I faced hardship about my sexuality once my mother found out I was a lesbian. As a black woman, it is frowned upon to have homosexual children. My mom made me feel worthless, putting me out the house and moving- changing phone numbers and addresses. She did not want to have contact with me for over a year. I had no other stability, leading me to live with friends and other family members. I was crushed. I thought she would embrace me for telling the truth. She shamed me, and told all of her friends about it. I was embarrassed, emotional, and broken. It took years for us to reconcile. Countless disagreements, thousands of tears. I still don’t know if I fully forgive her, but I was desperate for a relationship with my mother so I kept reaching out. Kept buying gifts and popping up at placed I knew she’d be at. As we worked towards getting better, I noticed my mother try to push out the women to played a motherly role to me during her absence. That caused deeper pain, she could’nt grasp the fact that someone out there was still able to love me no matter what naysayers thought. This pained me even more. My sexuality is a very sensitive subject, and i come from a traditional background. So family members being passive aggressive was common, I learned to take everything to the chin. I’m very private when it comes to my relationships, so they never know who i’m with that the time. They constantly ask about me having kids and starting a family- as if I don’t know what they’re truly asking. The hardest part of things are reassuring my immediate family that I do not have to embody a man just because I’m attracted to women. Its a struggle having to over explain how I’m not going to cut my hair off, get a bunch or piercings, or get my breast removed. They tend to think that just because you’re gay that you arent’t happy with yourself. I am very happy, and changing what I look like on the outside does not validate who I am on the inside. It has been a tough journey, but it built character. I’m not sure if I would be the person I am today if i didn’t go through that hardship. As I aged, my mom and I’s relationship has gotten better. I hope to teach my future kids to love everyone as they are.

Zakia Self I had an older sibling, 15 months apart. My name is Zakia Self and his name was Zickey Self. We were best friends and basically twins. We took on every adventure together, we got in trouble together, we were each other's better half. One day, May 20th 2017 to be exact, my brother was gunned down in broad daylight. We were on the phone from 7:02-7:06, he was pronounced dead at 7:10. I couldn't believe how fast tragedy struck. My spirit was paralized. It changed me forever. My brother was giving a friend a ride to Auto Zone, where he was ambushed by 2 mysterious gunmen who had been waiting from the opposite side of the building. I think what crushed me the most was the fact that they weren't targeting my brother, the killers were targeting his friend. I remember being in such disbelief, I mean- how could something so bad happen so quickly? It was catastrophic. Initially, I was filled with confusion. I tried to continue on with my life. I never took a break from work or school, which I should've. At the time of his death I was finishing up my associates degree in the applied science of dental assisting. I could hear my instructors words during class, but I was recollecting no information. When it was time to test, my photographic memory was sharp enough to push me through and finish with a passing grade. Every thing I learned in school I had to reteach myself in the field. I lacked motivation, I self sabbotged after feeling like nothing was worth it. I was fighting depression everyday, I never once quit. I pushed myself out if bed daily. I put on a smile, I worked through my emotions. These tactics were assisting me in becoming the most resilient version of myself. I allowed myself to cry, without feeling weak. There came a time when I stepped away from dentistry and worked at a State Hospital as a patient care tech. The psycologist informed me that when you mix grief, with anxiety and depression that it shuts down your long term memory. It gave me the validation that I needed. I knew then that I was a true fighter. Not giving up is one of my great strengths. I purchased a dog to help keep me moving. Princeton, my maltipoo, was a very good investment towards my emotional support and mental health. He helps me feel like I have a reason. A reason to go outside, a reason to go for a walk, a reason to cook, a reason to run around and play. He has played a signifigant part and bringing my spirits close to what they used to be. The psychologist from the hospital had no idea what her words did for me. The validation it gave me was all the influence I needed to keep going. I am obssessed with knowing my potential and pushing myself past all the limits. Although losing my brother was a calamitous event, it built me into something unstoppable.