A compassionate young man who empowers others without allowing his disabilities to hold him back.

Pursuing performing arts as a transgender youth is a daunting task. As I navigated the realm of possible career paths, I was always drawn toward the arts and the performative nature of acting. However, as I began to discover who I was and my gender identity, this task became an even heftier obstacle. I always noticed that a lot of the roles I played felt skewed. Always the mother, the wife- I could never identify why this brought me the level of discomfort it did. I was beginning to have second thoughts about my passions and struggle with my own self-discovery, all while trying to stay on top of academic life. At this point, my journey of artistic expression was a very rocky one. I never let this discourage me. Despite my parents' wishes, I cut my hair before graduation and was able to walk across the stage feeling a little closer to myself. I worked against the unfair treatment I consistently received for "not being passing enough", and advocated for myself as a transgender man and artist- even if it meant not being cast. Even now, I find that I am constantly put in the position to battle for what I desire as an actor. Often facing generalizations or stereotypes, I work with Michigan State University's Production Manager to ensure that other trans youths are given a safe space to explore themselves in a reliable, academic environment. Being the only transgender man in the department means I get the unique privilege of educating and collaborating in the effort of curating such a gender-expansive space. My goals as an actor are to pave the way for transgender youth to feel safe and supported in their educational journeys. As a child, I never had mainstream queer actors to look up to. I feel that being able to have a reliable career role model is extremely important. I want to be in a position to inspire more young trans actors. In addition, I have the opportunity to educate and advocate for authentic representation in the entertainment industry. With real-life experience, I hope to assist in doing away with harmful and inaccurate media depictions, pushing for more accurate and humane portrayals. One's passions and desire to discover yourself often intertwine. Embracing identity and ideals can be empowering, but not without a plethora of challenges. My goal is to aspire others and work with passionate individuals to create authentic art in the world. There is no hand guide for trans folk to navigate the artistic world, but I hope to become a role model and pave the way for other transgender youth who aspire to be performers, and to always encourage them to do one thing: Choose Love.

From a very young age, I was not like my peers. I was always labeled as "weird" because I never fit into one category that was created for me. Sometimes I fit in with the girls and did stereotypically girly things, but there was always something missing. I always wanted my humor, enthusiasm, and overall self to be perceived as masculine. I have always been surrounded by the stigma of trans youth being confused, or simply "too young" to make cohesive choices about their own identity. As a result, I was never able to comfortably be myself until I started attending college. There, I feel safe to be my whole self, completely unashamed. My peers respect my identity and the labels I choose for myself, something I can unfortunately never receive during the summer months while at home. Even now as my 20th birthday approaches, my family does not acknowledge my identity. I remember my mother completely ignoring me when I came out to her, sharing my dismay with my father only to be met with the sentence "You will always be my daughter." It's a baffling thing to hear from your parents, the people who are supposed to be an emotionally safe space for you. I retorted with the question "Why can't I be your son?" I never received a response. My family has always been an emotional landmine. Although much of my mother's side of the family is conservative and says terrible things about people with queer identities, she is considerably more liberal. It makes it that much harder to hear her tear down transphobes and support the concept of trans people while refusing to acknowledge her own trans son. Even now, I have yet to explicitly tell them I have started HRT treatment, and I am 2+ months in on Testosterone. My name is Toby. When I am on campus, I am a vibrant soul and kind man. I am a BFA Actor and love comedy, participating in an Improv troupe and constantly joking at the dining hall table after Acting class with my closest friends. Nothing feels forced, I don't feel unsafe. I am unapologetically myself. This being said, there are still struggles I face. I have come to find that in my Theatre Department, I am the only binary trans person. Because of this, I have found there is underlying transphobic ideologies that go unnoticed when not addressed. I've found myself not being called back for male parts, or not at all as I have limited myself to masculine roles. This is something the production manager and I have been closely working together on to educate faculty and staff, in hopes to create a safe and welcoming environment for trans actors to grow and thrive. This work includes educating folks regarding gender stereotypes and introducing aspects of trans voice training to the vocal instructors in order to fully understand and assist trans actors. Even now, I do not doubt that this issue is evident in other theatres and bigger sections of the acting world. Although I have taken a small step, I hope I am able to be a role model to other trans youth with a passion for theatre, going on to create safe spaces for them to learn and grow and follow their dreams without fear of their birth sex getting in the way. I want them not to worry about being misgendered or the stereotypes that come with how they present themselves, but to focus on being emotionally intelligent and passionate performers that choose love first and foremost.

Since even before the Pandemic, I have felt like there has been nothing but a domino effect of turmoil in my life. In January of 2020, my mother was put into the emergency room for a problem they could not identify. Soon after a neighbor, I was close with fell down the stairs in our complex, breaking her neck and dying on impact, in which I was the one to call 911. Merely a week before COVID19 hit Michigan, my father had a heart anomaly while driving, and fell into cardiac arrest unrelated to a cardiac event, totaling our family vehicle and leaving my mother and me alone without an income. He was put into a medically induced coma and released days before COVID hit. As we tried to put everything on its feet during a Quarantine in which my senior year was filled with many missed opportunities, we lost my Grandmother a day after Easter to Ovarian Cancer- in which my mother discovered was likely her own diagnosis from her trip in January. We had been told that she didn't have long. My grandmother had been through surgeries and treatments galore for a very long time, and it was a miracle she lasted as long as she did. Still, we did not expect it to be so soon. I remember the realization hitting me that she would not get to see me walk a stage for graduation- that she had died merely a month or so before I would be in a cap and gown. I was crushed. I felt as though all the people I had lost through the years were suddenly on my shoulders. There were so many people that would not get to see me grow and become a functioning adult with a passion in life. It all felt so dismal. Still, I reminded myself to push on. I have always held the belief that it's possible for my loved ones to watch over me, and that I could make them proud even as they were not with me. Even as tragedy seemed to continue, I managed to graduate with honors and walk across that stage, continuing my education at Michigan State. I reminded myself that even the darkest and stormiest days would let way to the bluest skies. Perseverance became my life motto. I have struggled with depression and anxiety for many years, and it is not always easy for me to have the most positive outlook on things. There are many times when I wonder how long I have left with my loved ones, and worry about whether or not I am utilizing my time correctly. However, I continued to 'fight', and I have grown in body and mind. I realized that I need to live in the present rather than worry over the past and future. When I was invited to give my Grandmother's Eulogy, I emphasized the importance of familial unity and how special it was that we had each other. I am beyond grateful every single day that I have people who love and support me to continue fighting on to break the cycle and get a college education to help others in need and cannot wait to make every single one of them proud.

Empathy is a trait that is not utilized as often as it should. Though many might sympathize or pity an individual's situation, it is a separate skill to be able to put yourself in another person's shoes in order to be able to not only assess a situation but to help come to a solution. In the past two years, tragedy has continued to affect my family. One day while driving home, my dad had sudden cardiac arrest, totaling our family vehicle and being put into a coma merely days before COVID would strike our state. We would spend the next months trying to get by while COVID was in its height, only to find that my mother had a tumor the size of a grapefruit. I am beyond fortunate that their recoveries have been quick and consistent, but the constant in and out of hospitals has taken its toll and my financial aid barely makes a dent in my college costs. I am a full-time student and I have applied for a scholarship upon scholarship to no avail. Between my busy academic schedule, my own arising medical issues, and the overwhelming costs, it has become extremely difficult to go to class every day as though nothing is wrong. However, I find it difficult to stay upset when around other students. When working, collaborating, and generally enjoying the company of fellow students I find myself on the side of listening rather than talking. This often helps me put my issues into perspective, or to distract me from them in contrast to others. I am beyond grateful for my classmates in the College of Arts and Letters, and the many experiences we have already had together. Empathy is key to relations. As an Acting major, I am constantly interacting and developing new relationships, and empathizing with others and their own stories. Though I could be the most skilled actor on the planet, the most innovative director, and a brilliant writer, it is impossible to have a healthy working relationship if I am a cold, distant person. As someone part of the Transgender community, I strive to use this empathy a step further in order to work with other Transgender youth who wish to progress in the field of Acting and to help them overcome similar obstacles I myself have faced. I hope to teach other's the cardinal rule of Theatre using my own empathy: Choose Love First.

I have always felt very strongly about the representation of BIPOC. As a member of the LGBTQ+ community, I am not ignorant of the privilege I still have as a white person. Because of this, I have frequently involved myself in educating, representing, and standing behind black voices. Currently, Michigan State University is putting on a production of Hit The Wall, the story of The Stonewall Riots. In this play, there is a lot of commentary on the relationships between the LGBTQ+ community and their respective identities on top of racial and cultural ones. Despite its importance, this production was almost never made a reality due to uninformed backlash. As a casted understudy, I focus on analyzing the piece over the characters I will likely not perform as, as well as educating others who have uninformed opinions over the piece. Hit The Wall has strong characters of color that impact the events of the play strongly, and I refuse to allow their importance and integrity to be lost to white voices who have never consumed the content. This role in creating informative art has brought me increasingly closer to members of my community as a student of The College of Arts and Letters, allowed me to build confidence in discussion-based conversation, and reaffirmed the concept of listening to BIPOC voices and talking with them, not over them. I strongly advise people to read or engage with content similar to Hit The Wall. Characters like Carson, Peg, Tano, Mika, Roberta, and the like are dynamic, powerful characters of color that contribute to the reality of how many factors there are to how you're treated in society, and how far we've come in contrast to the difficulties faced in 1969.