“How’s Uncle Jay?” my brother asked, and the room seemed to stand still as the planet continued spinning. The question left my mom similarly frozen in time as my father muttered, “I can’t do this,” before leaving the bowling alley. I took my twin brother Jeremy outside to tell him the awful reality. My uncle Jay committed suicide on July 29th, 2015. He had gotten into an argument with his girlfriend, who strangely kept her loaded handgun in the refrigerator. That night he had already had too many beers but eventually grabbed the firearm instead. He ran upstairs, locked the bedroom door, and shot himself. My brother was in boot camp for the Marines then, and we could only communicate via postage. My family and I decided it wouldn’t be ethical for him to read it in a letter during grueling training. We were staying at Myrtle Beach after his graduation and decided it would be best for me to tell him there. He unfortunately asked much earlier on Family Day and immediately knew something was wrong because of our parents’ reactions. With tears welling up in my eyes, I heard him beckon, “Don’t tell me he’s dead… Don’t you tell me he’s dead!” I could only muster a nod, and my brother sprinted toward one of the most difficult training grounds on Parris Island. He got to his knees and cried for what felt like an eternity. Jay was our best friend growing up and always aspired to master as many things as possible. He lived with a whimsical sense of charm and could make the whole room laugh like children. He tried to learn anything from everyone and could fix just about anything. Unfortunately, my uncle was diagnosed with anxiety at a very young age and dealt with it for a lifetime. I was unaware of what anxiety felt like when my family explained this. Now I’m as familiar with it as most people. At about the same time, multiple rugby concussions left me struggling to focus, study, and even wake up on time. I eventually had to take a leave of absence from the University of Scranton. I then lost my way while dealing with not only head trauma but emotional trauma from loss and my unrealized personal goals. I don’t know if I was clinically depressed, but I felt as sad as I’ve ever felt in the most draining of ways. Learning how to maintain a progressive train of thought was crucial. Overthinking is a curse of mine, so I needed to learn to control my state of mind. Thinking in terms of solutions rather than problems has helped me immensely. Hyperfocusing on the obstacles in front of us will make it much easier to hit one eventually. However, training your mind to look at challenges progressively is as much a skill as practicing music or a sport. It’s a lifetime endeavor of building resilience to our challenges which must happen with the support of others. I had to learn to talk about my problems; my family helped me realize its importance. None of us can go through this alone; we need to be as observant as possible of the ones we care about. Those like my Uncle Jay may appear as happy as ever to someone who isn’t looking deeply enough. Many of us oddly withhold our problems or feelings until they’re replaced. Being kind and positively impacting someone’s day should be everyone’s priority; lending a hand to help or an ear to listen can help combat our inner critics.

The greatest accomplishments come when we support each other, and the most hindering challenges are overcome when we uplift one another. When natural disasters strike, people band together and solve problems with remarkable haste considering their extreme personal loss. The focus quickly shifts from this loss to community-wide solutions that can be implemented swiftly. This team-oriented mindset is crucial because a cohesive group can accomplish much more than an individual. Football, rugby, and my career have taught me the behavioral necessities that team players must possess. In sports, the team should always come before any one player. Individual statistics and accomplishments are trivial when compared to the purpose of these accomplishments; to win the game for the team’s sake and reach the group’s goals. Hard work and collaborative effort are pivotal and become more easily obtainable when practicing selflessness. In high school, the mantra for our football team was “2014…All In!”. It was a testament to personal sacrifice and the privilege we all felt to play for Wyoming Area. It symbolized our commitment to the team and its priority over our needs. We also harnessed our distinctive strengths and made each other better every day. I consistently challenge myself to do this with my coworkers and friends. I enjoy training my coworkers because it involves practicing these same traits, and I’ve trained in almost all my occupations. I’m always mindful of the trainee’s needs and remain selfless throughout. It’s also important to be observant of each trainee’s strengths. These strengths can only be allowed to develop when realized, and awareness of this should be prioritized. It’s challenging to help someone reach their potential without thoroughly understanding them. This is why kindness and communication are the backdrop to aiding personal growth. Even if no growth ensues, being kind and complimentary can change someone’s bad day into a good one. One would have effectively changed the world in doing so. It’s hard to see the strengths and beauty of others when fixating on ourselves. It’s irrelevant whether this fixation is pompous or deferential. A perspective dominated by how we view ourselves is akin to a “close-up” photo, with others trapped in the background. They become completely invisible and ignored instead of being appreciated and allowed to develop. Selflessness is the foundation for mutual respect and should be a much more common quality. It allows everyone to utilize their unique strengths and for the group to progress as the individuals do. Respecting our differences is an ethical responsibility and the driving force for progress.