Abuse was all I have known. My name is Valerie Chico, I'm 18 and currently live in SoCal. I'm attending Cal State Fullerton with the intent of majoring in Criminal Justice. For starters, I came from a very low-income/poverty home when I was a child. My single mom had to take care of me and my sister while battling the physical and emotional abuse caused by our dad. Endless custody battles, court hearings, and untouched police reports were a common theme for me. I had to go through years of abuse from my father and sexual abuse from my cousin without getting justice. I stood quiet for all those years due to the police and other government officials who heard my pleas but chose to ignore them. However, I began to learn my way around the legal system, helping my mom with evidence when it came to court with my dad and gathering anything I could to prove that this was happening. Despite thousands of papers clipped together with phone messages, drawings, writings, and so much more, nothing was done. I lived all these years without getting the justice I deserved. Seeing my mom go through these horrible times because of a man who had taken advantage of the system. But no further. Despite my circumstances, I will continue to persevere, continue, and push to become what I needed most; Someone who could have just taken the time to listen to me. With my experience, knowledge, and opportunities given to me, I will take control of my troubled youth and use them to help those who are drowning in silence. With a bachelor's in criminal justice and a master's in social work, I will be pursuing a career that focuses on special victims. This includes victims of domestic abuse, children of CPS, who are currently in foster care or battling legal issues as well as victims of rape. I also want to work with those who are more likely to become in trouble with the law, for example, juveniles in detention centers or children who are hospitalized due to anger, drug abuse, self-harm, and more. My goal with this is to lend them a helping hand, and show that even when you feel like nobody understands you, there will always be one person who has been through it all. Who has shown that despite these troubled circumstances, broke the cycle, against all odds? With the support, opportunities, and overall love given by one single person, there could be a difference made in someone's life, and I will be the one causing that change for the better.

Abuse was all I have known. My name is Valerie Chico, I'm 18 and currently live in SoCal. I'm attending Cal State Fullerton with the intent of majoring in Criminal Justice. For starters, I came from a very low-income/poverty home when I was a child. My single mom had to take care of me and my sister while battling the physical and emotional abuse caused by our dad. Endless custody battles, court hearings, and untouched police reports were a common theme for me. I had to go through years of abuse from my father and sexual abuse from my cousin without getting justice. I stood quiet for all those years due to the police and other government officials who heard my pleas but chose to ignore them. However, I began to learn my way around the legal system, helping my mom with evidence when it came to court with my dad and gathering anything I could to prove that this was happening. Despite thousands of papers clipped together with phone messages, drawings, writings, and so much more, nothing was done. I lived all these years without getting the justice I deserved. Seeing my mom go through these horrible times because of a man who had taken advantage of the system. But no further. Despite my circumstances, I will continue to persevere, continue, and push to become what I needed most; Someone who could have just taken the time to listen to me. With my experience, knowledge, and opportunities given to me, I will take control of my troubled youth and use them to help those who are drowning in silence. With a bachelor's in criminal justice and a master's in social work, I will be pursuing a career that focuses on special victims. This includes victims of domestic abuse, children of CPS, who are currently in foster care or battling legal issues as well as victims of rape. I also want to work with those who are more likely to become in trouble with the law, for example, juveniles in detention centers or children who are hospitalized due to anger, drug abuse, self-harm, and more. My goal with this is to lend them a helping hand, and show that even when you feel like nobody understands you, there will always be one person who has been through it all. Who has shown that despite these troubled circumstances, broke the cycle, against all odds? With the support, opportunities, and overall love given by one single person, there could be a difference made in someone's life, and I will be the one causing that change for the better.

There is a multitude of things that I can say about what shaped me into the person I am today. I can dwell on my 10-year streak of physical abuse from my father, the sexual abuse from my cousins, or being hospitalized for attempted suicide. However, what I would want to focus on today is my self-harm. Being a child of abuse, I try to find ways to cope with the pain I was dealt with by my father. I hated feeling that someone else could control my pain, it was unbearable. So when I was 5 years old, I attempted to take my life through asphyxiation. Though I was unsuccessful, I continue to harm or attempt to kill myself with a multitude of items and situations. My most noticeable was my self-harm addiction that involved me cutting myself when I was in 3rd grade. I used razors, knives, blades, box cutters, and even growing out a single nail just so I could have something to cut with. As long as the abuse lasted, so did my self-harm. However, it wasn't till I opened up to my mom about it. She saw me cut, but I would lie and lie, saying it was our neighborhood cats. Then I began to open up about it just slightly, and she was extremely worried. She seeks medical and mental attention for me, placing me in many mental health facilities. It traumatized her, and that's something that might have clicked inside me. One day, I sat down and talked about how this wasn't just a one-time thing. I went on, speaking about how I was actively self-harming for 10 years. She was so devastated, her scream in agony is something I could never forget. Though I was cutting to control my pain, I didn't realize that I was causing pain to others. It was heartbreaking to see my mom break down over her kid wanting to kill herself. I broke down and held her, as she held me, yelling at me to not do that and asking why I didn't tell her sooner. I felt so ashamed but relieved somewhat. I finally told her about my addiction, and from there on I became more open with her about my struggles. I voluntarily went to the mental hospital to receive care for my mental issues, started taking medications like antidepressants as well as enrolled in outpatient once my inpatient was done. Slowly I became clean. It went from being clean for 1 hour, then 1 day, then 1 week. And since October 1, 2019, I have officially been clean for 3 years, 6 months, and 12 days exactly. I've started becoming the best person I could be. From being a child that couldn't see myself living past 17 years of age, I am now a senior at Glendora High School, with straight A's, 10+ college acceptances, as well as being the president of my club and the National Alliance of Mental Illness (NAMI) club. Though my struggles affected me and left an everlasting impact on my well-being, I'm becoming more of a survivor than the victim I once was. The trauma that I went through, that cut me and broke me into pieces, began to become the missing pieces I am using to shape myself into the person I am today.

Student loan debt kills the lives of students' spirits, which is why I'm planning on addressing my current/future student loan debt in a multitude of ways. The most important way is acknowledging that I do have debt or that I will have them. Most if not the majority of Americans face debt, especially when it comes to college. However, some of them choose to not acknowledge it or ignore it in the hopes that if they do it long enough, it'll leave or somehow to disappear. I know that must sound like the most simplest way to deal with an issue, but I found out on my accord, that that's not the way to go. It causes more damage than any good. After this, I will begin to create intel about my loans. I'll ask, what are the interest rates? How much will it cost in x amount of years? How long will it take for me to pay it off? Doing this, it will help me start to become more organized and initially start the pathway of settling and addressing my loans. I will come up with a plan to deal with these sorts of issues. By this I mean I will be researching multiple ways to find student loan forgiveness. Whether it be from programs, education, government involvement, etc. I will also use what I learn in my economics class to make decisions regarding what I will do. I will apply for the programs and other helpful applications to aid my obstacles. Not only that, but before I engage in college and any school-related financials in the future, I will make sure to apply for scholarships. I will apply to everyone that pertains to me, whether it be a small amount or a big amount. After all, they all add up and could be very beneficial in the future. I also will do my best in school to help achieve any rewards or acknowledgments that will make me stand out to colleges. I'm also currently working so I'm saving a lot to make sure I have an excellent abundance of money for my future self. There's multiple things that I'm doing to make sure that I don't have debt, or if I do have it, I will be able to manage it much easier and be already prepared in comparison to others. I will not be afraid to seek help if I need it, because this is a serious problem student's have and I don't want to live a life full of debt. I will do whatever it takes to make sure I make the right and efficient decisions necessary.

It mainly started with the loss of my grandpa, Victor Sandoval. Growing up I had a harsh life since I was subjected to abuse by my biological dad. I always felt so out of place and as if the dad I did have, didn't love me. But my grandpa was able to show me the love my father didn't. He was constantly checking in on me, telling me to keep my head up high, stand up for myself, and appreciate everything I have. He always motivated me "to be the best", as he would phrase it. He supported me and fought for me when I was being abused by my dad, even being beaten up by him to make sure nothing happened to me. He was so strong, especially since he was an abuse victim as well. Back home, he would be abused endlessly for years by his family. He suffered so much trauma and had extreme PTSD, which I saw firsthand. He was an alcoholic since he was 17, so when he would drink, he would tell me about the most vulnerable moments of his life. It was devastating to hear about what happened to him, but it also inspired me to make the best out of what I went through. Though he had his issues with alcoholism, he was a great worker. He loved his job as a Long Beach Long Shoreman and always talked about how amazing it was. And it showed, he was so talented in what he did. He was a social butterfly, helping all those people in need by giving his number, donating money to them, or buying them food. He was a great guy and made an immense impact on everyone around him. However, as time progressed, things began to get worse for him. His PTSD was getting so bad he would drink in the morning, afternoon, and night. It was affecting us all, and I know it was affecting him too. He was suffering from depression and traumatic flashbacks of what he went through and drank to try to forget. But it would only last every couple of hours. Around 2019, is when alcoholism took a toll on him. He became bed-bound, losing over 100+ lbs, and his organs began failing. Of course, all of us were incredibly worried, and I took it the hardest. I saw him as a replacement for my dad. He was the father figure I needed, and he showed it. It felt as if I was losing my dad to alcoholism. For months, I would go over to my grandparent's house and take care of him. Bathing him, feeding him, cleaning the house as well as balancing being a student summed up my entirety during those months. Even though I was his caretaker along with my grandma, he was getting worse. He was shutting down and turning into a skeleton. He had lesions all over him with brittle bones that were being damaged. He was dying. I took care of him up until he died. On January 11, 2020, at 7:30 p.m., he passed away. I felt as if I could never recover from this. My father figure died. He's gone forever and I can't ever see him now. I suffered immensely and had to get multiple therapists to learn how to process it. Then the pandemic happened. During this time, I focused a lot on what happened. I thought about how this affected me, how it shaped my perspective and how I should use what happened as a learning experience. I began to appreciate life more, spending time with my family and friends. Telling them I love you and showing them appreciation. I also stopped taking my life for granted. I had a long 10-year history of self-harm and suicide attempts. However, after my grandpa died, I felt as if life was more valuable now. It was so much more important than I thought it was. I know my grandpa had flaws that lead to his passing, but it doesn't affect how much I still love him now. I've become an advocate for abuse as well as alcoholism to help those who are struggling to find a path to overcome this obstacle. I've joined a Mental Health club at my school to ensure comfort and vulnerability to those who need it. Though I'm still mourning the loss of my grandpa, his death did show me a new perspective. Even though he died, his life continued and brought a new chapter to mine.

I suffered through many obstacles throughout the entirety of my life, some even continuing today. However, the main struggle that I suffered with for 10 whole years, was my self-harm addiction. As a child of divorce as well as abuse brought on by my father, aunt, and cousin, I tried to find an outlet to control the immense pain that I had stored deep within my heart. Starting from the age of 5, I attempted suicide. Asphyxiation to be exact. Though I lived, it was the beginning of the endless torture I will put myself through. The physical and emotional abuse was prominent since the ripe age of 2, then, the sexual abuse occurred when I was 3. It lasted no more than a year at the hands of my female cousin. Afterward, I would still be tormented by the humiliation and degradation that spilled out of my paternal side's lips. The words stung my skin and cut my throat, as tears burned my eyes in hopes of evading sobbing in front of them. The abuse felt endless, so, I would self-harm. Suicide attempts after suicide attempts became almost daily for me. Cuts and bruises, blacking out from lack of oxygen, as well as trying to be hit by cars were my way of trying to control the unconscious emotions that were dealt before me by my family. My body was covered in the remnants of tools I used to perform these acts. Scissors, knives, box cutters, razors, belts, rope, anything a 10-year-old could think of. Thick fabrics covered my scarred arms and legs during the burning summers of the 2010s. As much as I sweated, no one was allowed to see my vulnerability. The abuse continued, as well as bullying from my school peers. This progressed into multiple absences, late assignments, missing work, and much more piled onto my delicate, fragile body. I was stressed, and even despite having a therapist, I felt the horrid urge to take the pain onto myself. I had a plan and had let my therapist know. This unmistakable act of savior pushed me into hospitalization. I was admitted into the BHC Alhambra psych ward, where I received help and started of medication. After the week, I was better until I relapsed a year later in the Sophmore bathroom. My mother had found me, bloodied and crying on the toilet, cuts exposed so deeply, that the hypodermis was exposed. I voluntarily returned to the hospital, receiving even more supporting help than the year prior. Since then, I have remained clean. 2 years, 10 months, and 26 days to be exact. The hospitalization made me realize a lot of things. I grew and changed from an abuse victim into a survivor. I cut all contact with my paternal family and renewed a therapist. I took my medication frequently as well as attended outpatient and received services for my mental health. I became an advocate for those who suffered through years of abuse and self-harm. Volunteering and involving myself in the mental health club at the school. Though I realize that my mental health wont always is perfect, I now know that it is normal to feel negative emotions, as long as I don't resort to unhealthy outlets. It's also okay to open up about my feelings and I won't be judged for who I am. I now know that I am a survivor of my abuse and I will use that to inspire others so that they can know that being clean from self-harm, isn't impossible, it's just gradual.

Art gave me life as oxygen gives to others. As a victim of abuse from such a young age, I struggled a lot with my emotions, finding healthy outlets, and managing my mental health. The abuse started when I was 2 and progressed till I was 13. This was hard enough for me as it was, so I decided to find outlets that would help me express my emotions most healthily. This introduced me to the world of art at 3 years old. Since then, I used my trauma to motivate my drawings and to convey these unhealthy feelings in the creation of art. It then turned into a passion that I want to pursue now. It is my passion, my therapy, my hobby, but most importantly, something I love. Continuing on, my favorite artist is Margaret Keane. I've always admired the way she drew eyes. the way it captivated the emotions, the feelings, and the story behind the children she painted. It was mesmerizing and drew me in from the very beginning. I also had seen the movie that was based on her life, which then inspired me more. From seeing the unfortunate circumstances that she suffered at the hand of her husband, to how she was able to overcome them with her sheer power and courage made me feel so connected. She was, and still is an amazing person despite her passing. I will always love her art and her as a person.