their mental health and lose their battle. My own experiences with mental illness have led me to believe that my path is in counseling, to help others that have gone though what I have. If there’s one thing, I want to do with my life is help others to never feel the way I did. I plan to continue my education to get my counseling degree even if I make just the smallest of impacts. Thank you for considering me for this opportunity and appreciate the chance to tell just a little of my story.

My name is Alissa Smith, and I am currently a student at Williston state college who has struggled with mental health for quite a while. I feel like it’s always hard to imagine what depression and anxiety look like when you don’t experience them first-hand. Up until a few years ago, I was someone that couldn’t picture what someone that suffers from depression really goes through. After experiencing first-hand the struggles that mental illness can have on a person, it has completely changed my world. Throughout my whole life, I had always been considered a rather upbeat and happy person until around a few years ago. I remember almost a switch flipped inside me and I became a different version of myself. I was no longer the Alissa I knew. At 17 watched as an invisible weight was tethered to me and a constant cloud fell over. I first noticed something was wrong when I no longer enjoyed cheerleading, something I had been doing throughout high school. I had lost all motivation and drive for something I once loved. Feeling this way only made me feel worse, I tried to pinpoint the cause with luck. With no motivation left, I found it difficult to wake up in the morning. Starting as a missing class once a week turned into an everyday occurrence. It was so hard to get out of bed I would lay there for hours wondering what was wrong with me. I could no longer dress up or do my makeup, my whole world had turned blue. My grades plummeted and I was spending days in my room. Not only was it a hard time for me but my family as well. I was constantly in fights with my parents because they didn’t understand what was going on and if you’ve ever experienced depression, you know how hard it is to talk about it. After months of skipping school, meals, practice, my mom decided I needed to go to the doctor. I ended up getting prescribed antidepressants and it only made me feel worse. I couldn’t admit that I had a problem and now I had just been prescribed medication for a problem I felt I didn’t have. All of this took me by surprise and starting the medication was hard. The side effects had me tired all the time and it made me feel like I was crazy. Finally, after months of taking it, I started to feel better. Although I started feeling better it didn’t completely take away my depression, I just felt like I could control my sadness. After getting the help I needed I was able to lift myself out of that horrible time in my life. While still suffering from depression, I’m able to handle it better without living in fear of my next episode. The past years have been hard for me but ultimately changed my life for the better. Not everyone is as lucky as me when it comes to tackling their mental health and losing their battle. My own experiences with mental illness have led me to believe that my path is in counseling, to help others that have gone through what I have. If there’s one thing, I want to do with my life is help others never feel the way I did. I plan to continue my education to get my counseling degree even if I make just the smallest of impacts. Thank you for considering me for this opportunity and appreciate the chance to tell just a little of my story.