I started using drugs and drinking at a young age. I wasn't even a teen before I started with both. I remember feeling like I was different before this and didn't like who I was even though I was still so young. The first time I got high, I felt different again, but this time I felt more relaxed and I didn't worry about anything. I had found a great escape from life and I enjoyed it. I know that drug and alcohol use affected me mentally, physically, and spiritually, but that lesson came later in life. I remember not really caring about myself and how I was sad and depressed often, but I kept going. I didn't realize that it's not normal for kids to drink and do drugs because it was a way of life in my house. My mom was an active alcoholic/drug addict as well as my stepfather. He was the man that introduced me to marijuana. I never understood why he handed me the joint that day, but he didn't hesitate to do it. He passed away back in 2012 and I don't know if he ever stopped drinking and doing drugs. My mom passed away in 2006 at the age of 58. They both died prematurely. That is the effect of drug and alcohol abuse. I kept using and drinking until I was 23. I was getting sick and tired of the way that I was feeling and had several things happen in my life that provided me the opportunity to become abstinent from all drugs and alcohol. I got involved with Alcoholics Anonymous and started going to meetings and meeting my sponsor. I have had a relationship with three other men in my life who chose to help me on my journey of sobriety. I was able to do my fourth step with one of my sponsors at the top of a mountain in New Hampshire. It was one of the most special moments in my recovery journey . I had a relapse in 2005 before my mom passed, but I started over again on January 16, 2006. I have been clean and sober since then and just celebrated 17 years this past January 16. I haven't had a drink since March 14, 1992, but my new sobriety date was a new start so that's my clean and sober date. I wouldn't have gotten as far as I have without the support of dozens if not more, people in my life. I am grateful to say that I am clean and sober and have helped dozens of other people too.

My mental health is what keeps me alive and functioning properly. I can't live a rich and full life when my mental health is suffering. I am medication compliant and that helps me to maintain my mental wellness. I also exercise and eat well, and that helps me too. I found out that I had Bipolar Disorder II back in 2016 and that changed my life. I spent many years suffering from bouts of depression as well as hypomania. I also ended up using drugs and alcohol to kill the pain that I had been experiencing. I realized later that the pain wasn't going to go away unless I confronted that pain head-on. I decided to stop drinking and using drugs and my life changed in big ways. My depression didn't just go away, I was being treated for it and the medication was helping. My hypomania came off and on for years and I learned how to recognize those episodes and to make sure that I was safe and had a support system. I have a mental health crisis plan that I will use if I need to. It consists of things that my loved ones can look for when I am struggling with my mental health. I am willing to be hospitalized if I need to be stabilized and I also have signs that they can look for should I start having an episode. Having that crisis plan is crucial because, without it, it can be a matter of life and death. I have a great support system that I can work with when I need more support and I am always learning more and more about mental illness so I can stay on top of any new information. I volunteer with the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) so I can help others with their mental health and that helps me as well. I also work at a drug and alcohol treatment center on Mondays to help the clients that are there and help install hope in them, but having a dual diagnosis is not a death sentence. The work that I do for them is fulfilling and I'm grateful to have the opportunity to help them. I also am going to school to get my Bachelor's degree in Social work and after that degree, I plan to get my Master's and then become a Forensic Social Worker and work with the legal system. It's a dream that is starting to come true, one day at a time.