I didn't get in.
I read the words on the flimsy page over and over, waiting for it to sink in.
I didn't get in.
I was holding a letter from Oberlin College, my top school. I was a senior in high school who had spent months agonizing over the application process; re-reading essays and taking the SATs and studying financial aid packages to see what I'd be able to afford. Oberlin was my top school; their creative writing program was housed in a quaint cottage, exactly where I'd pictured Charlotte Bronte writing her seminal novel back in her day. The music department was nationally renowned, and if I closed my eyes I could picture myself on it, singing with my whole heart at my senior recital. The school was small and exclusive, but I hoped that my resume packed with extracurricular activities and high English SAT and AP scores would help me to stand out. But all that came crashing down. I didn't get in.
A rejection from the place I wanted to be most hurt. I was planning to finance my own education, and Oberlin's financial aid would have been enough to support me almost completely through my four years. Not very many other schools were giving me that opportunity. I finally decided on North Park University, a small Chrisitan college located in Chicago, Illinois. My parents, aunts and uncles, cousins, and even my grandparents had loved North Park and were excited for me to experience it in the way that they had. Inside, I felt that I was settling for something familiar, and I lacked the skills and talent to do the things I had always dreamed of doing. How could I write a book if I couldn't even get into the right school?
I began at North Park in the fall of 2017, a skeptic. I wanted to dislike everything and wallow in my self-pity and misery. But, against my better judgement, I began to settle in. I made friends, some really great ones. I joined the club frisbee team even though I had never played a day in my life, and laughed at myself when I threw the disc to the wrong team. I joined The North Branch, a poetry and arts publication and was able to practice my editing skills and showcase my love for language. I began working as a student ambassador, utilizing my love for connection and communication to help students on their own seach for the right school. I studied abroad in Cuenca, Ecuador, where my host family knew three words of English: "Welcome to Ecuador!". The pandemic began with a bang, and I was able to stay focused, self-motivated, and encouraged to succeed in my studies at home. And now, here I am in my senior year, and I picture myself anywhere else.
Even though I would have loved to attend the school I originally wanted, coming to North Park has taught me a lot more about myself. I can succeed wherever I am, as long as I continue to work hard, speak my mind, and believe in my talents. There will always be someone better than me, but that shouldn't hold me back from trying my best and giving my all. I can become the person I've always wanted to be, and I can do that wherever I am, no matter the circumstances. People face obstacles that I will never understand or be forced to encounter every single day, and learn the same lessons about truth, perseverance, and self-love. I've seen a small part of the struggles life has to offer, and I know that there are hundreds, if not thousands, more that I will see by the end of it. With all that I've already accomplished, I know that I can do everything I want to if I hold onto my experiences and never forget what they have taught me.