Sara Chaiton Scholarship for Resilient Women

Losing a parent is never something that someone can be ready for. When it happens before reaching adulthood though, it's truly terrible, even when you know it's coming sooner than you could've ever imagined. My dad was kind, caring, supportive, and anything anyone could ever ask for in a parent. He wasn't a stay-at-home dad, but he's the one in my family who did more of the cooking, and he was home more because his job was less demanding than my mom's. I never realized how much he shaped my view of gender roles, compared to society as a whole. While I got more of my personality from my mom (specifically being a perfectionist, and developing severe anxiety as a result), he was the one who tried to help me find balance in my life. He was the one who tried to make sure that I made time for having fun, and tried to help me understand that it's okay to not be perfect. Even while he was fighting cancer, he was still doing his utmost to make sure my siblings and I were doing as well as we could be given the circumstances. After he died, I was struggling. Not only was I missing my dad for obvious reasons, but without my dad I had trouble maintaining balance in my life again. The only way I felt able to function was by ignoring everything I was feeling and distracting myself, usually in the form of studying. At the time, this didn't seem like a problem to me, because I wanted to go to medical school to help people like my dad, and I needed good grades to get there. Plus, I still wanted to make my dad proud, so I pushed forward. Eventually the consequences of trying to suppress my grief hit me; my grades took a hit, and I went into a downwards spiral. What eventually brought me out of it was finally trying to channel all that my dad had tried to teach me, and finding a way to bring back balance. I stopped overloading my schedule, and started going to the gym. I started spending more time with my friends outside the classroom setting. And eventually, I got into graduate school, and these skills are keeping me sane in such a stressful environment. I had wanted to pursue medical school initially because of my love of biology, and wanting to help people like my dad. Particularly, I wanted to be able to explain all the medical jargon in a way that patients without science backgrounds (like my dad) would be able to understand, so they could make more informed decisions regarding their health. However, after gaining more experience through volunteering in hospitals, I realized that while an admirable goal, it would be difficult given how overwhelmed the medical system is at this time. I eventually learned about genetic counseling, where appointments are structured in a way that you truly have the time to explain concepts to patients. That's what I am now studying in graduate school. When I'm not in class or doing my rotations, I'm working to fund my education. While at school I work as an administrative assistant, but when visiting my hometown I try to pick up overnight shifts as a patient transporter, in the hospital where my dad passed away. Sometimes it's really difficult to be working there, but in way it helps me continue feeling connected to my dad, and it reminds me of why I'm working so hard to one day have a career helping people like him.