Hermit Tarot Scholarship

The tell-tale gleaming sickle and the daunting skeleton underneath the tattered robe instill a sense of dread as it lay face up, providing a moment of hitched breath as the word "Death" is scrawled along the bottom. One's first instinct is to always assume the worst, with their brain instantaneously running through their desired prospects, in fear that everything will come to a crushing, bitter end. That was my belief as well when I had a reading done. My brain then devolved into a mush of anxiety and confusion. Why, Death? Why not The Lovers? Things couldn't get worse. I couldn't lose anyone else. The tragedy of my stepfather's recent suicide produced scars to this day that still aren't healed. My mother's horrible grief-ridden decisions taunted me day by day, as my living situation became more harrowing. At that moment, I was surrounded by criminals and drugs, my only solace being in the necessary care of my little siblings. My body and soul needed change. That feeling was visceral throughout every breathing moment of those days. Through my school assignments, my social perseverance, my ambition for college and creating a life of my own. One not shrouded by the clouds of misfortune. And yet, I was stuck. I felt an obligation through the unwillingness of my mother to change. I felt weak and cowardly; eventually, that perseverance wore off and I ultimately lost myself. That was, until that fateful tarot card. The spine-tingling absurdity of that Death card. It wasn't until I had lost myself in a wormhole of research, that I had an epiphany. This card, moments before, signifying a fortune of horror, had then changed into a glimmer of hope. I wasn't going to die. Well, at least not at that moment. That feeling of freedom and an urge to move forward bubbled back up me like a carbonated soda too shaken up to contain its contents. This card didn't signify the end of all things. It merely represents the end of an era. An assassin to a moment of trauma. The vicious reaper of an even more vicious cycle. I have the strength within me to get past this. To leave. To put this part of my life..to death. Little did I know, months later, I commanded enough courage from myself, to leave and to push for change and help. I am now entering college, with my path set toward my biggest dreams; the environment around me is like a conductor of electricity, powering me to move and push. That grim reaper sickle cut the overgrowth and allowed new feelings and ideas to thrive and receive light. That stoic and strong skeleton lifted me upright, so I may stand on my feet and face adversity. That tattered cloak, acting like a plate of armor, shielded me from doubling back. Protected and strengthened me enough to fight forward. This is why "Death" is my favorite tarot card. It is misinterpreted and feared. It is not something you'd think you'd want. It seems like an end to possibilities; a roadblock. When in reality, it is a transformative card, one that tells of the creation of a new life; a reincarnation of your passions and a mirror to all of your fears. The end only means new beginnings on the horizon.