When I was younger, I was separated from my mom at the age of six, and what followed was constant moving, lack of security and not feeling like I belonged anywhere. These feelings that I can describe and identify now as I write this essay, are feelings I could not explain or understand before I went to therapy. As a Black man who grew up in low income and predominantly Black neighborhood, mental health, being vulnerable, and opening up was not taught or encouraged for boys who look like me. We instead bottled up all of our emotions and never spoke about them, which means for some of us anger would be the only way we could express those feelings. For me, it was silence, which I grew to be very good at. But eventually that silence and numbness became pain, depression, and despair. If I did not make the decision to go to therapy, I would still be living with those feelings that negatively affected me mentally, physically, and emotionally. I would have let myself decay from the inside out if I did not have the courage to acknowledge that I needed help. Through therapy, I found an outlet to express myself unapologetically and authentically in a way I was not able to do before then. It allowed me to understand that it is okay to not be okay, it is okay to need help. And in doing so, I was able to work towards becoming a better version of myself. My journey with therapy and exploring the absence and void my mother left me with led me to discover my passion for mental health and now I am in my first year of my master's in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. I want to be another resource for my community and young boys and girls who look like me because in the mental health field there are not enough faces who we can feel comfortable with. I want to make a positive impact not only in the mental health field, but also for the BIPOC community who had to grow up with mental health being greatly stigmatized and disregarded. This is something I have already been able to do in my undergrad years at Union College as I created a men of color organization MAMBA (Men Assertively Manifesting Bold Alliances) that focused on prioritizing mental health, sense of belonging and challenging toxic masculinity in an environment where majority of the students did not look like us. Now I have graduated and the impact I left behind is still very present as other young men of color now have an outlet and safe space to be with others who share similar experiences as them. Ultimately, If I can use my experience and purpose to impact even one other human being who shares my struggles and looks like me, I will know that my journey was ultimately worth it.

When I think of how I can make a positive impact on mental health, I immediately think of my own mental health journey. At the start of my junior year of undergrad, I was depressed, struggling to stay motivated and handle all of my life tasks. I felt like life was catching up to me, and it did. When I was younger, I was separated from my mom at the age of six, and what followed was constant moving, lack of security and not feeling like I belonged anywhere. These feelings that I can describe and identify now as I write this essay, are feelings I could not explain or understand before I went to therapy. As a Black man who grew up in low income and predominately Black neighborhood, mental health, being vulnerable, and opening up was not taught or encouraged for boys who look like me. We instead bottled up all of our emotions and never spoke about them, which means for some of us anger would be the only way we could express those feelings. For me, it was silence, which I grew to be very good at. But eventually that silence and numbness became pain, depression, and despair. If I did not make the decision to go to therapy, I would still be living with those feelings that negatively affected me mentally, physically, and emotionally. I would have let myself decay from the inside out if I did not have the courage to acknowledge that I needed help. Through therapy, I found an outlet to express myself unapologetically and authentically in a way I was not able to do before then. It allowed me to understand that it is okay to not be okay, it is okay to need help. And in doing so, I was able to work towards becoming a better version of myself. My journey with therapy and exploring the absence and void my mother left me with led me to discover my passion for mental health and now I am in my first year of my master's in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. I want to be another resource for my community and young boys and girls who look like me because in the mental health field there are not enough faces who we can feel comfortable with. I want to make a positive impact not only in the mental health field, but also for the BIPOC community who had to grow up with mental health being greatly stigmatized and disregarded. This is something I have already been able to do in my undergrad years at Union College as I created a men of color organization MAMBA (Men Assertively Manifesting Bold Alliances) that focused on prioritizing mental health, sense of belonging and challenging toxic masculinity in an environment where majority of the students did not look like us. Now I have graduated and the impact I left behind is still very present as other young men of color now have an outlet and safe space to be with others who share similar experiences as them. Ultimately, If I can use my experience and purpose to impact even one other human being who shares my struggles and looks like me, I will know that my journey was ultimately worth it.

As a Rising Senior in college, I have had the opportunity to create a men of color organization on my campus that is dedicated to prioritizing men's mental health and healthy forms of manhood. The reason I decided to start this group is because it is extremely important that the BIPOC community starts to focus on mental health. Men Assertively Manifesting Bold Alliances (MAMBA) strives to create unity among men of color on our campus so we can become the best versions of ourselves through one another. This means we need to be able to be okay with being vulnerable and also know when we need help and how to pursue it. With 80 percent of therapists being white, it is extremely difficult to find one who looks like you, which is why it's crucial to have a support system and community of people who share similar experiences as you. So many men in this world are not taught that being vulnerable and showing your feelings is acceptable, so many of us have grown up most, and sometimes all of our lives with a hard shell and very stoic. So, with a group like MAMBA, I know it will have a positive impact on our community and make men feel more comfortable reaching out for help. While MAMBA may not directly make mental health care affordable or accessible, It will transform young men of color into men who are not afraid to reach out for help when they need it.