When I was six years old my mom would ask me, “Mamita, what do you want to do when you get a job?” I would often reply to her with something like, “I want to be a mom and a teacher, or a nurse, or a ballerina, or…” I would list profession after profession until my mother became tired of my rambling. Transitioning to middle school, I would often complain to friends that I was "mediocre at everything I did", an insecurity that came with me into high school.
Coping with intense anxiety during COVID was extremely challenging. On top of the virus, riots, and looting outside my Manhattan window, I experienced overwhelming stress, manifesting in repetitive rocking, self-harmful movements, blurry vision, hallucinations, difficulty breathing, and crippling claustrophobia. Reflecting on those traumatic eighteen months, I had to practice humility by admitting I had always struggled with social interactions, sensory sensitivities, hyperfocused interests, repetitive behaviors, and an obsession with structure and order, which I had masked to be socially acceptable.
Seeking a diagnosis, I turned to research on ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder), I self-cataloged the various symptoms and difficulties I faced and was open, but fearful of the diagnosis. However, countless obstacles seemed to pop up in my quest for answers. One older doctor claimed that I was “too good” at socializing, or “too kind” to be autistic, even though I checked every other box.
After a year of insurance issues and ignorant professionals, I finally found a healthcare provider I trusted and respected. I was diagnosed with a sensory processing disorder, panic disorder, and ASD. This process was arduous and painful, but I know that my courage propelled me into a woman confident in all facets of my identity.
Coming into college I realized that so much of my education was just that: intersectional, dynamic, and multilayered. Studying “psychology” didn’t have to end with understanding Freud or Jung, or Maslow, but could go as far as critical race theory, feminist literature, masking in autism, and death rituals across cultures.
Finally understanding that my own intersectional interest could easily translate to the world of psychology intrigued me and allowed me to formulate what I wanted to do as an adult post-college. A title I have grown comfortable with using as an answer to the age-old, “What do you want to do when you grow up?” question is, “clinical child psychology.”
I am deeply passionate about my calling to serve underrepresented communities and use my psychology education to empathize and conduct research in the realm of disability, Autism, neurodiversity, and education. This scholarship will not only support my financial stability while balancing an unpaid internship, but also assist in solidifying my purpose of advocacy, education, and research. I plan to continue giving back to my community through mentorship and counseling at every step of my educational and professional career.
After graduating with a P.h.D in child and adolescent clinical psychology and working as a psychologist, I have a dream of starting a public school that highlights neurodiverse learning curriculums that appeal to not just one neurotype. These avenues of service and purpose both academically and professionally are important to me, as I am an autistic student who was often denied accommodations and support before coming to college. Now that I have the vocabulary and the tools to stand up for myself and voice my needs, I want to be able to use my education to teach others that as well. I plan to achieve my goals through opportunities such as these, by hustling, working hard, and remembering my roots.