From a young age, I was aware of my calling on this earth. Young children are very intuitive and, due to their innocence, lack the biases and insecurities that often negatively distort our perspectives of ourselves and the world. Starry-eyed seven-year-old me would tell you, likely with a lisp due to her missing two front teeth, "I'm gonna be a princess doctor!" From elementary school until now, I have always been aligned with the purpose of working in healthcare to cure the sickness and ailments of good people experiencing a tricky thing. I recall a photo of me from 1st grade when I dressed up as a doctor for Halloween, and it's clear. I could have been a princess, a ghoul, or a cat like most kids my age, but I chose to dress up as my dream career field. I find that photo nostalgic as if it alluded to or foreshadowed the future I'm currently pursuing in healthcare. Although I cannot remember sassily posing for my picture with my hand propped up on my hip or much of the events of 1st grade, I'm still that same little girl in that photo with the same passion for healing.
Another undeniable love that survived my childhood is my love for children, especially babies. As a little girl I had too many baby dolls! I would feed and care for them as if they were real because they were to me. I was a baby pretending to take care of babies; the irony of that! Combine these two things I have cherished deeply over the years, and you get the impact I wish to make on the world. I will become a nurse practitioner working in the labor and delivery as well as neonatal intensive care units (NICU) to promote the health of women who desire to bring a blessing in the form of a baby into this world. Then, I'd want to support the health of these newborns to ensure that they receive a fair chance to grow into generous individuals who also want to spread a loving impact into the world because we all can agree that the world is in dire need of more love and compassion.
What made my child-like fantasies materialize into a work-in-progress reality is a combination of life experiences and personal realizations. There wasn't a specific "ah-hah" moment when I knew I wanted to be a nurse. Over time, life has molded me into an individual who would thrive in a career: the personality to connect with people, a heart filled with compassion, and a brain that enjoys science and anatomy. From when my little brother broke his arm and I carried his backpack to class every day or getting honest with myself that I was not cut out to be a surgeon because of my shaky hands! Or the Thanksgiving my cousin got emotional when she shared her gratefulness to have a safe birth in a hospital as a black woman, which ignited my natural curiosity to lead me down a rabbit hole of research to discover the high birth mortality rates in the U.S. especially in woman of color like myself, which further inspired me to create a project on it for school assignment and to specialize in women's/newborn health. It's the volunteer hours in my church's nursery, the challenges and adversities I've overcome, the role models and support systems, the stories of the people I've met, and my faith that have led me to nursing. I could tell you that I chose nursing, but in reality, nursing chose me.
All my life, I struggled with who I am. In school I felt invisible, I wasn’t athletic, I couldn’t stick to a hobby nor did I have a “passion” for anything. I have always excelled academically, but I never knew my niche.
Throughout childhood, my Grandpa suffered from multiple strokes. His first stroke occurred when I was six years old, and it permanently paralyzed the right side of his body. The moment I was able to see him in recovery, my first instinct was to place a Disney princess bandaid on his now paralyzed leg. He gave me a crooked smile, took me in his arms and warmly uttered, “You are my nurse.” His words deposited in my heart and made itself at home.
Five years later, he had another stroke that worsened his paralysis, and gave him aphasia which affected his ability to speak. I was now eleven, and my family and I were devastated at his regression. My heart broke at the sight of my grandpa who was once full of life, who spent everyday fixing things around the house, who preached every Sunday ,was now bound to a wheelchair and disabled. But one thing my grandpa taught me was to always have faith and understand that this is all temporary, so in due time, serve others, love one another, and do the right thing. My heart yearned to help him and others in need of healing, so that’s what I did. With zeal, I gave him his medicine, checked his vitals with my nursing supplies kit I got for Christmas, changed his clothes, and kept him company whenever my grandma was working 12 hour shifts at the hospital. I took my interest further and began doing research on his health conditions which led me to discern my growing passion for nursing. This became a part of our daily morning routine, and it felt so natural and endearing to me. Just as he did when I was six, he gave me a crooked smile, pulled me onto his lap and proudly exclaimed to the rest of my family with a slurred yet strong voice, “She is my nurse!” Those words that deposited in my heart at six years old came leaping to the surface and made me realize—this is my passion… I am meant to be a nurse.
It is in my nature to serve others; it makes my heart full. Now that I know my purpose, I will walk in my calling through nursing. I am a junior nursing student at Kennesaw State University, and I aspire to obtain my DNP to become a Family Nurse Practitioner. I hope to contribute to my community by not only taking care of my patients, but also working on the administrative side down the line to positively impact the healthcare field by using my platform to dismantle the corrupt, harmful ethics rooted within the system and build up healthy, integrous morals to repair the damage that has occurred to both patients and nurses.
I have been through many different phases and inconsistent changes in my life, but the one thing that has never changed is my assignment on this earth, which is to give others hope through healing them and sharing the good news that they are here for a purpose. My grandpa lived a life full of love for others and left a beautiful mark on this earth. As I pursue my journey to become a Family Nurse Practitioner, I will carry the lessons, love, and compassion he placed in my heart and strive to keep his legacy alive.
