Anxiety, particularly social anxiety, has been a significant part of my life, affecting how I approach social situations, school, and even my personal relationships. For much of my life, I found myself avoiding situations where I had to interact with people, particularly in unfamiliar settings or when I was expected to speak in front of others. Whether it was answering questions in class or joining group activities, the fear of being judged or making a mistake often paralyzed me. These experiences made me feel isolated and, at times, self-conscious about my abilities. Social interactions, which many people find routine or simple, felt daunting and overwhelming. However, over the years, this anxiety has also taught me valuable lessons about perseverance and personal growth. With the help of therapy and mental health resources, I began to understand the root causes of my anxiety and how to manage it effectively. I learned techniques like mindfulness, breathing exercises, and cognitive behavioral strategies that help reduce the intensity of my anxious thoughts and feelings. Additionally, I've found that exposure has been a powerful tool in overcoming my anxiety. For example, I have started saying yes to every time a friend asks me to go out or simply hang out. I do this even when I don't feel fully prepared. While I have made significant progress, I am still very much in the process of learning to manage my anxiety. Some days are easier than others, and there are moments when the fear of judgment or failure still makes me hesitate. I recognize that overcoming anxiety isn’t a linear journey, and there are ongoing challenges I must face. But I’ve learned to be patient with myself and accept that growth takes time. People grow at difference paces. I continue to seek strategies that help me feel more in control through therapy and by setting small achievable goals. Pursuing a college degree is important to me because it represents an opportunity to unlock my full potential and contribute meaningfully to society. I see higher education as a stepping stone toward both personal and professional growth. For me, earning a degree is not just about acquiring knowledge but about gaining the confidence to challenge myself, learn from my experiences, and become someone who can make a difference in my field. I value the chance to immerse myself in an environment where I can explore new ideas, develop critical thinking skills, and meet like-minded individuals. College also gives me the tools to pursue a career where I can use my creativity and technical skills to make a positive impact. Despite the challenges I may face with anxiety, pursuing this degree is a way for me to overcome personal barriers and achieve something meaningful. Ultimately, I believe that the challenges I’ve faced with anxiety have shaped my determination and work ethic. They have made me more adaptable, empathetic, and committed to my goals.

I enrolled in the Creative Technologies program at Illinois State University because of my deep passion for merging technology with creativity. I have always been fascinated by how innovative tools and interdisciplinary approaches can create new solutions and experiences. This program's unique combination of creativity, problem-solving, and technical expertise stood out to me because it aligns with my interests in areas such as interactive design, digital media, and emerging technologies. I also appreciate the flexibility the program offers, allowing me to explore different fields and gain a well-rounded understanding of both technology and its application in the creative world. I also appreciate that this program allows me to try to new things, such as sound design to better understand the types of things I am not looking for in a career. The knowledge and skills I acquire from this program will equip me to contribute to the growing field of creative technologies in a meaningful way. I plan to use my education to develop innovative solutions that address societal challenges, such as creating accessible technologies for individuals with disabilities, enhancing educational tools through interactive and engaging design, or improving communication through emerging digital platforms. I plan to also use my education to combine technology with the importance/information revolving around mental health. The interdisciplinary nature of my studies will enable me to approach problems from multiple perspectives, ensuring that my work is both effective and impactful in benefiting society as a whole. Balancing work and studies has had a profound impact on my personal growth and my academic journey. Working while attending college has taught me time management, responsibility, and the importance of prioritizing tasks. It has also helped me apply real-world experiences to my academic work, enhancing my understanding of theoretical concepts by seeing their practical applications in a professional setting. Additionally, juggling both responsibilities has taught me how to stay organized and maintain focus, which are essential skills in any career. Though it can be challenging at times, working while being a student has ultimately made me more resilient, resourceful, and prepared for the demands of my future career. Working while attending college has helped me develop many wonderful soft skills, it has most likely hindered me in some ways. Working has took much of my attention away from my academic journey and has required me to miss out on some extracurricular opportunities at my university. Overall, the experience has been tiring, but manageable. Working has been another hurdle for me to grow during my academic path.

Creative Technologies: Interdisciplinary Technologies is my major. Technology has become such a major part of the part and can be used in so many ways! Though I use Adobe software often, that is not the technology that I think would make the world a better place. It can be used to do that, but there is a better technology out there. I believe 3D printing would be the technology that inspires me the most. 3D printing allows the use of physical objects to be created through a ditigal design. This phsycial object is created through layering materials like plastic or metal. 3D printing can revolutionize manufacturing by enabling perosnalized products. However, waste can be reduced through on-demand production. This would tremendously help our environment! Production costs would even be lowered! The other reason why I truly think 3D printing would make the world a better place would be due to how 3D printing can assist in healthcare. Healthcare is a broad term on purpose due to the amount of people it can help. 3D printing gives people the ability to make customized prosthetics and implants that could be tailered to individual patients. Not only would they be better-fititing, but these prosthetic limbs would be more affordable! Children would be able to more easily get prosthetics that grow with them without breaking their parent's bank account. This technology would also be able to assist in the production of personalized surgical tools or models that help doctors understand complex cases before undertaking the surgery. This could actually lead to more successful surgeries in the long run. Within education, 3D printing can help students partake in more interactive learning. This can be done by creating models for molecules or even engineering designs. The world is endless when it comes ot 3D printing. These were only some examples. However, reducing waste while being able to help people sounds like a double win for the world to me.

I have had a lot of experience with mental health from both myself and others. There is so much about this important topic that it will be easier to explain in certain chunks of time. Mental health can destory relationships. I have learned this through my ex-boyfriend (who is thankfully doing much better now). I dated my ex for almost three years. We could've been forever. However, there were some issues that needed profesional help. Truthfully, breaking up with him was one of the hardest things I have ever done. Mental health is hugely important! People should have all of the support and love in the world, however, there is a fine line. At what point to do you destory yourself to help someone? Relationships are a two-way street. At what point will it also be about me? What about my health? These were questions I eventaully asked myself every day while I was was still with my ex. You must understand that we had a wonderful relationship. He was and is a wonderful guy. However, he had major depression. He also had high anxiety. For example, he would get upset if I ran in the rain, because I could fall, get hit by a car, injure my head, etc. In those three years, I know I was his wolrd. I was his source of happiness. He told me how he once tired to cut himself. He never told anyone else that. I tried endlessly hinting and suggesting that he should try to find professional help. He eventually did, but it was too late. In order to help him, I chose to not share any of my worries with him. I did not show worry. I did not not show my personal anxiety. I also took being compared to his ex for way too long. He could not let go of past things, which I sympothized with. I know he did not mean to cause any pain, but he truly did. It was from that relationship that I also learned that mental health can be an excuse for certain behavior. However, I am still tremendously understanding that mental health is the toughest battle one can ever fight. I do not blame my ex at all. I am truly happy he has found the assistance he needed. I have friends who have depression, anxiety, or body image issues who live with it in a much different way than what my ex did. They struggle with some things and sometimes lack energy. Yet, that does not diminish how wonderfully they treat me. My personal mental health journey has allowed me to futher connect with my friends. I am thankful and more open minded whenever I speak to others. You never know what someone has going on in their head. I will forever continue to be the 'helper friend' in any way they need. I want my friends to be happy and you never know what stranger will eventually become your friend. My personal mental health journey started off last year actaully. My mind got too heavy. I could no longer ignore it or outrun it. The exhuastion was there no matter what time of the day it was. I have learned so much about myself because of this journey. My journey actually started with terrible neck and shoulder pain on my left side. It lasted for months. I had to seek assistance because of the pain. It was a massage therapist and some friends that helped connect the dots. Stress and anxiety can affect someone physically. In my case, my mental health showed itself with chronic pain. This experience has caused me to seek out a therapist. Therapy has further continued to show me more about myself. Depression, anxiety, and stress can have a very connected relationship. Mental health has taught me a lot about my beliefs and relationships. I know the importance of it, but I also know one should not destroy themselves for people who need help. The people who need help also need to want to be helped. Sometimes that journey takes longer than others to start. My career aspirations do not completely correlate with mental health. My major, Creative Technologies incorporates many things (such as design, games, marketing, etc.), yet mental health is not one of them. It does open my mind to the importance of taking a break though. Through games, design, going out, and seeing ads, people are able to take the breaks they need. They are able to get a break from their mind. Mental health has also made me more curious how I can incorporate mental health into my major. I know the importance of taking breaks, but through art can I show people the importance of mental health? Am I able to provide readily mental health information in a fun way for people to see? How can I offer myself in my work to show people aren't alone in this journey?

I never have had the greatest image of myself. In all honestly, I still think very llittle of myself. I have always been the 'helper friend'. I love making my friends happy, being the listening ear, and offering any support I can. Over the last two years, I noticed it. I could not ignore it. I could not outrun it. My mental health was becoming very heavy. I was so used to helping others with their mental health or directing them to places that could help them that I really struggled when it became my turn. I was tired all the time. It didn't matter what time of day it was. I could not escape the exhaustion. My concentration dwindled down as well. I could not focus on things that I used to enjoy and things that needed to be done. Joy was still felt, but it became rarer... Drugs and alcohol were not something I turned to in order to help me with these feelings. I have worked incredibilty hard to make it to my master's. I have worked for a perfect GPA. I was and still am adament that drugs and alcohol would have ruined these educational goals of mine. My academic work did take longer to do with my lack of focus. Trying to get myself to focus to start an assignment took much more time and effort, but I still managed to finish everything in time. I was still able to keep my GPA the same. I stayed very far away from drowning everything out through drugs and alcohol. I know it is a slipperly slope, so I chose to not even look down that slope. I also learned later on that the shoulder and neck pain that I experienced for months were because of my mental health. Mental health can have a physical consequence on one's body. Due to this phsycial pain, I remember very clearly when I realized I needed profesional help. My neck and shoulder area's pain grew terribly bad. My muscles started to actually twich all the down in pain and discomfort. This issue caused me to open up with some of my dear friends. We had a very long discussion, where the dots of anxiety, stress, and my physical pain connected. I realized I needed more profesional help. A massage therapist also recommended more professional help to me. I went on a lovely journey discovering more about myself. Therapy has shown me that depression, stress, and anxiety have an interesting and intwined relationship. Therapy has further taught me that an individual can actually breathe wrong. I had to be shown how to properly breathe. I was a chest breather, and I am still working to improve my breathing. From therapy, I am taking more steps to help my mental health. Exercise has become a part of my life. I have actually started to drink mostly water, eat a little healthier, and take some breathing breaks! Stretching more has also considerably assisted any chronic pain. Eventually, I hope to gain more confidence. I hope to be able to see myself in a better light. Thinking differently about myself will boost my personal relationships and my future professional relationships. I know therapy will continue to help me with these things. I still have a lot of work cut out for me. So, I will continue to take one step at a time. Some steps are smaller than others, which is okay. A small step is still a step. Breathing will get easier, exercise will get easier, and life will continue on. Along the way, I will continue to learn more about myself. I will continue to accept more of me. I will continue to work hard to aim for my educational goals. These steps will be followed and become a daily part of my routine to assist my brain.

It has grown heavier. It has grown to be a bigger issue. Those two sentences have been at the forefront of my mind within last semester and this semester. My own brain has really started to get in my way. My mental health has actively slowed me down. My concentration has decreased. Being able to focus has become a main issue. Academically, my grades have not gone down and I turn in my work on time to maintain my hard earned perfect GPA, but assignments take me longer. Getting myself to start an assignments takes more time and more effort. I refuse to let myself ruin something I worked so hard for, but I feel so tired all the time. This tiredness sinks it's claws into me, but it never let's go. Its attached itself to me in class, doing assignments, learning, at home, when I'm with friends, etc. Giving up is not an option. I know I could, but I have already made it so far, I can push on. The tiredness is a mental block. Yet, finding joy has also grown more difficult. Depression and anxiety have an interesting relationship. Stress to succeed, to do good, and to put together a good future for yourself also impacts the ever intwined relationship of depression and anxiety. The growing weight on my shoulders has made it to where I could no longer escape. The body's physical response to my mental health resulted in chronic pain. So, I aim to step forward. I have learned much about myself with this mental health journey. I opened up more to some dear friends. I searched for assistance. I looked into my school's mental help services. I have signed up for therapy even! I have learned about the importance of food and how mental health is affected. I eat a little better. I move my body a little more. I push my body through actual exercise. I push my brain to think a little differently. Most importantly, I learned how to breathe. I make sure to stop and listen to music. I stretch with my terrible coordination. I am hopeful that with practice my coordination will improve though! Even a little bit better is an overall win! I still have a lot of anxiety, stress, and probably other issues within me. But I am taking one step at a time. I have high hopes that with therapy, excersie, and breathing breaks that my mental health with further improve. Mental health is simply another journey within life that I fell behind in. I ignored it for far too long. I am catching up now though.

I absolutely love dogs for multiple reasons. Dogs are one of the most loving animals in the world. No matter how long or short you are gone, dogs will be excited to see you. A dog always welcomes you back with excitement. I have had two dogs in my life so far. I grew up with a cocker spaniel. I've had her since I was three and she lived all the way until my freshmen year of high school. She loved snuggling and was the best vacuum cleaner I've ever had. Dogs give you so much love and are such a major part of any family. My second dog was a mutt. He was a mix of husky and Australian Shepherd. He was extremely talkative and was actually very picky with food. It was so funny to see a dog refuse popcorn for caramel popcorn. He reminded me of myself and picking my own favorite sweets over others. Sadly, he died recently due to cancer. I am still coming to terms with this. Both of these dogs impacted my life very positively. I considered them both as family (possibly even like a sibling). It is very hard to let them go. However, dogs also give you very good life lessons. They help teach you to be more thankful for what time you have and to cherish the memories that you have. They are loving, gentle, and playful. I have a lot of memories involving car rides to get food together and of just sitting together. Dogs also helped me be healthier by giving me exercise. They have quite a bit of strength (depending on the size). Taking them on walks, wrestling, and playing with toys was healthy for everyone because we got our exercise. It was more fun to exercise together too. I feel like dogs help make you feel like you matter in a way that sometimes humans can't. No matter what you do, they will come back to love you. They will be loyal and stand by your side. Even when you wake up grouchy, they will still love you. The feeling of being needed and wanted helps ease your mind. Dogs also helped teach me patience and responsibility. They are a living being that requires food, water, and attention. You have to be responsible so they are taken care of and can enjoy their lives to their max. This is especially true then they are puppies. They also can take some great patience with bathroom training, teaching them a new trick, or repeating yourself ten times as to why they can't go on a car ride with you this time. There are a lot of reasons to love dogs. Dogs really do more for you than you think. I am extremely glad that I was not only fortunate enough to be able to have dogs growing up, but to also meet so many dogs from other family/friends.

To me, joy means being content without being shackled down by stress or worry. Joy is feeling pure excitement/happiness. Something big doesn't have to happen in order to feel joy. Little things can also cause joy. Joy can last a long time or come in shorter/stronger bursts. I seek out joy in multiple ways. Junk food brings me great joy. Chocolate makes me very happy. However, there are other aspects of life that also bring me joy. Spending time with friends or family bring me a lot of joy. My boyfriend brings me great joy as well. Having great conversations with customers or my co-workers also brings me great joy. Activities also bring me joy. These include reading, video games, or playing board games. Animals or pets are one of the greatest joys in the world. I recently lost my dog, which brings me sorrow instead of joy. However, my dog and I have a lot of joyful memories together that I am forever thankful for. Even though other emotions can come along with joy, joy is extremely powerful and worthwhile. Seeking out joy such as with a pet, could bring sadness down the line. But, it is worth it to feel joy and to experience joyful memories.

I have multiple goals for the future. Some of my goals are getting a career job, buying a house, buying a new car, and volunteering. One of my major goals is to find a job that isn't in the food or retail industry. I would love a job outside of these fields and I would love to learn new skillsets. Many jobs in food or retail require some repetitive skillsets that get tedious. I am very excited to get a future editing job where I can actually create something. I would be able to feel accomplished seeing finished edited work. I am actually moving out soon. In two months I will be renting with a roommate. I am very excited because a past goal of mine was moving out. In order to move out properly I need to go through all of my possessions, which is an upcoming goal in the near future. The next step after renting would be buying a house that I would be able to decorate anyway that I would like. Home ownership is a huge achievement. I have my dad's old car, which runs really well still. However, I would like to get a car that wasn't previously owned in the upcoming future. It would be a personal achievement of mine to be the first owner of a car. I have volunteered before or have been an active part of my community. In the future, I would love to take part in taking care of shelter animals or even joining some clubs.

There are a lot of things I could do with $1,000 dollars. I could buy some video games or buy some gem packages for my phone games. I could go buy so many sweets and chocolate. I could even buy a new desk because the one I have now is way to small for a laptop and papers. I know I have friends who would love to go clothes shopping with a $1,000. However, if I had $1,000 right now, I would put that money in my savings account. It would be tempting to spend the money on frivolous things, but I understand how important it would be to save. I am not getting any outside help to pay for my college, which means that saving any money I get would be the greatest option for me. I would use the $1,000 for the future. There will always be school books or supplies that I will end up needing. Gas has also become very expensive, which I will use in order to get to my school. The $1,000 could be used as emergency gas money. This would also allow me to save more of my own money for books or supplies.