For close to 2 weeks I was sitting at home, watching Netflix, sleeping, eating, doing chores, and attempting to complete some academic work. This may resemble the routine of a student during winter or spring break. However in my case, this was during the first month of school because of the severity of my OCD. This choice to leave was not mine. My condition had become so severe that my school’s medical team was not able to provide me with the necessary treatment. On September 17th, 2019, I packed my belongings and within the next 24 hours, I was in the passenger seat of my parents’ vehicle. I sat for the 2.5 hour-drive away from school listening to music and answering questions that my parents had. It was very stressful because they had a lot of questions that I did not know the answer to or that I did not feel comfortable sharing. I would not see my new friends, school mates and everything connected to my high school, Westminster, until early 2019. Back in my home city, I took a test and was then later accepted in the Children’s Day Unit (CDU): a program at Columbia University that provides people with psychiatric treatment and emphasizes recovery. The providers at the CDU always stressed that we are at the program for two reasons: 1) start/continue our journey of treatment and 2) continue our performance in academia. I was diagnosed with OCD, specifically contamination and scrupulosity. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), a subcategory of Anxiety, is a cycle of intrusive thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. The intrusive feelings and thoughts take over one’s head space and the only way one will think to settle and/or alleviate its overwhelming presence is to do compulsions, which are the rituals and behaviors. When the thoughts and anxious feelings popped into my head, even though there was no logical reason, I purposely self sabotaged. People looked at me with a different eye when I was in class because of my unusual movements and sitting positions, and my grades suffered during my freshman and the beginning of sophomore year. Old habits die and those habits die gradually. For starters, I have the ability to manage any discomfort. The anxious feelings still come, but the frequency has abated. In addition, I learned study habits. Since my focus was getting better emotionally and educationally, I started to read more. I eventually enrolled back into my high school and graduated in May 2021. Completing the program and going back to school has provided me the opportunity to experience life again. During my time at the CDU, I can say that they have helped me towards the goal of going back and succeeding at school. With the help of many providers, I was steered back on the right track in this race of life. It showed a new side of resilience that I never knew existed. In the future, I hope to be able to graduate from my current school with a Bachelor of Arts in Music and enroll in a graduate music program at USC. On a final note, in the words of my psychologist, “You are not your OCD,” and believing is the first step.

After fully adjusting to my new school, I had to leave at the beginning of my sophomore year. On September 17th, 2018, I packed my belongings and within the next 24 hours, I was in the passenger seat of my parent's vehicle. I sat for the two-and-a-half-hour drive away from school listening to music and answering questions that my parents had. I would not see my new friends, schoolmates, and everything connected to my high school, Westminster, until early 2019. I did not know what it was called at the time, but anxiety would cloud my mind for hours on end. I would wake up and think about stuff that no logical person thinks. My chest would tighten and my heart would beat so fast. I used to feel so much guilt that it became second nature. I would wash my hands for at least twenty seconds every time I touched something that I deemed dirty. All of this started to interfere with my school work and my social life, so I understood why I had to leave. With these memories of attending therapy for 2.5 months came wisdom. I took a test in Manhattan and was then later admitted into the Children’s Day Unit (CDU). This is a program at Columbia University that provides people with psychiatric treatment. During my time at the CDU, I can say that they have helped me towards my goal of going back and succeeding at school. As I hold on to these first-hand experiences, I can provide support and guidance for whoever follows in a similar path of anxiety by recommending contact with the campus medical team or just be a shoulder to cry on. In the words of my psychologist, “You are not your OCD,” and believing is the first step.

For close to 2 weeks I was sitting at home, watching Netflix, sleeping, eating, doing chores, and attempting to complete some academic work. This may resemble the routine of a student during winter or spring break. However in my case, this was during the first month of school because of the severity of my OCD. This choice to leave was not decided by me, but by the school since my condition had become so severe that my school’s medical team was not able to provide me with the necessary treatment. On September 17th, I packed my belongings and within the next 24 hours, I was in the passenger seat of my parents’ vehicle. I sat for the 2.5 hour-drive away from school listening to music and answering questions that my parents had. I would not see my new friends, school mates and everything connected to my high school, Westminster, until early 2019. Children’s Day Unit (CDU) at Columbia University is a program in NYC that provides people with psychiatric treatment and emphasized recovery. The providers at the CDU always stress that we are at the program for two things: 1) start/continue our journey of treatment and 2) continue our performance in academia. I was diagnosed with OCD, specifically contamination and scrupulosity. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), a subcategory of Anxiety, is a cycle of intrusive thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. The intrusive feelings and thoughts take over one’s head space and the only way one will think to settle and/or alleviate its overwhelming presence is to do compulsions, which are the rituals and behaviors. When the thoughts and anxious feelings arrived, even though I have not cheated in school, I purposely wrote down incorrect answers for any assessment. People looked at me with a different eye when I was in class because of my unusual movements and sitting positions, and my grades suffered during my freshman and beginning of sophomore year. On the contrary, old habits die and these die gradually. For starters, I have the ability to manage any discomfort of cheating. The anxious feeling still comes, but the frequency has abated. Also, I have learned study habits and started to read more since my focus was getting better emotionally AND educationally. With these experiences and memories comes wisdom. During my time at the CDU, I can say that they have helped me towards the goal of going back and succeeding at school. With the help of many providers, I was steered back on the right track in this race of life. As I hold on to these first-hand experiences, I am able to provide support and guidance for whoever that follows in a similar path of anxiety by recommending contact with the campus medical team or just be a shoulder to cry on. In the words of my psychologist, “You are not your OCD,” and believing is the first step.

For close to 2 weeks I was sitting at home, watching Netflix, sleeping, eating, doing chores, and attempting to complete some academic work. This may resemble the routine of a student during winter or spring break. However in my case, this was during the first month of school because of the severity of my OCD. This choice to leave was not decided by me, but by the school since my condition had become so severe that my school’s medical team was not able to provide me with the necessary treatment. On September 17th, I packed my belongings and within the next 24 hours, I was in the passenger seat of my parents’ vehicle. I sat for the 2.5 hour-drive away from school listening to music and answering questions that my parents had. I would not see my new friends, school mates and everything connected to my high school, Westminster, until early 2019. Children’s Day Unit (CDU) at Columbia University is a program in NYC that provides people with psychiatric treatment and emphasized recovery. The providers at the CDU always stress that we are at the program for two things: 1) start/continue our journey of treatment and 2) continue our performance in academia. I was diagnosed with OCD, specifically contamination and scrupulosity. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), a subcategory of Anxiety, is a cycle of intrusive thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. The intrusive feelings and thoughts take over one’s head space and the only way one will think to settle and/or alleviate its overwhelming presence is to do compulsions, which are the rituals and behaviors. When the thoughts and anxious feelings arrived, even though I have not cheated in school, I purposely wrote down incorrect answers for any assessment. People looked at me with a different eye when I was in class because of my unusual movements and sitting positions, and my grades suffered during my freshman and beginning of sophomore year. On the contrary, old habits die and these die gradually. For starters, I have the ability to manage any discomfort. The anxious feeling still comes, but the frequency has abated. Also, I have learned study habits and started to read more since my focus was getting better emotionally AND educationally. With these experiences and memories comes wisdom. During my time at the CDU I can say that they have helped me towards the goal of going back and succeeding at school. With the help of many providers, I was steered back on the right track in this race of life. As I hold on to these first-hand experiences, I am able to provide support and guidance for whoever that follows in a similar path of anxiety by recommending contact with the campus medical team or just be a shoulder to cry on. In the words of my psychologist, “You are not your OCD,” and believing is the first step.

Imagine a teacher showing you basic openings every Wednesday and Friday for an hour. We had to sit through it and apply it to our games which either happened later that class or next class. One day teacher told us we were going to learn chess and then, we learned chess. I started to learn chess in elementary school. My school used to have teachers come in once a week and we learned the basics: pieces, movement, tactics, and strategies. I did this from 3rd grade to 5th grade. I also used to play chess after school to get more practice. I competed in one chess tournament and that is it. There was no chess in my middle school or my high school. I was reminded to play chess because I was dedicated to it. Then, in high school, my mother reflected with me on how I was so dedicated to chess. I agreed with her, but I told her that there was no chess at my school. So, I started a chess club. I taught people who did not know how to play chess and I watched games take place. I would show tactics as well. This was all fun because chess was a game where you appreciate the moves of yourself and the opponent. In chess, you have to think a couple of moves ahead of each turn in order to anticipate your opponent while also being in good standing. This forward-thinking has applied to my decision-making in my life. Whether that be choosing to order something, or deciding what to wear, you need decision-making in order to live and thrive. For example, if I am making a decision to do an event, I would need to look ahead at how that event would impact my night or schoolwork. Developing this skill within chess allows me to create a schedule that I follow. Also, pattern recognition is something else that I learned from chess. Once you reach a certain level in chess, the rest of the moves are moves that you have studied. This pattern recognition helps with memory. You also get to use your mind and develop your thinking skills which help in school. My career goal is to be a chorister, but I also enjoy studying languages. My experience playing chess influenced my life goals in a weird way. The skills like decision making and pattern recognition did help solidify my goal in life; but, in the beginning, chess and the skills from chess did not influence my decision. It was after I made the choice to go through the performing arts route that I used the skills in chess to determine whether or not I wanted that career. Like, in chess, there are many options to a move. And sometimes, you might go down a lane that was not so clear in the beginning but becomes clearer in the middle or end game. You get to even surprise yourself as well. I did not know I wanted to learn languages and be chorister well into my high school years for studying both of these things.

For close to two weeks, I was sitting at home, watching Netflix, sleeping, eating, doing chores, and attempting to complete some academic work. Although this may resemble the routine of a student on spring break, this was me during the first month of school because of the severity of my OCD. I did not choose to leave; however, my condition had become so severe that my school’s medical team was not able to provide me with the necessary treatment. On September 17th, 2019, I packed my belongings and within the next 24 hours, I was in the passenger seat of my parents’ vehicle. I sat for the two-and-a-half-hour drive away from school listening to music and answering questions that my parents had. It was very stressful because they had a lot of questions that I did not know the answer to or that I did not feel comfortable sharing. I would not see my new friends, school mates, and everything connected to my high school, Westminster, until early 2019. I did not know what it was called at the time, but anxiety would cloud my mind for hours on end. I would wake up and think about stuff that no logical person thinks. My chest would tighten and my heart would beat so fast. I used to feel so much guilt that it became second nature. Also, with my anxiety, I would wash my hands for at least twenty seconds every time. Whenever I touched something that I deemed dirty, I washed my hands. People looked at me differently when I was in class because of my unusual movements and sitting positions. All of this started to interfere with my school work and my social life, so I understood why I had to leave. Back in my home city, I took a test and was then later accepted into the Children’s Day Unit (CDU). This is a program at Columbia University that provides people with psychiatric treatment and emphasizes recovery. They diagnosed me with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), specifically contamination and scrupulosity. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, a subcategory of Anxiety, is a cycle of intrusive thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. The intrusive feelings and thoughts take over your headspace and the only way one will think to settle and/or alleviate its overwhelming presence is to do compulsions, which are the rituals and behaviors. The providers at the CDU always stressed that we were there for two reasons: to start/continue our journey of treatment and to continue our performance in academia. As the saying goes, old habits die hard. For starters, I have the ability to manage any discomfort. The anxious feelings still come, but the frequency has abated. I also learned study habits. Since my focus was getting better emotionally and educationally, I started to read more. With these experiences and memories come wisdom. My time at the CDU helped me towards the goal of going back and succeeding at school. With the help of many providers, I was steered back on the right track in this race of life. As I hold on to these first-hand experiences, I can provide support and guidance for whoever follows in a similar path of anxiety by recommending contact with the campus medical team or just be a shoulder to cry on. In the words of my psychologist, “You are not your OCD,” and believing is the first step.