My late mother had “20/20 foresight,” to quote her. She believed at any opportunity, she saw ten steps ahead. She’s proven right with her exceptional decision to gift me proper social-emotional practices. She acknowledged emotional intellect is invaluable for a black man, especially after seeing the downfall of black men around her due to their blatant lack of it. A mix of stressors that come with being an African American man - combined with the taboo nature of emotions and mental health, which is not exclusive to the African American diaspora, but all African diaspora, results in a lack of emotional intelligence, which often leads African American men into unfavorable situations. Additionally, through centuries of misinformation and stereotyping, melanin has become a measure of aggression. So for a dark skin African American, the difference between going home in his car or a hurse is simply being able to keep their emotions in check. As a community, we’ve built up copious amounts of generational trauma mainly due to outdated and misogynistic emotional practices. In Chicago specifically, discrimination and redlining have resulted in a myriad of socio-economic issues, but the most glaring, in my opinion, is education. I was blessed enough to attend a magnet school in a gifted program for elementary school. In that program, we were offered social-emotional learning classes, SEL for short. However, at schools in neighborhoods like North Lawndale, Englewood, or Chatham, SEL classes aren’t a concept. For my classmates and me, a woman would come in every Thursday, give us worksheets, and help us with social and relationship skills. Though it would consist of a simple lesson palatable for fourth graders, seeing “treat others how you want to be treated” practiced instead of being said with no follow-through is a world of difference. Simple sayings that are extremely common to hear in a black household, like “Do as a say, not as a do,” can be a detriment to emotional intellect. And a class with someone you can view as a role model who practices what they preach can remedy the bad habits built at home. With influence from my mother, who was a therapist, I decided to major in psychology and later earn a doctorate in behavioral psychology to share her “20/20 foresight” with other young black men. With additional influence from my experiences in that SEL class, I decided integrating courses aimed at teaching children in underprivileged neighborhoods social-emotional skills into the public school curriculum is a must. In the black community, we constantly utilize short-term and often harmful emotional practices. It’s like covering a piercing wound with a bandaid. This ‘out of sight, out of mind’ mentality we approach emotions has to stop. We have to start with our youth; they’re the most impressionable and will be in charge one day. If we can create a population of African American youth who understand their emotions, we can create a generation of people who become more successful and contribute more to society. However, as I said, I need to obtain my doctorate to kickstart this. The Voila Natural Lifestyle scholarship would help me fund either my doctorate or help me fund the SEL classes I want to implement. Either way, this scholarship will be put towards the rebuilding and refining of the black community.

My late mother had “20/20 foresight,” to quote her. She believed at any opportunity, she saw ten steps ahead. She’s proven right with her exceptional decision to gift me proper social-emotional practices. She acknowledged emotional intellect is invaluable for a black man, especially after seeing the downfall of black men around her due to their blatant lack of it. A mix of stressors that come with being an African American man - combined with the taboo nature of emotions and mental health, which is not exclusive to the African American diaspora, but all African diaspora, results in a lack of emotional intelligence, which often leads African American men into unfavorable situations. Additionally, through centuries of misinformation and stereotyping, melanin has become a measure of aggression. So for a dark skin African American, the difference between going home in his car or a hearse is simply being able to keep their emotions in check. As a community, we’ve built up copious amounts of generational trauma mainly due to outdated and misogynistic emotional practices. In Chicago specifically, discrimination and redlining have resulted in a myriad of socio-economic issues, but the most glaring, in my opinion, is education. I was blessed enough to attend a magnet school in a gifted program for elementary school. In that program, we were offered social-emotional learning classes, SEL for short. However, at schools in neighborhoods like North Lawndale, Englewood, or Chatham, SEL classes aren’t a concept. For my classmates and me, a woman would come in every Thursday, give us worksheets, and help us with social and relationship skills. Though it would consist of a simple lesson palatable for fourth graders, seeing “treat others how you want to be treated” practiced instead of being said with no follow-through is a world of difference. Simple sayings that are extremely common to hear in a black household, like “Do as a say, not as a do,” can be a detriment to emotional intellect. And a class with someone you can view as a role model who practices what they preach can remedy the bad habits built at home. With influence from my mother, who was a therapist, I decided to major in psychology and later earn both a doctorate in behavioral psychology and a master's in education to share her “20/20 foresight” with other young black men. With additional influence from my experiences in that SEL class, I decided integrating courses aimed at teaching children in underprivileged neighborhoods social-emotional skills into the public school curriculum is a must. In the black community, we constantly utilize short-term and often harmful emotional practices. It’s like covering a piercing wound with a bandaid. This ‘out of sight, out of mind’ mentality we approach emotions has to stop. We have to start with our youth; they’re the most impressionable and will be in charge one day. If we can create a population of African American youth who understand their emotions, we can create a generation of people who become more successful and contribute more to society. But it all starts with “20/20 foresight’.

My late mother had “20/20 foresight,” to quote her. She believed at any opportunity, she saw ten steps ahead. She’s proven right with her exceptional decision to gift me proper social-emotional practices. She acknowledged emotional intellect is invaluable for a black man, especially after seeing the downfall of black men around her due to their blatant lack of it. A mix of stressors that come with being an African American man - combined with the taboo nature of emotions and mental health, which is not exclusive to the African American diaspora, but all African diaspora, results in a lack of emotional intelligence, which often leads African American men into unfavorable situations. Additionally, through centuries of misinformation and stereotyping, melanin has become a measure of aggression. So for a dark skin African American, the difference between going home in his car or a hurse is simply being able to keep their emotions in check. As a community, we’ve built up copious amounts of generational trauma mainly due to outdated and misogynistic emotional practices. In Chicago specifically, discrimination and redlining have resulted in a myriad of socio-economic issues, but the most glaring, in my opinion, is education. I was blessed enough to attend a magnet school in a gifted program for elementary school. In that program, we were offered social-emotional learning classes, SEL for short. However, at schools in neighborhoods like North Lawndale, Englewood, or Chatham, SEL classes aren’t a concept. For my classmates and me, a woman would come in every Thursday, give us worksheets, and help us with social and relationship skills. Though it would consist of a simple lesson palatable for fourth graders, seeing “treat others how you want to be treated” practiced instead of being said with no follow-through is a world of difference. Simple sayings that are extremely common to hear in a black household, like “Do as a say, not as a do,” can be a detriment to emotional intellect. And a class with someone you can view as a role model who practices what they preach can remedy the bad habits built at home. With influence from my mother, who was a therapist, I decided to major in psychology and later earn a doctorate in behavioral psychology to share her “20/20 foresight” with other young black men. With additional influence from my experiences in that SEL class, I decided integrating courses aimed at teaching children in underprivileged neighborhoods social-emotional skills into the public school curriculum is a must. In the black community, we constantly utilize short-term and often harmful emotional practices. It’s like covering a piercing wound with a bandaid. This ‘out of sight, out of mind’ mentality we approach emotions has to stop. We have to start with our youth; they’re the most impressionable and will be in charge one day. If we can create a population of African American youth who understand their emotions, we can create a generation of people who become more successful and contribute more to society. But it all starts with “20/20 foresight’.

My late mother had “20/20 foresight,” to quote her. She believed at any opportunity, she saw ten steps ahead. She’s proven right with her exceptional decision to gift me proper social-emotional practices. She acknowledged emotional intellect is invaluable for a black man, especially after seeing the downfall of black men around her due to their blatant lack of it. A mix of stressors that come with being an African American man - combined with the taboo nature of emotions and mental health, which is not exclusive to the African American diaspora, but all African diaspora, results in a lack of emotional intelligence, which often leads African American men into unfavorable situations. Additionally, through centuries of misinformation and stereotyping, melanin has become a measure of aggression. So for a dark skin African American, the difference between going home in his car or a hurse is simply being able to keep their emotions in check. As a community, we’ve built up copious amounts of generational trauma mainly due to outdated and misogynistic emotional practices. In Chicago specifically, discrimination and redlining have resulted in a myriad of socio-economic issues, but the most glaring, in my opinion, is education. I was blessed enough to attend a magnet school in a gifted program for elementary school. In that program, we were offered social-emotional learning classes, SEL for short. However, at schools in neighborhoods like North Lawndale, Englewood, or Chatham, SEL classes aren’t a concept. For my classmates and me, a woman would come in every Thursday, give us worksheets, and help us with social and relationship skills. Though it would consist of a simple lesson palatable for fourth graders, seeing “treat others how you want to be treated” practiced instead of being said with no follow-through is a world of difference. Simple sayings that are extremely common to hear in a black household, like “Do as a say, not as a do,” can be a detriment to emotional intellect. And a class with someone you can view as a role model who practices what they preach can remedy the bad habits built at home. With influence from my mother, who was a therapist, I decided to major in psychology and later earn a doctorate in behavioral psychology to share her “20/20 foresight” with other young black men. With additional influence from my experiences in that SEL class, I decided integrating courses aimed at teaching children in underprivileged neighborhoods social-emotional skills into the public school curriculum is a must. In the black community, we constantly utilize short-term and often harmful emotional practices. It’s like covering a piercing wound with a bandaid. This ‘out of sight, out of mind’ mentality we approach emotions has to stop. We have to start with our youth; they’re the most impressionable and will be in charge one day. If we can create a population of African American youth who understand their emotions, we can create a generation of people who become more successful and contribute more to society. But it all starts with “20/20 foresight’.

Today you’ll be taking a multiple-choice exam on Parental Loss. Context: Your mom was perfect. Rather, she was from behind the rose-colored glasses called childhood. She was a therapist for 25 years. Empathy and compassion were in her nature. She was larger than life and your hero, so “We lost your mom this morning” is the last thing you’d want to hear, that's why it’s seared into your memory of March 27th, 2021. You arrive at your mom’s apartment, there's no familiar feeling, and there’d never been this many people in your loft. Their positioning carved a path to her room, guiding you there like an usher in a silent church. You stop at the doorway and think, “She couldn’t have passed; the room's too bright for death.” You slump into the chair you’d placed next to her bed during your last visit, and you stare at her chest, waiting for it to rise, to show signs of breathing, of life, of anything but death. What is this an example of? A: Anger. B: Denial. C: Reconstruction & Working Through. D: Acceptance. The correct answer is B. Later that week you’re on the air mattress in your dad’s attic; no, it’s yours now. You’re laying on the air mattress in your attic, thinking of all the stress YOU caused your mother. Every time YOU were too loud, every time YOU didn’t respond, everything YOU could’ve done better, every decision YOU made that zapped her strength; strength she could've used to fight cancer. What is this an example of? A: Reconstruction & Working Through. B: Depression. C: Guilt. D: Upward Turn. The correct answer is C. You've always loved Philosophy but were raised by Christians, so Epicurus, the man who said God could not be omnipotent and omnibenevolent, was interesting. You used to disagree with Epicurus, but if God is omnibenevolent and omnipotent, why is your mom dead? Why would someone who knew cancer would fester in her, not stop it? It’s God’s fault. Yeah, God’s fault. What is this an example of? A: Upward Turn. B: Acceptance. C: Depression. D: Anger. The correct answer is D. Like every high school, yours holds homecoming. And annually, you go to your best friend Bryce's house. There's a depressing undertone this year, but that’s expected. The night is going smoothly, laughing and joking until you hear, “Turn around so I can take a picture”. It’s Bryce’s mom. Immediately it hits you; your mom will never be here for the important moments in your life, not one. Once you get in the school, you break down in the bathroom, blubbering, “She’s gone, she’s never coming back. She didn’t even see me turn eighteen.” What is this an example of? A: Denial. B: Depression. C: Guilt. D: Acceptance. The correct answer is B. You stop having as many extremely emotional moments and find yourself reflecting instead. Particularly the nights at the family’s house, hearing her infectious laughter as everyone drank and played cards. You feel like you can’t leave all that behind; you have to get back to your friends and family because they’re your support system. They’re what matters most. This change is an example of what? A: Upward Turn. B: Acceptance. C: Reconstruction & Working Through. D: Depression. The correct answer is A. Pre-med and Psychology have been the majors you couldn’t choose between since you were ten. And your mother was supposed to decide for you essentially, but considering she isn’t here…. Anyways, anytime you think about college, you find yourself with this "Mom pit" in your stomach. But you find that helps; she’s your inspiration and why you decided to major in Psychology. Between her working as a therapist and your mental health struggles since she passed, you decided want to aid others with their issues. What is this an example of? A: Reconstruction & Working Through. B: Depression. C: Guilt. D: Acceptance. The correct answer is A. My name is Tyler Tharpe, and I lost my mother when I was 16. I would love to say I’m happy, but everyone knows I’ll probably never get back to that point. Death always felt like this distant concept reserved for my grandparent’s cousins. To have it slam into you like a freight train is a feeling words cannot convey. But with that shock comes the stages of grief, each one changing me forever. In the end, I came out with a new appreciation for those close to me and a passion for following in my mom’s footsteps and becoming half the person she was. I’ve learned to accept what happened and make it a part of me and my ambitions. What stage of grief is the last sentence? A: Upward Turn. B: Acceptance. C: Anger. D: Depression. The correct answer is B.