For over half my life, my dad had been battling illness. I was 6 years old when he was diagnosed with Pulmonary Fibrosis, a rare incurable lung disease, and 7 when he received his double lung transplant. Although he survived 10 years after his diagnosis, transplants are only temporary and he reached the end of his extra life 2 months ago.  It felt as though everyone around me knew this day was coming sooner than later, but I knew in my heart that there wasn't a world where my dad wasn’t going to see me graduate high school, there wasn’t a world where I wouldn't have him to walk me down the aisle. The past couple of years his health had been declining more rapidly, but when my Senior year came along he seemed to become somewhat stable, I had hoped more than ever that he would be by my side and watch me go into the world. I feel utterly robbed of the life I was supposed to have with him. My life is just beginning and there will be endless moments that I wish I could share with him. My second semester of senior year has been filled with emptiness, depression, and denial. At a time that was meant to be filled with the joys of transitioning into a new journey, I can never experience that fully without missing his presence. Even though my grades have not necessarily fallen, I have lost the willpower to continue. After he passed I wanted so desperately not to return to school, but I knew I had to push myself, as my dad would. Luckily, the stress of applying to colleges had already passed and just 2 weeks after I buried my dad, I got an acceptance letter to the school I would call my future home. The first minutes of viewing my acceptance letter, felt exhilarating, as though a boulder had been removed from my chest. As I embraced my mom and family, I experienced a happiness that had disappeared for months. Though those moments were sweet, as I looked around at the smiling faces of the people closest to me, the happy tears quickly turned into despair. I had wished to hurl my arms around my dad and tell him I did it. All the goals I had set, the hard work and dedication I put in, were finally worth it. I was on track to begin the life my dad so dearly aspired for me. That day, February 7th, was the first “big” moment he was missing, and realizing that was just the beginning was enough to make my heart sink.  Unfortunately, the world will never stop spinning just because a parent died, meaning there are still bills in the mailbox every morning, and, more prominently, college tuition, housing, and everything in between still need to be paid. Now being dependent on a single income, it has been tough due to my mom working three days a week so she can dedicate time to caring for her elderly mom while I’m at school. With that comes a decreased paycheck which has led to very frugal spending habits for the entire family. Luxuries that I had gotten used to such as eating out or having my gas paid for are as stated, luxuries that we can’t afford. Despite this, my mom makes known that she doesn’t want me to worry about college and that everything will be handled, but deep down I know that she is moving mountains to make that statement true.