This 2022-2023 school year, which is my senior year, has not been easy at all. Many things kept happening which made me lose focus in school. Last summer before school started, my older cousin committed suicide. It was extremely tough since I suffer with mental health myself and seen him come into my job moments before he took his life. Now looking back, I believe he came to see me for the last time which thinking about it makes me emotional. Having that be the last time I saw him will always be kept with me. Once school started, my mental health became too much to handle and I simply could not just push through it. At the time virtual work was just impossible for me to achieve with. Now in October, I finally started to get better, which then I tried to apply to my work when then my grandmother passes.That night waiting for my mom and when she arrived, I noticed other family members were present and they all told me at once that my grandmother was in the hospital. At the time, it did not register to me, and I took that as she's somewhat fine but in a bad condition. My grandmother was an alcoholic who didn't take care of her diabetes, so I was used to her being in the hospital. The month prior she was in the hospital so I just took it as a light situation. When we arrived, I knew it wasn't like previous times. She was on life support and at that moment, the nurses told us that she was basically already gone. Being in a room when you just saw that person alive days prior is honestly mind changing. My great grandmother who suffers from dementia was with us and it was hard seeing her cry for one minute and then leaving the room is fine. She even continues to ask if my great grandfather who passed when I was in 8th grade is still around which is always sad. Her being there was too much but we tried to give her as much time with her oldest child as possible until my grand-aunt took her downstairs to wait. I waited and stayed with my grandmother holding her cold hand and watching her monitor ratings slowly hit zero, which would then pronounce her officially deceased. My aunt couldn't handle what was going on so my mom had to take her downstairs as well to wait. I was by myself, and didn't want to leave even after we all said our goodbyes. My mom was the strongest out of everyone and I hope one day I can be the same. On November 3rd, I had to celebrate my 18th birthday. The day I was emotional and spent my morning crying. My mom tried to be as cheerful as she could for me which I am happy for. My aunt was still a wreck understandably after her mom passed, and coming to Thanksgiving, we have not heard from my aunt in a few days. We later heard that someone put a false report on her which made my mom and I scared. I have only witnessed my mom cry 4 times in my life and at that moment she cried thinking the worst happened which broke my heart. We put our own report out on her. She later arrived which was relieving. The holidays including my birthday was a rough time for my family. It is now December, and I will be going back to school January 4th. I couldn't focus or just push through as many hoped. I am not a tough and strong person at all and have let the hardest moments in my life take over me. I am however, a real person with real emotions who with even hard times, try to still have some motivation once I am able. My story may not be one of the most cheering, but I know that this is just a part of life and that this was just one of the bad chapters. In the future I will work on how I handle situations like this. Im an art lover and plan to take that into my career and hopefully can give meaning and connect to others with similar life experiences. To be the voice that tells people it may not be okay right now, but it will eventually be somewhat alright later and to turn your pain to something that motivated you no matter what it is and drive towards achieving your goals.

What I consider feminist is simply not what many are quick to think is simply against men, but I believe feminism to be about putting women first. Many women have had to deal with being last or waiting their turn, which does not occur as much now but still happens often. Women were raised to think they are supposed to cater and live for a man, that your main goal in life should be becoming a wife and mother, but we are so much more than that. Over the years we have made a voice and an impact of how we are viewed, and not as objects but as people. An inspirational person in my life that I would say can fall under the category of feminism, would have to be my mom. She's a hardworking single mother who even though may have the worst things happening to herself, will still take the time to help others out. Before leaving, my mother was in charge of a yard crew and took on many tasks that was initially not her role but still made sure work was getting done. Just recently this year (2022) we have lost two family members who were close with her and even with that she still has a will to continue trying and to continue going on. I just recently got back in to the swing of things and I hope one day I am as strong as she is. A strong women who will take anything that is thrown in her direction. How I think I may contribute to feminism may not be meaningful and seem a lot to many people, but I plan on one day starting a business with my art work. Growing up, I have been told that I should just consider art a hobby and try to look for a more stable and high paying job, which just made me want to prove differently and show that art is way more than that. Art is a part of me and I plan on sharing that with the world. I currently work at a local shoe store which thankfully all my fellow workers are women which dealing with a recent creepy male worker, has made me more appreciative of that. I also contribute to volunteering with people with special needs which I can say is one of my best moments of the week. I feel not many people can be used to a task like that as I am but I feel I am used to it since my mom worked with many different people and I was constantly around. Which I am thankful for because not many consider people with a form of disability to be normal which makes me upset because I do feel everyone should be treated equal. The person I volunteer with currently is one of the sweetest people I have met and is someone I consider a friend. Last year as a late Christmas present, I decided to do a painting of him. It was one of my first big paintings and I'm happy I got to share that with him. To me, feminism can be described in many different ways, ranging from what is right, to equality.The work I have done may not be big for others, but for me it is meaningful and one day will be more meaningful to others.

Growing up I've suffered with mental health issues ranging from depression to bpd and did not get properly looked into until currently in my senior year of high school. So far this school year has been extremely challenging and it has not even entirely been because of school. From two passings in my family, to creepy coworkers, and a missing family member and beloved family pet, I can say I am pretty much over 2022 and ready for the upcoming year. With all of these personal events happening, I was still told I needed to focus and try my best for school. I knew I was not capable of focusing on my school work which has already played a toll with my mental state but with a break I am ready to go back and finish my senior year strong. I am grateful that I have such a system that will allow me to come back to school and finish my remaining classes because not many would receive such a chance. With the opportunity I have it makes me feel seen and that my problems and hardships matter which makes me feel I have to put my all in my last couple of months of school before taking on this new chapter os college life. This year I can say has been one of my hardest and has brought me to one of my lowest points. I thought I was just going to be constantly stuck in this loop of terrible things happening but with time I have been trying to grasp that this is just life and I'm just not going through one of the best chapters of mine but I will overcome it. I have been trying to be more motivated, so apart of that is getting more on track with working on college. I am very passionate about art and have been creating things ever since I was young. I think it will only be right to pursue in a career that can not only put a smile on my face but can for others as well. Art is so much more than just something on a paper, or a hobby, it is so much more filled with meaning to which I plan on helping others to be able to connect with. Life is far from easy, but if I can not necessarily get over events, but slowly come to the realization and acceptance of them and become somewhat better, then it's only right to keep on going.