I had never experienced loss before. When I got the call that he was in the hospital, I knew I had limited time. His cancer had spread and his organs were failing and I needed to hop on the next flight back to Michigan, my home, his home, to say good bye. This was at 3 p.m. "You have 48 hours, find a flight, we will pay for it, but come as soon as you can." Well as soon as I could was and 12 p.m. the next day. I sat there, trying to focus on my final paper for an extremely important class, so I could start packing and mentally preparing myself. I got a call. I sat there and just stared at the phone, I did not want to pick it up. Something in me knew he was gone, that I wouldn't get the chance to say good bye like everyone else had. *don't pick it up, don't pick it up, don't pick it up*, I answered the FaceTime. My mother's face on the screen, bright red, tears in her eyes and my stomach sank, I was going to throw up. All she said was, "he's gone." I hung up on her, "I'm sorry, I- I don't know, I'm sorry, I have to go." As soon as I hit the end button I was screaming. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think, I couldn't see with the tears in my eyes. The man who believed in me, who cared about me, called me his "best buddy," who had always pushed me to pursue my education, who never failed to put a smile on my face, my grandfather, gone. I gagged, I was breathing to hard and too fast. Then I stopped, I called my father, and all he could say was "I'm so sorry, Vanessa." I knew where my grandfather was going and that I would see him again some day, but I began to question my faith anyways, scared I would never see him again. I held out hope though. "He wouldn't want you to quit, he would want you to finish that paper and submit it." So that's what I did. With a lump in my throat and barely able to see through my teary eyes, I typed and typed and turned it in. My father was right, my grandpa would have wanted me to get it done. He was always so proud of my school work. My goal in life is to impact people the way that my grandfather had. He was the kindest, most genuine man, with faith like no other. My goal in life is to work with people. I have always been a people person, just like him. I would like to work in a field which helps others, especially when it comes to learning. Maybe in a company helping people when they don't understand a topic, when they have questions or need advice about a situation. Or maybe working with children, helping them through things that they may not fully grasp yet. I want to be the type of person who makes an impact on others and never fails to make them feel seen, heard, understood. I also would like to continue volunteering at my church, which he was very proud of and I'm sure he still is. I sing for my church and while that day he passed I questioned my faith, I realized that death is inevitable and that I would like to leave this Earth, knowing that I made an impact the same way he did, by helping others.

My dad is my best friend. From the time that I was 2, all I knew was back and forth back and forth between mom and dad's house. When I turned 10, my dad moved to North Carolina, and I was stuck in Michigan, where I was from. When I turned 11 I decided I didn't want to live with my mom anymore so I moved to North Carolina to live with my dad and stepmom at the time. Right before the end of my 8th-grade year, my stepmom took half of our house, my dog, and my little sisters, and dropped me off at a friend's house and left. That took a huge toll on my father and me as it just became us. While it was super traumatic and sad, he and I created a bond like no other father and daughter while we worked to rebuild our life. For a while, after she left, neither of us could stand to go upstairs to our rooms because his wife wasn't there and my sisters' rooms across the hall were now empty. He slept on the floor while I slept on the couch in our living room for probably the next 5 months, spending each night watching TV to help us not focus on the holes now missing in our lives. As a single father, he truly did a good job not only picking himself up but helping to push me to keep on working hard while the wound was still fresh. He pushed me to focus on school and extracurriculars. Right before my freshman year of high school, he moved us from Raleigh, NC to Charlotte, NC, to move closer to where my step-mom had taken my sisters. I started high school not knowing anyone and it was really hard, but he was there every step of the way to encourage me to make new friends and work hard so I could get into a good college. For the next few years of high school, I would come home to an empty house while he was still at work, but he would make up for it by spending the evenings making me laugh and helping me with homework when I was struggling. He was there when I was applying to colleges and there when I opened those acceptance letters. The hardest thing I've ever had to do was watch him leave after helping me move into my college dorm freshman year. My father is the best man I know and while no one is perfect, he came really close. He was my biggest cheerleader and my biggest critic. He never wanted anything but for me to succeed and be the best student and best person I could be. He also pushed me to dive deeper into my faith as a Christian. Starting my freshman year of high school I decided to join my church's worship team. It gave me friends and it gave me a sense of purpose while I was still going through a hard time. I still sing even now though and I wouldn't change it for the world. In the future, I plan on continuing to influence my community through singing as well as working with people in my future career. I have always felt the need to help others and my dad has always encouraged me to pursue a career in helping others. He is the reason that I want to help others though because I learned from him. My dad is my best friend and I couldn't ask for a better best friend.

I have always been interested in history ever since my first history class in middle school. I was in love with studying the past and how things happened, what they caused, and how society has improved. I also loved the idea of helping children so I thought what better way than to possibly go into the educational field and study history so I could one day teach it. My first history class was in 6th grade and what stuck out to me was WWI, WWII, and the Cold War. I was so interested in learning more about it that I was being sucked into each new lesson in the unit. I then got so interested that I went to my school's library and picked out so many fictional and nonfictional books about them that I actually ended up winning an award in 7th and 8th grade for reading the most books in my grade. Ever since then, it has always been something I wanted to learn more about and one day teach. When I was first applying for college back in 2020 and it asked me what I would major in, with no hesitation I put history. After being in the major for two years I started to get worried because people would tell me that history was boring, that I wouldn't make any money, and that I should change my major and for a while, I believed them. I was days away from changing my major when I talked to my dad and he told me that it was no one else's decision or right to tell me what I should or should not study and I realized he was right. I had always loved history so why would I let other people put me down when it was something so important to me? So I decided to take what I was going to change my major to, and turn it into my minor. I was really happy especially because I had already invested so much time into the major, I was very skeptical about changing it even just because of that. I realized though that I could also just incorporate that minor into my major and understand why people throughout history acted the way they did, and I was really happy that I didn't change majors. Now I am not sure if I still plan on going the education route, but I know I still want to work in the history field.

My name is Vanessa Hoogsteen and I am currently a Junior at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte. I am an older sister, an aunt, a daughter, a friend, and a mentor. One of my passions is singing and that is how I make a positive impact on my community. Beginning in my freshman year of High school, I decided I wanted to start volunteering at my church (Forest Hill Church in Charlotte) by being a worship leader in the youth program. I spent all of high school leading worship for my peers and younger children. I would come to the church every Sunday of my Senior year of high school for hours to rehearse, and lead worship, and then I would get to go to our designated groups and be able to spread my passion by talking about my personal experiences. Reaching out to my peers seemed scary at first because I was afraid to be judged but I learned that a lot of them looked up to me and that what I was doing was helping them dive deeper into their faith. I even had a girl a few years younger than me talk to me a few times about her mental health and ask for advice when she was struggling and it made me feel great that she was comfortable enough to share that with me and trust me to help her. She still reaches out to me just to talk and I love the bond that I was able to create with some of the students. I also started singing during the adult programs. Volunteering every Sunday has allowed me to reach so many people, young and old, and spread my love for the Lord to those in my church. It has given me a community of people I sing with as well as members of the congregation who come and speak to me after service. I love being a part of a community and being able to share the gift God gave me with others. I am happy to say that I still sing in the mornings as well as lead worship with my team for the middle and high schoolers who attend youth camps outside of normal church hours. It has given me such great experience working with kids as well as helping them connect with the Lord. The talent God gave me allowed me to be able to reach out to my community and create a bond with so many people. I love encouraging others to own their faith and be proud of it.

I have four half sisters and one step sister. You are probably like, well what does that have to do with this scholarship? I mentioned that because growing up with sisters, it taught me how to be a leader and I was able to help them (and still do help them) through the good and bad. Going into the psychology field was actually influenced by the fact that I had younger siblings. The impact on the world that I plan on leaving is helping younger children. I want to be there for kids the way that I have always been for my own sisters. I also know what it is like to be mistreated by a (step)parent and I want to be a support system for kids who maybe don't have anyone else to talk to. The impact I leave will be one of caring and kindness and love that these kids might not be feelings. Life is hard and if I have the possibility of saving a kids life just by being there for them and listening and helping them through the hard times, I couldn't ask for anything more in life. My mark will be of someone who knows how difficult life can be but will always be there to teach and support the next generation.

I admire someone that hasn't passed yet but who is not the same person they once were, the old him is history. This person is my grandfather. My grandfather is one of the most hardworking, dedicated, family-oriented people I have ever met. I know what you are probably thinking, why would she choose her grandfather when she could've picked someone like Einstein or something? It's because I don't know what they were like besides the facts that have been presented in my history textbooks in school. I do, however, know all about my grandfather and that's why he is the person I admire. I say he hasn't passed but he isn't himself because he has mild dementia. It is sad to watch someone you love so much forget your name, or your birthday, or tell you the same thing multiple times and you have to just listen and say "wow grandpa that's awesome." Throughout my childhood though, he was one of my biggest supporters, my "best buddy" as I used to say. I admire him because of how he hasn't only succeed in life, but the way he has never let his family suffer. Whenever my mother, or my older sister, or my aunt, has asked him for financial help, he doesn't even blink, he just helps. Now I don't like to ask for money from people but he has helped me in other ways. While he forgets sometimes, whenever I call him on the phone I am greeted with a "Vanessa! Hi honey, I have been praying for you." He is the most sincere, caring, loving person who is the same person at home that he is in public and I admire that so much. Not everyone is genuine but my best buddy is, and he is my inspiration.

"Vanessa, I am making you pay your way through college." Now let's be honest, that isn't helpful to me. What person wants to go in debt? My father has always been good with his money though. He has constantly taught me the value of saving. He is actually the only person that has talked to me about financial thing but I will never forget this because I live by this motto every day. He said "you won't understand the value of money until it is you working for it." That was the best financial advice I have ever received and it is because he was 100% right. While I didn't grow up rich, I will admit when I was younger my dad had a hard time saying no to me. When I found out I was on my own for college I wasn't mad, I was just scared. I have to work about 4-5 days a week while going to school, and trying to go to the gym to stay active, and trying to have a social life, and have any down time for myself. This is a struggle for me especially because of the student loans I have had to take out. I don't blame him at all for this because he was right, I value money way more now that it is my own that I am working for and watching disappear. My father telling me that this would help me value my money more was so so true. That is why it is the most helpful piece of financial advice, because I never really understood how hard it was until I was put in this situation of working just to make the bare minimum to pay for school. I will forever value his advice.

Healthy living isn't just about just what you put in your body but is a way of life, a mindset. To live a long healthy life of course most people would say things like eat healthy, work out, don't smoke, and those are all great answers but it isn't just about that. For me the best way to live a long healthy life is to incorporate all of those things but through a healthy mindset as well. I do this by reading my bible daily, keeping a positive attitude, and working on myself everyday to be the best Vanessa I can. While it is easy to say you keep your body in shape and eat your vegetables, you also have to recognize that if you don't have a positive attitude towards working on yourself, you will most likely lose that motivation. In order to keep myself working to have that long, healthy life, I make sure that I have a positive relationship with food. It can be hard especially with social media these days, to keep a positive relationship with food and working out. To do that I always remind myself that God gave me this body and He loved me the way I am. Another example is that I know my family has a history of addiction problems so I am conscious about those things and have sworn to never smoke, or drink heavily in the future. Keeping a positive mindset and working on your mental health is what will keep you on track to a long healthy life. It is easy to say what you CAN do and what you ACTUALLY do. The mindset you choose to have will ultimately determine your final outcome.

For a while my emotions took control. I was lashing out in anger, crying all the time, wondering if I was good enough to do this, to keep going. This was me last year. Covid had me in my dorm alone with no roommates, barely a soul in the ghost town that was campus. I was alone and I was not thriving. How did I fix it you ask? Well I didn't at first... that was until I let God take over and he showed me the path he made for me. I had grown up believing in Jesus but I never truly knew what giving your heart to him was. During this time of sadness and anxiety, I finally decided to look to him for guidance. He helped me out of the darkness and put me on my feet. He told me "you got this." That is why I want to help other people going through the same situation. I am a psychology major and my whole goal in life has been to help people. I used to want to be a teacher but because of the rough time I had where I felt alone, I wanted to be someone for others who shared those same feelings. I mainly would like to focus on helping younger children and students in that way. I know what it is like to feel like the weight of the world is solely on your shoulders. It is not though. I want kids like me to feel like they are able to get help and speak out when they feel lost. I do not like forcing my religion on other people but if anything, I would love to be involved in either a Christian practice, a Christian school, or even work on the counseling team at a church. Going through that rough time really opened my eyes to Jesus and I just want everyone to know how amazing it is to be unconditionally loved by the Lord. That no matter how alone they feel, he is right there with them. So in the future I will use what I thought was going to be the end of me, to help those in need and let God work through me for the better. Because without the Lord I don't think I would have made it. I will do everything in my power to NEVER let someone else feel that hopelessness.

I'm epileptic. I know what you are probably thinking, another disability story, but this one is ACTUALLY not like the others. It was one crucial moment of 12 year old Vanessa Hoogsteen's life that caused a major turnaround. When I first found out I was epileptic, it came as a shock to everyone. I was diagnosed with ADD when I was younger so they always just thought I was "zoning out" when it was really an absence seizure. Now my best friend lived on the same street as me at the time and her mom would always come over and talk to my step mom while we would hang out. My step mom wasn't the nicest and everyone knew that. She would actually yell at me and tell me to pay attention before we knew that my zoning out was a seizure. So my friend's mom asked her, "do you feel bad now knowing that she was actually having a seizure and not just being rude." And I will never forget the words that came out of my step moms mouth. She said, "no she should have been paying attention." I was in complete shock. That's when I really knew she would never truly love me. It all made sense because she had always treated me like I was this awful kid, and she told me I couldn't do anything right. Well now my turnaround story starts. I graduated high school with a 3.57 gpa, did three sports, sing at my church, go to an amazing D1 college, and I am happier than I ever was when she was around. I came back. I showed her that I could do it when she NEVER thought I could. That's my turnaround. I am so proud of where I have come from.

What if you could pick your major in high school...? Just hear me out. I know at a young age that it is still hard to do something with your life but what if you could start deciding your career path earlier in order to have more time to teach you on a specific topic that will help you be even more knowledgable in your field. Let's say that I want to be a mathematics major. I start out in high school taking all of the gen ed classes and math 101s ahead of time. By the time I reach college, I will have mastered the foundation even before my freshman year, and then for the next four years I am able to study so many more different areas and decide after that, what my focus is. If students want to change it they of course would still be able to but it would get them thinking about their future a lot earlier so they won't be scrambling to change majors and what they want to do for the rest of their lives, in just 4 years. You basically learn all of the foundational topics in elementary and middle school. Reading, writing, history, early math, English, science. By the time you get to high school it is the same stuff just made to sound more complicated and more in depth. I know this first hand because I can't tell you the amount of times I sat down in class and heard a lecture about the same thing that I had learned in middle school, just regurgitated and more complicated. If you are allowed to pick your major earlier, then the topic you want will still go in depth, but you won't be worried about having to memorize other classes information. It also gives the students who are not as interested/ not as good at other subjects, an opportunity to do well in school. Rather than giving up because they feel they aren't good enough because they failed one generalized, multiple choice, test on a topic they aren't good at, they can do something they love. Letting them start to choose their field of study earlier will give more time to perfect their skills. I know what you are thinking though, what about learning how to do taxes, or how to write a good essay, etc, etc. Well if I am being honest, high school didn't teach me anything about how to take out loans, a mortgage, file taxes, apply for jobs. It taught me to dissect a frog, find the are of a cylinder, and how to play flag football. I think that bettering their skill sets in a specific field is what would make education so much better.

When I was 6 I wanted to be a softball player, when I was 10 I wanted to be a singer, when I was 13 I wanted to be an olympic shot putter, when I was 16 I wanted to be a teacher, now at 20 all I want to do is help people. As I have gotten older I have learned that not everyone is perfect, including myself, and sometimes people need grace and mercy. I have grown up with a chip on my shoulder due to a number of reasons but I have also grown up learning how to deal with my problems. To have a growth mindset, you first need to acknowledge that you have flaws and that you can work on those flaws. I keep a growth mindset by knowing that I can always work on myself. I have started to work on not getting as mad, not holding grudges, how to communicate, how to listen. I have learned to work on myself and it has benefited me tremendously. So I keep a growth mindset by keeping a positive mindset. Life throws curveballs but if you are careful, you might just swing and hit it out of the park.

Once upon a time there lived a young girl who had a loving father and she was his whole world. This of course was until one day the little girl's evil step mother walked in with something tiny wrapped up in a blanket and said "this is your little sister." That was the day where she was forced to learn patience. That little girl was me, and two more of those tiny things wrapped in blankets were brought home. When my younger sisters were born I learned the meaning of patience. However, having an evil step mother made me learn what the opposite of patience was. With younger siblings, it is important to be patient and kind because they make mistakes and getting mad will only make them feel unloved or uncared for. I would know. Patience was important to being the best big sister I could be because I wanted to show them the utmost love. When my step mother left my father and I she took my sisters with her. Eventually she let my father and I see them again and that is when I knew I needed to show the most patience with them because I wanted every moment I got with them to be full of love. Patience is the key to supporting young minds and helping them develop a patient mindset of their own. I love my sisters dearly and it is hard sometimes to be patient sometimes. It is important because without it the evil step mother might have made them just as evil.

The main way that I stay true to myself in every day life is by professing my faith in God without being apologetic. Sometimes it can be hard for people to be open and proud about speaking about their religion but I love the Lord and I want people to know how important it is to me. I work at my church in my worship program for adult and student services. I am constantly posting about it on social media and how important it is to me. I keep it in my life because it helps me feel sane and not alone. I have friends who are uncomfortable talking about their religion and I don't judge them in any way for that, but for me it is something that I find so amazing and love what He has done for me. Another example of how I stay true to myself is through my confidence. Some people relate confidence to conceitedness but for me it is about facing my fears head on and not letting people's opinions of me tear me down. I support all of my friends through that as well because I am not afraid of confrontations or problems. I am confident that I can fix anything and sometimes it is intimidating to people but I just have a lot of self-value. Staying true to myself is such an important thing. I don't think anyone should be embarrassed of the real them and I pray that everyone finds the strength to be unapologetically themself.

If I had the platform that a big influencer had my main goal would be to promote mental health recognition. As a child, I grew up battling a loft of my demons alone. I grew up with depression and anxiety that made it hard to be positive. I was constantly being gaslit by a family member and was told over and over that I was stupid, I wasn't loved, I would never succeed in life and it was my goal to prove them wrong. I am now going to a large college with a healthy mindset but it took a lot to get there. My platform would be on the importance of getting help when you feel alone, support for people struggling, positive encouraging words, and how people can take control of their mental illness and not let it take over their lives. I want to be there for people because I know how it feels to not have anyone there for you. I wouldn't be like the influencers that say they support mental health and then don't really find a way to make an impact. I would do anything I can, like making a support system within my fans and resources for people who need to reach out for someone to talk too. That's exactly why I chose my major. I wanted to help people (especially younger children and students). I think it is important for them to know that someone acknowledges it and knows that it isn't just something they can get over, especially on their own. So my platform would be help for those who are lost.

I REALLY like to stay organized. It depends on what I am studying but sometimes I make flashcards, review past homework assignments, make quizlets, use study groups. It all depends on what subject and how much time I have. Before I study I always clean my room. I can't focus unless my space is organized because I don't want distractions. If I am not in my room I will just take all of my supplies out and organize it on the table and go from there. I like to review my notes and past assignments first just so I can get a refresher on how to do it/ what the information is. Then I will either go look up quizlets on the topic and test myself that way or I will take the information and do flash cards with the word on one side and a definition and an example on the other. When I am in a group study session, I like to take charge because I am very organized when it comes to my note taking, so I can always come up with questions to ask the group or examples for them. I find that if you are able to teach someone about a topic, it helps you learn about it while you are doing it. So being able to present it to my peers/friends who I am studying with, helps me learn the information faster.

Sometimes people confuse independence with only depending on yourselves, but to me it means taking charge of your own future. I have always been told I am a very independent person. I like to do things my way because I want to feel accomplished that I did something impactful in my life or others' lives. Independence is a big part of my life as well now that I am in college. I do pay my way through college with loans and working part time. I am independent in the way that I am taking control of my future but that doesn't necessarily mean I am alone. I have a ton of family and friends who help where they can. While I am paying a majority of my tuition, my father has also helped where he can. I also find I am independent in that I take charge of my future by working as hard as I can in school. I get my work done, study, go to class, use every tool I can to better myself and my future. Independence to me means that I will be able to work on myself and be able to look back and be proud of what I have done.

The most important personal finance lesson that I think is EXTREMELY important is how to budget. As a college student, we all know that tuition, housing, books, etc, can be VERY difficult to manage. As a freshman in college last year, I learned budgeting the hard way. While I worked about 5-6 days a week for anywhere form 25-30 hours a week, I learned that even though I had extra money, I shouldn't just use it for myself. I should have saved a lot more than I did in order to budget for possible instances where I was short on tuition and housing payments. This year I have started to figure out my own ways and figure out what budget is good for me. I plan it out based on how much overall that tuition and housing cost, and I work as many hours as I need to get that and I don't spend it on things I don't need (clothes, going out to eat, etc). The most important lesson and probably something I would share to someone coming into college who has to pay their own way like me, would be to sign up for as many scholarships as possible, and budge that money accordingly.

I used persistence to overcome my epilepsy. When I was in sixth grade, I found out that I had epilepsy. I was so upset because of all the things I no longer was allowed to do. I wasn't allowed to going swimming, ride bikes, go on rollercoasters, and when I turned 16, I wasn't allowed to get my driver's license like my friends did. A lot of these things on top of the symptoms made me so discouraged. When I was in high school, I finally decided it was time to stop moping around about the stuff I couldn't do and start looking at the positives and what I COULD still do. I could still sing, run, hang out with people, and most importantly, I was still alive when there was almost a possibility that I could have been gone. The night I had my first grand mal seizure, I almost didn't make it, so now I am grateful for every moment. I now don't let my headaches, my pains, and what I can't do, define who I am or what I strive to achieve. I'm now 20 years old, I was able to go to dances, have friends, get a boyfriend, travel, and it is all because I didn't let my epilepsy define me or control every aspect of my life.

My goal in education (as well as in my future career) is to impact the younger generation in the most caring way I can. I am a psychology major at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte. My all time goal has been to help children in any way that I can. I have three younger sisters whom I love dearly. Growing up I wanted nothing but to see them succeed and assist them on their journey. Growing up with three sisters has taught me responsibility and impact that I have on the younger generation. During my free time I would create lesson plans for them, I would teach them new skills, like cooking, riding a bike, and so much more. Even as a young girl, I knew that this is what I wanted to do when I got older. Another example of something that really influenced me to get a degree where I can help others is through my church. I work in the youth (and adult) program at my church. Recently I went on a retreat and lead worship for the students. It was one of the most fulfilling experiences of my life. Seeing the impact I was having on the students only encouraged me to work harder to become someone who could do this for all different types of people with different backgrounds. I feel that with the problems and conflicts life has thrown at me throughout the years (being epileptic, having depression, emotional abuse) I have never wanted anyone to feel the way I did. So therefore I was going to do everything in my power to help people going through similar situations, feel like they had someone to talk to. I actually just last week, had a young girl from my church who I have known since she was in 6th grade, come up to me crying and telling me about her problems. I was able to be there for her and give her advice because she was going through something I have gone through. It was the most amazing feeling knowing I could make a difference in her life. When we finished talking she gave me a huge hug and thanked me for sitting with her and listening. It was something I will never forget. These are just a few of the many reasons that I want to become a psychologist, or a counselor, or just someone that can help people. I would be using this scholarship to its highest potential because I also have to work a lot in order to pay for school. That being said, it is so worth it to know that I will one day be able to help people one day.

Most people had a hard time during Covid, including myself. I lost my friendship with my two best friends, broke up with my boyfriend at the time, lost my senior year activities, it really brought my self-esteem down. Even through all of this I tried to keep a positive mindset. One thing that kept me most sane during this really tough time for me was my religion. I am a non denominational Christian and I am actually a worship leader for the morning service and for my youth program. While church services got cancelled, I used the scripture, the songs, and my relationship with the Lord to keep my head above water. During Covid I was actually given the opportunity to reach out to the students through social media and help lead them in worship through a YouTube series started by my church (My church is called Forest Hill). It gave me so much joy to know that I was still able to have an impact on the younger students. Even now after graduating and Covid starting to die down, I have been given more opportunities to serve and even go on retreats with student to lead in Worship and have sat down with students to give them advice when they are also experiencing rough times. It is something I look forward to. I have built such a good connection with God, the students, new friends, and even myself over the course of this rough past and have stayed optimistic even when I felt like giving up. I plan to continue that in my major (psychology) in the future with other children and adults. I want to give back and help more people stay optimistic.

The wisest thing I have ever heard is actually something I grew up having my father tell me almost every day and that is, "if it was easy, everyone would do it." It has always stuck with me because as I have gotten older, I have started to realize how right he is. I look around me at friends, and even some family, who find excuses for why they can't do A LOT of things. My dad has always taught me the most important thing in life is an education. So obviously that saying applied to school work as well as everyday life. I have always strived to work hard even when I didn't want to because, if it was easy... everyone would do it. This is such broad statement but it applies to so many aspects. I have been working hard to get to this point in my life and now I am at a D1 college, working hard, studying, working a part time job, while trying to balance time to go to the gym so I can stay active, have any type of social life and time for friends, as well as the basics like keeping my room clean. Is it easy? No. But that's why not everyone can do it.

Album Name: Stop the Clock Artist Name: Nessa Rosie 1. Young Dumb and Broke - Khalid 2. Happy Now- Zedd and Elley Duhe 3. Never Be like you- Flume 4. hate u love u - Olivia O'Brien 5. Ghost town- Benson Boone 6. Still into you - Paramore 7. The Nights- Avicii

The most important life lesson I had to learn was how to not let the past dictate your future. I know that sounds cheesy but coming from a broken home, it is something that you seriously have to deal with. For a majority of my life I have been mad at the world for my parents splitting, having an emotional abusive step parent, having a disability, losing friends because of constant moving. I was always mad at the world and I would lash out in anger and push people away. Recently I have learned that is just not the way the world works. Just because life gave me those problems, does not mean that I have to hold on to them or let them control me. I had many people pushing me down, telling me I wouldn't succeed, I wouldn't get into a good school, I would screw up my life, but I didn't. I am sitting here today proving them wrong because I have learned to control my anger, let things go, think positively. Learning how to not let my past control my future has taught me that I can be whoever Vanessa Hoogsteen wants to be. I can achieve the goals, the career, the status, that I want, if I put my past behind me and grow from those things. Moving forward, I plan to use my psychology degree to influence other young people's lives. The world is a tough place, especially for kids growing up in broken families. I want to use my degree to help open kids' hearts up to the possibility of growth, the growth I have embraced. I want to move forward to help kids like me who maybe didn't want to talk to their parents, but needed some place to vent and get advice without picking a side, mom or dad. This has made me stronger because it caused me to grow up a lot quicker and to learn to deal with my problems head on. I have grown in my faith because of it, made new friends, relationships, and overall have helped myself to become a more positive loving person because of it. I also now know the importance of a positive attitude and how it creates a better work environment for you mentally. I struggled a lot with mental health for a while. I didn't know how to pick myself back up, I was just wallowing the sadness, rather than looking for the positives. Teaching myself to let things go, show mercy and grace to others, and think in a more positive way helped me tremendously. All of this made me who I am today and, not to brag, but I think I am pretty strong because of it.

Coming from a single parent household has definitely been filled with its own hurdles but honestly it makes my father and I's relationship really special. My father has been my best friend for a while. He has always been my number one fan, cheering me on at sports games, choir concerts, driving me around, and so so much more. He has been the mother figure that I did not have and I could not be more grateful. While I appreciate my father more than he will ever know, it is hard not having that mother figure in my life to do those "motherly" things. I grew up with my friends all around me telling me how much fun they had with their mom, how much they loved their mom, and honestly it hurt. Even with that though I grew from it. Not having a mom was hard but even without a mom I learned a lot of things on my own which made me more responsible. I made mistakes but I learned what it means to be a woman through other important women in my life (grandmas, aunts, church leaders, teachers, etc). Having other women in my life made me feel less alone and taught me other valuable things. In the future I plan on helping other kids like me. I have learned from my sisters that it is not just me who struggles with parent problems. I am actually going to school for psychology and I want to use my degree to help younger kids when they feel like they don't have anyone to talk to. Not many of my friends have the same problem I do, I do know that I am not alone in this journey. I plan on doing this through being a counselor or psychologist for children most likely. I also plan on continuing to stay involved in my church because I have already had younger girls lean on me for advice and help when they don't know what to do or who to talk to. I want to continue to influence others and help them through tough times. I feel that I was fortunate because all I have ever known was a one parent household because my parent were divorced when I was a year and half. Some people don't experience parent divorce until they are an age where it truly impacts them. I remember having my best friend call me one night telling me her parents were getting a divorce and she didn't know what to do, we were 14. I talked with her for an hour and told her I understood that it was hard and I was there for her no matter what. I gave her some advice and I just listened to her and her concerns and all I felt was the need to help. Things like my personal experiences are why I plan on helping the future generations that have a similar situation in life.

My name is Vanessa Hoogsteen. I am a 20 year old woman who loves singing, writing, running, and just hanging out with my family. Probably sounds super boring but all of these hobbies have impacted what I want to do in life. My major right now is psychology. I picked this major because of my love for helping others. Since I was younger, I have always love helping others (especially younger girls). I am on older sister to three girls and I also have an older sister and a niece. Having this many sisters has really impacted my love for helping the younger generations. Being a psychology major, I have wanted to become a counselor or psychologist. I feel that therapy and things similar to therapy, are always shown in a negative light and I want to change that. I plan on graduating and helping young women and men become confident and well balanced members of societies. When I was younger, I would actually teach my siblings school related things as well as life skills that would help and protect them in the future. I also have been a shoulder to cry on and someone they talk to when they don't feel like they can tell anyone else. This is another reason I wanted to become a counselor for the younger generations, because I have seen first hand that even at a young age, people can go through hard times and they won't tell their parents. My goal in life is not to prevent these kids from feeling a certain way, that's not how life works. My goal is to give them someone who they can lean on, ways for them to deal with their problems in a positive way, give them ideas for helpful outlets. I think that the future generation's mental health is so extremely important and needs to be addressed more than it is. So whether I become some successful practice owner, or just a school counselor that students feel like they can come to when they are having problems with parents, peers, or just life, I will be satisfied. I will be completely honest, I haven't read many books that really impacted me to feel this strongly about my career goals. I mostly just feel this way due to my experiences with friends, siblings, and girls that I mentor at my church, a captain of my high school track and field team, etc. They are the ones that really opened my eyes to the problems that young women, and men, have that they have a hard time talking through.

Something I love about myself is my confidence. Some people relate confidence to conceitedness but for me it is just my ability to do things that others might have a hard time doing. I love to meet new people, I am a very outgoing person and I love to make friends with people who aren't as outgoing. I feel like sometimes, people who are quiet have a hard time putting themselves out there so I use my confidence to help my friends break out of their shell. My confidence also helps me be a leader, which I love to help others. I actually am a worship leader at my church for the morning service as well as the youth program. If I did not have the confidence that I do, I feel like I would not be able to sing on stage or help people grow in their faith. It is important to me to be someone that other's feel they can lean on or talk to. My confidence also helps me find the courage to ask for help when I need it. I know that asking for help is difficult and, without my confidence, I don't think I would be able to seek help when I am going through a tough time. So yes, I love that I am able to be confident in myself and with the way I chose to help others.

If I were to describe myself as one word I would say I was a leader. This isn't because I am entitled, or full of myself, or anything like that, it's because of the people who I lead. I am a worship leader at my church. I sing on Sunday mornings as well as for the youth group on Sunday nights. My main goal is to impact someone who maybe doesn't have anyone to talk to, or is lost in their faith. I love talking to the younger kids about what they are going through and helping them with advice and ways to get more connected with others as well as spiritually. I have been doing this since I was a kid as well, I started my freshman year of high school. What I strive for is that at least once per service, I impact at least one person because it only takes one person to impact others. Whether or not you are religious, I feel that having a foundation is super important. For me, my faith is my foundation and I only want others to feel the peace and positivity that I feel. So my positive impact is through my volunteering in my church.

An experience that shaped who I am today was the day I found out I had epilepsy. It was probably the scariest news of my life, especially for a 13 year old. I had been having a lot of problems and then I had a seizure in the middle of the night on my stairs. This sparked a whole new world for me. I was no longer a normal middle school girl, I had to grow up fast and learn what I had to do to take care of myself. After finding out I had epilepsy I also found out the fun things I was no longer allowed to do, swim, ride bikes, go on rollercoasters, etc. For a young girl this took pretty much all the fun summer things I could do with my friends away from me. It wasn't all bad though. It gave me new responsibilities and caused me to learn new things that I would never have known. I now know if I ever witness a seizure I would be able to possibly save someone's life. It shaped me in a way I never would have expected and I will never take for granted. I am a better person for it because I also know that God would not give me something that he didn't think I could handle. I am honestly grateful for my disability and all it has taught me.

My favorite hobby is singing. I've been singing since the day I could talk. I actually volunteer at my church for the youth and the morning services and use my hobby to make an impact on others. I love my religion and I use what God gave me not only to make me happy but to help (especially the younger generation) to grow more in their faith. I enjoy it so much because when I am feeling down, or I am stressed and don't know what to do, I always go to music and singing to relieve those negative feelings. I love all different types of music, pop, rock, country, worship, oldies, etc. When I am feeling those ways I just turn on a good playlist and sing along and continue even after I am in a better mood. When I was younger I experienced a lot of negativity in my family life and music was my escape. I would sing for my friends, for my school, in a choir, just wherever I could. It became my outlet when the negativity got overwhelming. It became my favorite hobby and the most comforting thing in my life. I also enjoy it because of the people around me who enjoy it. When my younger sisters were really little, I would sing to them all the time. I like to say I introduced them to "good music." It's amazing to see now because my favorite hobby is actually becoming one of my sisters favorite hobbies as well. All in all, it is my favorite hobby for many different reasons. It not only helps me but it is a way to help others (family, friends, and even people I don't know), so that is why I enjoy it. It not only brings me joy but others as well.

Last year I went through one of the worst mental health periods in my life. I lost all hope of doing well in school, I had no motivation to even get up or clean or shower, I was at my lowest. I had just started my first year of school at UNC Charlotte and because of Covid I had no friends but also no opportunities to meet anyone. These experiences however really drove me deeper into my faith. I have been a worship leader for my church since I was a freshman in High School. For a while I realized I was doing it just because I liked to sing but during this time I leaned on my belief in Jesus to get me through this rough period. To quote one of my favorite worship songs, called "Waymaker", he is the "light in the darkness." I realized that even at my lowest, I was never truly alone because he was always sitting right their with me. In terms of my relationships, I had a boyfriend at the time (and he is still my boyfriend now) but like I said, I had no friends, no roommates, and really no way to get involved during covid. It caused me so much pain and so much anger and I didn't know how to handle it. It was tough on me. For a while I really considered dropping out because I had not belief in myself and no motivation. But I persevered and I finished the school year. All in all, a mental illness is a serious thing and should never be taken lightly. I still struggle with it at times but I have learned to lean into my faith and into the people I do have now that love me and care for me. For a while my mental health made me give up on my beliefs, my relationships, and my career aspirations, but I found a way to keep going. Today I am doing so much better, I am happy, I am organized, working hard at school and my job. I am doing a lot better.

I would say that my dream life would ideally be where I was working to help children and students. I have always loved helping others, especially children, because I am an older sister to three girls. For a while I wanted to even be a teacher but I have decided what I really want to do is to teach young women and men what it means to care about your education and your mental health, whether it be as a psychologist or even a student counselor at a school. Like I said, when I was younger all I wanted to do was help my little sisters. Everyday during the summer I would come up with new ways to teach them about school and life in general. I am a huge advocate for family as well as women empowerment so I always wanted to teach my sisters to strive to be great. Speaking on that, I have also wanted to be a mother for the longest time. Growing up with little sisters always made me excited to one day have children of my own. I think it is so important to have the next generation be the best version of themselves. So ideally having children is a part of that dream life, along with helping other children and students along the way. I would say on top of that I would love to be married and have my families foundation be routed in the Christian faith. I feel that a strong religious foundation is an important part of succeeding in life for my family. All in all my dream life would be a happy, intelligent, faith routed family life.