John Nathan Lee Foundation Heart Scholarship

The pain I have had to experience while watching my grandmother struggle with heart problems and undergo heart surgery is something I still struggle to put into words. It is a feeling that sits heavy in my chest, a fear that follows me everywhere, and a sadness so deep that some days I don’t want to believe it’s real. My grandmother is not just a family member—she is my foundation, my comfort, and the one person who has been there for me through every hardship I’ve faced. She has guided me, protected me, and loved me in ways that have shaped who I am. The thought of losing her feels unbearable, and seeing her in pain reminded me just how fragile life can be. During some of the hardest moments of my life—losing my mom unexpectedly, my dad going to jail shortly after, and having to build my life from the ground up—my grandmother’s presence was one of the few things that gave me strength. When I felt alone, she gave me a place to land. When I didn’t know what direction to go, she gave me guidance. And even when she was hurting, she still tried to be strong for me. Watching her fight through her own health battles made me realize how strong she truly is, and it pushed me to want to become stronger myself. That is why this scholarship means more to me than just financial help. It represents hope—hope for my future, hope for my grandmother’s well-being, and hope that I can someday support her the same way she has always supported me. Education is my path to stability, to a career, and to building a life where I can give back to her. I want to be able to help her manage medical needs, reduce her stress, and provide her with the peace she deserves after everything she’s done for me. This scholarship would allow me to continue my education with purpose and determination. It would help me step into a future where I am not just surviving the challenges life has thrown at me but rising above them. Most of all, it would help me honor my grandmother’s strength by becoming someone she can be proud of—someone who uses their pain, their resilience, and their love to create something better, not just for themselves, but for the people who carried them through it.

Coping with the sudden loss of a parent is a profound and transformative journey, one that reshapes our perspectives and challenges us to navigate life's uncharted territories. My journey began the day my world was shattered by the unexpected passing of my father due to a heart attack. In the aftermath of this devastating loss, I embarked on a path of resilience, learning, and emotional growth. For as long as I can remember, my father has dealt with cardiovascular disease resulting in him being diagnosed with Coronary Heart Disease and having multiple strokes. During the first day of my senior year in high school, my father suffered from a massive heart attack and stroke resulting in him learning how to talk, walk, eat, write, and learn basic functions all over again. Watching my father battle this caused me to be depressed constantly wishing I could take the pain from him. For four years, he constantly improved every day. He was able to see me graduate high school, send me off to prom, send me off to college, and attend my college graduation. Then, two weeks before my first day of graduate school, my life changed forever. The day my father passed away stands etched in my memory. The pain was visceral, and grief engulfed me like a storm. Initially, I found myself consumed by a whirlwind of emotions, such as anger, sadness, and ultimate confusion. The sudden void created by his absence seemed overwhelming causing me to fall into a deep depression. For weeks, I stayed in my room glued to my bed only tossing and turning to reach for more tissues or take my prescription of antidepressants. I lost all interest in my hobbies. I rarely talked to family and friends. Amid this depression, I could not even find the slightest energy to attend graduate school resulting in me pushing it back a semester, hoping that by then I would be in a better state. In this profound sorrow, I discovered the slightest bit of energy to visit my father's grave. I cried, laughed, and talked with him for a while searching for a sign that he was okay and to give me the courage to find strength within myself again. Out of nowhere, a deer appeared ahead, staring at me. After staring at it for a while, I knew my father was there comforting me and answering my cries. After that visit, my life turned around slowly but surely. Through the support of family and friends, including my father, I began to transverse emotional terrain. I discovered a wellspring of strength within myself, a resilience born from the love and lessons my father imparted. His unwavering belief in determination and perseverance became my guiding light. Moreover, I found solace in meaningful activities again, such as reading, poetry, and crocheting. I even had enough courage to attend graduate school again. While the pain of losing my father remains an intrinsic part of me, I transformed grief into an opportunity for growth. Each step forward was a testament to my father's influence, his teachings serving as a compass guiding me through the darkest of times.