I chose to attend college because I want a career in nursing. I have always had an inclination to care for others. I desire being able to follow my dreams without worries about finances. I am financially supporting myself entirely. Right now, as I sit on my bed in my dorm room, thinking back on everything I have overcame. Making it to college and being a First-Generation student is beyond a miracle. Just to start off with June 3rd, 2023, I got my foot caught underneath a lawnmower. I was in the hospital for six days and had four surgeries. Even with my partial foot amputation and the constant checkups I proceeded to ask my surgeon if I could go to band camp, she said no, but I went anyway. You may be asking why would you go if you're told no. That's because to me colorguard is more than just a sport it saved my life my first year of high school. I struggled through that whole season senior year, but I was not going to let anything hold me back. While getting older, I've realized that though I had a rough start, the world is going to create setbacks maybe more than most, but I refuse to let it dictate my life. I refuse letting things be ripped from me anymore. I saw this saying that says “Everything I ever loved has been ripped from my hands and now I can't they are too sore and bruised.” I'd like to add my own saying “My hands were once sore from holding on but now they are calloused and rough, I can hold on longer.” It is obviously not worded elegantly or perfect yet. I believe we become addicted to our suffering after a while. We find comfort in melancholy emotions; I know I did for a long time. Hope is fleeting but you have to stay determined. I was the kid that fell through the cracks growing up. I am the middle child of five, all of us are spread out. My older siblings are six and four years older and my younger sisters are six and eight years younger. I was basically invisible, especially after July 2016 my mother was diagnosed with cancer. My dad stepped up and gave up the dream of his tech business and got a more stable job, spending his time off in the hospital with my mother. I took on house cleaning and took care of my youngest sister who was two, my older sister took care of my other sister and cooking. We were like single parents who were still in school. I remember my mom getting sick late thanksgiving night that year and going to the hospital and not getting to come home till Christmas Eve. I did not care about the presents. I was just happy she was home. My mother was a nurse and dreamed of going back for her bachelors. I remember her beating cancer the first time and how perfect life was for those 7 months. Then in June or July of 2017 the cancer came back. I remember us talking about how it was much lower this time and how she could beat this, and it would not be as long of a battle as the first time. She was planned a bone marrow transplant and a couple rounds of chemo. In October of 2017 there was some sort of complication the doctors don't even understand. All of us children were sleeping soundly my dad took her to hospital because she could not breathe. I remember getting that phone call after school the next day including my older siblings. That weekend I went to my cousin's house for a sleepover. That morning, we got up to get ready for church. Were in the garage to get in the car, when her dad gets a call and steps out. He comes back and says that he and I are going to the hospital because my mother is not doing well. I felt my stomach drop, the car ride was silent. We got to the hospital and were the first ones in the room. Thats the moment my heart stopped. I remember the beeping and seeing my mom in that hospital bed, being told we had to say goodbye and that mom was not going to make it. I was so scared of what I was seeing that I froze. I stood at the foot of her bed and all I could say was “hi mom I'm going to miss you.” My brother and sister made it as did many other people. I will always be a little mad at myself for leaving the room, I couldn't stay in the room and watch them take off life support. That day feeling like an eternity. When we got out of the hospital, but it was only midafternoon. I turned 12 15 days later. Reminiscing the grief, how heavy it was; it is still heavy, but it's not impossible to carry anymore. I went through lots for an almost 12-year-old. Then 3 months after my mother had passed my dad started dating someone. They got married in July of 2018, she became verbally and emotionally abusive towards my father and I would stand up for him; she hated that very much, she brainwashed my father against me, he became physically abusive towards me. She was using the life insurance money we got from my mother's death selfishly on herself. She left when we ran out. Those were the tragic events in my life so far, lots of awful things still happened but that is not why I'm writing this, I wrote this to express that you can do anything you put your mind to. Setbacks still happen but don't let that stop you entirely. I have always been there to persevere for loved ones. Now it's my turn to persevere for myself, to figure out who I am.