I don’t know exactly, but I reckon the odds of a sixteen-year-old having Stage 4 Cancer are quite low, and I happen to be one of the lucky few.
January 10th, 2022: Day 1 of chemotherapy. Soon after the infusion began, blinding pains struck me and I blacked out. As I regained consciousness, I found myself surrounded by a roomful of medical staff. “We don’t know what happened,” the doctors said. With each beep of the monitor, my head tightened and my remaining optimism dwindled.
A week later, numbness and nausea became my daily companions. However, I refused to surrender to despair. I went on a walk, amid the brisk January air. Though I didn’t look the part, I felt like Rocky Balboa running through the streets of Philadelphia, one step at a time, ready to take on anything. I went out the next day, and again after that. My thirst for challenge was ignited. I resumed school online, earning English and History credits. I started a Python Bootcamp, generating new lines of code, amidst my chemo infusions.
Fifty-nine days into my chemo, each morning greeted me with bitter reminders: hair strands clogging the shower drain, emesis bags piling up, tingling fingertips, and wobbly legs. “Seven more treatments, ninety-eight more days of chemo.” The sudden realization struck me that I wasn’t even halfway through. Overwhelmed, tears flowed down my face. Seneca’s words from millennia ago resonated with me, “[those] who suffer before it is necessary, suffer more than necessary.” I chose to embrace the precious present: cherry blossoms in full bloom, savory Quesadillas, the swaying rhythms of Billy Joel, and the thrill of testing new Python scripts. In the midst of adversity, I found myself immersed in a new passion that would help fill a missing piece in my life.
June 22nd: 5-week Radiotherapy begins. As I lay immobilized, marked with sharpies and lasers, the Gantry’s clicks and buzzes evoked my imagination. With each cluster of clicks, I visualized rays of laser piercing through my dermis. For each buzz, I pictured complex functions and methods, made up of lines of if-else statements and return values. The same syntax-highlighted keywords and camelCase variables that I’d come to love formed the complex mechanics of the very machine designed to heal me. “I could use my knowledge to help people, just as those who built this machine.” I found the missing part of life, echoing Maya Angelou’s wisdom, “giving liberates the soul of the giver.”
Post-radiotherapy, my journey continues. I immersed myself in firsthand real-world coding tasks in a tech start-up to improve its data extraction efficiency. I volunteered in a local immigration center, aiding fellow immigrants in finding their footing in a new country. I’m now in the middle of becoming a software engineering intern for the Childhood Cancer Society. My secret to managing all of this? A deep appreciation and enthusiasm for life.
Cancer made its mark on my body, leaving me with shaky handwriting and scar tissue in my lungs. It also made a mark on my grit and resilience, not stopping me from being in the top 0.05% with a perfect score on the AP Microeconomics exam, running 2 miles every morning, or making a difference in my beautiful community. Some days I still want to stay under the warm blankets, but now my inner voice urges me to get up and pursue passions that will help me make a mark on the world.