I grew up in a Spanish Pentecostal. I was baptized at the age of 15, but if I’m being honest, it was more for my family. As soon as I turned 18, I left home and stopped going to church. I never stopped believing in God, and I believed that God could perform miracles and heal people, but at some point I stopped believing that He would do that for me.
I was sexually abused by a family member from the age of 9 until I was 16. When I was 17 I was at a youth conference where I ended up telling one of my youth leaders about this, the first time I had ever told anyone. About one month before my 18th birthday, this youth leader surprised me by taking me to our pastor’s office where my parents were waiting, and forced me to tell my parents what had happened. Within a week, it was as if nothing had ever happened. My family chose to sweep it under the rug, and if I ever acted in a dismissive way toward the person who abused me, my family would accuse me of attempting to tear the family apart. I had to live with still seeing this person at all family gatherings and pretend I was fine until the age of 25, when he passed away.
After moving out of my parent’s home at age 18, I began struggling with anxiety and depression. I got into things that I shouldn’t have, and just lived a very “worldly” life. Through all of this, I was working at a Christian organization, and I began to feel very guilty about being one person at work, and another outside of work.
The summer of 2018, I was 25 years old, I decided to quit that job and move to New York City to pursue a career in musical theater. During that time, I decided to ask a friend if she would do a Bible study I had come across with me. I had always heard of stories like Joyce Meyers’ and I never understood what people meant when they would say God healed them from emotional traumas. I really just never thought it would be possible for me. But when I tell you before I had even gotten all the through Exodus, God completely changed my heart and my mind, it felt unreal. I don’t know how, but only having read the first two books of the Bible, through the power of God and the Holy Spirit, something in me changed, and for the first time in my life I truly felt loved by God. It was in that moment that my heart began to ache for people who die every minute without ever hearing the name Jesus, let alone knowing how much they are loved.
Fast forward to now, and I am a junior at Lee University, a Christian college in Cleveland, TN, where I am majoring in Biblical and Theological Studies, with a minor in Psychology. After graduation in May 2022, I plan to follow up with a Masters of Social Work, and eventually move back to New York. I came to Lee University in August 2019, having to completely trust God because I had no idea what I was doing or what I would be doing for a career, but felt that this was where He wanted me. I had to trust that before I graduated, He would open up doors and allow me to see what the next steps are. As a very type-A person, doing something without a plan is terrifying, but the leap of faith was worth it. After many prayers and conversations with professors, the dream is now to one day open a Christ-centered non-profit organization that holistically helps people experiencing homelessness, abuse, and addiction.
I definitely made a very long story short here, this is a snapshot of my testimony and how far God has brought me in life. There are still days that I struggle with depression and lack of self-worth, just as much as I did five years ago, but how has Jesus changed my life? First, He has changed my mind so that when those days come, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they will pass because my hope is in Christ. Secondly, He has changed my heart to one that yearns to know Him more and more, and one that breaks at the thought of others not knowing Him.