I see a woman, without fear, able to care for herself and her loved ones with the freedom to be there for those who matter and with nothing stopping her from being her true self.

My Mom likes to call my High School years the Suicidal Years. Not because I was suicidal but because so many of those around me were genuinely contemplating it. In my high school we lost one kid a year to suicide. My little sister's best friend at the time was always in and out of the hospital in suicide attempts. My own mental health suffered so poorly that I had stopped eating for a moment enough that none of my clothes fit me due to the extreme weight loss. I didn't know a single person who genuinely cared about themselves as a person and in high school, everyone was drowning without even caring that they didn't have access to air. I was one of them. Then, almost a year after graduating I finally managed to break the surface. That first breath of air was because of my family and their constant support to help me finally fill my lungs. I realized then, after knowing how lovely it was to breath air, that I never wanted to drown again. So I started to learn to swim. Step one , the Doggy Paddle. Also known as taking care of your mental health. Mental Health is important because if we don't have our mental health, everything around us begins to topple to the floor. Without ones mental health boundaries cannot be set and limits will not be respected. Burnout is very common and when burn out hits, there is no more productivity nor is there a further push forward. Mental Health focuses on keeping a sane mentality and this helps in ensuring one can focus and not allow their mind state to get distracted. Unlike when you're physically exhausted, a mental exhaustion doesn't really show that you've been pushing as hard as you've been and gives way to you unable to do anything. This may allow others or yourself to call yourself lazy and then with that one's self esteem falls to the floor. With self esteem and confidence falling a sense of worthlessness or a lack of purpose can start to arise in this crisis and then it's rare for anyone to get to recover. However despite this exhaustion difficult to see in a physical format it doesn't make it any less important to rest and heal from this exhaustion. There are thankfully many different forms of healing and resting the mental state and with patience you can find out what works best for you. I have had to find a multitude of creative ways of taking care of my mental health in the different ways they have been injured. One way that I suffered in my mental health was my lack of feeling worthy and that I was not useful. With trial and error, this was fixed as I learned how to cook. In cooking I combated two insecurities at the same time. The first insecurity combated was that I had done nothing to earn a meal, and this was easily remedied by the fact that I had spent time and effort to do something that was physically in front of me and I had now earned this meal. Another insecurity was that I was a hindrance to my family. But in this instance I had brought food for my family to eat and was making sure that they were well nourished. At the same time that I was ensuring my family had sustenance in their bodies, there was a gathering at the table as we all bonded together. Good Mental States Bring Family Together

Growing up with Disney, I've always been a fan of musicals. Yet the favorite Disney movie and favorite Disney Character belongs to one of the movies in which there is no singing involved. In fact the crew who took part in making the movie wore T-shirts that said "Less Singing More Explosions." If you weren't able to tell the movie is Atlantis: The Lost Empire that was brought to theatres in 2001. Princess Kidagakash or as most will recognize her by the name Kida, plays both a love Interest to the Protagonist and a Heroine in the movie. She is the first Woman on Screen that Disney had showed me what type of woman I wanted to be. Someone of power who put the weaker first, as she focuses on the well-being of her people, and if she shows this as a Princess I can only imagine her wonder as a Queen. The power however is not only one garnered in a political matter but also in terms of respect and physical strength. In the movie there is a moment where it is implied that a male character named Mole says something inappropriate to Kida and her prompt response is to punch him in the face. Now while violence is not always the correct answer, this act has inspired me to never allow myself to be someone who will allow others to walk all over her. Kida is also interesting in how she is always open to learning new things from those who know more than her. She's unafraid to ask questions and willing to absorb everything new. Not only is she unafraid to ask questions, she ensures that she has completely understood every single concept she's learned by reviewing it and will not allow the teacher to go without confirming her new knowledge. As interesting as she is in the pursuit of knowledge, she's infinitely more interesting in when she is teaching. She doesn't attempt to hoard knowledge, instead choosing to share it to whoever is willing to listen. She is also interesting in how she does not make the other feel as though they are less than for not knowing the same things that she does. It's how I try to share what I know with others, so that the knowledge I have acquired is spread and for those who listen it makes their lives easier.

For as long as I can remember, there’s always been a furry canine pawing at me , asking for affection. Our German Shepard Roxy , a dog we had for sixteen years, passed away in 2021 leaving behind Mayze and Touzie. Mayze and Touzie are her daughters and they’ve been little menaces for the past seven years. Well-meaning menaces. Menaces enough to the point that they jump fences and run away. Once, they ran away and only one dog came back. My family and I looked everywhere and it wasn’t until we asked Touzie where her sister was that we managed to find her. Whilst jumping the fence Mayze cut her back paw creating a gash. The next day I took Mayze to the vet, which told me that the cut would heal on its own. Unfortunately this was the incident that led us to change veterinarians after 17 years. We discovered that Mayze's foot got infected and no matter how many times we went to the vet , the infection got worse and they were telling us to put Mayze down. I lost track of how many vets we went to and when we were discussing whether to amputate her toes or leg, Mayze bit off her own toes. It was at that moment that I stopped relying on the vet and buckled down and put my stubbornness to use. I spent every day tending to the Mayze’s foot using knowledge from Old Wives Tales, tricks from my uncles and aunts when they used to treat horses and skills given to me from my time in an Advanced Medical program in school. I can proudly say that she joins her sister and I on walks and plays around despite the Keloid that had healed on her foot. And they return the favor, keeping me safe from coyotes and bobcats and even myself. Once on a run with Touzie, with a still undetermined cause, I passed out in the middle of the run. I noticed that instead of hitting the concrete in the fall, I hit something soft. Touzie, despite never having been taught or even exposed to incidents like this, ran back to me and blocked my fall with her own body. And yet without further instructions as I was unconscious , she never left my side despite being a chronic runaway. I don’t know how long I was on the sidewalk for, but when I woke up she was blocking me from the view of a random onlooker. A neighbor saw me on the floor and was curious but Touzie was lowly growling and keeping me safe from what she deemed a threat. These two dogs have changed my life for the better. I look at Mayze and realize that she’s happy and safe. She plays and is always seeking affection and I can’t imagine having never fought for her. Every Vet had argued that she was close to the end because of the infection and yet she and I worked together and proved them all wrong. Even when all seems hopeless, you can’t give up. If I can fight for a better quality of life for Mayze, then I can for myself. Touzie reminds me that while you need to fight, you also need to take care of yourself. It’s unfair for her to have been expected to keep me safe and yet without hesitation she did. Touzie is sweet and gentle and the protector and brave. She reminds me that it is alright to fear, for without fear there is no opportunity to be brave.