The instant I took a tiny glance at him, my heart and soul were viscously pounded by hundreds of emotions. To my right, Magda, his widow, burst into tears and squeezed me tightly. To my left, my little sister did the same as I fought against my own emotions and thoughts. His cold, deformed face seemed to stare at me as I tried to look away. I knew he was gone forever, but deep down, I wished it wasn't true. Keeping in my emotions was painful; as much as I tried to avoid it, one tear finally managed to squeeze out. At that same instant, I seemed to accept that I would never see my dad again. When I was about four or five years old, my parents divorced, leaving my mom, younger brother, almost newborn sister, and me basically homeless. From then, we would move in and out with my grandparents and struggle in the ghetto, where it was unusual not to hear gunshots at night. In 2011, my mom got a job as an overnight officer in Arizona. With nothing but ourselves, we traveled 355 miles to establish a new life. Since moving to Arizona, I rarely saw my dad. On average, I saw him once or maybe twice per year and talked to him maybe once a month. He passed away in a car crash in February 2019. If you think about it, I never really had a relationship with him. So why was his death so devastating to me? Well, whether I like it or not, I'm his exact image; I think that when God was making me, he just grabbed the same template he used with my dad, blew, and voila, out I came! Seriously! If picture qualities were the same in 2004 as they were in 1975 (the year my dad was born), you wouldn't know who is who. Me being identical to my dad has its pros, like that I'm so good-looking and talented. But that means I have his temper, tendencies, and many other cons. It hurts to know that he never knew I had his musical talent because I always hid it from the world. My dad worked in San Diego throughout the week but sustained his fiance in Tijuana, Mexico, where they had their apartment and where he would stay the weekends. He never had a steady relationship after he divorced my mom, so it seemed like he was finally maturing. A year before his death, there were no signs of proper aging in him, and then almost out of nowhere, he was going to get married, have another baby; it was my and my siblings' dream! Come to think of it; I think that's why his death hurt more; because he was finally settling down and becoming an admirable man. When he passed away, my grades dropped, and I practically gave up on school. It was something that took over my life, and I couldn't control it. There was so much guilt and regret in me that there was no moving forward. I came to a point in life where I couldn't be a victim anymore, I opened my eyes, and I realized that my siblings had struggles too, specifically my baby brother that was born a week after my dad's death, to his widow. Since my dad had been all source of income for his family in Tijuana, his widow had to move out and live with her parents to put a roof over her baby's head; she had to sell candies on the streets to have food on the table. That's when I realized that millions of people lived in worse situations, so I had to step it up. And to step it up, I first had to help my baby brother; we always try to send his mom money to support her through a tough life that she doesn't deserve. I've always felt like I owe her a lot because she made my dad someone admirable. The overcoming of my dad's death required a lot of maturing on my part, and I think that's why God decided it was my dad's time. Because of his death, I've come to realize many important things of which I wasn't aware. That is why I've pledged to myself that whatever I do, I do it to help others because there will always be someone in a worse situation than me. And also, I've committed to letting my voice and writing out for the world to hear because I want to be able to make someone's day, and I want my dad to be proud of me because while he was living, I never gave him any reason to be proud of me and yet he still was.

I haven't had many tough times being optimistic, but I have had a lot, being pessimistic. That is what has taught me; my once negative outlook on life. I got to a point where I just stopped trying in school because so much was going on, and with a negative viewpoint, there was no resolving my troubles. Over the years, I've overcome my negativity, and now I'm living optimistically. That's how I learned life is better lived with optimism, happiness, comfort, and peace. There's so much more you can get done being an optimistic person rather than being pessimistic. You also transmit a better vibe to other people, and you become more likable. When I look back, the tough times that crushed me always resembled a negative attitude; that is why they were more challenging than they should have been. Everyone will come to a moment in life where they have rough times, and they feel like there's no way out. That's where optimism comes in place; those tough times won't be as tough anymore if you have positive expectations. Not only will optimism get you out of dark moments, but it will also help other people out. Now, there's a difference between being optimistic and unrealistic. Many people think they are optimistic, but in reality, they are just foolish and unreal. My once negative standpoint in life taught me to balance these two and not fall into the mistake of being fictional and innocent.

To me, independence is the opportunity to go through life head-on and make mistakes to learn from them. It is the opportunity to experience happiness, relaxation, and joy, but at the same time, go through sadness, stress, and anger. No one but yourself has control over your triumphs and defeats, your actions and consequences. No one is to blame; you are responsible for everything that goes on. Independence requires a certain level of maturity; if you do not have it, you will struggle more, but that's what's great about independence; it helps you grow in every area no matter what. Being independent doesn't mean you have to be alone; it means that you mustn't depend on anyone else to accomplish your purpose. A wonderful thing about independence is that you can rely on others for support, and that's what some people don't understand. That is why they struggle so much to accomplish their goals. They think being independent means doing everything on their own, but that's not what it means. Also, the thought of independence being "all about me" is widespread, but independence should propel everyone to determine what they can do to help out and make a difference in this world. Summing everything up; Independence leads to discovering what you want, what you like, and most importantly, who you are and who you will be.