I lost my dad last week. I lost him on December 29th 2021. I am still sorting out my emotions on the topic, and I don’t know how I should feel about it. My father wasn’t in my life very much, I’m not sure he loved me very much at all. At the very least he taught me what not to do. He taught me how not to love, he taught me how not to care, he taught me how I shouldn’t act towards my own kids. Now I know that I need to be ready to take care of my kids before I have them, and to not rush into relationships that I know I will not be able to sustain. I now know that my children will not be able to fully mature without both parents present in their lives. I know that my children will suffer without two parents. I’ve realized how much my father’s absence affected me now that it is certain that I will never be able to meet him. I used to say that I didn’t care that my dad left when my siblings would bully me for it. Having their dad, my stepdad in the next room. Honestly it was just a front, I had just lied to myself about any painful emotions for so long that I never realized the pain that was consuming me. I’m still confused about who my father was to me, but his death made me come face to face with all of the pent-up aggression and rage inside of me. Once I was through that I was just consumed with grief. I acted as if I didn’t care in front of my mother, because I haven’t learned to trust people with my emotions yet, but that’s something else that I have started learning to do since my father’s death. I will continue to grow, and I think my father’s death taught me that I don’t have time to hold on. I regret that I didn’t make the effort to reach out to him as a child. I’m regretful about a lot of things now that I’m confronting my emotions, I know I should have talked to him. I regret not hearing his voice at least once, not knowing his eye color, his favorite food. I don’t know his birthday, his hopes, his dreams, his regrets. I would have at liked to have seen him one time, to know how he walked, to know him.

I grew up in a dysfunctional, broken family that was severely damaged. Even though I love my mom and she loves me, she wasn’t ready to take care of her 4 kids. She’s remarried multiple times and my stepparents were as broken as anyone else. They weren’t ready for kids either, so me and my siblings, my older sister and two younger brothers grew up in an emotionally, and physically abusive environment. As of right now my immediate family is split up and I haven’t seen my siblings in person in over a year. My brothers are with their father, and I text them to know if they are safe and okay. They are 16, and 14. My older sister moved out of the house and went to live back in Michigan where we are from when she was 16, she is 20 now. The last time I saw her was last Christmas, and my I haven’t seen my little brothers since before that. From my experience with how I was raised and how I have lived my life up until now I have decided to get a PhD in psychology and become a therapist. That way I can help other families to stick together and spare some kids the pain of living apart from their families, being both emotionally and physically distant. I have made a vow to myself that I will help as many people as possible in my field, and I plan on starting some businesses to generate income that can be used for charity. That way I can extend help to even more people. In a workplace setting I plan on giving more affordable mental health care with an income-based plans, so that more people can afford my healthcare. I will also advocate for mental health awareness in the black community so that more and more people understand that getting help doesn’t make you weak. I believe that I will continue to do more and more for the mental health of this generation. I will help to teach the importance of mental health in this generation. Even further than that I plan on saving millions of people from losing to their mental issues such as depression, suicidal thoughts, mental illnesses, and more. I will make sure to devote my entire life to helping people. That’s my goal and I have faith and dedication to achieve it.

I grew up in a dysfunctional, broken family that was severely damaged. Even though I love my mom and she loves me, she wasn’t ready to take care of her 4 kids. She’s remarried multiple times and my stepparents were as broken as anyone else. They weren’t ready for kids either, so me and my siblings, my older sister and two younger brothers grew up in an emotionally, and physically abusive environment. As of right now my immediate family is split up and I haven’t seen my siblings in person in over a year. My brothers are with their father, and I text them to know if they are safe and okay. They are 16, and 14. My older sister moved out of the house and went to live back in Michigan where we are from when she was 16, she is 20 now. The last time I saw her was last Christmas, and my I haven’t seen my little brothers since before that. From my experience with how I was raised and how I have lived my life up until now I have decided to get a PhD in psychology and become a therapist. That way I can help other families to stick together and spare some kids the pain of living apart from their families, being both emotionally and physically distant. I have made a vow to myself that I will help as many people as possible in my field, and I plan on starting some businesses to generate income that can be used for charity. That way I can extend help to even more people. In a workplace setting I plan on giving more affordable mental health care with an income-based plans, so that more people can afford my healthcare. I will also advocate for mental health awareness in the black community so that more and more people understand that getting help doesn’t make you weak. I believe that I will continue to do more and more for the mental health of this generation. I will help to teach the importance of mental health in this generation. Even further than that I plan on saving millions of people from losing to their mental issues such as depression, suicidal thoughts, mental illnesses, and more. I will make sure to devote my entire life to helping people. That’s my goal and I have faith and dedication to achieve it.

I grew up in a dysfunctional, broken family that was severely damaged. Even though I love my mom and she loves me, she wasn’t ready to take care of her 4 kids. She’s remarried multiple times and my stepparents were as broken as anyone else. They weren’t ready for kids either, so me and my siblings, my older sister and two younger brothers grew up in an emotionally, and physically abusive environment. As of right now my immediate family is split up and I haven’t seen my siblings in person in over a year. My brothers are with their father, and I text them to know if they are safe and okay. They are 16, and 14. My older sister moved out of the house and went to live back in Michigan where we are from when she was 16, she is 20 now. The last time I saw her was last Christmas, and my I haven’t seen my little brothers since before that. From my experience with how I was raised and how I have lived my life up until now I have decided to get a PhD in psychology and become a therapist. That way I can help other families to stick together and spare some kids the pain of living apart from their families, being both emotionally and physically distant. I have made a vow to myself that I will help as many people as possible in my field, and I plan on starting some businesses to generate income that can be used for charity. That way I can extend help to even more people. In a workplace setting I plan on giving more affordable mental health care with an income-based plans, so that more people can afford my healthcare. I will also advocate for mental health awareness in the black community so that more and more people understand that getting help doesn’t make you weak. I believe that I will continue to do more and more for the mental health of this generation. I will help to teach the importance of mental health in this generation. Even further than that I plan on saving millions of people from losing to their mental issues such as depression, suicidal thoughts, mental illnesses, and more. I will make sure to devote my entire life to helping people. That’s my goal and I have faith and dedication to achieve it.