Mental Illness, Foster Care, and Mental Health are three factors of my life that have shaped my understanding of the world, the person I am, and who I will become. Like everyone, I am a product of my experiences, both good and bad. And, who I am now is the result of how I dealt with past experiences and what I learned from them. I didn’t start to understand this until more recently. There were times that I felt like a victim, especially when I was younger. But now, I am grateful for all that has happened to me. I see things differently than many, and I am glad I do. Let’s take Mental Illness, for example. When my twin sister and I were born, some said our future might be dim and our prospects for happiness were pretty slim. Our father was an ADHD alcoholic and drug addict who could never hold a job for more than a month or two. Dad was fun when he was around, which was until we were three years old. My mother, we would learn later, had, and still has, untreated Bipolar and Borderline Personality Disorders. I remember Mom was soft and warm and made me feel safe, but then would suddenly change and I was afraid of her. We moved to many different places and stayed with our grandparents a lot in between. Mom and Dad split up when we were three, and when we turned five, we lived with Mom and her boyfriend, Dave. Dave never hit us, but we always thought he would. He yelled, screamed in our faces, and clenched his fists. I still remember the terror we sometimes felt. We were always scared and tried to just stay away from where there might be trouble. Fortunately, that didn’t last forever. A neighbor reported our family to DCF. We were put in Foster Care and the first of many people interviewed us. The first two were Sheriff Deputies. They were nice. I felt safe talking with them when I answered their questions. Afterward, we were seen by many other people who helped us, but I always remember those two police officers. Eventually, my grandparents became our Legal Guardians They, too, had been diagnosed with mental illness. They were able to control it, though. We had love, care, stability, and . . . We always felt safe. Our life has been nothing but good since. Foster Care was life-changing. The change was gradual but steady. In the beginning, I was very shy, didn’t speak up in class, or for myself when I needed to. When I heard adults shouting or talking loudly, I’d get scared and want to escape. I had trouble making friends. In my first years of school, I was sometimes called stupid or a bad kid. I would learn I had PTSD, ADHD, Depression, and Anxiety and that they would be with me always. I had seen, first-hand, the symptoms and outcomes of Mental Illness. When I learned I had Mental Illness at the age of 10 and understood what it meant, I cried. But sadness doesn’t have to last forever, and it didn’t for me. My Guardians, Care Providers, Teachers, and Foster Care itself helped me understand that Mental Health is a process. From nurturing, to therapy, to medication, and self-awareness, I learned that control of my illnesses was possible. But you have to work at it to maintain the control. And in doing that you not only understand yourself better, but you also can better understand the mental illness in others. I have seen and experienced what can happen when our demons come to our door and are not fought. As I got older, I thought about what my career might be. My life experiences (including mental illness, mental health, and foster care) helped me make my choice. I want to be a law enforcement or public safety officer, like the two deputies who helped rescue us so long ago. They were the "first responders" that rescued us and put us in the Foster Care System. Without them, I would probably not be able to apply for this scholarship. It was society that made “Foster Care”, the Law. It was the Law and its Enforcement that changed our lives for the better. I will be a better law enforcement officer because I do not stigmatize "mental illness."

Mental Illness, Foster Care, and Mental Health are three factors of my life that have shaped the person I am, and who I will become. Like everyone, I am a product of my experiences, both good and bad. And, who I am now is the result of how I dealt with past experiences and what I learned from them. I didn’t start to understand this until more recently. There were times that I felt like a victim, especially when I was younger. But now, I am grateful for all that has happened to me. I see things differently than many, and I am glad I do. Let’s take Mental Illness, for example. When my twin sister and I were born, some said our prospects for happiness were pretty slim. Our father was an ADHD alcoholic and drug addict who could never hold a job for more than a month or two. Dad was around until we were three years old. Mom, we would learn later, had, and still has, untreated Bipolar and Borderline Personality Disorders. Mom and Dad split up when we were three, and when we turned five, we lived with Mom and her boyfriend. Have never hit us, but we always thought he would. He would scream in our faces, and clench his fists. I still remember the terror we felt. We were always scared and tried to just stay away from where there might be trouble. Fortunately, that didn’t last forever. A neighbor reported our family to DCF. We were put in Foster Care and the first of many people interviewed us. The first were Sheriff Deputies. They were nice and. felt safe talking with them. Eventually, my grandparents became our Legal Guardians They, too, had been diagnosed with mental illness. They were able to control it, though. We had love, care, stability, and . . . We always felt safe. Our life has been nothing but good since. Foster Care was life-changing. In the beginning, I was very shy and didn’t speak in class, or for myself when I needed to. When I heard adults talking loudly, I’d get scared and want to hide. I had trouble making friends. In my first years of school, I was called stupid or a bad kid. I learned I had PTSD, ADHD, Depression, and Anxiety and they would be with me always. I had already seen, the outcomes of Mental Illness. I learned I had it at the age of ten. I cried. But sadness doesn’t have to last forever, and it didn’t for me. My Guardians, Care Providers, Teachers, and Foster Care helped me understand that Mental Health is work. I learned that control of my illnesses was possible, but you have to work to maintain the control. That way you understand yourself better and can better understand mental illness in others. I have seen what can happen when our demons surface and are not fought. As I got older, I thought about what my career might be. My life experiences helped me decide. I want to be a law enforcement or public safety officer, like the two deputies who helped rescue us so long ago. They were the "first responders" that rescued us and put us in the Foster Care . Without them, I would probably not be able to apply for this scholarship. It was society that made “Foster Care”, the Law. It was the Law and its Enforcement that changed our lives for the better and I will be a better law enforcement officer because I will not stigmatize "mental illness."

Mental Illness and Mental Health are two concepts that are at opposite ends of Wellness. When mentally healthy, we can experience happiness, love, and enjoy life. When mentally ill, this is not so. At one end joy. At the other end is sorrow and loss. Many people know this. My knowledge comes from personal experience. Before we were five years old, my sister and I lived with my mother and her boyfriend. Mommy was soft and warm and made me feel safe sometimes, but sometimes I was afraid of her. I would learn later that Mom had and has Bipolar and Borderline Personality Disorders and refused to get help. Her boyfriend was very abusive to us. He never hit us, but we always thought he would. We were always scared and tried to just stay away from where there might be trouble. When we were five, a neighbor reported us to DCF and the first of many people interviewed us. The first two were Sheriff Deputies. They were nice. I felt safe when answering their questions. They were kind. We were at our grandparents' house when they arrived. Afterward, many others would come to talk with us from different agencies, but I always remembered two Sheriff Deputies. Eventually, my grandparents became our Legal Guardians. Ironically, with regard to Mental Illness and Health, both Grandpa and Grandma, themselves, were (and are still) being treated for Depression. Fortunately, they understood their mental illness, accepted it, and got the care and treatment the disease required. From them, we learned many things, and one was that if you know you are ill, get help for it if you can. Because of them and their wisdom, we had love, care, stability, and . . . we were safe. Our life has been nothing but good since. What happened in those early years influenced my life in many ways. I was very shy. I did not speak up in class or speak up for myself when I needed to. Whenever I heard adults shouting or talking loudly, I would get scared and want to escape. I had trouble making friends. In my first years of school, I was sometimes called stupid or a bad kid. From one of my doctors, I learned I had PTSD, ADHD, Depression, and Anxiety and that they will be with me in the future. Yet, from nurturing, therapy, medication management, and the help of many, I learned to cope with my mental health issues. Sometimes it's very hard. Sometimes I start to believe the unfair stigma that surrounds mental illness and mental health. Sometimes I get knocked down and feel sorry for myself. But so far, I get back up. I am aware that it is only I who can control my mental health, and I have seen the consequences in my family and community when that control is lost. As I got older, I thought about what my career might be. My life experiences (including mental illness and mental health) helped me make my choice. I want to be a law enforcement or public safety officer, like the two deputies who helped rescue us so long ago. They were the "first responders" and rescued us. Without them, I would probably not be able to apply for this scholarship. It was the law and its enforcement that changed our lives for the better. Feeling safe in your home and environment is needed in everybody’s life. Mental Health helps make it possible. Making sure the laws are enforced is also a big part of it. I know this from my experience.

Before we were five years old, my twin sister and I lived with my mother and her boyfriend. My mother was soft and warm and made me feel safe sometimes and then sometimes I would be afraid of her. I would learn later that my mother has Bipolar and Borderline Personality Disorders and refused to get help. Her boyfriend was very abusive to us. He never hit us, but we always thought he would. We were always scared and tried to just stay away from where there might be trouble. When we were five, a neighbor reported us to DCF and the first of many people came to interview us. The first two were from the Sheriff. They were nice. I felt safe talking with them when I was answering their questions. They were kind. We were at our grandparents' house when they arrived. Afterward, many others would come to talk with us from different agencies, but I always remembered the two Sheriff Deputies. Eventually, my grandparents would become our Legal Guardians. We were safe. Our life has been nothing but good since then. What happened in those early years influenced my life in many ways. I have been very shy and did not like to speak up in class or even speak up for myself when I needed to. Whenever I heard adults shouting or talking loudly, I would get scared and want to escape. I had trouble making friends. In my first years of school, I was sometimes called stupid and a bad kid. From one of my doctors, I learned I had PTSD, ADHD, Depression, and Anxiety and that they will be with me in the future as well. But, from therapy over the years and the help of many, I have learned to cope with these challenges. Sometimes it is very hard. During COVID-19, we couldn’t go to class because my guardians were elderly and at more risk. The virtual learning was not good, especially for me. I had done well in Math and Science before COVID-19. Then I had to be virtual schooled in Chemistry and Pre-calculus For a year ad a half our school location was our apartment. My grades suffered and so did my self- confidence. By my senior year, I was back on track and my confidence was better every day. And so, my life and what happened in it are reasons why I want to work in either law enforcement or public safety, like the two deputies who helped rescue us. They were the "first responders" and rescued us. It was the law and its enforcement that changed our lives for the better. Feeling safe in your home and environment is so needed in everybody’s life. Making sure the laws are enforced is a big part if it, and that is why I want to help others I am now a Freshman at St Petersburg College and my plans are to transfer after two years to USF and get a 4-year degree in Criminology or Criminal Justice that will help me work in some law enforcement or public safety role.

All my life I’ve felt like I’ve been climbing a mountain, hoping that when I got to the top, I would be free from facing any more challenges, but now that I am older I realize life itself is the challenge. No matter how far or high I climb, I will still be on the mountain, so I just have to accept the journey and try to survive until I reach the ground on the other side. My past has made me into the person I am today The emotional, physical, and mental abuse I endured from my biological parents during my early childhood will forever be a part of me, but as I move forward, it becomes a smaller and smaller part each day. Yes, the mental illnesses I was born with and acquired from abuse have contributed to my personality, but only as much as I will let them. These realizations have made me strong enough to continue my life journey with confidence and without fear. Until I was six I was in the custody of my biological mother and father. They were incapable of taking care of themselves, let alone a child. My mother found out she was pregnant at age 22 and shared the news with my grandparents. Most grandparents would be happy and thrilled about getting grandchildren, but they were more concerned. My mother has BPD and borderline personality. My father was a drug dealer. They weren’t married, their relationship wasn’t stable, and their minds weren’t stable either. In the care of my parents, I witnessed and personally experienced things nobody of any age should ever go through and I remember things I shouldn’t be able to. Every positive memory I have is with my grandparents, but all the memories of my mom and dad are negative. I remember things like they happened yesterday. Before I turned 5, I had lived in at least ten different homes and I still remember around 7 of them, some clearly and some vaguely. My grandparents are the only people who have been by my side since birth and they have never caused my sister and I harm. I have always been able to trust that they would never leave me, never hit me, never lie to me, and never hurt me. When my grandma makes a promise, she always means it and never breaks it. When we went into their care, they were living on social security and our parents didn’t pay steady child support. All they’ve ever wanted was for us to be a part of something bigger than ourselves and strive for happiness over success, but with my college education and the path I am going to take, I will be able to achieve happiness and success. I will make them proud and be the best person I can be. I too will help vulnerable people struggling to climb their own mountains. Because of their constant support, I love myself unconditionally and I no longer fixate on other’s opinions of me. I will continue on my path with my medication management, cognitive therapy, self-examination and self-improvement. If I get this scholarship, you can depend on me to make a positive impact with my education in Law and Justice. I am on attending SPC for two years and transferring to USF for my bachelor's. After I graduate, I plan to become a law enforcement officer.

BRIGHT LIGHTS SCHOLARSHIP Jacob Chouinard My plans for the future include being a good person, a responsible and caring adult, an informed citizen, a loving parent, and someone who will try to make every day a little better than yesterday. And, since I was six years old, I have wanted to be a law enforcement officer or agent and help keep others safe. Based on what I know about my abilities, interests, and values, I believe I can accomplish these goals. On the other hand, I am now only seventeen years old. I know a lot more about what I want in life than I did when I was six, but not as much as I will know when I am 30. So, looking at long-term goals, I would say that my most important plans goals are more general, and earning a college degree will make them even more attainable. I think I will probably get married and have a family of my own someday. Providing for my family and being a good parent is very important to me. I was placed in foster care at the age of five. I would want my children to have a comfortable and enjoyable life. Nice memories of family events and experiences. A college degree could be a way of making it easier to provide the income necessary for a safe home and some comforts, too. Besides the financial side, knowing more about the world and what is happening in it would make me a better citizen and the right kind of role model for my kids. In addition, I think that a college degree will provide more stability and opportunity in my career. One of my uncles told me that earning a degree means that someone is able to set a goal and follow it through to the end. It proves a person does not give up easily. He said that is the real reason people respect someone who has a degree. It is also an additional reason a person can respect himself and have self-confidence. The Bright Lights Scholarship would help me reach my long-term plans. Since the age of six, I have been in foster care and my grandparents-guardians are in their 70s and have only Social Security Income. My biological parents are not able to help with the expenses that will be coming. The annual cost at my college is about $25000. I will qualify for some financial aid, but it will be far less than my total. I am applying for as many scholarships as possible to make up the balance and your opportunity is very important. I hope you agree.

Recently, I had the occasion to ask myself, “Am I a maverick?” I gave the question a lot of thought and realized that yes, I am. A dictionary defines a “maverick” as “an independent individual who does not go along with a group or party.” To understand why this word applies to me, let me tell you a little about my life. At the end of kindergarten, the Sheriff Deputies DCF removed my twin sister and I from the custody of my mother and her boyfriend. We were taken to my grandparent's home and they later became our permanent legal guardians. I was only five years old and didn't know that my sister and I had been neglected and abused according to the law. There were also many other things I did not understand. It was just our life. I would learn later that our early life was not like most. But, after we went to live with our grandparents, many things changed. Soon after first grade started, we saw many different doctors and therapists and learned that we each had some conditions neither of us knew about. Both of us learned we were ADHD and had PTSD. For me, I also learned I had Social Anxiety Disorder. It really didn't mean anything to a six year old, but I feel so lucky that I found out about and accepted my realities so early in my life. For nearly 12 years we have learned how to accept and deal with our demons. Many, never do. My learning and social challenges make it harder for me to learn as fast as other kids. And my shyness and fear of large groups and loud voices is there, but less so every year. Thanks to my grandparents, my doctors and therapists, my medication, my teachers, my IEP at school, (and myself), I have learned to accept my truths and make choices based on them. I am grateful for these lessons for they have kept me out of trouble despite being surrounded by it every day at school and sometimes in my neighborhood. I think Life must be a process of constant learning. So far, I have learned many things about who I am. I have learned that I am different from others in many ways and some of the reasons why. I am 17 years old. I am going to college. I am going to be a law enforcement officer and help make others safer. I am ADHD and many other things, too. I am a maverick and glad of it. And, I like who I am.

Before we were five years old, my twin sister and I lived with my mother and her boyfriend. I would learn later that my mother has Bipolar and Borderline Personality Disorders and that she refused to get help. Her boyfriend was very abusive to us. He never hit us, but we always thought he would. He would scream at us and clench his fist. We were always scared and tried to just stay away from where there might be trouble. When we were five, a neighbor reported us to DCF and the first of many people came to interview us. The first two were from the Sheriff. They were nice. They had kind faces. The Deputies told us we would be safe and everything would be okay. We were at our grandparents' house when they arrived. Many others would come to talk with us from different agencies, but I always remembered the two Deputies. Eventually, my grandparents would become our Legal Guardians. Our life has been nothing but good since then. What happened in those early years of my life shaped me in many ways, some positive and some not. I have learned that I have general anxiety issues along with PTSD and that I am ADHD. Later on, COVID-19 caused us some problems. Our grandparents were in their seventies and were high-risk. As a result, we missed a year and a half of classroom learning and we had to take very hard classes, Chemistry and Pre-calculus. My grades suffered. So did my self-confidence. Fortunately, my senior year is going much better and I am getting back on track and my confidence is better every day. For this final semester, I am back on the Honor Roll! My life and what happened in it are reasons why I want to work in either law enforcement or public safety, like the two deputies that helped rescue us and put us in Foster Care. Foster care saved my sister and me. It gave me safety, love, hope, and a chance for a brighter future. It played a significant part in shaping my values, outlook on life, and career goals. I have been accepted at St Petersburg College. After two years, I will then have guaranteed acceptance at the University of South Florida to earn a Bachelor's in Criminology/Cyber Crime degree. After graduation, I hope to work in some law enforcement or public safety role. I want to make a positive difference in others' lives. I want to pass it on. Feeling safe in your home and environment is so needed in everyone's life. I know!

Before we were five years old, my twin sister and I lived with my mother and her boyfriend. My mother was soft and warm and made me feel safe sometimes and then sometimes I would be afraid of her. I would learn later that my mother had Bipolar and Borderline Personality Disorders and refused to get help. Her boyfriend was very abusive to us. He never hit us, but we always thought he would. We were always scared and tried to just stay away from where there might be trouble. When we were five, a neighbor reported us to DCF and the first of many people came to interview us. The first two were from the Sheriff. They were nice. I felt safe talking with them when I was answering their questions. They were kind. We were at our grandparents' house when they arrived. Many others would come to talk with us from different agencies, but I always remembered the two Deputies. Eventually, my grandparents would become our Legal Guardians. Our life has been nothing but good since then. What happened in those early years influenced my life in many ways. I have been very shy and did not like to speak up in class or even speak up for myself when I needed to. Whenever I heard adults shouting or talking loudly, I would get scared and want to escape. I had trouble making friends. In my first years of school, I was sometimes called stupid and a bad kid. From one of my doctors, I learned I had PTSD, ADHD and Depression and Anxiety and that they will be with me in the future as well. From therapy over the years, medication management, help from many, and a lot of hard work have learned to cope with these challenges. Sometimes it is very hard. During COVID19, we couldn’t go to class because my guardians are elderly and at risk. The virtual learning was not good, especially for me. I had done ok in Math and Science before Covid. Then I had to be virtual schooled in Chemistry and Pre-calculus. My grades suffered and so did my self-confidence. My senior year is going much better, and I am getting back on track and my confidence is better every day. And so, my life and what happened in it are reasons why I want to work in either law enforcement or public safety, like the two deputies that helped rescue us. I have been accepted at St Petersburg College and my plans are to transfer after two years to USF and get a 4-year degree that will help me work in some law enforcement or public safety role. Feeling safe in your home and environment is so needed in everybody’s life and not everyone feels that way. I want to help make life safer and better for others and I am looking forward to it

Before we were five years old, my twin sister and I lived with my mother and her boyfriend. My mother was soft and warm and made me feel safe sometimes and then sometimes I would be afraid of her. I would learn later that my mother had Bipolar and Borderline Personality Disorders and refused to get help. Her boyfriend was very abusive to us. He never hit us, but we always thought he would. We were always scared and tried to just stay away from where there might be trouble. When we were five, a neighbor reported us to DCF and the first of many people came to interview us. The first two were from the Sheriff. They were nice. I felt safe talking with them when I was answering their questions. They were kind. We were at our grandparents' house when they arrived. Many others would come to talk with us from different agencies, but I always remembered the two Deputies. Eventually, my grandparents would become our Legal Guardians. Our life has been nothing but good since then. What happened in those early years influenced my life in many ways. I have been very shy and did not like to speak up in class or even speak up for myself when I needed to. Whenever I heard adults shouting or talking loudly, I would get scared and want to escape. I had trouble making friends. In my first years of school, I was sometimes called stupid and a bad kid. From one of my doctors, I learned I had PTSD, ADHD and Depression and Anxiety and that they will be with me in the future as well. From therapy over the years, medication management, help from many, and a lot of hard work I have learned to cope with these challenges. Sometimes it is very hard. During COVID19, we couldn’t go to class because my guardians are elderly and at risk. The virtual learning was not good, especially for me. I had done ok in Math and Science before Covid. Then I had to be virtual schooled in Chemistry and Pre-calculus. My grades suffered and so did my self-confidence. My senior year is going much better, and I am getting back on track and my confidence is better every day. For the first semester of my senior year, I am back on the honor role. And so, my life and what happened in it are reasons why I want to work in either law enforcement or public safety, like the two deputies that helped rescue us. I have been accepted at St Petersburg College and my plans are to transfer after two years to USF and get a 4-year degree that will help me work in some law enforcement or public safety role. Feeling safe in your home and environment is so needed in everybody’s life and not everyone feels that way. I want to help make life safer and better for others and I am looking forward to it