Mental illness has been a part of my life as long as I can remember. I was first diagnosed with depression when I was 13, but I knew deep down inside I had depression before I entered my teenage years, a milestone where hormones start to change, and a child can experience a different side of life. Throughout my childhood and growing into a teenager, I was learning how to function with being irritable all the time, and a constant wave of sadness and feeling alone. Transitioning into a teenager, I was used to the feelings I was experiencing and acted on them multiple times, including my first suicide attempt, which was in the fifth grade. While these experiences are painful to remember, they have shaped me into the person I am today. Growing up with depression has shown me at an early age that mental illness is not temporary, but it can last forever. It's something that requires constant understanding and support- like a light bulb. When a light bulb runs out, you have to make sure it's okay so it can shine bright again. The COVID-19 pandemic has significantly impacted my mental health journey. I remember repeating the same cycle every day. Wake up, go online for my classes, and go back to sleep. Sometimes I would fall asleep during the meeting prior to staying up the night before, crying myself to sleep. The cycle was depressing to the point where I was falling behind in my classes, and my grades started to slip. The memory that will stick with me forever is the day I overdosed on my antidepressants and was admitted to the hospital. I remember the journey from my admission to graduating from the outpatient program as if it were yesterday. Mental illness has not only affected me individually but has also impacted my family throughout the years. One of my significant losses in my life was a family member who lost their battle with depression, my cousin, Calvin. Seeing how my family reacted to his death really made me sit back and realize that one day, that could've been me. Grieving while managing my own depression was hard, but it helped me believe in how much mental health matters at every age and gender. Despite my significant challenges, I have remained committed to helping others and continue my education. My passion is working with children, specifically working with those who are affected by trauma, neglect, or other circumstances in the family court system. Struggling from a young age, I understand how impactful it can be when children feel unheard. Through a career in criminal justice, I hope to bring compassion, justice, and support to a child in need. Surviving depression, loss, suicidal attempts, and the isolation of a global pandemic has taught me that I am here for a reason. No matter how much I go through, I am here to leave a mark on the people I encounter. Just like that light bulb, I'm still shining bright.

From the books I have read, I have learned that my healing journey is not only a process for myself, but also a process that helps me understand and connect with others. All the books I have read have one common meaning: healing. In today’s world, healing can be difficult. Based on my experiences, healing has been a process of trial and error for the longest time. Sometimes, it may feel like I am doing everything for nothing. Some days, inner healing can be frustrating. However, as I continue to read, my healing becomes less frustrating and more patient because I learn about the experiences of others and realize that I am not alone. When I was a freshman in high school, I began to enjoy reading poetry books. I remember the first poetry book I read was Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur. I did not know much about the book, but I became interested after seeing a TikTok about it. The first few pages gave me a sense of relief. They made me feel as though I finally had someone to relate to. I saw pieces of my own pain and suffering reflected in the words, including experiences I had grown up with and was still facing. For the first time, I felt understood. As the older sister of four, it can be challenging to feel like I always have to be the strongest one. I enjoyed reading Milk and Honey, and it inspired me to read more poetry. The second book I read was The Sun and Her Flowers, also by Rupi Kaur. I connected with this book because it focused on finding myself and understanding what it means to grow as a woman. Growing and developing as a freshman in high school was scary, but this book helped me begin to understand myself at a young age. Lastly, Home Body by Rupi Kaur was another book I continued reading during my freshman year. Home Body helped me realize that my mental health is real and that I am seen. Being diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and anxiety at thirteen made me feel isolated. I felt different because I had an official diagnosis, even though deep down, I already knew that I felt different from others. Poetry helped me put feelings into words when I did not know how to express them myself. Now, as a college sophomore/junior, I am continuing to explore and read more poetry. I am currently reading The Book of Healing by Najwa Zebian, which explores healing on a deeper level. I love the section “Letting Go” because letting go is something I have always struggled with, and the book has taught me that I am not alone. I also purchased Healing Through Words by Rupi Kaur, and I know I will love it just as much as my freshman self did. Reading these books has shaped my goals today. As someone who is continuously growing and healing through trauma, I want to give back to my community. My career goal is to become a family court judge, and I am pursuing this dream by majoring in Criminal Justice with a minor in Social Work. This has been my dream since the fourth grade after completing a Black History Month project about Thurgood Marshall. I want to bring healing and understanding to children who feel that no one is listening or truly sees them. Today, I am still growing and still healing, but this time, I am doing it with the help of my love for poetry.

Growing up as the daughter of an incarcerated father shaped who I am today. When I was born in June 2007, my father was serving a seven-year sentence for mistakes he made before I was born. During the first six years of my life, I knew my father through phone calls, letters, and visits to the county jail. Although he was not physically present for many of my childhood milestones, he never stopped reminding me how much he loved me. Even from behind bars, he made an effort to be a father. His incarceration meant he missed birthdays, holidays, and many of the moments that children typically share with their fathers. I will never get those years back, but I also witnessed something many people never do: I watched someone completely change their life. After his release, he worked hard to rebuild our relationship and has now been a loving, devoted father for more than twelve years. Watching his transformation taught me that people are more than the mistakes they have made. My father's experience has taught me lessons that guide my life every day. He was only eighteen years old when he went to prison, and I am around the same age now. Knowing how one poor decision changed the course of his life reminds me to choose my friends wisely, stay focused on my goals, and think carefully before making decisions. He has also taught me the importance of taking responsibility for my actions instead of making excuses. His honesty about his past has shown me that true growth comes from accountability, perseverance, and the willingness to change. These experiences have directly influenced my academic and career ambitions. I plan to major in Criminal Justice with a minor in Social Work because I have seen how incarceration affects not only the individual but also the entire family. Growing up with an incarcerated parent gave me a perspective that cannot be learned from a textbook. It inspired me to pursue a career where I can help families navigate difficult circumstances with fairness and compassion. My ultimate goal is to become a Family Court judge specializing in family law. I want to advocate for children and families who are facing challenges similar to those my family experienced. I understand the emotional impact that separation, hardship, and difficult decisions can have on a child, and I hope to use both my education and my personal experiences to make thoughtful, compassionate decisions that keep the best interests of families at heart. Although my father's incarceration changed my childhood, it also shaped my future. His story taught me resilience, accountability, and the power of redemption. Those lessons continue to motivate me as I pursue higher education and work toward a career dedicated to helping families and creating positive change within the justice system.