I am passionate about pursuing a career in therapy because it has always been my calling in life. It is the reason I exist on this earth. There’s a common phrase “if you do what you love, you’ll never work a day in your life”. Turns out, I’ve already been doing what I love, just not for work. Throughout my life, many people would seek me out for help, whether to come to me for advice or to share something personal. Sometimes I would wonder why they felt so comfortable sharing secrets with me. At the same time, I would constantly be put into certain situations where I would have thoughts such as "I can help these kinds of people if I was a therapist" and “I need to be a therapist.” I would always push those thoughts aside with some excuse like "we don't have the money" or "the kids are too young" until I came to a point in my life where I could no longer ignore that calling.
On October 11, 2022, my brother passed away after battling with mental illness and addiction. I truly believe it was a spiritual battle for him. For several years prior, he struggled with alcoholism and after several attempts at rehab and numerous hospitalizations, he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in spring of 2022. I do believe his substance use contributed to his mental state. As far as we knew, mental illness did not run in the family. However, if it did, it was not talked about because it was very taboo in the Slavic culture, especially in the Slavic church where you were told to just “pray” your problems away. Although faith can be a source of peace for a lot of people, I don’t believe it is a substitute for therapy.
When I read my brother’s journals they are mostly prayers and Bible verses. I see the anguish, the struggles, and even though I know I won’t get my questions answered here on Earth, I find peace in the fact that I know this life is not the end and we will be reunited again. On New Year's Eve, my brother came to me in a dream and told me there was nothing I could have done to stop his death. I told my therapist about the dream and she teared up saying “What a way to start the year! This sounds like the closure you need.” I would like to help guide people through grief like my therapist did for me. I would also like to help anyone and everyone struggling with mental health and/or addiction. I think my brother would have benefited immensely from therapy.
My goal is to complete my Master’s in Counseling Psychology and become a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor (LPCC) and License Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). While I am in the program, I would like to complete my practicum in a county program where I know there is a huge shortage of mental health professionals. After I am licensed, I hope to continue to work either in the county, or a school, prison, or hospital setting. I know there is a huge need in so many different areas in the mental health field. I have always felt this “pull” towards this field and losing my brother was the final push I needed to finally pursue the calling I have felt for many years.