Although my journey through higher education, in no has been easy. Specifically being an Indigenous woman, as well as a first generation student having to navigate all the systems that specifically weren't designed for people like me. However, thinking about what being a first generation Indigenous student means to me, holds so much power and significance. I used to think going to college was just something that was expected of me from my mother. She pushed me hard through sports, school and overall life. Sometimes she even would push me a little too hard, but it wasn't until I got older that I truly began to understand why she pushed me to those limits. Now that I'm older, and have lived and learned a little bit more. I began to learn specifically why it was that these systems weren't built for us, why was it so difficult for someone like me just to better myself and have the same experiences as everyone else. My mother was a single mom, just trying to make ends meet within the system. The system of CPS, Indian Child welfare, and just overall life on an Indian reservation. My mother also struggled with AOD addiction and many mental health challenges. Challenges that eventually caused her to lose custody of me and my younger 4 siblings. During my teenage years I was so angry at the cards life had dealt me. I just wanted to be "normal" and didn't understand why my parents could love and take care of me properly. Now that I'm in the field of mental health, I now understand that those early childhood experiences didn't necessarily "happen for a reason", but happened so that when working in this field I am able to provide more support and guidance through a different lens. Being a first generation student, I am fortunate to have had the experiences, opportunities and resources that my mother, and the rest of the women in my lineage didn't get to have. Through life's challenges, I carry their wisdom, love and guidance with me. I do my best to take advantage of the opportunities higher education has given me. I hope to continue to learn and grow as an aspiring Indigenous Therapist, to be able to give back to Indigenous communities. I hope as I continue this journey, to be able to create more space for those who come from backgrounds similar to mine, or those who have stories like mine. I know my ancestors did what they could for me with what they had and knew at the time, but now it's up to me and other upcoming generations to rewrite the narrative and continue breaking cycles.

Unfortunately, my experience with substance abuse started at a very young age. My biological mother and father both struggled with alcohol abuse which then shortly started drug and substance abuse as well. My mother was a teen mom, she had me as 17 years old and dropped out of highschool to utilize her senior year to care for me. My father was an undocumented immigrant from Mexico. Him and my mother had met at a party and it seemed that that's all their relationship consisted of. The duration of their relationship was entirely impacted due to their alcohol and substance abuse which then led to physical abuse. Physical abuse that would soon be the cause of my father being deported and leaving my mother to take care of two children with little to no support. This only caused my mother to use even more and spiral into a deep depression. She was struggling to the point where me and my brother had to go live with our aunt, my mother sister. Which is essentially who raised us and who me and the rest of my siblings call aknulhá or mom (in oneida). Looking back on my childhood, and going through many years of therapy, learning and unlearning; I now know my parents were against so many odds just based on what they looked like and came from. My mother being Native and Indigenous to North American and my father being Indigneous from South America, I could only imagine how many generations of generational trauma that both my families have experienced whether they are aware of it or not. Both lineages were heavily impacted by colonization and now that I'm older, I can understand the impact of those histories and how that then causes issues like domestic violence, mental health disparities, and of course; substance/ alcohol abuse. Having these early on experiences, allowed me to view the world from an entirely different lens. I believe everyone should have access to proper care and resources regardless of their race, mental health/ substance abuse disorders, and/ or immigration status. Now that i'm in my Masters of Social Work program, I see so much of my lived experiences influencing the way I navigate this field. Although I don't know much of my biological father's side or the culture, I do my best to embrace myself within my biological mother and aknúlha's Indigenous teachings. Teaching that I not utilize and acknowledge/share within the westernized world of social work. Because, I believe Indigneous nations all over the world have the knowledge on what our bodies need mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Our communities have always known these practices and due to colonization it it now up to aspiring Indigneous therapists like myself, to lean back into these original ways of life. I believe every one is deserving to be cared for properly and that absolutely no one is illegal on stolen land. I hope to continue to spread awareness and utilize these teachings at the forefront of my future practice.

Looking back on my short 24 years of life, I have reflected on how many of my traumas had occurred in my life due to the lack of mental health services or even just general awareness. I grew up on a reservation just outside Green Bay WI, and although we were fortunate to have some resources as an Indigenous community, there unfortunately still is a negative stigma when addressing mental health. It wasn't until I left the reservation to pursue higher education, that I began to start addressing my own mental health. Throughout undergrad I had finally started intentional therapy and coming to terms with my depression and anxiety. While navigating my own mental health journey as I finished my bachelors degree, I shortly started a job within social work back home for my community. I started working as a child placement coordinator for our foster and kinship care homes on the reservation within our family services department. I didn't realize it at the time but this job would soon spark the beginning of what I think is my purpose here on earth. Throughout this job I worked with many youth and families and was brought back to my early years of being within the CPS system and in a kinship home with my Auntie. From my own lived experiences I was able to connect with the families I worked with deeper than I expected. Then that's when it all clicked for me, I wanted to be able to be a resource or a support to children and youth who grew up from backgrounds that resemble mine. This job allowed me to reflect on the years I spent as a child feeling alone or ashamed for being "too sensitive" or "having big feelings". It allowed me to look back on the times that I also felt ashamed for not living in a "typical" household with my mom and dad. Throughout my entire childhood I felt so alone thinking that no one else was experiencing the same thing. So for the rest of my youth I spent it being quiet and holding in my emotions. Working in this career for just shy of two years, made me realize how much more I want to be able to work within this field. To the extent of now working on my MSW to eventually be a licensed therapist. The work I do now is all to be able to give back to my community for all they did to make me who I am. My main goal is to be able to help others so that they don't have to struggle the way me and my family had to. Traditionally, we look out for the next seven generations and are taught to do/be better for those watching and those yet to come. I think the main way I will work towards making a difference is by re-venturing Indigneous practices and ideologies when it comes to mental health. I truly belive everything we need is here already, and sometimes we just have to reconnect to those teachings to guide us on our journeys. In a westernized society, I constantly am trying to Indigenize mental health by taking wisdom and knowledge from our traditional teachings to them be able to implement it into my own future practice.

Before first leaving my community to pursue my undergraduate degree, I never associated myself with someone who struggled or had mental health concerns. Although I experienced many early childhood traumas, I had always watered down my experiences because, at the end of the day, I had clothes on my back, food in my stomach, and a roof over my head. I considered myself privileged and lucky, and therefore, there was no way I would struggle with mental health, because there was nothing "wrong". However, those childhood traumas I was burying deeper and deeper as I grew older. Now looking back at these early experiences, I know I was very much in denial. My mom tried to keep me consistent with a therapist during my childhood and tried again during high school. I was in denial so much that all of her attempts failed. However, that all changed when I moved away from my community for the first time. The first time I was away from my support systems, I was hit with a harsh reality. Many things started to trigger me and cause me to spiral into episodes of depression. I finally had to conclude that there were definitely a lot of things I was in denial about and had to face. I took it upon myself to seek out a therapist utilizing the campus's mental health services. This was where I had a lot of breakthrough moments that started my mental health journey. Through navigating my own mental health journey through undergrad, post-grad, and now to the point where I want to pursue a career in the mental health field. As I moved through this journey, I soon realized how many more individuals had struggled with the same things I was struggling with. I realized how little no one talks about mental health, especially within the Indigneous community. We see the disparities of mental health affecting our communities through domestic violence, substance abuse, culture, and language loss, etc. As a young Indigneous woman on my own mental health journey on the reservation, I slowly began to learn about injustices within systems, how colonization and white supremacy still affect our communities, even amongst our own community members. Which then led to discovering how culture and community identity help improve mental health within Indigneous peoples. Although my community lacked mental health and psychiatric resources, I was fortunate to have a community rich in culture and our traditions. I strongly believe these components were protective factors for my overall well-being. Although I heavily struggled, I think I would've struggled even more if I didn't have that direct connection to my community and identity. I now know so many Indigneous communities and people don't have that luxury of access to their culture and traditions the way I did. Therefore, this has led me to pursue a career within this field. Specifically focusing on Indigneous populations and other BIPOC communities. I think my own experiences really shaped my future career path. Through my journey, I just hope to be able to help others so that children, youth, and families don't have to struggle in the dark like my family and I did. I always keep our traditional teachings at the forefront of my work, which is to find ways to help and better the next seven generations.

Before first leaving my community to pursue my undergraduate degree, I never associated myself with someone who struggled or had mental health concerns. Although I experienced many early childhood traumas, I had always watered down my experiences because, at the end of the day, I had clothes on my back, food in my stomach, and a roof over my head. I considered myself privileged and lucky, and therefore, there was no way I would struggle with mental health, because there was nothing "wrong". However, those childhood traumas I was burying deeper and deeper as I grew older. Now looking back at these early experiences, I know I was very much in denial. My mom tried to keep me consistent with a therapist during my childhood and tried again during high school. I was in denial so much that all of her attempts failed. However, that all changed when I moved away from my community for the first time. The first time I was away from my support systems, I was hit with a harsh reality. Many things started to trigger me and cause me to spiral into episodes of depression. I finally had to conclude that there were definitely a lot of things I was in denial about and had to face. I took it upon myself to seek out a therapist utilizing the campus's mental health services. This was where I had a lot of breakthrough moments that started my mental health journey. Through navigating my own mental health journey through undergrad, post-grad, and now to the point where I want to pursue a career in the mental health field. As I moved through this journey, I soon realized how many more individuals had struggled with the same things I was struggling with. I realized how little no one talks about mental health, especially within the Indigneous community. We see the disparities of mental health affecting our communities through domestic violence, substance abuse, culture, and language loss, etc. As a young Indigneous woman on my own mental health journey on the reservation, I slowly began to learn about injustices within systems, how colonization and white supremacy still affect our communities, even amongst our own community members. Which then led to discovering how culture and community identity help improve mental health within Indigneous peoples. Although my community lacked mental health and psychiatric resources, I was fortunate to have a community rich in culture and our traditions. I strongly believe these components were protective factors for my overall well-being. Although I heavily struggled, I think I would've struggled even more if I didn't have that direct connection to my community and identity. I now know so many Indigneous communities and people don't have that luxury of access to their culture and traditions the way I did. Therefore, this has then led me to pursue a career within this field. Specifically focusing on Indigneous populations and other BIPOC communities. I think my own experiences really shaped my future career path. Through my journey, I just hope to be able to help others so that children, youth, and families don't have to struggle in the dark like my family and I did. I always keep our traditional teachings at the forefront of my work, which is to find ways to help and better the next seven generations.

A meaningful relationship to me is with my mom. I think our relationship is even more special because she stepped up to play that role. She chose to be that caretaker when my biological mom could no longer take care of me due to DV, alcohol, and substance abuse. My mom not only stepped up for me but also for my four younger brothers. Because of my mom's dedication to raising us with the best she could, she remained a single-parent household raising 5 of us, along with my cousins from time to time. My mom and my biological mom are 2 of 4 sisters. Which came along with their kids and the ongoing effects of generational trauma. My mom lived deep on the reservation with her sisters, my grandma, and great-grandma. My mom would tell me stories of how my grandmas acholoism affected her childhood. So I learned from a very young age about the demons my family members faced. My mom grew up relying on community support outside of our immediate family. Because of this, she was able to travel, learn our ceremonies, language, and cultural teachings. This gave my mom a whole different perspective when it came to the life she could have had for herself versus the life she came from. This definitely affected how she ended up raising my siblings and me. With that being said, my mom raised us in a strictly alcohol and drug-free household, which then created tension between our small family and our family members who all used. Seeing my mom set boundaries just to protect us, even if it cost her a relationship with them, was very empowering to see growing up. My mom and I always viewed ourselves as the black sheep of the family. Simply for wanting a healthy life for our family, even though we both grew up in chaos. Our isolation from the rest of our family only made our relationship stronger. Not to mention, it also allowed us to make strong, meaningful connections with others within our community. Through this, I have obtained a countless number of chosen cousins, aunties, uncles, and grandparents. As I started working through higher education, which led me to move away from the family I had created, I started to really see the importance of the connections we create outside of where we grew up. Navigating undergrad amongst other native students, I soon obtained a sisterhood with my colleagues. Looking back at those relationships makes me reflect on the importance of female connections in my life. Strong women in my community were the ones getting things done. My mom was a single mom, so I saw nothing but her nonstop figuring out how to make ends meet, even when we had nothing. Due to not having any sisters, I soon obtained a strong sisterhood of young native women on my campus. To this day, we all remain close and supportive of one another and visit frequently Looking back on all these relationships makes me even more grateful for the work and sacrifices my mom made. She figured things out when she didn't have the support or guidance from anyone she should've been able to rely on. As I navigate this life, I hope I can be at least half the woman she is.

Looking back through my life, I have always struggled with multiple mental health disorders. However, due to stigmas in Indigneous communities, I never received proper support. I was just recently diagnosed with Anxiety, Depression, CPTSD, and, most recently, bipolar disorder. Through my own journey, I have experienced the injustices and underrepresentation of those with mental health disorders. I also have had to advocate a lot for myself because my family wasn't as supportive. Not because they didn't want to be, but because it was something that people just didn't talk about on our reservation. Due to this, I often felt very alone and isolated throughout my childhood. Often feeling like an outsider or just thinking something was wrong with me. It wasn't until I left for undergrad and actively took it upon myself to get therapy through my school's mental health services. Through years of therapy and medication, I now feel so much more open to sharing and talking about my mental health challenges. It became a big passion of mine, as I soon learned I wasn't the only one. I began working with my reservation from 2023 to 2025 as a child placement worker through our family services department. I began to see how much youth on our reservation had struggled with very similar things as I was/did growing up. Through this job, I was able to spread awareness of mental health by sharing my story with others. I already am a very emotional and sensitive person, so by further being open and upfront about my mental health struggles, others felt safe enough to share their stories as well. As time went on, I began to explore the possibilities of working within the mental health field to spread awareness and shine a light on my experiences, as well as those of so many others. Not only as a future social worker/therapist but as a community member, mental health is extremely important to me. I think it is the community's responsibility for each and every one of us to advocate and spread awareness on mental health. I am extremely passionate about mental health because I know it is so easy to hide or suffer in silence. This further isolates individuals from seeking help. I think that through my own personal experience, I understand the obstacles of navigating life with mental health issues. I understand so deeply to the point where I wouldn't want anyone else to struggle or suffer in silence the way I did.

My mother has always been a single mom to not only me but also my 4 younger brothers. I am the oldest, so I believe I was also molded into a caregiver role without even realizing it. Even though coming from a single-parent household created barriers in the sense that there was a lot of extracurriculars my mom had to juggle with 5 kids. Not to mention all the equipment we needed for said extracurriculars, my siblings and I were all in sports growing up. Despite the challenges, it was rarely an issue because we also come from a small, tightly knit Indigenous community. So if there was anything my mother needed help with, there was always someone in the community who stepped up to support us. Through this, I was able to not only show how to ask for help from others when I needed it. This also strengthened my ties to community members that I now acknowledge as aunties, uncles, grandparents, cousins, etc., all non-blood related but yet still hold powerful titles. I was also taught how to raise funds myself through either giving back to the community, whether that was babysitting, selling my artwork, or doing yard work for community members. Throughout my academic journey through high school, undergrad, and now graduate school, I have had to utilize these skills as a way to not only survive but I also realied on these skills to simply make ends meet at times. I am currently in my Master's program for social work in Seattle, which is extremely expensive. However, by leaning into the skills my mother taught me, I'm able to stay above water.

I didn’t realize how full circle my lived experience and work aspirations coincided until I began my previous job within Oneida Family Services. To spare some of the depressing details, I was taken in by my Auntie, my biological mother's sister. This was because both my mother and father struggled with drug and alcohol abuse. My mother and father's relationship was extremely toxic as well. There were countless times I endured abuse, and Child Protective Services was involved. Because my father was guilty of DV, amongst other things, he was also an illegal immigrant from Mexico. So, due to the charges, he was deported immediately. My entire life, I struggled with mental health and abandonment issues, but I never understood why. For the majority of my life, I dismissed my experiences. After all, at the end of the day, I was “lucky” because I didn’t enter the foster care system, I had a loving home, and I had so much community support. But as I got older, I felt more and more ashamed of my parents and where I came from. I started internalizing the reasons why they didn’t want me or couldn't take care of me. My 4-year-old self remembers crying to my Auntie, asking why my parents wanted drugs more than they wanted me. What I didn’t realize was that I was burying my trauma deeper and deeper. By the time I reached high school, I started experiencing major depression episodes, anxiety attacks, and flashbacks that would wake me from my sleep. But I kept telling myself, “I have nothing to be hurt or sad over. I need to get over this.” I was an overachiever all my life because I constantly had a voice in the back of my head telling me I couldn’t be like my parents. My full-circle moment happened when I was in the field. I was a Child Placement Coordinator working on the reservation I was born and raised on, specifically working with Native foster homes and kinship homes. Working as a case manager for members of my community whom I knew, I realized how common my personal experience was throughout our community. I realized that I really wasn’t the only one, and kinship has been a part of our communities since the beginning of time. All of a sudden a switch flipped. I knew I wanted to be a further support to the youth who were in either kinship homes or foster care homes. By the time I was on a case, I felt I could only do so much. That’s when I realized I wanted to further my education in social work to eventually become a licensed clinical therapist, specifically for Native youth in these situations. Through my own mental health journey, I remember feeling like my therapist didn’t understand the complexities of my life or my community. My goal now is to be a support for others and give everything I could have only imagined when going through my own experiences.

I didn’t realize how full circle my lived experience and work aspirations coincided until I began my previous job within Oneida Family Services. To spare some of the depressing details, I was taken in by my Auntie, my biological mother's sister. This was because both my mother and father struggled with drug and alcohol abuse. My mother and father's relationship was extremely toxic as well. There were countless times I endured abuse, and Child Protective Services was involved. Because my father was guilty of DV, amongst other things, he was also an illegal immigrant from Mexico. So, due to the charges, he was deported immediately. My entire life, I struggled with mental health and abandonment issues, but I never understood why. For the majority of my life, I dismissed my experiences because, at the end of the day, I was “lucky” because I didn’t enter the foster care system, I had a loving home, and I had so much community support. But as I got older, I felt more and more ashamed of my parents. I started internalizing the reasons why they didn’t want me. My 4-year-old self remembers crying to my Auntie, asking why my parents wanted drugs more than they wanted me. What I didn’t realize was that I was burying my trauma deeper and deeper. By the time I reached high school, I started experiencing major depression episodes, anxiety attacks, and flashbacks that would wake me from my sleep. But I kept telling myself, “I have nothing to be hurt or sad over. I need to get over this.” I was an overachiever all my life because I constantly had a voice in the back of my head telling me I couldn’t be like my parents. My full-circle moment happened when I was in the field. I was a Child Placement Coordinator working on the reservation I was born and raised on. Specifically working with Native foster homes and kinship homes. Working as a case manager for members of my community whom I knew, I realized how common my personal experience was throughout our community. I realized that I really wasn’t the only one, and kinship has been a part of our communities since the beginning of time. All of a sudden, a switch flipped. I knew I wanted to be a further support to the youth who were in either kinship homes or foster care homes. By the time I was on a case, I felt I could only do so much. That’s when I realized I wanted to further my education within Social work to eventually be a licensed clinical therapist, specifically for Native youth in these situations. Through my own mental health journey, I remember feeling like my therapist didn’t understand the complexities of my life or my community. My goal now is to be a support for others and give everything I could have only imagined when going through my own experiences.

I am currently enrolled in the first year of my MSW program at the University of Washington-Seattle. I chose to go back to school for my MSW with an emphasis on the clinical track to become a licensed therapist/clinician. I want to connect Indigenous methods and ways of healing into the Social Work world to be able to meet families where they are, using culturally competent approaches. I strive to put Indigenous ideologies and decolonial frameworks at the forefront of my practice to recenter physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. I truly believe reconnecting with our cultural practices and traditions are significant building blocks to how we take care of our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. I hope to be able to be a bridge to Indigenous communities and mental wellness by de-centering Western practices and implementing traditional teachings that have guided our communities since the beginning of time. However, as I continue to pursue my degree, which is out of state, I am left in constant worry about debt and loans that I've accumulated. In terms of addressing my current and future debt, I work two part-time jobs in between going to school full-time and attending my practicum. I also am constantly researching and applying for scholarships in hopes to offset expenses. To make up whatever remainder debt I have, I also make handmade Indigenous jewelry. I relied on this form of income during undergrad, and throughout grad school, I've had to whip up items to sell in order to pay bills. Once grad school is complete, I plan on utilizing all these resources and forms of income to further work my way out of debt as I begin my clinical hours. I am also hopeful that the profession will eventually pay for itself. Even though I know I did not enter this field looking to make a ridiculous amount of money. However, I do hope I can eventually pay off the debt I accumulated in school by achieving my MSW and being able to work consistently. Debt is something that is often not talked about within my family. So I've had to take the initiative on learning on my own about student loans, FAFSA, loan repayment programs, work studies, scholarships, etc. I received a lot of discouragement from certain family members about my school and financial choices. Sometimes I am unsure if I made the right decision, but once I saw my acceptance letter for the University of Washington MSW program, I decided I wasn't going to let debt fear me into not trying to experience something new.

I am currently enrolled in the first year of my MSW program at the University of Washington-Seattle. I chose to go back to school for my MSW with an emphasis on the clinical track to become a licensed therapist/clinician. I want to connect Indigenous methods and ways of healing into the Social Work world to be able to meet families where they are, using culturally competent approaches. I strive to put Indigenous ideologies and decolonial frameworks at the forefront of my practice to recenter physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. I truly believe reconnecting with our cultural practices and traditions are significant building blocks in how we take care of our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. I hope to be a bridge to Indigenous communities and mental wellness by de-centering Western practices and implementing traditional teachings that have guided our communities since the beginning of time. By furthering my education, I hope to continue to diversify Social Work and Mental Health. This work hits extremely close to home for me and is a big reason why I am so passionate about these issues. Growing up within the Indian Child Welfare system, I soon developed several mental health concerns. Mental Health and Indian Child Welfare are two topics that are extremely sensitive to Indigenous communities. This further isolated me as a child. I had no outlet or anyone to turn to, who I felt understood what I was going through. My family lacked the knowledge and resources I needed throughout my childhood, which trickled into a lot of struggles through young adulthood. Through my lived experience and furthering my education, I hope to continue to spread awareness and education around the stigmas of mental health. Specifically, stigmas of mental health within Indigneous communities. I view this profession as something that not only upholds my personal/ cultural beliefs but also the principles that I believe should exist within all professions, not just social work. These principles should be embedded in our daily lives. While working in the field, I constantly feel as though I am walking in two completely different worlds; I want to work towards conjoining the two. Not further separating it. My personal experience truly lights my fire to be in this profession. I want to change the narrative around social work and Indigneous communities to be able to heal and grow. I often refer back to my own lived experiences and want to continue advocating for those who haven’t found their voice yet in the field, while also uplifting my community