Laurette Scholarship

The day I got diagnosed with autism I found out through a phone call from my parents. At the time I was in Timberline Knolls, a now shut down residential faculty. I was fifth teen years old and up until that phone call I thought that there weren't any words to describe my struggles. I had been struggling for quite some time at that point. At ten years old is when my mental illness and autism traits started to show. I was at Timberline Knolls for attempting to take my life multiple times up to my admission. I had tried countless inpatient and outpatient programs as well as medication and therapy. Nothing was helping and I just kept getting worse. When I found out I was autistic is felt less alone. There are others who struggle like me and I finally started to feel heard. I wish I could say that being diagnosed magically changed everything. It helped but it couldn't fix all of my problems. After being in and out of inpatient hospitals and Timberline Knolls I was still deeply struggling. This past year I got admitted to Calo yet another residential treatment program. I moved states away and I was miserable. Until the day I decided that I wasn't going to continue the cycle of hurting myself and being stuck in pain anymore. That decision has completely changed my life for the better. Yes, I am autistic and yes, I still struggle but it's how I am choosing to handle and grow from these things that matter most to me. I am now in college, and I am learning to live again. I am so thankful every day that I have chosen to keep going and stay. Thank you.

Julian_Anderson Scholarship Submission I was raised by my single mom, who always works hard to provide for our family despite many challenges. She works long hours as a massage therapist and I help by working as a busser at Chilis Restaurant. We live together with my grandmother and my 11-year-old sister. My mom is the sole provider for our household, balancing multiple responsibilities while ensuring that we have a safe home, food on the table, and always encourages me to pursue my dreams. Her strength and determination have always inspired me, especially because she desires to see me continue my education and build a better future for myself. I would be the first in my family to ever attend a university. I have been meant with lots of challenges of my own, you see I was a non-verbal child until my 1st grade in school and I was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) at age two. Because of my inability to communicate, interacting socially has always been a struggle for me, and have been bullied because of it. I decided I would focus all my energy in my studies and stop listening to all the bullies. It has not been easy, I have to say at one point I was depressed because of this, I really wanted to connect with people, just do not know how, but through therapy and proper medications for my depression, I am working on my social skills and getting better. Well despite all of this I maintain a GPA of 3.98. I am looking to pursue a career in computer science and engineering, at Millersville University in my home state of Pennsylvania, where I was accepted. It has always been my dream to learn more about technology and how it can benefit society. It is my dream to create an app or program that can aid in stopping cyber bullies. Financially, things have not been easy. My mom’s income supports all of us. With increasing living expenses, it is difficult for my mom to save for educational costs. We do not have additional financial support from my father or other family members, other than my grandma, she helps as much as she can. I understand that much of my education will depend on financial aid, scholarships, and my own efforts through part-time work. Despite these struggles, my mom has always made it clear that education is the best way to success and a good future for myself. Her sacrifices motivate me every day to work hard and make the most of every opportunity I am given. I have a strong desire to study computers and technology, as I am fascinated by how innovation can change lives and open doors to new possibilities. I hope to one day use my education to support my family, help my sister follow her own dreams, and make my mom and grandma proud by showing her that all her hard work was worth it. Receiving financial assistance would make a significant difference in helping me achieve these goals. It would ease the burden on my mom allow me to focus more fully on my studies, and bring me closer to building a stable and successful career in computer science. Sincerely, Julian Dior Anderson – nmercado69@gmail.com – 717-977-1132

Autism and ADHD are the two mental disabilities that I have dealt with throughout my life. I was diagnosed with these disabilities at the age of two, but it hasn’t stopped me from pursuing a college degree. Currently, I am a senior at Fisk University with a double major in Mathematics and Physics. I received my associate degree in physics at Nashville State Community College before transferring to Fisk University. I completed my first semester at Fisk as a junior with a 4.0 GPA and this was a proud achievement for me because I felt that it was a difficult task to obtain due to my Autism and ADHD diagnosis. The daily challenge of living with Autism and ADHD is having increased anxiety about my future. Being an autistic person of color to me means that I can break barriers I once thought was impossible. My mother is a motivating factor in my life because she constantly encouraged me to be myself and ignore all the struggles of being an autistic person, and her hard work is paying off. I would like to obtain a graduate degree in physics. I’m currently a math and physics major at Fisk University. Fisk University has a great graduate degree transfer program with Vanderbilt University to increase minority involvement in science, and I plan on using that opportunity to obtain a doctoral degree in physics. Having a doctoral degree in physics as a minority means that I can bring a different experience to my field and be able to convince other minorities to obtain STEM degrees. I also will be able to enter the teaching field with a doctoral degree in physics and that would provide me with the opportunity to share my knowledge with underprivileged students. Before attending Fisk University, I had never had an African American physics professor. My current Fisk physics professor, Dr. Bryan Wallace encouraged me to pursue teaching as a potential career path. I used his advice as motivation to pursue other African Americans like me to obtain a college degree. The lessons learned from my educational experience will grant me the ability to conduct science fairs in underserved communities. Having a doctoral degree in physics and pursuing a career in mechanical or aerospace engineering is great for my individual success, but I would not feel any accomplishment unless I helped other people join the STEM field. I had minimal interest in joining the STEM field until I had a high school instructor that highlighted the benefits of science in our community, and I gained the confidence that I could have a successful life within STEM. If I am selected for this scholarship, I would be very grateful to know that my dream of hosting science fairs in underserved communities would be one step closer to becoming a reality. Being a student with autism means that I had to break barriers and learning that I can accomplish many things in life with hard work gives me the motivation to continue my family’s legacy of fixing vehicles.

It seems a gross understatement to say that coping with my already intense anxiety during COVID was challenging. Piled on top of the virus, riots, and looting outside my Manhattan window, I was under the almost constant attack of overwhelming stress, manifesting in repetitive rocking and self-harmful movement, blurry vision, hallucinations, difficulty breathing, and crippling claustrophobia. In the amplified traumas of those eighteen months, I began to reflect on how I had always struggled with the same fundamental things. Social interactions, sensory sensitivities, hyper-focused interests, repetitive behavior, and a general obsession with structure and order were things that I had masked to be socially acceptable to the world. I began to ask my mother what I was like as a child, she recounted stories of my intense sensitivity, crying on the streets of NYC that “there was a needle in my sock” when it was a strand of hair. I was so deep in an ever-persistent pang of panic that I turned to reckless decisions to fill the void of my anxiety-filled emptiness. Looking for a way out of this abyss, I turned to research, and a possible diagnosis; ASD, or Autism Spectrum Disorder. I have always been obsessed with reading and doing research. Finding articles like, “Understanding the social experiences of adolescent females on the autism spectrum” or “Understanding and recognizing the female phenotype of autism spectrum disorder and the “camouflage hypothesis” fascinated me. I was drawn to this possibility of having an answer to why I was suffering so much. With the support of my parents, I sought a diagnosis. After a year of insurance issues and ignorant professionals, I was finally diagnosed with a sensory processing disorder, panic disorder, and Autism Spectrum Disorder. With the support of family, friends, and doctors who cared, I finally had a guiding path towards recovering my mental health. Post-COVID has been an incredible time of growth in all aspects of my life. I have learned to understand how to be accommodating and patient with my limitations, while also celebrating my gifts and skills. In this past calendar year, I have had no panic attacks and minimal sensory overloads, and I am finally finding a way to be my authentic, unapologetic self. Beyond the growth in coping with difficulties, I have also found ways to celebrate my disability as a way to educate others. University has allowed me to educate myself through psychology classes, as well as educate others. As Pepperdine University celebrated Disability Awareness Week, I spoke on Neurodiversity 101 in front of fifty students and faculty. Speaking from experience and years of education, I taught many people basic language and myths about Neurodiversity that they were not aware of. A few weeks later, I received the good news that a paper I co-wrote, with our school's 2023 Valedictorian, was getting published in a well-respected journal. This paper was all about the negative effects of masking, or hiding autistic traits for appearing more socially acceptable in our neurotypical world. As I learned how to embrace my multi-faceted identity, I began to share the value of seeing my disability as a gift with others around me. This groundwork of research, advocacy, and education has led me to develop my dreams for a future career. I hope to serve my community of New York City as a child clinical psychologist for disabled and neurodivergent youth. I cannot wait to guide, teach, and support young students of color in urban areas, providing them with the same answers that changed my life.