My whole life I was told by those I respected that mental illness “wasn’t a legitimate health concern.” I believed it and judged those who claimed to have it… that is until I experienced it for myself. I dealt with separation anxiety from about the ages of 5-15 (on and off), which manifested itself through fear, panic, and homesickness, but I would’ve never called myself “depressed,” “anxious,” or “mentally ill.” When I was 19, that all changed. I experienced a traumatic event so severe that it left my emotional skeleton fractured beyond repair (so I thought). Soul-crushing depression. Spine-numbing anxiety. Suicidal ideation. Hourly panic attacks. Dozens of medications. Bi-weekly therapy visits. I felt judged, numb, alone, and like a failure. I wondered what my future would look like. What would my purpose in life be? I was at the brink of giving up when I met a man who changed the course of my life – Dr. Richard Ferre, my psychiatrist. He introduced me to the brain – its majesty and potential. He taught me about mental health, its importance, and fragility. He saved my life. After four years of meeting with and learning from him, I found myself again – not the ‘me’ I was at 19… someone different. Someone better. Someone changed. From then on it became my life dream to become a psychiatrist. Whether through therapy or medication it is my life mission to strengthen and lift those who are in such pain that they feel the only option is ending their lives. It’s through this scholarship that I know I can reach this goal… completing my undergraduate degree that can give me the tools, education, and resources to pursue a medical degree and be the “Dr. Ferre” in other people’s lives.

Ralph Waldo Emerson once penned the phrase, "Great men are they who see that spiritual is stronger than material force, that thoughts rule the world." To create a long, healthy life, one must devote time and energy towards developing worthwhile, virtuous, and motivating thoughts. Everything begins in the mind. Any success or failure we've ever had the chance to experience in life came in response to our thoughts and their effects on our actions. To take care of our minds, we need to feed them, nurture them, and care for them. We do this through the foods we eat, the supplements we take, the exercise we engage in, and the thoughts we think. Are we eating enough fruits and veggies (or any at all)? Are we taking a multivitamin? Are we drinking half of our body weight in ounces of water a day? Are we taking supplements that have been shown to be natural mood enhancers like probiotics, saffron, curcumin, fish oil, and the like? Are we taking time to move our bodies in a way that elevates our heart rate for 20 minutes a day? Are we being kind to ourselves, encouraging ourselves, and forgiving ourselves when we make mistakes? All of these examples are vital to creating a long, healthy life, and I truly believe if we engage in them on a daily basis, we will be extraordinarily happier, fulfilled, and satisfied with the quality and quantity of our lives.

I believe the meaning of life is to try and alleviate as much suffering in the world as possible. In my opinion, suffering arises when a problem or challenge becomes internalized by an individual and they start to worry about themselves. If this is the case, one can END suffering. That is what I believe the meaning of life is -- even if it's with just one person. We've all heard stories of someone who changed one person's life with a smile, kind word, gesture, hug, conversation, apology, job offer, piece of advice, etc. What we don't hear as frequently is the life that that particular individual changed after their own life was affected. In my own personal circle of influence, I do my best to end and alleviate as much suffering as I can. Whether that's through my life coaching in which I help my clients increase their mental wellness, improve their scholastic/professional performance, and promote positivity, or through my two books that have been published in which I vulnerably share my own struggles and challenges in the hopes of inspiring others, or whether it comes through my role as a husband and father in which I have the opportunity to love, show compassion towards, and help those I care about most. Those are all opportunities for me to live out what I believe to be the purpose and meaning of life, and I won't stop working on that until I leave this life.

I have struggled with mental illness (anxiety, suicidal thoughts, depression, etc) in my life since the age of five. At my lowest point, I saw a psychiatrist for four years who saved me and helped me heal. I want to do the same for someone else. My goal in receiving this scholarship is to finish my undergrad degree and apply to medical school. I've been working full-time for four years, having stopped college before my junior year when an internship turned into a job offer. I'm resigning from my job in Dec 2022 with a wife, two-year-old daughter, baby on the way, house mortgage, and two-car payments to pursue my dream of becoming a doctor. Going all-in on pursuing what I believe to be my life purpose and mission. No, I won't "cure" mental illness... but, I won't stop until everyone that I've had the opportunity to meet knows they are loved, cared for, and understood. Being awarded this scholarship will help alleviate the burden of my finances that will be present as I start school again, even if it simply pays for half of our monthly mortgage... I'd be grateful for your consideration.

My whole life I was told by those I respected that mental illness “wasn’t a legitimate health concern.” I believed it and judged those who claimed to have it… that is until I experienced it for myself. I dealt with separation anxiety from about the ages of 5-15 (on and off), which manifested itself through fear, panic, and homesickness, but I would’ve never called myself “depressed,” “anxious,” or “mentally ill.” When I was 19, that all changed. I experienced a traumatic event so severe that it left my emotional skeleton fractured beyond repair (so I thought). Soul-crushing depression. Spine-numbing anxiety. Suicidal ideation. Hourly panic attacks. Dozens of medications. Bi-weekly therapy visits. I felt judged, numb, alone, and like a failure. I wondered what my future would look like. What would my purpose in life be? I was at the brink of giving up when I met a man who changed the course of my life – Dr. Richard Ferre, my psychiatrist. He introduced me to the brain – its majesty and potential. He taught me about mental health, its importance, and fragility. He saved my life. After four years of meeting with and learning from him, I found myself again – not the ‘me’ I was at 19… someone different. Someone better. Someone changed. From then on it became my life dream to become a psychiatrist. Whether through therapy or medication it is my life mission to strengthen and lift those who are in such pain that they feel the only option is ending their lives. It’s through this scholarship that I know I can reach this goal… completing my undergraduate degree that can give me the tools, education, and resources to pursue a medical degree and be the “Dr. Ferre” in other people’s lives.

My whole life I was told by those I respected that mental illness “wasn’t a legitimate health concern.” I believed it and judged those who claimed to have it… that is until I experienced it for myself. I dealt with separation anxiety from about the ages of 5-15 (on and off), which manifested itself through fear, panic, and homesickness, but I would’ve never called myself “depressed,” “anxious,” or “mentally ill.” When I was 19, that all changed. I experienced a traumatic event so severe that it left my emotional skeleton fractured beyond repair (so I thought). Soul-crushing depression. Spine-numbing anxiety. Suicidal ideation. Hourly panic attacks. Dozens of medications. Bi-weekly therapy visits. I felt judged, numb, alone, and like a failure. I wondered what my future would look like. What would my purpose in life be? I was at the brink of giving up when I met a man who changed the course of my life – Dr. Richard Ferre, my psychiatrist. He introduced me to the brain – its majesty and potential. He taught me about mental health, its importance, and fragility. He saved my life. After four years of meeting with and learning from him, I found myself again – not the ‘me’ I was at 19… someone different. Someone better. Someone changed. From then on it became my life dream to become a psychiatrist. Whether through therapy or medication it is my life mission to strengthen and lift those who are in such pain that they feel the only option is ending their lives. It’s through this scholarship that I know I can reach this goal… completing my undergraduate degree that can give me the tools, education, and resources to pursue a medical degree and be the “Dr. Ferre” in other people’s lives.

My whole life I was told by those I respected (teachers, leaders, parents, etc) that mental illness “was all in your head,” and “wasn’t a legitimate health concern.” I believed it and judged those who claimed to have it… that is until I experienced it for myself. I dealt with separation anxiety from about the ages of 5-15 (on and off), which manifested itself through fear, panic, and homesickness, but I would’ve never called myself “depressed,” “anxious,” or “mentally ill.” When I was 19, that all changed. I experienced a traumatic event so severe that it left my emotional skeleton fractured beyond repair (so I thought). It drove me deep into the abyss of mental and emotional despair. Soul-crushing depression. Spine-numbing anxiety. Suicidal ideation. Hourly panic attacks. Dozens of medications. Bi-weekly therapy visits. I felt judged, numb, alone, and like a failure. I wondered what my future would look like. What would my purpose in life be? I was at the brink of giving up when I met a man who changed the course, and trajectory of my life – Dr. Richard Ferre, my psychiatrist. As I mentioned, I had always judged those with mental or emotional challenges to not be “tough enough” or who just needed to “suck it up.” When I was told I needed to see a psychiatrist for my ailing health, I was not excited. “Only crazy people see these kinds of doctors,” I thought to myself. Well, life has a way of introducing us to our true selves by way of adversity and struggle, and meeting Dr. Ferre was one of the single most transformative moments of my life. A gentile, quiet, somewhat awkward man in his 60s, he and I developed a friendship that is still strong to this day. He introduced me to the brain – its majesty and potential. He taught me about mental health, its importance, and fragility. He changed my paradigm on mental and emotional disorders, that regardless of age, geography, or circumstance, they can sneak up on anyone and change the course of their lives forever. He opened my eyes to the significance of therapy, meditation, and when necessary, medication to heal and restore balance to one’s mental and emotional well-being. He saved my life. After four years of meeting with and learning from him, I found myself again – not the ‘me’ I was at 19… someone different. Someone better. Someone changed. From then on it became my life goal to become a psychiatrist and help those struggling with mental or emotional ailments. Whether through therapy, medication, or any other type of treatment, it is my life mission to strengthen and lift those who are in such deep pain that they feel the only option is ending their lives. Mental illness is still something that challenges me every day, but I wouldn’t want my life any other way… it’s instilled in me compassion and empathy towards others I wouldn’t have learned any other way. It’s forged my character. It’s opened my eyes to my purpose. It’s through this scholarship that I know I can reach this goal… completing my undergraduate degree from a university that can give me the tools, education, and resources to pursue a medical degree and be the “Dr. Ferre” in other people’s lives.

Winston Churchill once said, "A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty." Growing up, I always thought optimism meant not even recognizing negativity in life. Even if that was what reality indicated. If I failed a test, I wouldn't even think about it again. "I'll just do better next time," I would say. If I lost a basketball game, I wouldn't even consider what I could've done to contribute to that result. "Just focus on the next one, Andrew". As I matured, I realized that this mindset was hurting me more than helping me. I wasn't getting better at the things I was failing at... I was just transitioning to the next test, game, event, etc. Of course, being positive and optimistic about our circumstances is important, but it does a great disservice to us when we ignore reality or learning from our mistakes in the process. To me, optimism doesn't exist in spite of our challenges, but because of them. It's a mindset. It's a paradigm shift. It creates for us a faith and hope that regardless of how things turn out for us, we can choose to look forward. Yes, we fail. Yes, we fall. Yes, we experience heartache, pain, and disappointment. AND YES -- we can choose to believe that whatever comes our way is better than what has gone before us! That is the true spirit of optimism.

Waiting is hard, but waiting is essential to find true happiness and fulfillment in life. We live in a world where instant satisfaction is the "norm." We no longer find fulfillment in taking time to think through big decisions, allow ourselves to be bored, or not have our smartphones in front of us at all times. Being patient is important to be because it reveals within myself a maturity and grace I wouldn't have otherwise. In the 1960s, a professor at Stanford University began a modest experiment testing the willpower of four-year-old children. He placed before them a large marshmallow and then told them they could eat it right away or, if they waited for 15 minutes, they could have two marshmallows. He then left the children alone and watched what happened behind a two-way mirror. Some of the children ate the marshmallow immediately; some could wait only a few minutes before giving in to temptation. Only 30 percent were able to wait. It was a mildly interesting experiment, and the professor moved on to other areas of research, for, in his own words, “there are only so many things you can do with kids trying not to eat marshmallows.” But as time went on, he kept track of the children and began to notice an interesting correlation: the children who could not wait struggled later in life and had more behavioral problems, while those who waited tended to be more positive and better motivated, have higher grades and incomes, and have healthier relationships. What started as a simple experiment with children and marshmallows became a landmark study suggesting that the ability to wait—to be patient—was a key character trait that might predict later success in life.

"Kindness is the essence of a superior life." This is the sentence that I have lived my life by ever since I was 16 years old. It's no secret that the world is in commotion right now. Wars, rumors of wars, pandemics, illnesses, hate, injustice, fighting, etc... it's hard to find a sense of "kindness." From the ages of 12-16, I was the victim of extreme bullying, both in-person and cyber. I was beaten up, shot in the head with bb guns, verbally abused, told that the world would be a better place without me, and other things. I considered ending my life, but was saved through powers outside of myself. I remember after one particularly hard day of school, I got home, opened up the front door and walked upstairs to my bathroom. I dropped my bag on the ground, looked at myself in the mirror, and says these words to myself, "I will always try to be kind to other people.... because I never want someone to feel the way I feel." That has been my mantra for living ever since, I will continue to live by it as long as my life goes on. Whether that means smiling at someone on the street, keeping the door open for the person behind you, letting in that driver on the freeway who wants to get into your lane, offering your spouse or partner a word of encouragement, or anything else that builds capacity and resolve in the human spirit -- that is why I'm here. Kindness is not weakness. Kindness is not over-sensitivity. Kindness is not powerlessness. It is strength, wisdom, maturity, and hope in the future.

I grew up not knowing who my mother was until about the age of three. I'm the youngest of eight children, and when I was born my mother was diagnosed with severe postpartum depression. This created a difficult challenge in her life to manage her mental health, be a wife, and be a mother to her eight children. My sister who is 15 years older than me did the brunt of taking care of me for the first couple of years of my life. She fed me, changed me, played with me, and helped manage whatever my mom couldn't because of her health problems. Things got better throughout my childhood as my mother's health improved from the time I was four to when I was 11. I remember her getting me up in the morning with some scrambled eggs, having packed me a lunch for school, and saying a prayer with me before the bus came. I remember her reading scripture to me before bed. She was my best pal. Then, right after I turned 12, her mental health tanked. At this same time, I started experiencing crippling separation anxiety, causing me extreme panic and fear whenever I left my mom for church, scouts, school, or just playing around the neighborhood. I ended up being "homeschooled" in 7th-9th grade because of this anxiety. I write "homeschooled" with the quotation marks because one reading that would assume I had a teacher... most likely my mom. This wasn't the case. Because my mom had depression, it was hard for her to leave her room most days, and I was left to "fend for myself" academically while she tried to survive. I did the best I could but ended up failing a lot of my classes during those three years in school. I was angry at my mom and felt like she had abandoned me when I needed her most. I couldn't understand why she would put me in a situation where I couldn't succeed. I didn't speak with her much as I went throughout high school. As I matured, grew out of the separation anxiety, and started to learn more about myself, I saw my mom's struggles more compassionately and empathetically. At the age of 19, I experienced clinical depression and generalized anxiety disorder for the first time in my life, and it crushed me. I felt suicidal, panicky, scared, and hopeless. I didn't want to leave my room, I didn't have any motivation, and I felt like my life lacked complete purpose. It was during this transformational personal challenge that I called my mom one day and went over to her house. We sat down and had a very intimate conversation. I told her I didn't feel like she was there for me growing up. I told her how much that hurt me and affected my ability to have self-confidence. I then told her about my own challenges with mental health. As we both looked into each other's eyes, I told my mom how much I loved her, cared for her, and understood her inability to care for me the way she had hoped. She apologized for not being there for me and for putting me in a compromised situation in my youth. We hugged, cried, and vowed from that day forward we would be there for each other, through thick and thin. I love my mom, and to this day she's my best friend. She has inspired me to pursue a medical degree and help those with psychiatric problems so that they can live happier, healthier, and more hopeful lives.

My whole life I was told by those I respected (teachers, leaders, parents, etc) that mental illness “was all in your head,” and “wasn’t a legitimate health concern.” I believed it and judged those who claimed to have it… that is, until I experienced it for myself. I dealt with separation anxiety from about the ages of 5-15 (on and off), which manifested itself through fear, panic, and homesickness, but I would’ve never called myself “depressed,” “anxious,” or “mentally ill.” When I was 19, that all changed. I experienced a traumatic event so severe that it left my emotional skeleton fractured beyond repair (so I thought). It drove me deep into the abyss of mental and emotional despair. Soul-crushing depression. Spine-numbing anxiety. Suicidal ideation. Hourly panic attacks. Dozens of medications. Bi-weekly therapy visits. I felt judged, numb, alone, and like a failure. I wondered what my future would look like. What would my purpose in life be? I was at the brink of giving up when I met a man who changed the course, and trajectory of my life – Dr. Richard Ferre, my psychiatrist. As I mentioned, I had always judged those with mental or emotional challenges to not be “tough enough” or who just needed to “suck it up.” When I was told I needed to see a psychiatrist for my ailing health, I was not excited. “Only crazy people see these kinds of doctors,” I thought to myself. Well, life has a way of introducing us to our true selves by way of adversity and struggle, and meeting Dr. Ferre was one of the single most transformative moments of my life. A gentile, quiet, somewhat awkward man in his 60s, he and I developed a friendship that is still strong to this day. He introduced me to the brain – its majesty and potential. He taught me about mental health, its importance, and fragility. He changed my paradigm on mental and emotional disorders, that regardless of age, geography, or circumstance, they can sneak up on anyone and change the course of their lives forever. He opened my eyes to the significance of therapy, meditation, and when necessary, medication to heal and restore balance to one’s mental and emotional well-being. He saved my life. After four years of meeting with and learning from him, I found myself again – not the ‘me’ I was at 19… someone different. Someone better. Someone changed. From then on it became my life goal to become a psychiatrist and help those struggling with mental or emotional ailments. Whether through therapy, medication, or any other type of treatment, it is my life mission to strengthen and lift those who are in such deep pain that they feel the only option is ending their lives. My goal in receiving this is to finish my undergrad degree and apply to medical school. I've been working full-time for four years, having stopped college before my junior year when an internship turned into a job offer. I'm resigning from my job in Dec 2022 with a wife, two-year-old daughter, baby on the way, house mortgage, and two-car payments to pursue my dream of becoming a doctor. Going all in!

Throughout my own life, I've always been taught to value the process of human life. Growing up in a passionately believing Christian family, life didn't begin at birth, it began at conception. Didn't matter if you were having unsafe sex and got someone pregnant, or were trying to get pregnant for years with the hopes of starting a family -- facts are facts. To me, it's inconceivable that anyone in their right mind could try to logically defend the assumption that because human life is incapable of defending themselves or speaking out for themselves (ie. human in utero), they must not be a human capable of living. Who gave them permission to play God and terminate a life before it even had the chance to breathe, live, grow, fall, rise, cook, eat, play, or sing? The moment my pro-life stance went from "I believe it because I've been taught it" to "I believe it because I've experienced it for myself" came when my first child was born. My wife and I had been trying to start a family for a few years, but with no luck. Every time the pregnancy test would come back negative, our hearts sank a little bit deeper within our chests. We didn't have any medical explanation for why my wife couldn't get pregnant. We were both "healthy and strong." Then, in May of 2019, my wife took another pregnancy test, this time with a very different outcome -- POSITIVE. We both embraced and cried as our hopes and prayers were answered. A little angel was going to come down to our family. On January 12th, 2020, my wife gave birth to our first daughter. I watched, supported, and did my best to help the nurses with anything they needed. As I saw Emersyn come out, my heart melted and tears streamed down my cheeks. Prayers were answered, and a life that we had created was now (officially) out of the womb. That being said, I knew without a doubt, that if for whatever reason the pregnancy was terminated early due to health concerns for my wife or the child, or through fear -- we would be ending a life. Life doesn't begin at birth. It began as soon as the sperm fertilizes the egg, and anyone who disagrees with that is ignoring the simple fact of data-driven, God-given, research. “Human life begins at fertilization, the process during which a male gamete or sperm unites with a female gamete or oocyte to form a single cell called a zygote. This highly specialized, totipotent cell marked the beginning of each of us as a unique individual.” Keith L. Moore, The Developing Human: Clinically Oriented Embryology, 7th edition. Philadelphia, PA: Saunders, 2003. pp. 16, 2. I am finishing my undergraduate degree in December of 2024 and then applying to medical school so that I can continue to encourage and influence others to value and defend the basis of life, in whatever form that may be.

I got married relatively young... at the age of 22. I had found the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and eventually start a family with. I was just about to go into my junior year at college when I landed an internship at a leadership development firm in Salt Lake City, UT. I worked my you-know-what off for three months and earned a full-time job offer starting in October of 2018. Now, here came the big question. Do I work full-time and stay in school, or do I drop out of school and work full-time? My thinking was this, "I am going to college to get a full-time job, so why keep going to school when I got an offer?" I dropped out and started working. Two years later our first child was born -- a beautiful little girl. She changed our lives. She changed my life. My #1 priority turned from taking care of myself and my wife to making sure I gave this precious one the best possible life I could. Two years after she was born I started having little feelings here and there that I should go back to school, earn an undergraduate degree, and apply to medical school... I know, MAJOR PLOT TWIST. The thing is, ever since I was 19 years old, I wanted to be a psychiatrist. I have dealt with mental health challenges from the age of 5 to this very day, and I've always had a great deal of empathy and compassion for those who struggle with similar battles unseen by the outside world. That being said, the timing never felt right, and once I got offered my full-time job in the business world, I assumed that the medical dream was now over and the path for me was to work an 8-5 job for the next 30 years and do my very best to provide for my family. In November of 2021, my family and I went to Oklahoma to see my brother and his family for Thanksgiving. He's currently doing his medical residency right now in preparation to become a radiologist. We talked late into the night about med school, tests, boards, internships, potential debt, and the rest. The more we talked, the more it felt right... I needed to resign from my full-time job (with a house mortgage, two car payments, a wife, two-year-old daughter, and baby on the way), and go ALL IN on my dream. So, that is why I am applying for this scholarship. I am hoping that with this money, I can pursue my undergraduate degree with less financial stress, apply to medical school, and use my higher education to bless the lives of many individuals who feel like the only reasonable way to be mentally pain-free is to end their lives. I know the feeling, and I will do everything it takes to help them feel safe, understood, and healthy.

1. I deserve this scholarship because in the words of Michael Scott from The Office, "I. Declare. BANKRUPTCY!" No, I haven't declared bankruptcy, but you asked for wrong answers only and I believe that if I were to graduate from college and med school with over half a million dollars in student loan debt, I may declare it after all! 2. I want to be in the witness protection program and go by the name Sir Rupert Everton. I would be a shipping merchant who raises fancy dogs and sells them to peanut farmers in Georgia. Sounds good to me! 3. I had a perfect 4.0 GPA in high school until I took driver's ed at the beginning of my senior year. Either the teacher didn't like me for some reason I can't recall, or he didn't appreciate the fact that I forgot my #2 pencil for the driving final and had to go around asking different students in the class if I could borrow theirs. Either way, he gave me an A-, ruining my perfect record.. but that's ok, I ended up passing my real driver's test on the first try!

My whole life I was told by those I respected (teachers, leaders, parents, etc) that mental illness “was all in your head,” and “wasn’t a legitimate health concern.” I believed it and judged those who claimed to have it… that is until I experienced it for myself. I dealt with separation anxiety from about the ages of 5-15 (on and off), which manifested itself through fear, panic, and homesickness, but I would’ve never called myself “depressed,” “anxious,” or “mentally ill.” When I was 19, that all changed. I experienced a traumatic event so severe that it left my emotional skeleton fractured beyond repair (so I thought). It drove me deep into the abyss of mental and emotional despair. Soul-crushing depression. Spine-numbing anxiety. Suicidal ideation. Hourly panic attacks. Dozens of medications. Bi-weekly therapy visits. I felt judged, numb, alone, and like a failure. I wondered what my future would look like. What would my purpose in life be? I was at the brink of giving up when I met a man who changed the course, and trajectory of my life – Dr. Richard Ferre, my psychiatrist. As I mentioned, I had always judged those with mental or emotional challenges to not be “tough enough” or who just needed to “suck it up.” When I was told I needed to see a psychiatrist for my ailing health, I was not excited. “Only crazy people see these kinds of doctors,” I thought to myself. Well, life has a way of introducing us to our true selves by way of adversity and struggle, and meeting Dr. Ferre was one of the single most transformative moments of my life. A gentile, quiet, somewhat awkward man in his 60s, he and I developed a friendship that is still strong to this day. He introduced me to the brain – its majesty and potential. He taught me about mental health, its importance, and fragility. He changed my paradigm on mental and emotional disorders, that regardless of age, geography, or circumstance, they can sneak up on anyone and change the course of their lives forever. He opened my eyes to the significance of therapy, meditation, and when necessary, medication to heal and restore balance to one’s mental and emotional well-being. He saved my life. After four years of meeting with and learning from him, I found myself again – not the ‘me’ I was at 19… someone different. Someone better. Someone changed. From then on it became my life goal to become a psychiatrist and help those struggling with mental or emotional ailments. Whether through therapy, medication, or any other type of treatment, it is my life mission to strengthen and lift those who are in such deep pain that they feel the only option is ending their lives. Mental illness is still something that challenges me every day, but I wouldn’t want my life any other way… it’s instilled in me compassion and empathy towards others I wouldn’t have learned any other way. It’s forged my character. It’s opened my eyes to my purpose. It’s through this scholarship that I know I can reach this goal… completing my undergraduate degree from a university that can give me the tools, education, and resources to pursue a medical degree and be the “Dr. Ferre” in other people’s lives.

My whole life I was told by those I respected (teachers, leaders, parents, etc) that mental illness “was all in your head,” and “wasn’t a legitimate health concern.” I believed it and judged those who claimed to have it… that is until I experienced it for myself. I dealt with separation anxiety from about the ages of 5-15 (on and off), which manifested itself through fear, panic, and homesickness, but I would’ve never called myself “depressed,” “anxious,” or “mentally ill.” When I was 19, that all changed. I experienced a traumatic event so severe that it left my emotional skeleton fractured beyond repair (so I thought). It drove me deep into the abyss of mental and emotional despair. Soul-crushing depression. Spine-numbing anxiety. Suicidal ideation. Hourly panic attacks. Dozens of medications. Bi-weekly therapy visits. I felt judged, numb, alone, and like a failure. I wondered what my future would look like. What would my purpose in life be? I was at the brink of giving up when I met a man who changed the course, and trajectory of my life – Dr. Richard Ferre, my psychiatrist. As I mentioned, I had always judged those with mental or emotional challenges to not be “tough enough” or who just needed to “suck it up.” When I was told I needed to see a psychiatrist for my ailing health, I was not excited. “Only crazy people see these kinds of doctors,” I thought to myself. Well, life has a way of introducing us to our true selves by way of adversity and struggle, and meeting Dr. Ferre was one of the single most transformative moments of my life. A gentile, quiet, somewhat awkward man in his 60s, he and I developed a friendship that is still strong to this day. He introduced me to the brain – its majesty and potential. He taught me about mental health, its importance, and fragility. He changed my paradigm on mental and emotional disorders, that regardless of age, geography, or circumstance, they can sneak up on anyone and change the course of their lives forever. He opened my eyes to the significance of therapy, meditation, and when necessary, medication to heal and restore balance to one’s mental and emotional well-being. He saved my life. After four years of meeting with and learning from him, I found myself again – not the ‘me’ I was at 19… someone different. Someone better. Someone changed. From then on it became my life goal to become a psychiatrist and help those struggling with mental or emotional ailments. Whether through therapy, medication, or any other type of treatment, it is my life mission to strengthen and lift those who are in such deep pain that they feel the only option is ending their lives. Mental illness is still something that challenges me every day, but I wouldn’t want my life any other way… it’s instilled in me compassion and empathy towards others I wouldn’t have learned any other way. It’s forged my character. It’s opened my eyes to my purpose. It’s through receiving this scholarship that I know I can reach this goal… completing my undergraduate degree from a university that can give me the tools, education, and resources to pursue a medical degree and be the “Dr. Ferre” in other people’s lives.

My whole life I was told by those I respected (teachers, leaders, parents, etc) that mental illness “was all in your head,” and “wasn’t a legitimate health concern.” I believed it and judged those who claimed to have it… that is until I experienced it for myself. I dealt with separation anxiety from about the ages of 5-15 (on and off), which manifested itself through fear, panic, and homesickness, but I would’ve never called myself “depressed,” “anxious,” or “mentally ill.” When I was 19, that all changed. I experienced a traumatic event so severe that it left my emotional skeleton fractured beyond repair (so I thought). It drove me deep into the abyss of mental and emotional despair. Soul-crushing depression. Spine-numbing anxiety. Suicidal ideation. Hourly panic attacks. Dozens of medications. Bi-weekly therapy visits. I felt judged, numb, alone, and like a failure. I wondered what my future would look like. What would my purpose in life be? I was at the brink of giving up when I met a man who changed the course, and trajectory of my life – Dr. Richard Ferre, my psychiatrist. As I mentioned, I had always judged those with mental or emotional challenges to not be “tough enough” or who just needed to “suck it up.” When I was told I needed to see a psychiatrist for my ailing health, I was not excited. “Only crazy people see these kinds of doctors,” I thought to myself. Well, life has a way of introducing us to our true selves by way of adversity and struggle, and meeting Dr. Ferre was one of the single most transformative moments of my life. A gentile, quiet, somewhat awkward man in his 60s, he and I developed a friendship that is still strong to this day. He introduced me to the brain – its majesty and potential. He taught me about mental health, its importance, and fragility. He changed my paradigm on mental and emotional disorders, that regardless of age, geography, or circumstance, they can sneak up on anyone and change the course of their lives forever. He opened my eyes to the significance of therapy, meditation, and when necessary, medication to heal and restore balance to one’s mental and emotional well-being. He saved my life. After four years of meeting with and learning from him, I found myself again – not the ‘me’ I was at 19… someone different. Someone better. Someone changed. From then on it became my life goal to become a psychiatrist and help those struggling with mental or emotional ailments. Whether through therapy, medication, or any other type of treatment, it is my life mission to strengthen and lift those who are in such deep pain that they feel the only option is ending their lives. Mental illness is still something that challenges me every day, but I wouldn’t want my life any other way… it’s instilled in me compassion and empathy towards others I wouldn’t have learned any other way. It’s forged my character. It’s opened my eyes to my purpose. It’s through this scholarship that I know I can reach this goal… putting it towards completing my undergraduate degree at a university that can give me the tools, education, and resources to pursue a medical degree and be the “Dr. Ferre” in other people’s lives.

My whole life I was told by those I respected (teachers, leaders, parents, etc) that mental illness “was all in your head,” and “wasn’t a legitimate health concern.” I believed it and judged (harshly) those who claimed to have it… that is until I experienced it for myself. I dealt with separation anxiety from about the ages of 5-15 (on and off), which manifested itself through fear, panic, and homesickness, but I would’ve never called myself “depressed,” “anxious,” or “mentally ill.” When I was 19, that all changed. I experienced a traumatic event so severe that it left my emotional skeleton fractured beyond repair (so I thought). It drove me deep into the abyss of mental and emotional despair. Soul-crushing depression. Spine-numbing anxiety. Suicidal ideation. Hourly panic attacks. Dozens of medications. Bi-weekly therapy visits. I felt judged, numb, alone, and like a failure. I wondered what my future would look like. What would my purpose in life be? I was at the brink of giving up when I met a man who changed the course, and trajectory of my life – Dr. Richard Ferre, my psychiatrist. As I mentioned, I had always judged those with mental or emotional challenges to not be “tough enough” or who just needed to “suck it up.” When I was told I needed to see a psychiatrist for my ailing health, I was not excited. “Only crazy people see these kinds of doctors,” I thought to myself. Well, life has a way of introducing us to our true selves by way of adversity and struggle, and meeting Dr. Ferre was one of the single most transformative moments of my life. A gentile, quiet, somewhat awkward man in his 60s, he and I developed a friendship that is still strong to this day. He introduced me to the brain – its majesty and potential. He taught me about mental health, its importance, and fragility. He changed my paradigm on mental and emotional disorders, that regardless of age, geography, or circumstance, they can sneak up on anyone and change the course of their lives forever. He opened my eyes to the significance of therapy, meditation, and when necessary, medication to heal and restore balance to one’s mental and emotional well-being. He saved my life. After four years of meeting with and learning from him, I found myself again – not the ‘me’ I was at 19… someone different. Someone better. Someone changed. He taught me how to cultivate the characteristic of empathy, which I value above all others in my life. I no longer judge those who society may deem as "ill" or "crazy." I see them as individuals with great potential. From then on it became my life goal to become a psychiatrist and help those struggling with mental or emotional ailments. Whether through therapy, medication, or any other type of treatment, it is my mission to strengthen and lift those who are in such deep pain that they feel the only option is ending their lives. Mental illness is still something that challenges me every day, but I wouldn’t want my life any other way… it’s instilled in me the utmost empathy towards others that I wouldn’t have learned any other way. It’s forged my character. It’s opened my eyes to my purpose, and the purpose of those around me. It’s through receiving this scholarship and funding my life/schooling, that I know I can reach this goal… completing the undergraduate degree that can give me the tools, education, and resources to pursue a medical degree and be the “Dr. Ferre” in other people’s lives.