Volleyball is everything to me, and it has taught me so much about the types of character traits I possess. Getting there wasn’t very easy though. Here’s my story… If you’d told me when I was little I would struggle as a teenager, I never would’ve believed you. As I got older, though, things changed. I didn’t understand then, but I realize now I was coming to terms with being gay. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but my closed-minded peers didn’t make it easy for me. Because of this, my self-confidence was awful. I wanted to fit in. Anywhere. So I looked for acceptance in the wrong places. I chose “friends”, which led to problems at school and home. Eventually, thankfully, I was diagnosed with depression. If my parents and I hadn’t figured that out, I truly don’t know where I’d be right now. Or if I would even BE. During those times, volleyball was the one thing that made me genuinely happy. But I had to work to be able to play, and this is where I really developed determination. I have a very unique volleyball story because that small town I live in doesn’t offer it for boys. I had to play with girls two years older for the first three years. When I turned 15, I couldn’t play with girls anymore, so we had to find something different. My mom and I looked into it all over Colorado and made phone calls to every club that was even remotely close to us. What we found was a high school 60 miles away and a club team 95 miles away. That might have stopped many people. Driving an hour both ways for high school and an hour and a half one-way for club practices and games seems almost impossible to manage. But my parents knew how much it meant to me, and they realized that, at the time, it was the only thing that gave me confidence, something I desperately needed. We discussed it and decided to go for it!. Those drives to practices, games, and tournaments were loooonnnnnggg, but I’m proud to say that I was, and am, always the first to arrive and the last to leave. It took a lot of grit to make this happen. I don’t know many people who would have spent so much time just *getting* to the location where they will then need to give it their all physically. If I didn’t have such passion for volleyball, I don’t think I could have made this happen. All of this has impacted what I want to do in the future and how I want to make a difference. My ultimate goal is to run my own volleyball club, and I plan to get my degree in Business Administration/Sports Management to make this dream come true. If I’m lucky enough to receive this scholarship, the funds would go towards that. I want the kids who come into my club to feel the way I do when I’m on the court: strong, confident, and unstoppable! Besides just teaching them athletics, though, I also want them to learn character traits like empathy and consideration, traits that can be so impactful. Because of my experiences, I believe that my ability to show empathy has definitely grown and is going to help the kids at my club leave as better athletes and as better humans. Volleyball has absolutely made me who I am today, and I am so grateful it’s played such an important role in my life.

At only 18, I have already experienced some things that have greatly impacted my life, both academically and personally. If I didn’t have my mom there with me every step of the way, I don’t know where I would be right now. Or if I would even BE. Here’s my story… If you’d told me when I was little that I’d have mental health issues as a teenager, I never would’ve believed you. As I got older, things changed: I fought with my friends, did poorly in school, and I just wasn’t as happy. I didn’t understand then, but I realize now it’s because I was struggling with the fact that I was gay. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but I live in a small conservative town, I’m 6’5”, and I’m gay. To say I didn’t fit in is an understatement. Because of this, my self-confidence was awful. I wanted to fit in. Anywhere. So I found acceptance in the wrong places. I found “friends” who “accepted” me, but that led to problems at school and home. There were many times when I wanted to just hide in a cave, but my mom wouldn’t let me. She continually talked to doctors, therapists, and me. Even when I was shut down or lashing out she wouldn’t stop trying to reach me. She never EVER gave up on me, and it was she who helped me discover I had depression. It's because of this that I believe she saved my life. Literally. During all of that, volleyball was the one thing that made me genuinely happy, and my mom knew that, so she supported me in it. I have to explain my volleyball situation because it will help you understand how much work my mom put into it. I have a unique volleyball story because that small town I live in doesn’t offer it for boys. I had to play with girls two years older than I was for the first three years I played. The first year was on a team about 30 minutes away, so my mom had to take time off of work to get me there. After that, we had to find something different. What we found was a high school 55 miles away and a club team 95 miles away. My mom and I discussed it a lot, and we decided to make the investment, both financially and time-wise. Those days were filled with loooooooooooooong drives where she and I really bonded with each other. When I was younger, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do for a career, but that has changed because of my experiences and my mom. My ultimate dream is to have my own volleyball club. It’s not just going to be for the athletics, though. My mom is constantly saying that “everyone has a story”, and this will make a difference in how I run my club. Not only do I want to teach them about volleyball, I want to teach them empathy, confidence, and kindness. Traits I needed and that we all need so badly. I want my club to be that safe space for everyone. The kids at will leave as better athletes, and, more importantly, better humans. After learning about my depression diagnosis, my mom thought it would be a good idea for me to keep a gratitude journal. Thinking about the big and small things that I’m thankful to have in my life helps me see how lucky I am. I’m sure you can see why my mom is at the top of my list.

My personal experience with loss is luckily NOT one. Here’s my story… If you’d told me when I was little that I would struggle with drugs and depression as a teenager, I never would have believed you. As I got older, though, things changed: I got into arguments with friends, I started doing badly in school, and I didn’t smile or laugh as often. I didn’t understand why this was happening, but as I look back, I realize I was coming to terms with being gay. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but my peers didn’t make it easy for me. I’m 6’5”, gay, and I play a sport that guys don’t play in my small hometown: volleyball. I have always felt like an outsider. Understandably, my self-confidence was awful. I just wanted to fit in. Anywhere. So I looked for that sense of belonging in all the wrong places. I chose “friends” who would accept me, but that led to problems in both school and at home. I cut classes, had issues with teachers, and I lied to my parents all the time. There was one good thing that happened because of those awful times, though: I was diagnosed with depression. That diagnosis helped me understand why I struggled so much, why I never smiled anymore, and it helped me understand why I tried to commit suicide one night. If we hadn’t figured out that I need medication, I truly don’t know where I’d be right now. Or even if I would BE. That loss would have been unbearable for my parents, and I’m so thankful it didn’t happen. I’ve learned so much about how to control my depression. I’m dedicated to my daily medication routine, and I’ve visited with a therapist and mental health activity counselor. My mom has also talked to me about keeping a gratitude journal, and it’s helped too. Thinking about who and what I’m thankful to have in my life has helped me see how lucky I am, and it keeps me looking for the positives. I think this is something I could share with other kids to help them. As I mentioned earlier, I play volleyball. It’s my absolute passion in life. During all those hard times, it was one bright spot for me, and I truly believed it helped me overcome many of my problems. I’ve learned that finding your passion in life can be profound, and I would tell others to do the same. When I was younger, I didn’t know what I wanted to do, but that has changed because of what I’ve learned from my experiences. My ultimate goal is to have my own counseling practice where I can help kids with their struggles. Because I love being so active, I’d really like to be the type who does activities with the kids. I love cards, hiking, playing board games, and of course volleyball! I want to teach them coping skills and the importance of empathy, confidence, and kindness, traits we all need so badly. I think I’ll be great at this because I’m a very empathetic person and I bet I will have been through a lot of what they’re struggling with. I want my practice to be a place where they can go to avoid negative situations and to be an inviting and safe space for everyone. I’ve been through a lot, but I know the lessons I’ve learned along the way are going to make not only me a better person, but the kids in my community better people as well.

Playing my sport. That’s what makes me unique. Doesn’t sound too original, does it? There’s more to this story… If you’d told me when I was little I would struggle as a teenager, I never would’ve believed you. As I got older, though, things change. I didn’t understand it then, but I realize now I was coming to terms with being gay. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but my closed-minded peers didn’t make it easy for me. Because of this, my self-confidence was awful. I wanted to fit in. Anywhere. So I looked for acceptance in the wrong places. I chose “friends”, which led to problems at school and home. Eventually, thankfully, I was diagnosed with depression. If my parents and I hadn’t figured that out, I truly don’t know where I’d be right now. Or if I would even BE. During those times, volleyball was the one thing that made me genuinely happy. But I had to work to be able to play. I have a truly unique volleyball story because that small town I live in doesn’t offer it for boys. I had to play with girls two years older than me for the first three years, which was basically unheard of where I live. Everywhere I played, I had to produce a birth certificate, and my coaches had to go to bat for me many times against other coaches who didn’t think I was the right age. When I turned 15, I couldn’t play with girls anymore, so we had to find something different. We looked all over the state and made phone calls to every club that was fairly close to us. We couldn’t find anything except a high school 60 miles away and a club team 95 miles away. That might have stopped many people. Driving an hour both ways for high school and an hour and a half one-way for club practices and games seemed almost impossible to manage. But my parents knew how much it meant to me, and they realized it gave me confidence, something I needed very badly. So we discussed it and decided to make the investment, both financially and time-wise. Those drives to practices, games, and tournaments were loooonnnnnggg, but I’m proud to say that I was, and am, always the first to arrive and the last to leave. It took a lot of grit to make this happen. I don’t know many people who would have spent so much time just getting to the location where they will then need to give it their all physically. All of this has impacted what I want to do in the future and how I want to make a difference in my community. My ultimate goal is to run my own volleyball club, and I plan to get my degree in Business Administration/Sports Management to make this dream come true. If I’m lucky enough to receive this scholarship, the funds would go towards that. I want the kids who come into my club to feel the way I do when I’m on the court: strong, confident, and unstoppable! Besides just teaching them athletics, though, I also want them to learn character traits like empathy and consideration. Traits that can make such a difference to everyone. The kids will leave as better athletes and as better humans. I really believe the passion I have for volleyball is unique. I’ve had to work incredibly hard at it, but I wouldn’t change a thing. It’s helped me to become the person I am today.

“I feel confident when I’m high.” Dangerous words from a 16-year-old. Here’s my story… If you’d told me when I was little that I would have addiction issues, I never would’ve believed you. I was athletic, funny, confident, and I just loved life. As I got older, things changed: I fought with my friends, I started doing badly in school, and I wasn’t as happy. I didn’t understand why at the time, but as I look back, I realize I was coming to terms with being gay. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but the kids in my small hometown didn’t make it easy for me. I’m 6’5”, gay, and I play a sport guys don’t participate in in my small town: volleyball. I was an outcast. Because of this, my self-confidence was awful. I just wanted to fit in. Anywhere. So I looked for belonging in the wrong places. I chose “friends” who accepted me, but that came at a cost. I started doing pot, which led to problems in both school and at home. I cut classes, I had issues with teachers, and I lied to my parents constantly. When I was high, I felt like I had confidence. That’s what was most addicting. My parents finally figured out I was smoking and vaping. There were many arguments and tears, but one good thing that happened because of those awful times was it led to me being diagnosed with depression. Had we not figured out that I need to be on medication for it, I truly don’t know where I would be right now. Or if I would even BE. I am so grateful to my parents for helping me figure this out and to realize how important it is to get it treated. It was great we figured this out, but one of the side effects of pot is that it counteracted my antidepressant. I had to find a way to stop and to change that addiction to the false feeling of confidence pot gave me. I’m proud to say I figured it out! I’m dedicated to my medication routine, and I see a therapist and a mental health activity counselor. My mom has also talked to me about keeping a gratitude journal. Thinking about who and what I’m thankful to have in my life has helped me see how lucky I am, and it keeps me looking for the positives. My biggest breakthrough: I now feel more confident when I’m NOT high! When I was younger, I wasn’t sure what my career choice would be, but my experiences have made it clear. I want to get my Sports Management degree and own a volleyball club. My club won’t be for just athletics, though. My mom is constantly saying “everyone has a story”. Looking at me, you’d never what mine is, and this is true of everyone. She’s taught me we should be kind to every person, and this is going to make a difference in how I run my club. Not only will kids learn to be better athletes, they will learn to be better humans. They’ll be taught the skills of the game, and they will also learn how to show more empathy, confidence, and kindness. Traits that can make such a difference in someone’s life. It will be a place where they can get away from negative situations and feel safe and empowered. I’ve been through a lot, but I know the lessons I’ve learned along the way are going to make me, and the kids in my community, better because of it.

Integrity is everything! My mom says this all the time, and it’s so true. My character is incredibly important to me, and I’ve worked hard to show it in many areas of my life. Traits I’ve shown in volleyball: patience and kindness. I’ve been playing volleyball for eight years, and it’s definitely help me grow my character. My coach informed me last season I would be team captain this year and told me it’s because of my ability to include, encourage, and inspire others. I’m very proud of this. I really try to make sure everyone feels like they belong on the court and are doing their best on the bench too, myself included. I’m really enjoying this leadership role! Traits I’ve shown in my community: helpfulness and effort. My favorite volunteering experience is with the Morgan County Golden Stars. They’re a local organization that provides Christmas for struggling families. I helped shop for gifts and wrap them, but the best part, by far, was delivering them to the families, especially the little kids. It was a lot of work but it was worth it because it was so heartwarming to see their smiles. It also gave me a greater appreciation for what I have in my life. Traits I’ve shown in school: empathy and attentiveness. I go to an alternative school because the traditional high school setting just didn’t work for me. It’s a long story, but the end result is that it was the right decision. I love where I’m at now. The teachers are amazing, and the principal, Tanisha, takes a very active role with us as well. It was Tanisha who approached me about mentoring an incoming student. He was going through some of the same struggles I had faced, and Tanisha knew that I could offer him advice and just be a person to talk to. I’ve enjoyed sharing some of my experiences with him, and I know it’s helped him to hear that someone has faced similar problems. It’s good to know you’re not alone, and I’m happy to help him feel that way.

“I feel confident when I’m high.” Dangerous words from a 16-year-old. Here’s my story… If you’d told me when I was little that I would have addiction issues, I never would’ve believed you. I was athletic, funny, confident, and I just loved life. As I got older, things changed: I fought with my friends, I started doing badly in school, and I wasn’t as happy. I didn’t understand why at the time, but as I look back, I realize I was coming to terms with being gay. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but the kids in my small hometown didn’t make it easy for me. I’m 6’5”, gay, and I play a sport guys don’t participate in in my small town: volleyball. I was an outcast. Because of this, my self-confidence was awful. I just wanted to fit in. Anywhere. So I looked for belonging in the wrong places. I chose “friends” who accepted me, but that came at a cost. I started doing pot, which led to problems in both school and at home. I cut classes, I had issues with teachers, and I lied to my parents constantly. When I was high, I felt like I had confidence. That’s what was most addicting. My parents finally figured out I was smoking and vaping. There were many arguments and tears, but one good thing that happened because of those awful times was it led to me being diagnosed with depression. Had we not figured out that I need to be on medication for it, I truly don’t know where I would be right now. Or if I would even BE. I am so grateful to my parents for helping me figure this out and to realize how important it is to get it treated. It was great we figured this out, but one of the side effects of pot is that it counteracted my antidepressant. I had to find a way to stop and to change that addiction to the false feeling of confidence pot gave me. I’m proud to say I figured it out! I’m dedicated to my medication routine, and I see a therapist and a mental health activity counselor. My mom has also talked to me about keeping a gratitude journal. Thinking about who and what I’m thankful to have in my life has helped me see how lucky I am, and it keeps me looking for the positives. My biggest breakthrough: I now feel more confident when I’m NOT high! When I was younger, I wasn’t sure what my career choice would be, but my experiences have made it clear. I want to get my Sports Management degree and own a volleyball club. My club won’t be for just athletics, though. My mom is constantly saying “everyone has a story”. Looking at me, you’d never what mine is, and this is true of everyone. She’s taught me we should be kind to every person, and this is going to make a difference in how I run my club. Not only will kids learn to be better athletes, they will learn to be better humans. They’ll be taught the skills of the game, and they will also learn how to show more empathy, confidence, and kindness. Traits that can make such a difference in someone’s life. It will be a place where they can get away from negative situations and feel safe and empowered I’ve been through a lot, but I know the lessons I’ve learned along the way are going to make me, and the kids in my community, better because of it.

I didn’t have to think about this for even a second-the area in my life I’ve gone above and beyond for is volleyball. There’s a little bit more to it than you’re probably thinking though. Here’s my story… If you’d told me when I was little I would struggle as a teenager, I never would’ve believed you. As I got older, though, things change. I didn’t understand it then, but I realize now I was coming to terms with being gay. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but my closed-minded peers didn’t make it easy for me. Because of this, my self-confidence was awful. I wanted to fit in. Anywhere. So I looked for acceptance in the wrong places. I chose “friends”, which led to problems at school and home. Eventually, thankfully, I was diagnosed with depression. If my parents and I hadn’t figured that out, I truly don’t know where I’d be right now. Or if I would even BE. During those times, volleyball was the one thing that made me genuinely happy. But I had to work to be able to play. I have a truly unique volleyball story because that small town I live in doesn’t offer it for boys. I had to play with girls two years older than me for the first three years, which was basically unheard of where I live. Everywhere I played, I had to produce a birth certificate, and my coaches had to go to bat for me many times against other coaches who didn’t think I was the right age. When I turned 15, I couldn’t play with girls anymore, so we had to find something different. We looked all over the state and made phone calls to every club that was fairly close to us. We couldn’t find anything except a high school 60 miles away and a club team 95 miles away. That might have stopped many people. Driving an hour both ways for high school and an hour and a half one-way for club practices and games seemed almost impossible to manage. But my parents knew how much it meant to me, and they realized it gave me confidence, something I needed very badly. So we discussed it and decided to make the investment, both financially and time-wise. Those drives to practices, games, and tournaments were loooonnnnnggg, but I’m proud to say that I was, and am, always the first to arrive and the last to leave. It took a lot of grit to make this happen. I don’t know many people who would have spent so much time just getting to the location where they will then need to give it their all physically. All of this has impacted what I want to do in the future and how I want to make a difference in my community. My ultimate goal is to run my own volleyball club, and I plan to get my degree in Business Administration/Sports Management to make this dream come true. If I’m lucky enough to receive this scholarship, the funds would go towards that. I want the kids who come into my club to feel the way I do when I’m on the court: strong, confident, and unstoppable! Besides just teaching them athletics, though, I also want them to learn character traits like empathy and consideration. Traits that can make such a difference to everyone. The kids will leave as better athletes and as better humans. I’ve had to work incredibly hard at volleyball, but I wouldn’t change a thing. It’s helped me to become the person I am today.

Volleyball has been my safe place, and believe me when I tell you I needed one. Here’s my story… If you’d told me when I was little I would struggle as a teenager, I never would’ve believed you. I was SO happy! As I got older, things changed: I fought with my friends, did poorly in school, and I just wasn’t as happy. I didn’t understand it then, but I realize now I was coming to terms with being gay. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but my closed-minded peers didn’t make it easy for me. Because of this, my self-confidence was awful. I wanted to fit in. Anywhere. So I looked for acceptance in the wrong places. I chose “friends”, and that led to problems at school and home. Eventually, thankfully, I was diagnosed with depression. If my parents and I hadn’t figured that out, I truly don’t know where I’d be right now. Or if I would even BE. During those times, volleyball was the one thing that made me genuinely happy. I have a truly unique volleyball story because that small town I live in does not offer it for boys. I had to play with girls two years older than I was for the first three years. When I turned 15, I couldn’t do that anymore, so we had to find something different. What we found was a high school 55 miles away and a club team 95 miles away. My parents and I discussed it and decided to make the investment, both financially and time-wise. Those drives to practices, games, and tournaments were loooonnnnnggg, but they were actually pretty cool too. I’d do my homework, and we’d talk about everything-school, friends, and volleyball of course! That time in the car ended up being helpful with my academics, my sport, and my relationship with my parents. I’m so grateful for all the sacrifices they made so that I could do what I love most. Playing volleyball with all boys was just incredible and so different than playing with girls. Something neat about my high school experience is that I was on the inaugural men’s volleyball team. Not too many people can say that! For the first time, I really felt like I belonged, and it has brought me such happiness. Learning new techniques and playing at a higher level has helped to build my confidence, which I desperately needed. Self-confidence changed me because it gave me POWER. Power to be myself. Power to say no. Most importantly, the power to be happy. When I was younger, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do as a career, but that has changed because of volleyball. My ultimate dream, after playing in college and maybe even after that for a semi-pro or pro team (the Olympics!?) is to own a volleyball club. That’s the reason I am majoring in sports management/business administration. I would love to provide a space for kids to come and feel the way I do when I’m playing. Not only do I want to teach them about volleyball, I want to teach them empathy, confidence, and kindness. Traits I needed and that we all need so badly. I want my club to be a safe and empowering space for everyone. They will leave as better athletes and as better humans. I realize I’ve already said volleyball in this essay ten times! I could say it 100, and I don’t think it would be enough. It has just meant so much to me. I can’t imagine what my life would be like without it.

“I feel confident when I’m high.” Dangerous words from a 16-year-old. Here’s my story… If you’d told me when I was little that I would have addiction issues, I never would’ve believed you. I was athletic, funny, confident, and I just loved life. As I got older, things changed: I fought with my friends, I started doing badly in school, and I wasn’t as happy. I didn’t understand why at the time, but as I look back, I realize I was coming to terms with being gay. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but the kids in my small hometown didn’t make it easy for me. I’m 6’5”, gay, and I play a sport guys don’t participate in in my small town: volleyball. I was an outcast. Because of this, my self-confidence was awful. I just wanted to fit in. Anywhere. So I looked for belonging in the wrong places. I chose “friends” who accepted me, but that came at a cost. I started doing pot, which led to problems in both school and at home. I cut classes, I had issues with teachers, and I lied to my parents constantly. When I was high, I felt like I had confidence. That’s what was most addicting. My parents finally figured out I was smoking and vaping. There were many arguments and tears, but one good thing that happened because of those awful times was it led to me being diagnosed with depression. Had we not figured out that I need to be on medication for it, I truly don’t know where I would be right now. Or if I would even BE. I am so grateful to my parents for helping me figure this out and to realize how important it is to get it treated. It was great we figured this out, but one of the side effects of pot is that it counteracted my antidepressant. I had to find a way to stop and to change that addiction to the false feeling of confidence pot gave me. I’m proud to say I figured it out! I’m dedicated to my medication routine, and I see a therapist and a mental health activity counselor. My mom has also talked to me about keeping a gratitude journal. Thinking about who and what I’m thankful to have in my life has helped me see how lucky I am, and it keeps me looking for the positives. My biggest breakthrough: I now feel more confident when I’m NOT high! When I was younger, I wasn’t sure what my career choice would be, but my experiences have made it clear. I want to get my Sports Management degree and own a volleyball club. My club won’t be for just athletics, though. My mom is constantly saying “everyone has a story”. Looking at me, you’d never what mine is, and this is true of everyone. She’s taught me we should be kind to every person, and this is going to make a difference in how I run my club. Not only will kids learn to be better athletes, they will learn to be better humans. They’ll be taught the skills of the game, and they will also learn how to show more empathy, confidence, and kindness. Traits that can make such a difference in someone’s life. It will be a place where they can get away from negative situations and feel safe and empowered I’ve been through a lot, but I know the lessons I’ve learned along the way are going to make me, and the kids in my community, better because of it.

A lack of empathy. That's what's had a huge impact on me, and it has shaped the way I personally want to impact this world. My mom always says that everyone has a story, and I didn’t understand how true and impactful this is until I created my own. Here’s my story… If you’d told me when I was little that I would struggle as a teenager, I never would’ve believed you. I was confident, funny, friendly, and just SO happy! As I got older, things changed: I fought with my friends, I did worse in school, and I didn’t smile or laugh as often. I didn't understand it then, but I realize now it’s because I was coming to terms with the fact that I'm gay. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but I live in a small rural town, I’m 6’5” and gay. To say I didn’t (and don’t) fit in is an understatement. Because of this, my self-confidence was awful. I wanted to fit in. Anywhere. So I found acceptance in the wrong place. I chose “friends” who “accepted” me, but that led to problems in school and at home. They did everything in their power to make me feel LESS THAN. I definitely did not receive any kind of empathy from them. Eventually, thankfully, I found friends who love me unconditionally for who I am. If I hadn’t found them, I truly don’t know where I’d be right now. Or even if I would BE. That's how dark it got. Looking at me, you’d never know about all of my experiences, and this is true of everyone! There is no way to remedy this except to start with ourselves, and this is how I plan to make a difference. With EMPATHY. We need to remember to be empathetic and to be kind to every person, even if they appear happy, because they more than likely have something going on in their own lives that is weighing on their minds. The smallest acts of kindness can make such a huge difference in someone’s life. A smile, a hello, listening-all of these could make an impact. I play volleyball. It is my absolute passion in life. During all those hard times, it was one bright spot for me, and I truly believed it helped me overcome many of my problems. I’ve learned that finding your passion in life can be profound, and I would tell others to do the same. It’s something you can turn to when things feel hopeless, and it can make a difference in the healing process. When I was younger, I would’ve told you that I wanted to be a chef or restaurant owner, but that has changed because of what I’ve learned from my experiences. My ultimate goal is to own a volleyball club. I plan to major in sports management/ business administration to make that vision come true. I’d love to provide a space for kids to come and feel the way I do when I’m playing. Not only do I want to teach them about volleyball though, but I also want to teach them about the importance of empathy, confidence, and kindness, traits I could have benefited from, and traits we all need so badly. I’ve learned that I’m a very empathetic person, and I want to share that with the kids at my club to help make it that empowering and safe space for everyone. Empathy can change the world, and it can start with me.

Volleyball has been my safe place, and believe me when I tell you I needed one! If you’d told me when I was little that I’d have mental health issues as a teenager, I never would’ve believed you. I was SO happy! As I got older, things changed: I fought with my friends, did poorly in school, and I just wasn’t as happy. I realize now it’s because I was struggling with the fact that I‘m gay. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but I live in a small conservative town, I’m 6’5”, and I’m gay. To say I didn’t fit in is an understatement. Because of this, my self-confidence was awful. I wanted to fit in. Anywhere. So I found acceptance in the wrong places. I chose “friends” who “accepted” me, but that led to problems at school and home. Eventually, thankfully, I was diagnosed with depression. Had I not figured that out, I truly don’t know where I’d be right now. Or even if I would BE. During all of that, volleyball was the one thing that made me genuinely happy. I have a truly unique volleyball story because that small town I live in does not offer it for boys. I had to play with girls two years older than I was for the first three years. When I turned 15, I couldn’t do that anymore, so we had to find something different. What we found was a high school 55 miles away and a club team 95 miles away. My parents and I discussed it a lot, and we decided to invest, both financially and time-wise. Those drives to practice were LONG, but they were pretty cool too. I think it helped me and my parents build a better relationship. We’d talk about everything-school, friends, and volleyball of course! Those long drives ended up being helpful with my sports, and I truly believe I am closer to both my mom and my dad because of them. Playing volleyball with all boys was just incredible and so different from my past experiences playing with girls. Learning new techniques and playing at that level helped to build my confidence. I remember my coach, Ryan, got mad at me one night because I kept tipping the ball over the net, instead of swinging for a kill. I was doing that because I was afraid I would hit it into the net, but he told me he’d rather see me try and miss 100 times rather than tip it over. I finally got it of course, and that is one memory I have of really becoming more confident, which I desperately needed. Self-confidence can truly change someone because it gives them POWER. Volleyball has done that for me, and I am so grateful. When I was younger, I would've told you that I wanted to be a chef or restaurant owner, but that has changed because of volleyball. My ultimate dream is to own a volleyball club. That’s the main reason I am majoring in sports management/business administration. I'd love to provide a space for kids to come and feel the way I do when I’m playing. Not only do I want to teach them about volleyball, though. I also want to teach them empathy, confidence, and kindness. Traits we all need so badly. I want my club to be an empowering and safe space for everyone. Volleyball has just meant so much to me, and I can’t imagine what my life would be like without it.

Depression has changed my life for the better! At only 17, the issues I've had with my mental health have already greatly impacted my life, and I know they will influence my future too. Here’s my story… If you’d told me when I was little that I’d have mental health issues as a teenager, I never would’ve believed you. I was SO happy! As I got older, things changed: I fought with my friends, did poorly in school, and I just wasn’t as happy. I realize now it’s because I was struggling with the fact that I was gay. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but I live in a small conservative town, I’m 6’5”, and I’m gay. To say I didn’t fit in is an understatement. Because of this, my self-confidence was awful. I wanted to fit in. Anywhere. So I found acceptance in the wrong places. I chose “friends” who “accepted” me, but that led to problems at school and home. I started cutting classes on a regular basis, and that, of course, caused arguments and blow-ups with my parents. This had a profound effect on the relationship I have with my parents. There were many times when I wanted to just hide in a cave, but they wouldn’t let me. They continually talked to doctors, therapists, and me. Even when I was shut down they wouldn’t stop trying to reach me, to be there for me, to encourage me, and just to love me. Eventually, thankfully, I was diagnosed with depression. Had we not figured that out, I truly don’t know where I’d be right now. Or even if I would BE. Because of them, I am now dedicated to a daily medication routine, and they also helped me find a counselor I'm comfortable with. They realize that sometimes I just need to talk to someone outside the family, and they respect that. I was afraid it would hurt their feelings, but they tell me they just want me to be happy. I appreciate that they give me that freedom. I also appreciate how much they have supported my being gay. I’ve heard horror stories from my friends about how their parents tried to “talk them out of it” or just refused to acknowledge it. My parents accept me for every bit of who I am, and I know they always will. During all of the bad times I mentioned before, volleyball was the one thing that made me genuinely happy. My parents knew that, so they supported me in it. I have a unique volleyball story because that small town I live in does not offer it for boys. I had to play with girls two years older than I was for the first three years I played, and the first year was on a team about 30 minutes away. When I turned 15, I couldn’t play with girls anymore, so we had to find something different. What we found was a high school 55 miles away and a club team 95 miles away. My parents and I discussed it a lot, and we decided to make the investment, both financially and time-wise. Those drives to practice were LONG. To get to club practice it was 90 minutes one way, and for high school, it was an hour. There were many, many late nights, and my parents had to skip a lot of work to make them happen. But they never complained, and some great things came out of them. Of course I was able to improve in my sport, but another great benefit was that it made such a difference in our relationship. We’d talk about everything-school, friends, and volleyball of course! Those long drives with my parents ended up being helpful with my school, my sport, and I truly believe I’m closer to Mo and Dad because of them. When I was younger, I would have told you that I wanted to be a chef or restaurant owner, but that has changed. My ultimate dream is to manage my own volleyball club. Because of my experiences with mental health, though, it's going to be a little different. My mom is constantly saying that “everyone has a story”. Looking at me, you’d never what mine is. There’s no way that you could, and this is true of everyone. She’s taught me that we should be kind to every person, and this is going to make a difference in my beliefs about how my club should be run. Not only do I want to teach them how to be better volleyball players, but I also want to teach them to be better humans. They will be taught volleyball skills, and they will also learn how to show more empathy, confidence, and kindness. Traits I needed and that we all need so badly. I want my club to be that safe space for everyone. After learning about my depression diagnosis, my mom thought it would be a good idea for me to keep a gratitude journal. Thinking about the big and small things that I’m thankful to have in my life has helped me see how lucky I am, and it keeps me looking for the positives. I now view my experiences with depression as a good thing, believe it or not. I'm so grateful for the impact it's had on my relationship with my parents and the way it's shaped what I want to do in the future.

I know exactly what goal I want to accomplish after I graduate from college: I want to own a volleyball club. My past experiences have played a big part in this. Here’s my story… If you’d told me when I was little I would have mental health issues as a teenager, I never would’ve believed you. I was just the happiest little boy! As I got older, though, things changed: I got into arguments with friends, I started doing badly in school, and I didn’t smile or laugh as often. I didn’t understand why this was happening, but looking back I realize I was struggling with the fact that I’m gay. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but my small hometown didn’t make it easy for me. I’m 6’5”, gay, and I play volleyball. To say I didn’t fit in is an understatement. Because of this, my self-confidence was awful. I wanted to fit in. Anywhere. So I found acceptance in the wrong place. I found “friends” who “accepted” me, but that led to problems in school and at home. I should’ve been able to see they weren’t good for me, but I just couldn’t. Eventually, thankfully, I was diagnosed with depression. Had I not figured out that I need medication to help control it, I truly don’t know where I’d be right now. Or even if I would BE. During those times, volleyball was one thing that made me genuinely happy, and so my parents and I worked to support it. This is one reason I know I will reach my goal of having a volleyball club: I have so much passion and grit when it comes to this sport that I love. I have to explain my volleyball situation because it will help you understand how much time and effort it actually took to make it happen. That small town I live in doesn’t offer volleyball for boys. I had to play with girls two years older than I was for the first three years, but when I turned 15, I couldn’t do that anymore. So we had to find something different, and that turned out to be a high school 55 miles away and a club team 95 miles away. We all knew it would be a HUGE commitment, but we decided to make the investment, both financially and time-wise. When I was younger, I would’ve told you that I wanted to be a chef or restaurant owner. Because of volleyball having such an impact on me, that changed to running a club of my own. I’ll be playing in college, and I know that will help me both academically, because of eligibility, and just learning more about the game. My club will be open to boys and girls, and I believe because I played with both, I can offer a different setting than other clubs. Not only do I want to teach them how to be better athletes, I also want to teach them how to be better humans. They’ll be taught volleyball skills, and they’ll also learn how to show more empathy, confidence, and kindness. Traits that can make a big difference in someone’s life. I want my club to be that empowering and safe space for everyone. I will absolutely make this happen.

If you had told me when I was little that I would have mental health issues as a teenager, I absolutely never would have believed you. I was the happiest little boy around. I was athletic, funny, confident, cute, friendly, and I just loved life. As I got older, things started to change: I got into arguments with friends, I started doing badly in school, and I didn’t smile or laugh as often. I didn’t understand why this was happening, but my parents did. They realized when I was about four or five that I was (am) gay. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but my hometown did not make it easy for me. I live in a rural town of less than 15,000 people, where agriculture and conservatism are king. I’m 6’5”, gay, and I play volleyball. To say I didn’t fit in is definitely an understatement. Because of this, my self-confidence was awful, and I think we all know that that is where problems begin. I wanted to fit in. Anywhere. So I started looking for acceptance in the wrong places. I chose “friends” that would accept me, but that came at a cost. I started smoking pot, which led to problems in both school and at home. I cut classes, I had issues with teachers, and I lied to my parents all the time. It took almost two years, but my parents finally figured out what was going on with me. There were many arguments and tears, but I will say that one good thing that happened because of those awful times was it led to me being diagnosed with depression. That diagnosis helped me to understand why I would get so frustrated at little things. It helped me to understand why I didn’t smile anymore. And it helped me to understand why I actually tried to commit suicide one night. Had I not figured out that I need medication to help me control my depression, I truly don’t know where I would be right now. Or even if I would BE. I am so grateful to my parents for helping me figure this out and to realize how important it is to get it treated. Because of my experience with this, the principal at my school asked me to be a mentor to a new student. He is clearly trying to figure out who he is as a person, and she thinks I’ll be able to help him with that. She knows how much I struggled with my own identity and doesn't want him to go through those same scary issues. I have been talking to him every day, and we are building a friendship. I want him to be able to trust me so I can be a safe place for him. I will continue to do this throughout our senior year and hope to remain in touch with him after high school. This is helping me too. It always feels good to be kind to others. I wish more people knew that one way we can lift ourselves up is by lifting up others. Like Aesop said, "No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted."

If you had told me when I was little that I would have mental health issues as a teenager, I absolutely never would have believed you. I was the happiest little boy around. I was athletic, funny, confident, cute, friendly, and I just loved life. As I got older, things started to change: I got into arguments with friends, I started doing badly in school, and I didn’t smile or laugh as often. I didn’t understand why this was happening, but my parents did. They realized when I was about four or five that I was (am) gay. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but my hometown did not make it easy for me. I live in a rural town of less than 15,000 people, where agriculture and conservatism are everywhere. I’m 6’5”, gay, and I play volleyball, something that doesn't exist for men in my town. . To say I didn’t fit in is definitely an understatement. Because of this, my self-confidence was awful, and I think we all know that that is where problems begin. I wanted to fit in. Anywhere. So I started looking for acceptance in the wrong places. I chose “friends” that would accept me, but that came at a cost. I started smoking pot, which led to problems in both school and at home. I cut classes, I had issues with teachers, and I lied to my parents all the time. It took almost two years, but my parents finally figured out what was going on with me. There were many arguments and tears, but I will say that one good thing that happened because of those awful times was it led to me being diagnosed with depression. That diagnosis helped me to understand why I would get so frustrated at little things. It helped me to understand why I didn’t smile anymore. And it helped me to understand why I actually tried to commit suicide one night. Had I not figured out that I need medication to help me control my depression, I truly don’t know where I would be right now. Or even if I would BE. I am so grateful to my parents for helping me figure this out and to realize how important it is to get it treated. I am dedicated to my daily medication regimen, and I am also working with a therapist and a mental health activity counselor. I talk with the therapist in the office once a month, and I meet with an activity counselor, Alondra, weekly. Alondra is a bit different from a regular counselor because we don’t just sit inside an office to talk, we actually go outside to play volleyball, hike, or sometimes we play Cribbage. It’s actually pretty cool. She has also done some acupuncture with me that is supposed to help with sleep issues and anxiety. I definitely want to continue that with her too. My mom has also talked to me about keeping a gratitude journal. Thinking about the big and small things that I am thankful to have in my life has helped me see how lucky I am, and it keeps me looking for the positives. I have also learned that I need to talk to and trust my parents more. They want me to reach out to them if I feel like I'm in a bad place. I know they're HERE for me. I am very lucky that they love me so fiercely and unconditionally. Every day I am working to feel the same way about myself. I am getting there slowly but surely.

Volleyball has been my safe place, and believe me when I tell you I needed one! If you’d told me when I was little that I’d have mental health issues as a teenager, I never would’ve believed you. I was SO happy! As I got older, things changed: I fought with my friends, did poorly in school, and I just wasn’t as happy. I realize now it’s because I was struggling with the fact that I was gay. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but I live in a small conservative town, I’m 6’5”, and I’m gay. To say I didn’t fit in is an understatement. Because of this, my self-confidence was awful. I wanted to fit in. Anywhere. So I found acceptance in the wrong places. I found “friends” who “accepted” me, but that led to problems at school and home. Eventually, thankfully, I was diagnosed with depression. Had I not figured that out, I truly don’t know where I’d be right now. Or even if I would BE. During all of that, volleyball was the one thing that made me genuinely happy. I have a unique volleyball story because that small town I live in doesn't offer it for boys. I had to play with girls two years older than I was for the first three years. When I turned 15, I couldn’t do that anymore, so we had to find something different. What we found was a high school 55 miles away and a club team 95 miles away. My parents and I discussed it a lot, and we decided to make the investment, both financially and timewise. Those drives to practice were LONG, but they were actually pretty cool too. I think it helped me and my parents build a better relationship. We’d talk about everything-school, friends, and volleyball of course! I really do believe we’re all closer because of them. Playing volleyball with all boys was just incredible and so different than my past experiences playing with girls. One really cool thing about the high school I play for is that I was on the inaugural men’s volleyball team. Not too many people can say that! Learning new techniques and playing at that level helped to build my confidence. I remember my coach, Ryan, got mad at me one night because I kept tipping the ball over the net, instead of swinging for a kill. I was doing that because I was afraid I would hit it into the net, but he told me he’d rather see me try and miss 100 times rather than tip it over. I finally got it of course, and that is one memory I have of really becoming more confident, which I desperately needed. Self-confidence can truly change someone because it gives them POWER. Power to be themselves, power to say no, and, most importantly, power to be happy. My ultimate dream, after playing in college and maybe even after that for a semi-pro or pro team (the Olympics!?) is to own my own volleyball club. I would love to provide a space for kids to come and feel the way I do when I’m playing. Not only do I want to teach them about volleyball, I want to teach them empathy, confidence, and kindness. Things we all need so badly. I want my club to be that safe space for everyone. I can’t wait! I realize I’ve already said volleyball in this essay nine times! I could say it 100 times, and I don’t think it would be enough. It has just meant so much to me.

A fresh start and a path to a new life. That’s the biggest reason higher education is important to me. I’ve had a hard time, and I’m looking forward to a reset. If you had told me when I was little I was going to have mental health issues as a teenager, I never would have believed you. I was the happiest little boy around. I was athletic, funny, confident, and I just loved life. As I got older, things started to change: I got into arguments with friends, I started doing badly in school, and I just wasn’t as happy. I didn’t understand why this was happening, but my parents did. They realized when I was really young that I was (am) gay. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but my hometown didn’t make it easy for me. I live in a rural town of less than 15,000, where agriculture and conservatism are king. I’m 6’5”, gay, and I play volleyball. To say I didn’t fit in is an understatement. Because of this, my self-confidence was awful, and I think we all know that’s where problems begin. I wanted to fit in. Anywhere. So I started looking for acceptance in the wrong places. I chose “friends” that would accept me, but that came at a cost. I cut classes, had issues with teachers, and I lied to my parents constantly. It took almost two years, but my parents finally figured out what was going on with me. I could tell you about the many blow ups, arguments, and tears that happened, but it is not something I like to remember. Eventually I was diagnosed with depression, and getting that treated has made a huge difference to me and my family. I'm excited for this new chapter in my life. College will change my life both academically and mentally. As I said, high school has been tough, and I'm ready for a change. I will be playing volleyball in college, and I know being part of a team will be life changing. I want to surround myself with people who will motivate me to be BETTER. Better in school. Better with my confidence. Better in my sport. Just BETTER. My ultimate dream, after playing in college and maybe even after that for a semi-pro or pro team (the Olympics!?) is to own my own volleyball club. This is the main reason I'm pursuing a college degree. I would love to provide a space for kids to come and feel the way I do when I’m playing. Not only do I want to teach them about volleyball, I want to teach them empathy, confidence, and kindness. Things we all need so badly. I want my club to be that safe space for everyone. I'm not going to be able to make my dream happen unless I have a college degree, that higher education, so I know how to manage it. I know it will be hard work, but I can’t wait!

A fresh start and a path to a new life. That’s the biggest reason I’m excited about college. I’ve had a hard time, and I’m looking forward to a reset. If you had told me when I was little I was going to have mental health issues as a teenager, I never would have believed you. I was the happiest little boy around. I was athletic, funny, confident, and I just loved life. As I got older, things started to change: I got into arguments with friends, I started doing badly in school, and I just wasn’t as happy. I didn’t understand why this was happening, but my parents did. They realized when I was really young that I was (am) gay. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but my hometown didn’t make it easy for me. I live in a rural town of less than 15,000, where agriculture and conservatism are king. I’m 6’5”, gay, and I play volleyball. To say I didn’t fit in is an understatement. Because of this, my self-confidence was awful, and I think we all know that’s where problems begin. I wanted to fit in. Anywhere. So I started looking for acceptance in the wrong places. I chose “friends” that would accept me, but that came at a cost. I cut classes, had issues with teachers, and I lied to my parents constantly. It took almost two years, but my parents finally figured out what was going on with me. I could tell you about the many blow ups, arguments, and tears that happened, but it is not something I like to remember. Eventually I was diagnosed with depression, and getting that treated has made a huge difference to me and my family. I'm excited for this new chapter in my life. College will change my life both academically and mentally. As I said, high school has been tough, and I'm ready for a change. I will be playing volleyball in college, and I know being part of a team will be life changing. I want to surround myself with people who will motivate me to be BETTER. Better in school. Better with my confidence. Better in my sport. Just BETTER. My ultimate dream, after playing in college and maybe even after that for a semi-pro or pro team (the Olympics!?) is to own my own volleyball club. This is the main reason I'm pursuing a college degree. I would love to provide a space for kids to come and feel the way I do when I’m playing. Not only do I want to teach them about volleyball, I want to teach them empathy, confidence, and kindness. Things we all need so badly. I want my club to be that safe space for everyone. I'm not going to be able to make my dream happen unless I have a college degree so I know how to manage it. I know it will be hard work, but I can’t wait!

The most important person in the world you need to be kind to is YOU. If you can't do that, then you can't spread that kindness to others. Luckily, I have been able to find that within myself... If you had told me when I was little that I would have mental health issues as a teenager, I absolutely never would have believed you. I was the happiest little boy around. I was athletic, funny, confident, cute, friendly, and I just loved life. As I got older, things started to change: I got into arguments with friends, I started doing badly in school, and I didn’t smile or laugh as often. I didn’t understand why this was happening, but my parents did. They realized when I was about four or five that I was (am) gay. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but my hometown did not make it easy for me. I live in a rural town of less than 15,000 people, where agriculture and conservatism are king. I’m 6’5”, gay, and I play volleyball. To say I didn’t fit in is definitely an understatement. Because of this, my self-confidence was awful, and I think we all know that that is where problems begin. I wanted to fit in. Anywhere. So I started looking for acceptance in the wrong places. I chose “friends” that would accept me, but that came at a cost. I started smoking pot, which led to problems in both school and at home. I cut classes, I had issues with teachers, and I lied to my parents all the time. It took almost two years, but my parents finally figured out what was going on with me. There were many arguments and tears, but I will say that one good thing that happened because of those awful times was it led to me being diagnosed with depression. That diagnosis helped me to understand why I would get so frustrated at little things. It helped me to understand why I didn’t smile anymore. And it helped me to understand why I actually tried to commit suicide one night. Had I not figured out that I need medication to help me control my depression, I truly don’t know where I would be right now. Or even if I would BE. I am so grateful to my parents for helping me figure this out and to realize how important it is to get it treated. Because of my experience with this, the principal at my school asked me to be a mentor to a new student. He is clearly trying to figure out who he is as a person, and she thinks I’ll be able to help him with that. She knows how much I struggled with my own identity and doesn't want him to go through those same scary issues. I have been talking to him every day, and we are building a friendship. I want him to be able to trust me so I can be a safe place for him. I will continue to do this throughout our senior year and hope to remain in touch with him after high school. This is helping me too. It always feels good to be kind to others. I wish more people knew that one way we can lift ourselves up is by lifting up others. Like Aesop said, "No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted."

Volleyball has been my safe place, and believe me when I tell you I needed one! If you’d told me when I was little that I’d have mental health issues as a teenager, I never would’ve believed you. I was SO happy! As I got older, things changed: I fought with my friends, did poorly in school, and I just wasn’t as happy. I realize now it’s because I was struggling with the fact that I was gay. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but I live in a small conservative town, I’m 6’5”, and I’m gay. To say I didn’t fit in is an understatement. Because of this, my self-confidence was awful. I wanted to fit in. Anywhere. So I found acceptance in the wrong places. I found “friends” who “accepted” me, but that led to problems at school and home. Eventually, thankfully, I was diagnosed with depression. Had I not figured that out, I truly don’t know where I’d be right now. Or even if I would BE. During all of that, volleyball was the one thing that made me genuinely happy. I have a unique volleyball story because that small town I live in does not offer it for boys. I had to play with girls two years older than I was for the first three years. When I turned 15, I couldn’t do that anymore, so we had to find something different. What we found was a high school 55 miles away and a club team 95 miles away. My parents and I discussed it a lot, and we decided to make the investment, both financially and timewise. Those drives to practice were LONG, but they were actually pretty cool too. I think it helped me and my parents build a better relationship. We’d talk about everything-school, friends, and volleyball of course! I really do believe we’re all closer because of them. Playing volleyball with all boys was just incredible and so different than my past experiences playing with girls. One really cool thing about the high school I play for is that I was on the inaugural men’s volleyball team. Not too many people can say that! Learning new techniques and playing at that level helped to build my confidence. I remember my coach, Ryan, got mad at me one night because I kept tipping the ball over the net, instead of swinging for a kill. I was doing that because I was afraid I would hit it into the net, but he told me he’d rather see me try and miss 100 times rather than tip it over. I finally got it of course, and that is one memory I have of really becoming more confident, which I desperately needed. Self-confidence can truly change someone because it gives them POWER. Power to be themselves. Power to say no. Most importantly, the power to be happy. My ultimate dream, after playing in college and maybe after that for a semi-pro or pro team (the Olympics!?) is to own a volleyball club. I would love to provide a comfortable place for kids to come and feel the way I do when I’m playing. Not only do I want to teach them about volleyball, I want to teach them empathy, confidence, and kindness. Things we all need so badly. I want my club to be that safe space for everyone. I can’t wait! I realize I’ve already said volleyball in this essay nine times! I could say it 100 times, and I don’t think it would be enough. It has just meant so much to me.

If you had told me when I was little that I would have mental health issues as a teenager, I absolutely never would have believed you. I was the happiest little boy around. I was athletic, funny, confident, cute, friendly, and I just loved life. As I got older, things started to change: I got into arguments with friends, I started doing badly in school, and I didn’t smile or laugh as often. I didn’t understand why this was happening, but my parents did. They realized when I was about four or five that I was (am) gay. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but my hometown did not make it easy for me. I live in a rural town of less than 15,000 people, where agriculture and conservatism are king. I’m 6’5”, gay, and I play volleyball. To say I didn’t fit in is definitely an understatement. Because of this, my self-confidence was awful, and I think we all know that that is where problems begin. I wanted to fit in. Anywhere. So I started looking for acceptance in the wrong places. I chose “friends” that would accept me, but that came at a cost. I started smoking pot, which led to problems in both school and at home. I cut classes, I had issues with teachers, and I lied to my parents all the time. It took almost two years, but my parents finally figured out what was going on with me. There were many arguments and tears, but I will say that one good thing that happened because of those awful times was it led to me being diagnosed with depression. That diagnosis helped me to understand why I would get so frustrated at little things. It helped me to understand why I didn’t smile anymore. And it helped me to understand why I actually tried to commit suicide one night. Had I not figured out that I need medication to help me control my depression, I truly don’t know where I would be right now. Or even if I would BE. I am so grateful to my parents for helping me figure this out and to realize how important it is to get it treated. Because of my experience with this, the principal at my school asked me to be a mentor to a new student. He is clearly trying to figure out who he is as a person, and she thinks I’ll be able to help him with that. She knows how much I struggled with my own identity and doesn't want him to go through those same scary issues. I have been talking to him every day, and we are building a friendship. I want him to be able to trust me so I can be a safe place for him. I will continue to do this throughout our senior year and hope to remain in touch with him after high school. This is helping me too. It always feels good to be kind to others. I wish more people knew that one way we can lift ourselves up is by lifting up others. Like Aesop said, "No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted."

Mental growth has not only changed my life this year, it has SAVED it. If you had told me when I was little that I would have mental health issues as a teenager, I absolutely never would have believed you. I was the happiest little boy around. I was athletic, funny, confident, cute, friendly, and I just loved life. As I got older, things started to change: I got into arguments with friends, I started doing badly in school, and I didn’t smile or laugh as often. I didn’t understand why this was happening, but my parents did. They realized when I was about four or five that I was (am) gay. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but my hometown did not make it easy for me. I live in a rural town of less than 15,000 people, where agriculture and conservatism are king. I’m 6’5”, gay, and I play volleyball. To say I didn’t fit in is definitely an understatement. Because of this, my self-confidence was awful, and I think we all know that that is where problems begin. I wanted to fit in. Anywhere. So I started looking for acceptance in the wrong places. I chose “friends” that would accept me, but that came at a cost. I started smoking pot, which led to problems in both school and at home. I cut classes, I had issues with teachers, and I lied to my parents all the time. It took almost two years, but my parents finally figured out what was going on with me. There were many arguments and tears, but I will say that one good thing that happened because of those awful times was it led to me being diagnosed with depression. That diagnosis helped me to understand why I would get so frustrated at little things. It helped me to understand why I didn’t smile anymore. And it helped me to understand why I actually tried to commit suicide one night. Had I not figured out that I need medication to help me control my depression, I truly don’t know where I would be right now. Or even if I would BE. I am so grateful to my parents for helping me figure this out and to realize how important it is to get it treated. My parents' love for me has never changed one bit through all of this. I am dedicated to my daily medication regimen, and something new I'm trying is working with a therapist and a mental health activity counselor. I talk with the therapist in the office once a month, and I meet with the activity counselor, Alondra, weekly. Alondra is a bit different from a regular counselor because we don’t just sit inside an office to talk, we actually go outside to play volleyball, hike, or sometimes we play Cribbage. It’s actually pretty cool. She has also done some acupuncture with me that is supposed to help with sleep issues and anxiety. I definitely want to continue that with her too. My mom has also talked to me about keeping a gratitude journal. Thinking about the big and small things that I am thankful to have in my life has helped me see how lucky I am, and it keeps me looking for the positives. I have also learned that I need to talk to and trust my parents more. I am very lucky that they love me so fiercely and unconditionally. Every day I am working to feel the same way about myself. I am getting there slowly but surely.

A fresh start. That’s the biggest reason I’m excited about college. I’ve had a hard time, and I’m looking forward to a reset. If you had told me when I was little I was going to have mental health issues as a teenager, I never would have believed you. I was the happiest little boy around. I was athletic, funny, confident, and I just loved life. As I got older, things started to change: I got into arguments with friends, I started doing badly in school, and I just wasn’t as happy. I didn’t understand why this was happening, but my parents did. They realized when I was really young that I was (am) gay. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but my hometown didn’t make it easy for me. I live in a rural town of less than 15,000, where agriculture and conservatism are king. I’m 6’5”, gay, and I play volleyball. To say I didn’t fit in is an understatement. Because of this, my self-confidence was awful, and I think we all know that’s where problems begin. I wanted to fit in. Anywhere. So I started looking for acceptance in the wrong places. I chose “friends” that would accept me, but that came at a cost. I started smoking pot and dabbing, which led to problems in both school and at home. I cut classes, had issues with teachers, and I lied to my parents constantly. It took almost two years, but my parents finally figured out what was going on with me. I could tell you about the many blow ups, arguments, and tears that happened, but it is not something I like to remember. I will say that one good thing that happened because of those awful times was it led to me being diagnosed with depression. That diagnosis helped me to understand why I would get so frustrated at little things. It helped me to understand why I didn’t smile anymore. And it helped me to understand why I actually tried to commit suicide one night. Had I not figured out that I need medication to help me control my depression, I truly don’t know where I would be right now. Or even if I would BE. Seriously. I know there are many people who don’t believe depression is real, or they believe that it can be controlled. That is just completely false. It’s a real disease that requires real action or there could be real consequences. Depression turns molehills into mountains and makes you irrational. It makes you believe the unbelievable and think the unthinkable. I am so grateful to my parents for helping me figure this out and to realize how important it is to get it treated. I am dedicated to my daily medication regimen, and I am working with a mental health activity counselor. She is a bit different from a regular counselor because we don’t just sit inside an office to talk, we actually go outside to play volleyball, hike, or sometimes we play Cribbage. It’s actually pretty cool. My mom has also talked to me about keeping a gratitude journal. Thinking about the big and small things that I am thankful to have in my life has helped me see how lucky I am, and it keeps me looking for the positives. I have also learned that I need to talk to and trust my parents more. I am very lucky that they love me so fiercely and unconditionally. Every day I am working to feel the same way about myself. I am getting there slowly but surely.

Gandhi had it right. WE definitely can be the change we wish to see in the world, and I work at it every day. But if I could help others do that too, here is what I would tell them: EVERYONE HAS A STORY! My mom teaches character traits to middle schoolers, and she says this all the time, including to me when I was in her class years ago. I didn’t understand how true and impactful it really is until I created my own story. If you’d told me when I was little that I’d have mental health issues as a teenager, I never would’ve believed you. I was SO happy! As I got older, things changed: I fought with my friends, I did worse in school, and I didn’t smile or laugh as often. I didn’t understand why this was happening, but my parents did. They realized when I was about four or five that I was (am) gay. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but my hometown did not make it easy for me. I live in a rural town of less than 15,000 people, where agriculture and conservatism are king. I’m 6’5”, gay, and I play volleyball. To say I didn’t fit in is definitely an understatement. Because of this, my self-confidence was awful. I wanted to fit in. Anywhere. So I found acceptance in the wrong place. I found “friends” who “accepted” me, but that led to problems in school and at home. These “friends” had zero empathy for what I was going through, and all they ever did was make me feel worse about myself. They used me and took advantage of my daily. I should have been able to see that they were not good for me, but I just couldn’t. Eventually, thankfully, I was diagnosed with depression. Had I not figured out that I need medication to help control it, I truly don’t know where I’d be right now. Or even if I would BE. What a story I have! Looking at me, you’d never know all that. There’s no way that you could, and this is true of everyone! We need to remember this and be kind to every person, even if they appear happy because they definitely have their own story. There is so much cruelty and meanness in this world. People are bullied, put down, left out, and ignored. I’ve experienced it, and so have people everywhere every single day. Everyone needs to feel cared about, and that’s what empathy is all about. It’s not hard to say hi. It’s not hard to smile. It’s not hard to stand up for someone who is being bullied. It’s not hard to let someone know they are seen. It’s not hard to let someone know they MATTER. The smallest acts of kindness can make such a huge difference in someone’s life. Empathy can change the world.

If you had told me when I was little that I was going to have mental health issues as a teenager, I absolutely never would have believed you. I was the happiest little boy around. I was athletic, funny, confident, cute, friendly, and I just loved life. As I got older, things started to change: I got into arguments with friends, I started doing badly in school, and I didn’t smile or laugh as often. I didn’t understand why this was happening, but my parents did. They realized when I was about four or five that I was (am) gay. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but my hometown did not make it easy for me. I live in a rural town of less than 15,000 people, where agriculture and conservatism are king. I’m 6’5”, gay, and I play volleyball. To say I didn’t fit in is an understatement. Because of this, my self-confidence was awful, and I think we all know that that is where problems begin. I wanted to fit in. Anywhere. So I started looking for acceptance in the wrong places. I chose “friends” that would accept me, but that came at a cost. I started smoking pot and dabbing, which led to problems in both school and at home. I cut classes, I had issues with teachers, and I lied to my parents all the time. It took almost two years, but my parents finally figured out what was going on with me. I could tell you about the many blow ups, arguments, and tears that happened, but it is not something I like to remember. I will say that one good thing that happened because of those awful times was it led to me being diagnosed with depression. It runs in my family, so I shouldn’t have been surprised. That diagnosis helped me to understand why I would get so frustrated at little things. It helped me to understand why I didn’t smile anymore. And it helped me to understand why I actually tried to commit suicide one night. Had I not figured out that I need medication to help me control my depression, I truly don’t know where I would be right now. Or even if I would BE. Seriously. I know there are many people who don’t believe depression is real, or they believe that it can be controlled. That is just completely false. It’s a real disease that requires real action or there could be real consequences. After learning about depression, my belief now is that anyone who commits suicide is suffering from it. Depression turns molehills into mountains and makes you irrational. It makes you believe the unbelievable and think the unthinkable. I am so grateful to my parents for helping me figure this out and to realize how important it is to get it treated. I am dedicated to my daily medication regimen, and I am working with a mental health activity counselor. She is a bit different from a regular counselor because we don’t just sit inside an office to talk, we actually go outside to play volleyball, hike, or sometimes we play Cribbage. It’s actually pretty cool. I have also learned that I need to talk to and trust my parents more. I am very lucky that they love me so fiercely and unconditionally. Every day I am working to feel the same way about myself. I am getting there slowly but surely.

Camp. My dog’s name is Camp. Weird, right? My dad named him after the cabin he and my late grandfather used to go hunting, a very special place to both of them. He’s a Chihuahua/Miniature Pinscher mix and is the cutest little brown dog you’ve ever seen. We got him in February 2021, and I don’t know what our life was like before him. Camp is fun to play with, of course, but the real difference he has made in my life is the way he helps me emotionally. If you’d told me when I was little that I’d have mental health issues as a teenager, I never would’ve believed you. I was SO happy! As I got older, things changed: I fought with my friends, I did worse in school, and I didn’t smile or laugh as often. I realize now it’s because I was struggling with the fact that I was (am) gay. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but I live in a small rural town, I’m 6’5”, and I’m gay. To say I didn’t fit in is an understatement. Because of this, my self-confidence was awful. I wanted to fit in. Anywhere. So I found acceptance in the wrong place. I found “friends” who “accepted” me, but that led to problems in school and at home. Eventually, thankfully, I was diagnosed with depression. Had I not figured out that I need medication to help control it, I truly don’t know where I’d be right now. Or even if I would BE. My daily routine has changed because of my depression. I am dedicated to my morning medication regimen, and I am also working with a therapist and a mental health activity counselor. But Camp is now part of my everyday schedule as well. When I see him after school, he jumps up on my legs, hops up and down a hundred times, and then he scrunches down on all fours so he can leap up to “bite” me. He just makes me feel lighter. I smile more when I’m around him, my worries go away, and I’m 100% happy. What a difference he has made to not only me, but my whole family. My mom has also talked to me about keeping a gratitude journal. Thinking about the big and small things that I am thankful to have in my life has helped me see how lucky I am, and it keeps me looking for the positives. The one thing I am grateful for every day….you guessed it...Camp. I am going to miss him so much when I go to college. Probably more than my parents, but don’t tell them that!

MENTAL muscle! That’s what I am focusing on right now, and I know it will lead to better physical health. One cannot work without the other. If you had told me when I was little that I would have mental health issues as a teenager, I absolutely never would have believed you. I was the happiest little boy around. I was athletic, funny, confident, cute, friendly, and I just loved life. As I got older, things started to change: I got into arguments with friends, I started doing badly in school, and I didn’t smile or laugh as often. I didn’t understand why this was happening, but my parents did. They realized when I was about four or five that I was (am) gay. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but my hometown did not make it easy for me. I live in a rural town of less than 15,000 people, where agriculture and conservatism are king. I’m 6’5”, gay, and I play volleyball. To say I didn’t fit in is definitely an understatement. Because of this, my self-confidence was awful, and I think we all know that that is where problems begin. I wanted to fit in. Anywhere. So I started looking for acceptance in the wrong places. I chose “friends” that would accept me, but that came at a cost. I started smoking pot, which led to problems in both school and at home. I cut classes, I had issues with teachers, and I lied to my parents all the time. It took almost two years, but my parents finally figured out what was going on with me. There were many arguments and tears, but I will say that one good thing that happened because of those awful times was it led to me being diagnosed with depression. That diagnosis helped me to understand why I would get so frustrated at little things. It helped me to understand why I didn’t smile anymore. And it helped me to understand why I actually tried to commit suicide one night. Had I not figured out that I need medication to help me control my depression, I truly don’t know where I would be right now. Or even if I would BE. I am so grateful to my parents for helping me figure this out and to realize how important it is to get it treated. I am dedicated to my daily medication regimen, and I am also working with a therapist and a mental health activity counselor. I talk with the therapist in the office once a month, and I meet with the activity counselor, Alondra, weekly. Alondra is a bit different from a regular counselor because we don’t just sit inside an office to talk, we actually go outside to play volleyball, hike, or sometimes we play cribbage. It’s actually pretty cool. She has also done some acupuncture with me that is supposed to help with sleep issues and anxiety. I definitely want to continue that with her too. My mom has also talked to me about keeping a gratitude journal. Thinking about the big and small things that I am thankful to have in my life has helped me see how lucky I am, and it keeps me looking for the positives. I have also learned that I need to talk to and trust my parents more. I am very lucky that they love me so fiercely and unconditionally. Every day I am working to feel the same way about myself. I am getting there slowly but surely.

I know this is about maintaining physical, mental, and nutritional health, but this essay is about my mental health maintenance. I feel like if your mental health is good then the others will naturally follow. If you had told me when I was little that I would have mental health issues as a teenager, I absolutely never would have believed you. I was the happiest little boy around. I was athletic, funny, confident, cute, friendly, and I just loved life. As I got older, things started to change: I got into arguments with friends, I started doing badly in school, and I didn’t smile or laugh as often. I didn’t understand why this was happening, but my parents did. They realized when I was about four or five that I was (am) gay. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but my hometown did not make it easy for me. I live in a rural town of less than 15,000 people, where agriculture and conservatism are king. I’m 6’5”, gay, and I play volleyball. To say I didn’t fit in is definitely an understatement. Because of this, my self-confidence was awful, and I think we all know that that is where problems begin. I wanted to fit in. Anywhere. So I started looking for acceptance in the wrong places. I chose “friends” that would accept me, but that came at a cost. I started smoking pot, which led to problems in both school and at home. I cut classes, I had issues with teachers, and I lied to my parents all the time. It took almost two years, but my parents finally figured out what was going on with me. There were many arguments and tears, but I will say that one good thing that happened because of those awful times was it led to me being diagnosed with depression. That diagnosis helped me to understand why I would get so frustrated at little things. It helped me to understand why I didn’t smile anymore. And it helped me to understand why I actually tried to commit suicide one night. Had I not figured out that I need medication to help me control my depression, I truly don’t know where I would be right now. Or even if I would BE. I am so grateful to my parents for helping me figure this out and to realize how important it is to get it treated. I am dedicated to my daily medication regimen, and I am also working with a therapist and a mental health activity counselor. I talk with the therapist in the office once a month, and I meet with the activity counselor, Alondra, weekly. Alondra is a bit different from a regular counselor because we don’t just sit inside an office to talk, we actually go outside to play volleyball, hike, or sometimes we play Cribbage. It’s actually pretty cool. She has also done some acupuncture with me that is supposed to help with sleep issues and anxiety. I definitely want to continue that with her too. My mom has also talked to me about keeping a gratitude journal. Thinking about the big and small things that I am thankful to have in my life has helped me see how lucky I am, and it keeps me looking for the positives. I have also learned that I need to talk to and trust my parents more. I am very lucky that they love me so fiercely and unconditionally. Every day I am working to feel the same way about myself. I am getting there slowly but surely.

It didn’t take me long to figure out what I wanted to write about as the quality I value most in myself. It definitely has to be my ability to show GRIT, especially in terms of my mental health and self-confidence. Here’s my story. If you had told me when I was little that I was going to have mental health and confidence issues as a teenager, I never would’ve believed you. I was athletic, funny, outgoing, cute, friendly, and I just loved life. As I got older, things started to change: I got into arguments with friends, I started doing badly in school, and I didn’t smile or laugh as often. I didn’t understand why this was happening, but my parents helped me to understand that I was (am) gay. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but my hometown did not make it easy for me. I live in a rural town of less than 15,000 people, where agriculture and conservatism are king. I’m 6’5”, gay, and I play volleyball. To say I didn’t fit in is an understatement. Because of this, my self-confidence was awful, and I think we all know that that is where problems begin. I wanted to fit in. Anywhere. I started looking for acceptance in the wrong places. I chose “friends” that would accept me, but that came at a cost. I started smoking pot, which led to problems in both school and at home. It took almost two years, but my parents finally figured out what was going on with me. There were many arguments and tears, but I will say that one good thing that happened because of those awful times was it led to me being diagnosed with depression. That diagnosis helped me to understand why I would get so frustrated at little things. It helped me to understand why I didn’t smile anymore. And it helped me to understand why I actually tried to commit suicide one night. Had my parents and I not worked to figure out that I need medication to help me control my depression, I truly don’t know where I would be right now. Or even if I would BE. I am so grateful to my parents for helping me figure this out and to realize how important it is to get it treated. I am dedicated to my daily medication regimen, and I am working with a mental health activity counselor. She is a bit different from a regular counselor because we don’t just sit inside an office to talk, we actually go outside to play volleyball, hike, or sometimes we play Cribbage. It’s actually pretty cool. In doing some research about grit, I have come to the understanding that it is one of the top characteristics in being successful, which makes total sense. If someone faces hard times but is able to work at it to overcome them, then there’s no problem too big to solve. Mental health issues and a lack of self-confidence are huge hurdles to get over, but I truly believe that because of my grit, I will be able to be my best. My parents are a huge part of this, and I believe I got my determination from them…just look at how hard they have worked to help me! I have learned that I need to talk to and trust my parents more. I am very lucky that they love me so fiercely and unconditionally. Every day I am working to feel the same way about myself. I am getting there slowly but surely, thanks to my grit.

Forget study habits. Forget reading tips. Forget proper school supplies. The best, and I mean the BEST back-to-school tip I have is something that can not be scheduled, taught, or bought. The absolute best back-to-school tip EVER is just one little word. But as a lot of school posters say, "It's a little word that makes a BIG difference!" That word is... ATTITUDE! Yep, a positive attitude is truly the best thing any student could have to be successful in school. I could describe what that looks like, but I think it all comes down to what we say to ourselves in different types of situations: -"Ugh. I didn't get enough sleep. Today is going to drag." vs. "I'm tired, but I know I can do this!" -"I got a D?! I'm so stupid." vs. "Well that's not a good score. I better talk to the teacher to see what I can do differently." -"When will I ever use this in real life?" vs. "Mom told me that every time you learn something new, it builds your confidence!" -"I will never understand any of this!" vs. "I need to read this again or ask for help." Attitude is everything. EVERYTHING.

If you had told me when I was little that I was going to have mental health issues as a teenager, I absolutely never would have believed you. I was the happiest little boy around. I was athletic, funny, confident, cute, friendly, and I just loved life. As I got older, things started to change: I got into arguments with friends, I started doing badly in school, and I didn’t smile or laugh as often. I didn’t understand why this was happening, but my parents did. They realized when I was about four or five that I was (am) gay. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but my hometown did not make it easy for me. I live in a rural town of less than 15,000 people, where agriculture and conservatism are king. I’m 6’5”, gay, and I play volleyball. To say I didn’t fit in is an understatement. Because of this, my self-confidence was awful, and I think we all know that that is where problems begin. I wanted to fit in. Anywhere. So I started looking for acceptance in the wrong places. I chose “friends” that would accept me, but that came at a cost. I started smoking pot and dabbing, which led to problems in both school and at home. I cut classes, I had issues with teachers, and I lied to my parents all the time. It took almost two years, but my parents finally figured out what was going on with me. I could tell you about the many blow ups, arguments, and tears that happened, but it is not something I like to remember. I will say that one good thing that happened because of those awful times was it led to me being diagnosed with depression. It runs in my family, so I shouldn’t have been surprised. That diagnosis helped me to understand why I would get so frustrated at little things. It helped me to understand why I didn’t smile anymore. And it helped me to understand why I actually tried to commit suicide one night. Had I not figured out that I need medication to help me control my depression, I truly don’t know where I would be right now. Or even if I would BE. Seriously. I know there are many people who don’t believe depression is real, or they believe that it can be controlled. That is just completely false. It’s a real disease that requires real action or there could be real consequences. After learning about depression, my belief now is that anyone who commits suicide is suffering from it. Depression turns molehills into mountains and makes you irrational. It makes you believe the unbelievable and think the unthinkable. I am so grateful to my parents for helping me figure this out and to realize how important it is to get it treated. I am dedicated to my daily medication regimen, and I am working with a mental health activity counselor. She is a bit different from a regular counselor because we don’t just sit inside an office to talk, we actually go outside to play volleyball, hike, or sometimes we play Cribbage. It’s actually pretty cool. Because of this, I am seriously considering going into the mental health counseling field. I have also learned that I need to talk to and trust my parents more. I am very lucky that they love me so fiercely and unconditionally. Every day I am working to feel the same way about myself. I am getting there slowly but surely.

If you had told me when I was little that I was going to have mental health issues as a teenager, I absolutely never would have believed you. I was the happiest little boy around. I was athletic, funny, confident, cute, friendly, and I just loved life. As I got older, things started to change: I got into arguments with friends, I started doing badly in school, and I didn’t smile or laugh as often. I didn’t understand why this was happening, but my parents did. They realized when I was about four or five that I was (am) gay. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but my hometown did not make it easy for me. I live in a rural town of less than 15,000 people, where agriculture and conservatism are king. I’m 6’5”, gay, and I play volleyball. To say I didn’t fit in is an understatement. Because of this, my self-confidence was awful, and I think we all know that that is where problems begin. I wanted to fit in. Anywhere. So I started looking for acceptance in the wrong places. I chose “friends” that would accept me, but that came at a cost. I started smoking pot and dabbing, which led to problems in both school and at home. I cut classes, I had issues with teachers, and I lied to my parents all the time. It took almost two years, but my parents finally figured out what was going on with me. I could tell you about the many blow ups, arguments, and tears that happened, but it is not something I like to remember. I will say that one good thing that happened because of those awful times was it led to me being diagnosed with depression. It runs in my family, so I shouldn’t have been surprised. That diagnosis helped me to understand why I would get so frustrated at little things. It helped me to understand why I didn’t smile anymore. And it helped me to understand why I actually tried to commit suicide one night. Had I not figured out that I need medication to help me control my depression, I truly don’t know where I would be right now. Or even if I would BE. Seriously. I know there are many people who don’t believe depression is real, or they believe that it can be controlled. That is just completely false. It’s a real disease that requires real action or there could be real consequences. After learning about depression, my belief now is that anyone who commits suicide is suffering from it. Depression turns molehills into mountains and makes you irrational. It makes you believe the unbelievable and think the unthinkable. I am so grateful to my parents for helping me figure this out and to realize how important it is to get it treated. I am dedicated to my daily medication regimen, and I am working with a mental health activity counselor. She is a bit different from a regular counselor because we don’t just sit inside an office to talk, we actually go outside to play volleyball, hike, or sometimes we play Cribbage. It’s actually pretty cool. I have also learned that I need to talk to and trust my parents more. I am very lucky that they love me so fiercely and unconditionally. Every day I am working to feel the same way about myself. I am getting there slowly but surely.

If you had told me when I was little that I was going to have mental health issues as a teenager, I absolutely never would have believed you. I was the happiest little boy around. I was athletic, funny, confident, cute, friendly, and I just loved life. As I got older, things started to change: I got into arguments with friends, I started doing badly in school, and I didn’t smile or laugh as often. I didn’t understand why this was happening, but my parents did. They realized when I was about four or five that I was (am) gay. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but my hometown did not make it easy for me. I live in a rural town of less than 15,000 people, where agriculture and conservatism are king. I’m 6’5”, gay, and I play volleyball. To say I didn’t fit in is an understatement. Because of this, my self-confidence was awful, and I think we all know that that is where problems begin. I wanted to fit in. Anywhere. So I started looking for acceptance in the wrong places. I chose “friends” that would accept me, but that came at a cost. I started smoking pot and dabbing, which led to problems in both school and at home. I cut classes, I had issues with teachers, and I lied to my parents all the time. It took almost two years, but my parents finally figured out what was going on with me. I could tell you about the many blow ups, arguments, and tears that happened, but it is not something I like to remember. I will say that one good thing that happened because of those awful times was it led to me being diagnosed with depression. It runs in my family, so I shouldn’t have been surprised. That diagnosis helped me to understand why I would get so frustrated at little things. It helped me to understand why I didn’t smile anymore. And it helped me to understand why I actually tried to commit suicide one night. Had I not figured out that I need medication to help me control my depression, I truly don’t know where I would be right now. Or even if I would BE. Seriously. I know there are many people who don’t believe depression is real, or they believe that it can be controlled. That is just completely false. It’s a real disease that requires real action or there could be real consequences. After learning about depression, my belief now is that anyone who commits suicide is suffering from it. Depression turns molehills into mountains and makes you irrational. It makes you believe the unbelievable and think the unthinkable. I am so grateful to my parents for helping me figure this out and to realize how important it is to get it treated. I am dedicated to my daily medication regimen, and I am working with a mental health activity counselor. She is a bit different from a regular counselor because we don’t just sit inside an office to talk, we actually go outside to play volleyball, hike, or sometimes we play Cribbage. It’s actually pretty cool. I have also learned that I need to talk to and trust my parents more. I am very lucky that they love me so fiercely and unconditionally. Every day I am working to feel the same way about myself. I am getting there slowly but surely.