The world sucks sometimes. Literally, it sucks out good people worthy of life at unexpected moments, unapathetic towards the people grieving that loss and needing the time to process. It sucks and sucks and keeps revolving around the sun, even if you're not ready for the next day, week, month, or year. My father was unexpectedly sucked up by the universe in February 2021. He wasn't physically sick, and he was not finished with life. I was only a high school senior, attending classes virtually, applying to colleges, and preparing to graduate in a few months in the midst of a pandemic, ironically not being related to his cause of death. My father was a simple man. He had little family, family that cared about him at least, and had a tiny studio apartment with a job making about $35,000 per year. But he had two children, musically involved, making good grades in school, and looking forward to an enriching life and to ultimately give back to their father one day. At first, I could not envision a future for myself. As acceptance and rejection letters rolled in, my senior prom nearing, and finals approaching, I struggled to find the meaning of life. Questions were playing ping pong in my brain with what-if scenarios and rhetorical questions such as why should I go to college if everyone inevitably dies one day, and why do bad things happen to good people? Plagued with my thoughts, I realized that my younger brother was spiraling. I had to get out of bed, go back to school, choose a good college and continue my life. I called my high school and told them I was coming back, I bought a prom dress, I signed my acceptance of enrollment for the University of Texas in Austin, began therapy, and I started to breathe again. Being a role model for my brother got me out of my funk, but my future was foggy and I still had no answers. About a year has passed and I have come to a conclusion about my future and why the world sucks. It comes down to time is not a luxury. The resource in which no one is guaranteed but most people would fight for, even to their end, is ironically never won. However, it has pushed me, in more ways than providing for my father one day, to lead a driven, motivating, and enriching life. Life waits on no one and you have to play the cards you’ve been dealt. Whether you live to 49 like my father, 99 like Betty White, or 122 like Jeanne Calment, you have to live life for each day and it is only up to you to make your life memorable and/or enriching, however you may choose to do so. I have learned that every day counts, and I have had to live each day consciously knowing that if I go tomorrow, I am okay with the legacy I leave behind, in hopes of building on that legacy each and every day I am gifted with more time. I am a great student who made all A's in her first semester in college. I am an amazing sister and daughter who has given her family someone to be grateful for. I am a good girlfriend who supports and loves her partner unconditionally. I am a good person, providing for my community whenever possible. And I will continue to live as great as I possibly can until my time comes to a close, and the world sucks me up too.

Patience is extremely fickle. In some ways, waiting patiently can be harmful: waiting on something to happen without taking enough initiative in the present or being too patient waiting on opportunities and watching them rush by. Many people would tell another to pursue something in hopes of achieving something now, immediately. Life is simply too short. They are not wrong, but patience is the key to long-lasting and ultimate happiness. I have learned that real patience is not as important when achieving goals. In reality, it's being cautious in celebrating said goals, because with every milestone, there is something bigger and better waiting. Working hard never ends, even if I have been successful once, twice, and so on. The bigger things in life come with patience. I like to compare patience to poker. I have a royal flush in my hand, confident in my success, but if I lay out my hand now, I lose the chance to earn more with future bids building the pot. The goal is to win the most money possible, creating a need for patience. However, the most important thing I have learned when it comes to patience is how having confidence impacts one's reaping of patience. Confidence in parallel to hard work contributes to greater success. Knowing that one's work pays off and feeling good about the journey, makes the ending all the more fulfilling, because happiness is what true success is.

My happiness is very fickle. Struggling with mental health, I have found that what makes me happy changes frequently. However, there are a few constants that continue to bring me joy. Music, for instance, is something that has always brought me relief. Whether that be playing my guitar, piano, singing, going to karaoke with friends, going to concerts, finding live music on the streets, or simply listening to music, I am at my happiest. I have also explored the other arts. I have been practicing doing make-up since I was 14 years old. Making people feel beautiful, and feeling beautiful myself, has made me extremely happy and more confident in my day-to-day life. I have done make-up for girls going to prom and homecoming, on myself when I want to explore new colors and techniques, for my friends to go out or just for fun, and my mom for her work functions and parties.

The world sucks sometimes. Literally, it sucks out good people worthy of life at unexpected moments, unapathetic towards the people grieving that loss and needing the time to process. It sucks and sucks and keeps revolving around the sun, even if you're not ready for the next day, week, month, or year. My father was unexpectedly sucked up by the universe in February 2021. He wasn't physically sick, and he was not finished with life. I was only a high school senior, attending classes virtually, applying to colleges, and preparing to graduate in a few months in the midst of a pandemic, ironically not being related to his cause of death. My father was a simple man. He had little family, family that cared about him at least, and had a tiny studio apartment with a job making about $35,000 per year. But he had two children, musically involved, making good grades in school, and looking forward to an enriching life and to ultimately give back to their father one day. At first, I could not envision a future for myself. As acceptance and rejection letters rolled in, my senior prom nearing, and finals approaching, I struggled to find the meaning of life. Questions were playing ping pong in my brain with what-if scenarios and rhetorical questions such as why should I go to college if everyone inevitably dies one day, and why do bad things happen to good people? Plagued with my thoughts, I realized that my younger brother was spiraling. I had to get out of bed, go back to school, choose a good college and continue my life. I called my high school and told them I was coming back, I bought a prom dress, I signed my acceptance of enrollment for the University of Texas in Austin, began therapy, and I started to breathe again. Being a role model for my brother got me out of my funk, but my future was foggy and I still had no answers. About a year has passed and I have come to a conclusion about my future and why the world sucks. It comes down to time is not a luxury. The resource in which no one is guaranteed but most people would fight for, even to their end, is ironically never won. However, it has pushed me, in more ways than providing for my father one day, to lead a driven, motivating, and enriching life. Life waits on no one and you have to play the cards you’ve been dealt. Whether you live to 49 like my father, 99 like Betty White, or 122 like Jeanne Calment, you have to live life for each day and it is only up to you to make your life memorable and/or enriching, however you may choose to do so. I have learned that every day counts, and I have had to live each day consciously knowing that if I go tomorrow, I am okay with the legacy I leave behind, in hopes of building on that legacy each and every day I am gifted with more time. I am a great student who made all A's in her first semester in college. I am an amazing sister and daughter who has given her family someone to be grateful for. I am a good girlfriend who supports and loves her partner unconditionally. I am a good person, providing for my community whenever possible. And I will continue to live as great as I possibly can until my time comes to a close, and the world sucks me up too.

My name is Vivian Glaze. As a queer woman in Texas, I enjoy advocating for women and all queer youth, especially those suffering with mental health. Outside of school, I enjoy doing makeup, painting, and listening/creating music. Music and art have both always been important to me and my mental health. One of my favorite things in the world is live music. The connection with the emotion conveyed in music is unlike any human connection possible, and sharing that musical connection with others, personally, is extremely vulnerable yet important in building positive relationships with the people I love and care about.

Losing someone is really hard, but watching those you love lose someone special is something I never thought I would have to experience at such a young age. The trauma ages you. As time speeds up, the earth leaves you behind, staying in its constant rhythm of rotation. Days become nights as simple as they did before, even if you are years ahead, wishing for everything to slow down. On February 23rd, 2021, I received the news of my father unexpectedly passing. That was the only moment in time the earth gave me. The day paused briefly and gave me that time to let go, but I was already much ahead, and now time continues to move and I feel lost within it. In my own time and grief, I lost sight of the ones I still cared for. I wrapped myself up in how many people I lost at that point. However, what later dragged me out of my time loop was seeing my brother's grief. Being an older sister of someone with mental disabilities comes at a price: fighting his bullies in school, being his confidant even when I had no one to confide to, and taking care of him even when no one took care of me. During the peak of my virtual senior year, applying to colleges, being isolated from family, coming to terms with my sexuality, and after losing my best friend and father, I was yet again put into the position of a supportive role model, ironically at the lowest point in my life. Cleaning up my act while depressed and unapathetic towards my life and future was the hardest part. His future plans of living with my father, going to college, and having a life-long friend crumbled. I explain it now to my mother like trying to pick up broken glass with tears in one's eyes: resulting in a clean and blood-ridden space. It's the only way I know how to explain the complexity of the situation. However, because my brother looked up to me, it made battling my grief easier, because doing something for myself rather than for others has always been challenging for me. I have never been good at being selfish, so I don't like to think about what might have happened were I an only child. But I cleaned the floor, wrapped up my hands, and now my brother can walk freely into the room without fear of stepping on glass. I submitted my applications, finished high-school, and now I am studying at the University of Texas. Now my brother who is currently a senior, looks up to me as he applies to his dream colleges, pushes through his assignments and exams, and gets through his dark days. Knowing that he looks up to me motivates me to do what's best for myself, hopeful he pursues the same. I started therapy, reading more often, meditation, journaling, and being honest with myself. Overall, showing up never really ends when it comes to being there for the ones you love. I have to show up everyday, if not for myself, for him.