My name is Tiana White, and I am now a first year dental hygiene student at FTCC! I am a first generation, low-income, African American, female who will stop at nothing to reach my goals. Most obstacles that I have faced are financial, but the last year of my life has proven to be the hardest one yet. First, I faced burn surgery from an at-home grease fire leaving me out of work for almost 3 months last August. Since then I have had to return to UNC Chapel hill for treatment, therapy, and medications. Through charity care, I was able to establish primary care there and though it is an hour and a half from home, it has been a blessing in disguise due to the many illnesses and dental school requirements I have had. I have faced a large amount of debt between starting off at a 4-year college, taking out private loans due to failures, and backtracking to a 2-year community college after a lot of trial and error (I graduated last May with an associate in arts). In addition to the loans and built up bills, I was a victim of larceny at my job. I had my purse stolen and my phone was sold to a kiosk and I did not get it back until June. This caused me to have to buy another phone when I was only months away from owning my phone and decreasing my bill. My boyfriend devastatingly passed away shortly after the theft and my birthday, which were all in March. He was buried early April, the same week I had to go to a mandatory meeting to compete for a spot in the dental hygiene program. I was completely numb going in to apply for the second year as I was an alternate the year before anyway. Surprisingly, I was accepted into the dental hygiene program a few weeks later, and I cried almost every day on the way to orientation day in June due to his passing. I felt a bit better the day OF orientation, feeling like he was smiling down on me…until my car was hit by a FedEx truck on my way to the health department for one of my TB test requirements. To put the icing on the cake, I caught COVID for the first time since the pandemic a week later from a coworker at my retail job. I have not been the same emotionally and physically, but I continue to push myself and aim to heal and make it through these tough times. Being that this is a health profession that requires us to be healthy all around the board (including emotionally), I try my best to keep my goals in front of me. Being that I was in school so long, I had to write many appeals to be given the chance to receive financial aid for this program. My appeal was finally accepted less than 2 weeks ago and I started classes today! I am excited about this journey I am on, but it is expensive. While I was approved for grants and I won a scholarship from bold last week (which I am still truly grateful for), I still had to accept some loans for school to cover all of my supplies. I believe that this scholarship could help me to decrease the amount of loans that I have and give me a better chance of cleaning up my debts in the future. I am a living example of perseverance, and I ALWAYS will apply myself to showcase that!

I was inspired to seek a degree in dentistry because of my past experiences with dentists. During my last years in high school, I had a root canal and a tooth extraction. Being a low income family, my mother had me and my brothers signed up for Medicaid and we always went to the same local place that accepted it. While the simple teeth cleanings were full of joy and sweet tasting fluoride foam, the dental procedures were not as friendly. When it was time to have my tooth extracted, I had a dentist that was less than slightly interested in my pain tolerance. I was numbed, and told that I would “feel some pressure”. While this is usual for a dentist to say during an extraction (as I have had 2 more since then), what followed was excruciating pain. This dentist twisted and pulled with a force that I believe encouraged me to have Temporomandibular joint dysfunction or TMJ. I cried and made noises that signaled that I was in pain, but he clearly did not care. He continued to twist and pull while I felt every electric nerve snapping away from the tooth. In later visits to other dentists I was always numbed extra when getting closer to the roots. I have been told that my roots are very long, strong, and fused with my jaw. Had the 1st dentist looked into this, I believe I would have had a more positive experience there as well. It has been almost 10 years since that incident, and I still remember it as if it were yesterday. For 2 years I dreaded going to the dentist. I would walk around saying how much I hated dentists. That is….until it was senior year of high school and I had to pick a career to pursue. As a first generation student I was already walking on the path less traveled by. Adding that to the “low-income” factor, I originally considered stem because of the amount of money and stability it could bring me. I considered dentistry, nursing, and mathematics over everything else. It wasn’t until my grandmother was diagnosed with gum disease that I grew a true interest in dental hygiene. Watching my grandmother lose her teeth and slowly replace them with dentures was saddening. She was only in her 50s. As I looked around me, I realized that my whole family had bad dental hygiene. My mom never went to the dentist, my grandpas teeth all rotted out, my brother had returning calculus, and I had cavities that came in pairs. With my family’s luck, I could be next to get gum disease if I am not careful. I have already had 2 root canals and 3 extractions within the past 10 years. I could be completely toothless by 50 if I don’t step up and stop the cycle. Along with breaking a cycle and acquiring financial stability, I have a genuine helping heart. Because I have had my own struggles with dental pain, I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Dental health affects the overall health, and it is my goal to help as many people see the light before they reach the experience the same pain. I love to see people smile. I love to teach people new things. I love being a helping hand! Working as a dental hygienist will give me the opportunity to change someone’s life every single day. I couldn’t picture myself in a better profession.

As an incoming dental hygiene student, I could do a lot with $1,000 right now. I could comfortably pay for the rest of my required tasks before the semester starts on August 15th. I could pay for the second half of my uniform fee, cpr class, remainder of required immunizations, as well as transportation as I recently lost the use of my car. If the money is awarded after the semester, it could still benefit me greatly. Dental instruments and books are far from inexpensive. A thousand dollars is hard for me to come by only working a retail job. It would take me a little over a month to save, but that’s without spending a dime. In all reality, I wouldn’t be able to save it at all between the private student loans, food, gas, miscellaneous debt, and medical bills that I’ve had to pay for this year. Not being able to save this year has hurt my pockets and added worry to my everyday thoughts. $1000 could bring me much closer to a comfortable transition into the dental program that I have wanted to be a part of for the past 8 years! If chosen, you can rest assured that the money will be funding a greater purpose. I am entering a health profession to help and educate others and create confident, and most of all healthy smiles. My education is well worth the investment. Thank you for this great opportunity!

My favorite book actually comes as a set. That set is titled “A series of unfortunate events”. I know I am older and should probably pick a more sophisticated book in the eyes of others. But this set of books grabs my attention in a way that others can not. While my former peers fought to grab the newest Harry Potter books, I was in my own zone. I first read the series in middle school when I could not afford to buy bundles of books. I checked them out of the school library in sets of 2 or 3, challenging myself to finish a few each week. Sometimes I had to wait weeks to check out the next chapter because it was already checked out, but the wait was well worth it! “A series of unfortunate events” was an ongoing fictional tale of 3 siblings that seemingly lost their parents to a fire and became orphans. Throughout the series, they went through a rollercoaster of emotions, a plethora of settings, and a gamble of luck as an evil man chased after them and their inherited fortune. Throughout their journey, the orphans found themselves in the most unthinkable ways to die, and prevailed by the skin of their teeth. While this may seem like a sad story, the author wrote these books in a way that kept me on a path to optimism, hope, and faith. I believe that this series was my favorite to read because I have 2 younger siblings. Since I am very imaginative, I put myself in these books as if I were protecting my brothers in hard times. It was a very empowering series to me based off of that simple connection. It helped me embrace being a leader and thinking outside the box.

I am a first generation, low-income, African American, female who will stop at nothing to reach a goal. My long term goal is to become a dental hygienist, and I am finally close to achieving that. I start a 2-year dental hygiene program in the fall and it has been a long journey getting to this point. I see myself moving out of state once I become a dental hygienist as I have lived in North Carolina most of my life. I believe that this program will set the foundation for a new life for me. Most obstacles that I face are financial, but one of the most recent problem I faced was the loss of my boyfriend. I face some emotional conflicts that cause me to cry and become upset at random times and places. Being that this is a health profession that requires us to be healthy all around the board (including emotionally) I have to hide my emotions while healing from them at the same time. I have had days here and there to grieve, but I usually have to be out and about at work, hospital visits for my burn surgery that occurred last august, and program related meetings. Another obstacle I am facing happens to be a car accident I experienced last week. My car was wrecked by a FedEx truck that decided to travel backwards in a left turning lane and destroy the front my car. This is causing a problem for me as I use my car for work, meetings, and to go to my medical appointments that are over an hour away. Being that I still have requirements to fill before the program, it is a bit frustrating to not be able to just get up and go. I now have to wait and pay for expensive Lyfts or synchronize my schedule to match my mothers schedule to be able to complete everything in a timely manner. This may also affect my attendance when school starts because I have to be there early Monday through Thursday. My professors have already expressed that being on time is crucial and that doors will be locked once class begins. I cannot necessarily express how I will remove my boyfriends death from my mind, but I am sure I will progress with time. Securing my spot in this program should also bring me a bit of happiness and shift my mind from the thought of his passing, as he always rooted for me to get in. As far as my car is concerned, I am doing everything that I can to have my car fixed or compensated for as fast as possible. I have never been in a car accident before so it is a challenge finding the correct routes to take legally and medically. I am also applying for other jobs to try and save money for transportation in case I cannot receive help in time for school. This past year was filled with bad luck, but I like to think of myself as the “rose that grew from concrete”. Finding this website filled with scholarships was a blessing in disguise. I am not sure if I will win any scholarships at all, but they have helped me rise to the occasion and build myself up. After only a month of active use on this site, I have not only climbed the leaderboards. I have discovered a website where I can truly express myself. My struggles, my tears, my accomplishments, and my dreams are all going into these wonderful scholarship opportunities! Thank you for reading!

I accepted loans that I should have never applied for… private loans. Being the first in my family to go to college, I felt that I would be considered a failure (or a “drop out like my mom” as my grandfather would say when I explained my poor grades) and did anything I could to stay in college to prove otherwise. I started off at a 4 year university and for the first 2 years, I overwhelmed myself with classes I hated just to cover up the fact that I had no idea what to major in. I originally applied with the intentions of being a pre-dentistry major because I was brought to believe that this particular institution housed that major. When I arrived to the school, I was sadly mistaken. During the “cheer” summer program I attended preceding my first fall semester of college, I was signed up for classes under “pre-computer/math” which seemed odd at the time, but most people with stem majors were under the same thing and I figured it would be changed once the school year actually began. Once the fall semester started, my freshman seminar teacher (who happened to also be my advisor) announced that there was no actual pre-dentistry major, and that we could major in whatever we wanted as long as we matched our courses with our intended dental school’s requirements. This made me realize I had no idea what I was doing, and I felt like I had failed myself. I went undecided for 2 years trying classes out to ultimately decide on a major. Throughout the last 2 and a half years of attending the 4 year university, I spent all of my time going to work multiple part time jobs while trying to fix my failures and experimenting with courses I had no interest in. As you can guess, my grades suffered tremendously. I believe I completely failed 19 courses all together and withdrew from the maximum amount of 5 more courses at that university. I was writing appeal after appeal trying to convince the university that I was worthy of another chance. I believe they gave me these chances because I started off as an honors student who attended “cheer” (and because I took out private loans to pay after I was no longer eligible for financial aid) All together, I accumulated over $50,000 in both federal and private loans. I was ready to finally give up in 2019 and become the drop out I thought I was destined to be. As I was walking across the campus to formally withdraw, I came across my fifth grade teacher who happened to work there. I cried for hours telling her about my experience. She looked at me and said “you should have come to me sooner…you are smarter than what your transcript shows” and spent the next couple of hours helping me enroll in a local community college instead. She told me that I shouldn’t waste the credits I’ve earned just because it didn’t work out at the first university, and she was absolutely right. I graduated with my Associate degree in Arts and applied for a dental hygiene program. This year I was chosen! Currently I work in retail part time…but I am an African American, first generation, low-income student making my way into dental hygiene with high hopes! This scholarship is 1 of 54 I have applied to on bold to help my situation, and it will not be the last. I truly thank you for this opportunity, and the chance to be seen and heard!

I believe that taking up space means exploring beyond the box that society has set for you. It’s similar to treating yourself like the main character. If you had your own show, would you sit in the background and let someone else say your lines? No! You’d take on that stage and possibly include some improv to make it the talk of the town! Taking up space shows people that you have what it takes to make a change for the better, no matter how uncomfortable it makes those around you. Being that I am a first generation African-American female pursuing a career as a dental hygienist, I know exactly what taking up space looks like. I recently attended orientation for the dental hygiene program I am starting in the fall. While I noticed that while there were a good amount of people there that looked like me, I also noticed that my mentors and future professors did not. There is also an apparent difference in the amount of struggle I face in comparison. While most of my peers already have their uniforms, dental instruments, and health requirements covered, I find myself afraid that I will be dismissed or viewed poorly for not being able to promptly afford everything I am required to have. Even with those worries gnawing away at my brain, I walk around with confidence knowing that I want this opportunity badly. To keep myself focused and determined, I like to believe that I am taking up space in my own mind. If I can’t push past the barriers within myself, there is no way I can combat the ones pushed on me by others. The ways I apply “taking up space” to my daily life are quite simple. Every day, I push past physical, financial, and emotional distress. Every day, I push myself harder to become more organized, confident, and intelligent. Every day, I apply for scholarships and climb the leaderboards to take up space on Bold.org. Every day, I make those around me proud! Coming from an underrepresented group of people, I go out into the world and search for the paths less traveled by. I love when unique opportunities present themselves to me. There is not a day that goes by that I consider myself regular or simple. I know the qualities and talents that I possess, and I hope that the person reading this feel them through this essay. I will stop at nothing to prove that I am worth the investment. Thank you for this opportunity!

Legacy used to mean nothing to me. Being the first in my family to go to college and follow my own paths, I learned what being or having a legacy truly meant later on in life. Though I cherish my family, I was not handed a blueprint to follow to avoid my failures and constantly accrued debt. I had to learn the hard way. I had to fall and scrape my knees on more than several occasions. Growing up, my family was almost always scraping to get by. Scraping up what they had to fund field trips, chorus fees, dance outfits, birthday parties and gifts, school dues, etc. More often than not, they came up with the money for whatever I needed the day before, or morning it was due. Growing up not knowing what the next day held birthed a procrastinating, last minute, random, spontaneous, scattered woman. I had to unlearn many things I was used to growing up to become more responsible and stable. I plan to continue to break the cycle of debt, procrastination, laziness, and self-sabotage that I have fallen into. I believe that if I wish to leave my own legacy one day, it must be a positive one. I would hate for my children to struggle the way that I have because they saw me do things a certain way. I wish to increase my knowledge and step into a career that will set a stable foundation for my future. I will be the first dental hygienist in my family! Not only that, but I will be the first in my family to enter a health field related career! If given the opportunity, I will use the scholarships that I am awarded for my new journey in dentistry. I am pursuing a 2-year degree in dental hygiene that I have been eagerly awaiting acceptance to. This degree will not only help me and my community; it will create a chance for me to build a reputable name. I will finally be at a point in my life that serves a purpose greater than myself. A legacy means more to me now than it ever has. Knowing that I can create my own and excel past the assumptions that others lay in front of me is exciting! I can become who I WANT to be with hard work, dedication, and most importantly, education. I know that I can't predict the future, but I also won't make a difference standing still. My time is now, and I will do everything in my power to chase my dreams. Below I have attached a picture of my boyfriend who recently passed away. He never doubted me…even when I did. I know he is watching me from the clouds cheering me on.

I plan to make a positive impact on the world through my art and music by using the talent that I was born with. In terms of music, I sing, rap, whistle and make beats. When it comes to art, I draw, paint, crochet, and create anything that comes to mind! Though I do not pursue art or music as a major, I am always creating outside of school. I use my talent to express myself and my emotions, make people happy, and occasionally win contests! (A singing contest about COVID-19 that I won is linked down below!) I am currently a dental hygiene student seeking help to fund my career so I won’t have to continue to limit the time I spend on my crafts. Early on, I convinced myself that going to school for the arts would not benefit me, as I sang and created things my whole life without seeing a secured career in that path. I may have made a mistake in this decision, but I also love dentistry and I still find ways to create things in my free time. My peers and fans are constantly asking when I will be putting out more covers, original music, art, and crochet pieces. They even repost my videos while I am away from social media! This shows me just how much people believe in me and my potential. Music is my passion, but it takes time and money that I do not currently have. A career in dental hygiene will give me a better chance at stability. With that stability, I plan to further my skills in music and art. I plan to eventually create my own in-home music and art studio. If I am chosen to win this scholarship, it will bring me that much closer to living both of my dreams!

I am passionate about receiving my education because of the opportunities it presents to me and my community. I am a first generation college student who has wanted nothing more than to be able to help people. I am a dedicated young woman who successfully gained entry into a dental hygiene program this fall after countless failures and setbacks in college. I applied for this program last year and was determined to be an alternate. I did not let this discourage me from applying again this year, and I am so happy that I didn’t. This last year of my life was the only year in my life that I have taken a break from pursuing a degree. This is because I finally graduated with an associates degree and I was not chosen to immediately start the program when I first applied. I have always tried to avoid becoming a drop out because I set an example to a lot of people around me. Being the first to go to college, let alone graduate, makes me feel good because it brightens the hearts of my family members. I believe they live through me and my experiences because they did not get the same chances I did. Getting my education is more important to me now than it was years ago. Early on, I saw education as a way to get me out of my grandparents home and into my own room in some dorm. Now I see that my education can help thousands of people if continued and used correctly. Though I always wanted to see what dentistry was about, I never thought about how detrimental it is to peoples overall health. It can affect people in a negative way if care is not available or put off. Since high school, I have had my own battles with dental health. I have needed route canals and extractions, all of which I could not initially afford. I suffered painful headaches and days where I could do nothing but lay down until I found a source of funds. Dental care is very expensive and has even lead me to a CareCredit card that accumulated a few thousand dollars for only 2 procedures! Without furthering my education and establishing a stable career, I may run into that same problem all over again. Given the fact that I have a chance to make a valuable difference in my community, I feel that I must do everything I possibly can to secure funds for my journey to become a dental hygienist. I have submitted my FAFSA months in advance, applied for scholarships inside and outside of my college (with the help of bold.org), asked my family for help, and saved as much as I can to afford the dental uniforms needed for the program. Being that this program is very demanding financially, I can only hope you will see my drive and help me achieve my goals. This program is very important to me and I am determined to make sure that I am doing my part to secure my seat. Thank you for this opportunity!

I believe one of the biggest problems we face today is costs of transportation. Everyone needs transportation in some form or another. But as prices rise for just about everything in the U.S., transportation is becoming more of a burden than a luxury. I believe that there should be an increase of availability for transportation alternatives for everyone. Transportation where I live is limited to the elderly, the disabled, and those that live in busier parts of the state. Being a 26 year old woman without disabilities, I am limited to finding my own transportation to not only school and work, but to medical appointments as well. I experienced burn surgery in August of last year, and I have had poor luck in many areas of my life since then. While assistance is offered for my medical expenses due to me being below the poverty line, there lacks a mode of transportation to the hospitals that offer me care at a discounted rate. I live over an hour away from my primary doctor and am forced to find my own way there. I also stay in the outskirts of the main city where busses run. Since I just got into a car accident days ago, I find myself having to ride with family members and taking Lyfts. Both of these modes of transportation cost almost 10 times more than gas would in my own car. I believe emergency transportation availability should be promoted for the every day person that face hard times like this.

Someone I admire from history is Harriet Tubman. She led slaves to freedom and set an example of bravery, fearlessness, and determination. While many people simply focus on her role in the Underground Railroad, I believe it is important to focus on her belief that greater exists outside of the conditions that constrained her. To be a leader is to take the road less traveled by, and I believe she set an extraordinary example. Great minds don’t come often, and they should be explored when they do. Harriet Tubman used her faith to lead slaves to freedom without a care in the world about the consequences. Traveling back and forth as many times necessary to fulfill what she saw was her purpose in life was a dangerous, yet rewarding task. She sought no monetary reward or recognition as she helped those around her. She simply moved to push people to a place to a place that offered them a better life with greater opportunities. Harriet Tubman left her mark on the world for reasons that only she knew. In most stories, it is told that she heard the voice of God that told her to lead her people to freedom. Whether this is true or not, she possessed a gift that many people lack or are too afraid to utilize. There are many followers, but there are only a handful of leaders that walk or have walked this earth and influenced global change. It is my belief that everyone should fight to obtain the leadership skills that Harriet Tubman and exhibited and put those skills to use in their own way.

They most helpful piece of financial advice I received came from a minimalist friend of mine. He said “every time you find yourself shopping online….fill your cart with everything you want, check it over, add more, then proceed to checkout. Once you get there, delete the cart and close the browser.” This tip has stayed with me for the last year. It has been more than useful for me because I spend a lot of time on my phone and pass hundreds of advertisements a week. This same friend told me “If you can’t buy it 10 times right now, you can’t afford it”. Using both tips, I have been able to slow my spending money on unnecessary items numerous times. Between department stores, fast food restaurants, gas stations, advertised websites, and malls, there are a lot of things that can grab my attention and make me lose focus. In the past I would end up giving things away, selling things, or returning items because I bought them on impulse and had no true need for them. Following these simple tips in my everyday routine, I have probably saved myself hundreds of dollars. Though these tips were simple, they were the most helpful for my situation. I have been financially irresponsible in the past and using those tips gave me a step in the right direction. I truly believe that other people could also benefit from the same tips, as online shopping has become more prevalent after Covid-19 and quarantine. Advice like this that targets budgeting, saving, and self control is needed more than ever in our society.

Education is important to me because it is provides endless opportunities. The opportunities that education provides enhances the value seen in a person. When people think of a success person, they often question include their education as a determining factor This is not to say that those without an education are not successful, it is only to say that those with an education have something standing behind them to strengthen their portfolio. Being that I am the first to go to college in my family, I am often bragged about and never spoken down on in comparison to some of my other family members. I am also held to a higher standard and people believe in me easier. Though I have made mistakes in my journey of education, I have never completely given up and have always been in school after high school (besides this year as I was waiting to be able to apply and be accepted into a dental hygiene program this fall). Given that I am still pushing toward my initial goal of getting into dentistry, I find that education is still a very important and necessary part of excelling. If I had given up my willingness to learn and prosper, I would have never had to chance to enter a field that none of my family have had the chance to. At the most, I believe my great-aunt is a CNA, but no other person in my family has been anywhere near a career in healthcare. Most of my family have missing teeth and unresolved health problems, with a lack of funds available to fix said problems. Getting an education in a healthcare field could not only help me, but it could help my family and those in my community. When I start the program, it is a requirement to bring in friends and family, as well as random people in the community for cleanings and education on dental health. Being that dental health affects the overall health, I will be doing a great service to my community and my family just because I am a student! Education fuels the fire for those who know they were born to help, and I am one of those people. From holding doors and helping people get groceries into their homes at a young age, to volunteering in high school and college, and now working in nothing but jobs that focus on customer service and hospitality, I have always had a passion for helping people in any way that I can while pursuing an education. Imagine the lives of countless others I will be helping after my program is complete. I will be an actual dental hygienist helping hundreds of people a year by 2024! This is why education is, and will always be so important to me.

My greatest achievement to date is being accepted into a dental hygiene program. I have wanted a career in dentistry since I graduated high school in 2014. I have taken an odd path to reach this goal as I started out at a local 4 year university and ended up at a 2 year community college. Being the first in my family to go to college, I was extremely unaware of how hard it would be. I made poor decisions both academically and financially up to the point of considering dropping out completely. Somehow I ran into my 5th grade teacher who unknowingly worked at the university I attended, and I cried my eyes out telling her the news. She helped me realize that I am smarter than what my academic record displayed, and that I should have sought her help sooner. She helped me get into a 2 year community college to put the credits I already had to use in achieving an associate degree. While I was getting an associate degree, I was able to apply to a dental hygiene program at the same 2 year college. Though I was only 1 of 10 alternates for the 34 student program, it showed me just how close I had been all along. I applied again this year and was chosen to begin this fall! Now I am literally 2 years away from this dream becoming a reality. This experience taught me to believe in myself and to let nothing stand in my way. I have doubted myself for the longest time for reasons I don’t understand. I have shown myself how hard I am willing to work toward my goals, and I make myself proud day by day. So many obstacles stood in my way in the last year alone, and I am still pushing and striving to be the best I can be. I have been on an emotional, financial, and lifestyle rollercoaster this year. I was an alternate in the dental hygiene program the first time, so I experienced a gap in school causing my student loans to come out of deferment. I met the love of my life last year, only for him to pass this year in March. I signed up for the delayed entry program to the Navy last summer as a plan B, only to have to withdraw due to a grease fire in August that caused me to have burn surgery, months out of work, piling bills, and constant doctor visit throughout the year. I also just had my very first car hit from the front and wrecked by a FedEx truck that was going backwards in a middle turning lane (yes you read that right) just a few days ago. Through all these obstacles I am still hopeful that I will reach and achieve my goals because something greater is BOUND to come from all this catastrophe. In the future, I hope to inspire those that feel the weight of the world crashing on top of them to keep going. I hope to influence young people to put their all into their passions and goals and NEVER give up. When I was little, I looked at dental hygienists and thought the world of them because of their caring hearts and willingness to make the smiles of saddened children like me shine brighter than their worries. I will do my BEST to improve people’s lives and their overall health. I believe my entire purpose in life is to make a positive and meaningful change in someone else’s.

I believe that a practical solution for helping people who struggle with mental health is to include it more often in everyday places. More often than not, I witness mental health counselors, grievance counselors, and offices for those with disabilities treated the same way. They are put off to the side and isolated in a way that makes people believe that something is wrong with them if they seek that help. Though it takes certified people to help with certain situations, I don’t think this should always be the case. I think back to when I was in high school and I could go to a counselor for anything. Schedules, scholarships, feelings, and disabilities could all be discussed in the same room. In the real world, there are pamphlets and brochures for buildings made specifically for those things, and they all mention some sort of “treatment” or “therapy” as a solution. I am not saying that everything should be mixed together. Nor am I saying that these cases DON’T warrant treatment or therapy. I DO, however, think that people who don’t always go through mental or emotional anguish struggle internally with seeking outside help when nobody is naturally checking on their well being. I use myself as an example because scholarships like this give me a way to express my own battles with my emotions (as I would hate to be frowned upon in the career I will be pursuing). I believe that mental health checks without judgement, assumption, and immediate consequences could help people tremendously, even if it were as simple as a survey at work or school. I say this because I was given assessments after the passing of my boyfriend in late March. They’re useful, but they could help a lot more people if assessed earlier.

1. I obviously deserve this scholarship solely because I have the deed for it right here in this fortune cookie🥠….it came with last nights leftovers. I mean, who else you gonna believe here? 2. My academic goals include anything boneless. Which actually sucks because somehow I got into a dental hygiene program and they said it’s like…bones involved…so….yea…but hopefully that’s just a rumor. 3. I overcome obstacles all the time. Like yesterday when I overcame a curb while I was driving. I also overcame burn surgery for my hand in august, but it still doesn’t know how to fight or make origami swans, so I’m not sure if that’s really considered a victory.

My boyfriend passed in March from a miscellaneous drug overdose. He was a light in the lives of many people and made sure to smile everywhere he went. No one knew him to do drugs, so we are all still in shock of his passing. I am not suicidal, but this has left me with an emotional imbalance that I can not shake. Given the fact that he was always so happy and helpful, I could not see why he had to leave this earth so soon. He was the first man to come into my life and make me feel genuinely loved and accepted for who I am. He was also a great loving father to two kids before and after I met him. He not only left the kids behind. He left his big loving family, who treat me with nothing but respect, behind as well. I am not sure if his death was intentional, as he was dealing with a lot around the time he passed. I’d like to believe that it was not, but he is not here to answer that question and the only thing that can is my wandering mind. Every day, I am saddened by the thought of him leaving. I am aware that my mental health is not at its peak because of this, but I am unsure of what to do about it. In the black community we tend to brush things like this under the rug and silence ourselves in times where we should speak out and express our emotions. I teeter on this fence because of the way it can make me look to others. My primary doctor offered grieving counselors to me after I cried at my appointment following the funeral. I turned this down because it was too soon for me to talk about it without crying. I was also given an “annual” suicide survey at my following appointment, which made me feel as though the counselors were offered only in an attempt to prevent me from committing suicide. That thought alone made me shy away even more from the idea of a grieving counselor. It made me feel as if they just needed the money, and I was vulnerable enough at the time for it to be pushed on me. Because I am known for being smart and talented, I find myself trying to uphold that image to the outside world and fear talking to someone that may label me otherwise. Though I am not necessarily afraid of any diagnosis I may receive, I am cautious of the way the perception of my mental health can affect my future. I am going to be a dental hygienist, so I obviously plan on smiling throughout my career-to-be. I don’t want to deal with stigmas placed on me for feeling this way so early on in the program. I believe that death really opened up the doors to my mental health imperfections. I overthink, I cry, I deny, I cry harder, I calculate, I weep, I accept, I sleep. I wake up with eyelids as big as hushpuppies and I try to go on as best I can. Some people are aware of his passing. Others usually say things that trigger my emotions. For example, my car was smoking about a week or two after returning from the funeral in his hometown. A couple coworkers said “Don’t you got a boyfriend? Why doesn’t he do it?” I could not fight my tears then, nor as I type this. I get these questions often now. I also run into a lot of people both at work and randomly who ask me questions that require me to tell them that my boyfriend has passed to either stop their assumptions, or to stop any inconsiderate comments that follow if I do not. It makes me feel like I’m being taunted for reasons I can’t understand. Being that I don’t know of my boyfriends true mental health state before he passed, nor my current mental health state, I battle being non-responsive, celebratory, and combative every day in my mind. No one can ever figure out my mood and I’m seen as bipolar. I wish there were better ways to figure out and cope with these things without finding myself ashamed of or cautious of the people that could help. People usually come to me to vent and feel heard, but I have not found that level of comfort and acceptance outside of my boyfriend. We talked about everything into the night. Now I am left to talk to myself and the sky…but don’t fret! There ARE things that keep me going. A week after his funeral, I attended a mandatory meeting for a dental program I previously applied for. Last year I was an alternate. I joined the navy as a plan B, experienced a burn from a grease fire, had burn surgery (which took skin from my leg to place on my hand), ultimately dropped myself from the navy DEP program (as I had too many appointments for the wounds and medicines to be able to leave for boot camp) and reapplied for the program this year. I was chosen to be one of 34 students for this years program and I am truly excited! Though I wish he was here to see me, I know my boyfriend is pushing me from the clouds. His family and I also still keep contact! I am actually visiting his mother, daughter, and son today as his daughter’s birthday was yesterday. Though I fight an internal battle, I find that my emotions will not stop my journey. They may affect me negatively, but I am still healing mentally, physically, and emotionally and I will not stop hoping for improvement. Thank you giving me the platform to not only express my mental health, but to reflect on it as well. I have cried many tears writing this. Scholarship or not, this is my stepping stone!

I believe mental health is very important. My boyfriend recently passed of a miscellaneous drug overdose for reasons unknown, because he was never known to do drugs. Since his passing, I have been struggling mentally myself. I am not suicidal, but my emotional health has noticeably taken a huge tumble. I cry without warning, and have days where I question my purpose. He always wanted me to do greater, and a week after his funeral I attended a mandatory meeting for the dental hygiene program I was just accepted into. I feel as if he is watching me chase my dreams from the clouds, and that keeps me hopeful. I am a smart and determined young lady and I know that this career is meant for me. The only thing that stands in my way now is finances. They say “money can’t buy happiness”, which is true. But I do believe that it can fund a successful future for a girl in my financial situation. If given the opportunity to fund my costly educational goal, I will do everything in my power to continue to make those around me proud! The same hard work I put into obtaining a dental hygiene career will go back into the community when I achieve that goal. Thank you for reading and the best of luck to those of you also finding their purpose through trial and error!