Another Way Scholarship

Rosalyn. Taylor. Isabel. Kailey. The list goes on of how many girls I have been in a relationship with throughout my school years. Some lasted months, many only lasted days. It was this constant rejection and lack of compassion from my significant others that led to my depression during my freshman year. I consider myself to be sociable, but conversations started to feel uninteresting and I found myself not responding to messages on my phone. I was a hard-working kid, but after my most recent breakup that year, my grades started to drop. I thought I was a forgiving person yet the only person I could not seem to forgive was myself. Every action I considered to be wrong either because of my own morals or my religious affiliation put more weight on my shoulders. I realize in hindsight how self-righteous I thought I was. I felt like I was constantly repeating the phrase "I can do it by myself" but the reality was that I was crumbling in a state of decay. Eventually, I broke. I regret every time I recall walking silently to the garage that night, grabbing my dad's pistol, and sobbing as I wanted to kill myself. But for some reason, I did not pull the trigger. I entirely believe Jesus prevented me from death because there was a moment not of fear but of tremendous love for me that I had prevented myself from remembering. Not just from Jesus, but from representations of Him too. My family and friends (my brother who suffered from depression and my church in particular) brought me back from the edge. I never received therapy or treatment for my depression, but I am happy to say that my life looks much different now that my life is not founded on my relationship status and my past mistakes. As someone interested in going into vocational ministry, I plan to normalize mental health as well as provide for my community in any way possible through the church. Many mental illnesses are treated similar to physical health problems in the United States where there is an obvious symptom or solution. I believe that Jesus, He who saved me from death in more ways than one, can cure mental health issues through the church. I also believe that God has allowed medicine to advance in order to alleviate mental health problems. Even still, I plan to encourage and inspire church members to take action in mental health through advertising counseling and providing small groups where people can pray and provide for one another as well as participating in these groups myself. As a leader, I will have many follow Jesus' example in the way of loving others and, in a way, curing others of mental health through community.