My experience with mental health, recovery, and personal development has been significantly defined by a period of deep medical and emotional trauma in my early twenties. When most are honing toward independence and careers of their own, I was met with cancer. The diagnosis was unexpected and upended my life, demanding I take on uncertainty, vulnerability and fear in a way that I’d never done. Chemotherapy was my life now, and everything from planning to staying alive was suddenly over day to day. The physical strain from cancer is certainly a hard thing to bear, and it doesn't take long to feel the effects. I felt drained, alone, and anxious, struggling with the burden of losing control of my body and future, the mental strain I carried. I was anxious, hard to sleep and withdraw emotionally. I craved to hold this strong optimism so I didn’t dare show it, my emotions were pushed aside instead of confronting the moment. This stifling had the effect of intensifying my psychological health problems and causing a delay in healing. And while I was adjusting to my own diagnosis and treatment, my family felt the impact of additional health emergencies. My mother was diagnosed with serious illnesses which needed to be attended to and treated. Shortly thereafter, my father developed major health complications of his own. Seeing both my parents struggle while I was fighting cancer was an emotional weight I couldn’t carry at certain times. I was pulled between tending to myself and being emotionally available to them. These happened at the intersection of everything else and it didn’t leave any time for sleep or emotional processing and it kept me on something of a survival razor’s edge. In that time I started to see that without the trauma being confronted, people take to unhealthy means of dealing with it. I focused on avoidance and emotional numbing instead of processing in order to manage the overwhelming stress and fear that accompanied it. Though these responses helped me find short-term relief, they had a long-term negative impact on my mental health and personal growth. Discovering this pattern involved significant self-reflection and honesty, and became a pivotal moment in my recovery. I learned that managing doesn’t mean healing, and that denial only makes pain longer. But I started my recovery when I chose to speak up head on about my own mental health. I began getting help, learning healthier and emotional coping skills and dealing with the emotional residue of trauma, not downplaying it. For me therapy, looking back and a kind of spiritual place, those tools were very good. Through this work I became more knowledgeable about how to regulate myself through emotion and set boundaries and, where possible, to ask for help without feeling ashamed. I slowly came to realize that recovery isn’t linear, but it can be done with regularity and accountability. These encounters have had a profound impact in my personal development and academic aspirations. It was a time for resilience, discipline, adaptability and determination to move forward in all of this in such a stressful season to continue my education. Learning to manage my studies as I went through medical care and family responsibilities and treatments during my schoolwork and life’s work and dealing with medical management of my hospital stay also meant developing valuable tips in the field of health and education that made me self-discipline I learned that I needed to be resilient from being self-made, persistent and have the ability to push forward. It taught me that my circumstance had nothing to do with what I might become. My academic aims lie on the side of serving, maintaining and creating things that matter. It gives me hope to build a meaningful career in education that enables me to look after others with concern and compassion. With the unique experience of my experiences, I understand the impact of adversity and mental well-being on recovery, and it is a perspective I have been granted and that brings me forward professionally and academically. My motivation lies not just with my own success but with wanting to make a difference in my community to build an environment of compassion and resilience. I will continue with therapy and some guidance in regards to mental health counseling and self-reflection. I But most of all, I know that recovery is a lifelong journey that takes humility and self-awareness. My cancer struggle, paired with the health challenges of my parents’ lives, changed my thoughts on strength and vulnerability. I learned from the experiences that healing is not to be obtained by oneself; healing is in community, it is not to be found by any one, to tell the truth and keep fighting.

To me, living my dream life is not that everything is good it is that everything is meaningful. It is a life where I wake up in peace, not that life is easy, but that I know that I am moving in accordance to that which God made me to do. My dream life is complete. By that which is within me is mended, by that which is upon me is clear, and that which pained me is now turned to meaning. Cancer is not my present reality it’s a witness in the life of my dreams. I no longer plan days around chemo, drugs, or exhaustion. I walk in strength, in purpose, and in healing. I envision myself as an employee of Human Resources, certified and assured, in an organization that invests in people as a result. My dream role is more than pol icy and paper pushing; it’s about arriving to people just as people arrived to me. I long to do life with kindness, understanding, and professionalism most especially to those that feel unseen, unheard, or misinterpreted. I also see drawing upon my experience to give others empowerment. I am writing books, releasing devotionals, and developing my faith-based platform that I have established to persuade women that live in seasons of hardship. I long to stand on stages, facilitate conversations, and remind others that restoration is available physically, emotionally, and spiritually. My dream life is defined by more than a career. I aim to eventually be a wife, a mom, a role model. I want my potential kids to have growing up knowing a woman that did not give up when life became difficult. To know that strength is sometimes soft-spoken; it is faithful and steady. Sometimes, strength is about getting up into a treatment facility with shaky hands but unmovable faith. Still going around and encouraging other women that are experiencing through me such tenderness. This is how it would play out in a vision of my life: I would be living life to the fullest, without bounds of what attempted to destroy me. The chemo chair is a far memory now but is something that still steers me. I am wellbeing in body and heart. Scars do not make me Who They Are They are evidence of survival. They declare how I did NOT only live through cancer, but how I defeated it. This is life on my terms: healed, perfected, and grounded in a sense of direction. I am taking what I've been through to give to others, create a legacy, and illuminate where God leads me. And even now, even as I am in the midst of it all, I think that life is already unraveling a step, a prayer, a leap of faith at a time.

Have you ever just had to sit and cry with gospel music blasting in your ear? Well, I know I have. The song that I decided to talk about today is "Won't he do it" by Koryn Hawthorne. Let's take a little trip back to the year 2019. I had just recently graduated high school and was in my freshman year of college. My music career was just blowing up ( I am known as a well-known local musician in Chicago "COUCH DRUMMER NATION."). My grandpa always told me that my gift would make room for me and that I was his superstar. He was my number one supporter! On November 20th, that day changed my life forever, and it was crazy because two hours before he had passed away, I was over there with him, helping him get his medicine together. He was doing fine. When My mom and I got that call, I dropped. At first, I was in denial, but when the paramedics confirmed his death, I was heartbroken. The only thing to get me through this rough situation was that song. It helped me so much I got the strength to perform a musical tribute at his funeral, playing the drums to that song. This song is special to me because it inspired me and motivated me to keep going. With all the hurt and pain I was going through, I still managed to push through in school and accomplish a 3.7 GPA. God does everything for a reason; even though it may be rough at that moment, he sends comfort. As of right now, I’m doing my best to keep my grandpa’s memory alive and cherish it with all my heart. And when I do feel down, I play that song over and over. I have an actual recording of me playing the drums to that song on my Instagram: @c.d.n_trinn. Thank you for your time.

It is not often you meet a celebrity that you love and they give you something! My playlist is dedicated to Anderson .Paak not only does his music inspires me but he is very influential in my life. In 2019 he personally gave me a drum kit. Before I met him I was really inspired by his work through music it is really rare to see someone jamming on the drums and singing/performing at the same time. As a musician I was really grateful for what he did, he saw something in me and invested https://www.instagram.com/p/ByZ8nAJlRs2/. Thank You.