Perseverance Pays Scholarship

In 2005 my parents had made the very big and bold decision to pack up the house, four kids, two dogs and themselves and move to a small town outside of Raleigh, NC from New York. Our first day moving into the new home in Clayton, one of our new next door neighbors had offered my dad help moving the couch into the house. We later learned he was a twin. Two brothers that were 5 years older than myself and in a band. Brandon and Taylor were their names and they quickly became like protective older brothers to me. Something I never had, being that I am the oldest of four kids. Our families truly became one. We celebrated birthdays and holidays together. Spent weekends jumping back and forth between the back yards while the adults played dominos inside. When their band grabbed local venues attention they started playing shows around the state and my dad would take me to show support. February 4th 2016 the whole friend group had gone out to support the band at an album release party in downtown Raleigh. It was like any other show. All of us reunited, supporting our friends, listening to our favorite music, dancing, head banging and singing along. However, the next morning was not so normal. I had received a phone call from Brandon asking if I had heard from his twin brother Taylor. About 20 minutes later I got a text from a friend and it was a news article about a car accident where they were unable to identify the driver. Minutes felt like hours as my father rushed to their house to find out what happened. February 5th 2016 I lost my best friend. As a result of me being young, heart broken and depressed I turned to drugs to numb my pain. I continued down that path for two years. My father stepped in to help me find serenity in sobriety at this point. Getting sober was not an easy journey. I learned how short life really is. I have the courage and the drive to take chances that I was once too timid to fathom. Now that I am four years drug free, I have re-enrolled in beauty school. This time around my father passed away during my time at school. He was a 9/11 survivor and the illnesses had finally riddled his body. During his last week of life I promised him I would fight to make a name for myself in the beauty industry. I will make a career and a beautiful life for myself. I will do whatever it takes to make his heavenly spirit proud of the woman I am becoming. I don't like to say I've been given a difficult life, I just have to fight a little harder than others to get to where I know I can be. On a daily basis I have to make a conscious effort to try to remain positive despite the grief that riddles my heart. I fight my demons constantly to continue being a better version of myself than I was yesterday. I owe it to myself. Today, I have a voice and a story I can use to help other people survive grief, addiction and depression. I will continue to fight out loud as long as it means I have the chance of helping at least one person I come across in my lifetime make it to see the beauty of the other side.

Everyone is used to seeing every other person they walk by as a "normal" person and has no problems in their life just because they have a smile on their face. I always used to hide in the shadows with the cloud of depression and other mental illnesses keeping me from what I love to do. Depression is no joke and many people shrug it off as "no big deal" just because everyone is a little blue every once and a while. Depression makes someone loose motivation to the point where they cannot get out of bed or take care of themselves. Depression also makes you do impulsive and risky choices that could affect you in the long run. I currently struggle with depression, anxiety, ADHD, and many more illnesses that makes it harder and harder for me to work with animals and it even keeps me from continuing my studies for my Bachelors in Biology. I also struggle hard with financial issues that makes it harder for me to attend college and continue my education program. It seems like the only strength I have currently is the little thought of hope that started to shine recently with a new job in animal care. Hopefully, I will continue to grow stronger after coming out of the void of depression and continue my college education with a little bit more ease.