Gloria Stokes Memorial Scholarship

The boisterous crowd bombards me with love and support as I win the "Best Actor" award at the Academy Awards. I am standing in my traditional black suit and tie, crying tears of gratitude as I walk up to the podium for my speech. As I reflect, I think of everything that has led me to this point in my life. I think of the undoubtedly problematic experiences and the failures that have been part of it. Accepting the award, the sleepless nights of my fear of failure come rushing through my head as a reminder to continue pursuing my dreams. The crowd chatter began fading, and now I read my speech: When achieving a long-life dream, the wait to get there is the most painful feeling anyone with the biggest ambition could ever experience. Today, I would be lying if I said everything was easy and my life story was okay. The best part of receiving this award is looking back and overcoming my experiences. One experience, in particular, was from my hometown. Living in the south was like living in a cardboard box. In this box, there was no room to breathe or lack of judgment from others. Everyone's depiction of me mattered. Like every black kid, my peers compared me to what was known as "urban culture." Thus, urban culture was not the image I wanted for myself. I would see everyone living up to the standard – playing basketball, addicted to street culture, and even the act of violence. Then there's me, the boy who wanted to pursue acting and storytelling. But confidence and acting have to mix - and it didn't. It wasn't until my weight was a problem. I'd be the center of attention in the hallways as people would come to me with disturbing remarks. I would receive verbal and physical abuse. People would punch me in the stomach. I was constantly called a person with diabetes, which negatively affected my mental state and judged me as a failure. As I walked into the audition rooms, I internalized every remark rushing through my head. And then, voices would get louder, and the world around me turned into a space of darkness. I thought "my arms were too big" or "sucking in my stomach would fix the problem." It was harmful to the point that the cardboard box naturally shrunk, and the words felt like sharp objects clashing in my brain. I had no control. Words were in control of my body and feelings. At that moment, I had to figure out a way out of the cardboard box. I remember sitting in my bedroom and learning that overcoming this required change. I saw this shift and negative perspective on acting that made the art of writing intriguing to me. Writing stories and filming content became natural, and I started to see a view that exposed my love for my appearance. I wrote short films on topics about body image issues and fear. I brought my words to the screen and publicized my passion for acting on social media. Now, I'm an actor and writer standing in front of a crowd with the most significant award in television. No one gets this award just to receive it; it comes from a past of sweat and tears and is the underlying root of success. Thus, this award embodies my experiences with fear of failure and confidence and represents the cardboard box opening for good. I am this award! I am the confirmation that dreams are possible no matter the road it takes to get there.