According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, Autism is a variable developmental disorder that appears by age three. Age three! That is when a parent should know their child is Autistic. Yet I was diagnosed with Autism at the age of seventeen. After multiple years of wondering why no one understood me. I was able to complete one piece of the puzzle. I was on the Autism Spectrum. For some, this revelation may have been disturbing, upsetting or depressing. For me, it was enlightening. This revelation allowed me to not only dream about college, but it became the driving force behind my decision to attend college and it affirmed that engineering was the right path for me. Being diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder at such a late age posed many challenges. My mother struggled to understand how this could happen. How could her child, who went to regular, yearly physical exams, and had a primary care physician, be diagnosed with something so serious at such a late age? My mom felt blindsided and responsible and she was full of guilt. I did not have the words to explain to her that I was relieved. I had an answer to so many questions I never could answer about myself. I finally understood why certain activities were more difficult for me compared to my peers. For years, I lived in a world where it felt like no one understood me at all. I felt alone, isolated and completely misunderstood. This Autism thing was the answer! I was finally able to fully accept who I was. My sophomore year of high school was by far the worst year of my life, socially and academically. I stayed home due to severe asthma and I struggled in all of my classes. The isolation I thought I craved became unbearable. I became more of an introvert and loner. I did not understand my teachers, and they did not understand me. I did not know how to ask for or get help. I had always been a strong student with great grades. I suffered in silence, but I never gave up on myself. I just wanted to understand why. Now I understand! After I found out for sure that I was Autistic I began to research on my own what it meant to be on the spectrum. I did not feel as alone. Now I knew there were other people like me. My grades improved drastically in junior year. I still struggled to communicate with people, but I was learning strategies I could use to help myself and others understand me. My Mom was not as frustrated with me and that made home life easier. I stopped hating little things about myself that seemed so different from everyone else. I love computers, building things and patterns and that’s OK. I plan on majoring in Engineering when I start college in the Fall of 2023. I believe being Autistic may even be an asset to someone who wants to work in Engineering. I can manage time alone, but I can also work with other people. I can fully dedicate myself to a task and focus wholeheartedly on that task, much better than other people. Autism is not a hindrance. It is a part of who I am. Letting the world know I am Autistic helps them understand me better. Realizing that I am Autistic has spurred a newfound sense of curiosity that I am hopeful will lead me to discoveries in college and beyond.

When I began high school, I had a well-organized plan and a set of goals I was sure would be easy to accomplish. During my freshman year, I began working on my detailed plan and things were going exceptionally well. My love for swimming was allowing me to overcome my severe anxiety and fear of social situations. I was finally part of a “crowd” and making friends. What I learned early in my freshman year is that even well-made plans may require change and alterations. During my freshman year, while swimming daily for my high school swim team and swim club, I became responsible for my sister and grandmother for several hours a day after school. I had to adjust my schedule, change my plans, and create new goals. Change, in general, is difficult for me. Like so many Autistic people, it is difficult for me to change course, alter plans and create new goals. Taking care of my sister and grandmother became my focus and that is how I was able to learn what leadership and service meant. Taking care of my family provided me with an unexpected sense of accomplishment, and gratitude and is my most cherished high school experience. Being raised by a single mother, I always had additional responsibilities compared to many of my peers. This was the first time I would be responsible for taking care of other people without assistance. After school, I had to take care of my sister and grandmother for 3 - 6 hours. I was responsible for snack time, dinner, homework help, medication distribution, bedtime routine and making sure they were both happy and well taken care of. My grandmother suffers from dementia, and I had to learn to be a better communicator and listener. With her memory fading, she loved to tell stories about her past life. I became her friend, not just her grandson. I learned so much from my grandmother and I began to see her health improve. Just the act of me listening to her stories, sharing moments of laughter and joy at the wisdom she shared, led to an improvement in her spirit and she began to thrive. There is no greater joy than to see a smile on my grandmother’s face! Although I did not get to join clubs or play sports during high school due to my responsibilities, I learned life lessons and the true meaning of empathy, love, and compassion. My mother could have hired a nurse or helper, but my stepping up to the challenge, not only saved my mother hard-earned money but led to a stronger, more rich relationship between my grandmother and me. My sister could have easily stayed in an after-school program. Instead, we have a strong bond that will last a lifetime. I am her real-life superhero and that is the best feeling in the world.