I have been drawn to math because it offers, like life, many different paths that can lead you to the right place. Some problems I find I can easily navigate and find the answer immediately, and some require multiple steps and trials to arrive at the correct answer. I feel these have shaped my view of the world because I often lose sight of my goals or how to find motivation to continue, but math supplies me with an analogy to the real world: there are specific equations/strategies to approach a problem, but what you choose to do with them and the information given can change the final answer. Personally, math has been a journey for me. When I was in elementary school, I took the information I was being taught and accepted it without needing explanations or the reasoning behind it. In high school and my first year in college, I have been shown proofs and the reasoning behind mathematical phenomena. This also applies to my growth as a person and how I view the world. When I was younger, all I was told was accepted as a fact. As I have grown and matured, I have learned to ask questions and further pursue the "why" behind systems, as some preconceived ideas may not be true or may not apply to every situation. Math supplies me with a large analogy of curiosity, basic tools to conquer larger issues, and creativity to apply what I have learned to reach an end goal. Similar to the concept of mathematics, I learned perseverance to continue working on a problem and being determined to learn and better myself. If I got a problem wrong on my math homework, I would look at the explanation, and move on to correct my mistake in the next problem. This also applies to my understanding of the world in that it makes me feel as though my mistakes provide a framework for learning, and that there is always an opportunity to use setbacks as potential advantages moving forward. If I get a problem wrong or get stuck, I am more likely to see this issue and watch out for ways to avoid it later, just like in life; by not getting a specific role in my university because I did not take the opportunity in a form to thoroughly answer the response, I learned I must always put forth my best effort into all of my work in order to do what I can, when I can, to get what I deserve.

I have been able to hone in on my "tinkering" skills using photoshop, where I place people into photos. This has often brought joy to groups of people when we pull pranks and pretend someone was at an event when they were not, or adding people into family photos in order to include the full extended family. My family has appreciated this simple software when I added some family members who were unable to be at a gathering, or removing shadows from photos that made it difficult to spot everyone. I have used various software skills in my coding skills, especially in my first year at the University of Minnesota this past year. I was able to cross-compare various nutrients available in soils at specific sites in order to asses the extent of climate change and the manner in which it has detectably changed the environment. I have learned I have a passion for this, and I have begun to look at the impacts of climate change on the coral reefs in Australia. Detecting specific implications and consequences using modern technology provides me with delight because I feel I can work towards showing differences and bringing challenges to light to promote and propose solutions. It delights my family as well to see I am so passionate about finding new ways to be of service to my community and work through mental challenges. My instructors and peers also are delighted when I can aid them with their coding to look into their own interests. For example, I have looked into the heritability of mental illness and their direct impact on brain function, which is something I believe can be of vital importance in the future. I think it can also reduce the stigma around mental illness because it shows it as more of a biological condition to those who see it as a choice or easier to solve than it is in actuality. I have been able to delight more people by my fluency in technology basics, from helping my family with problems in navigating their issues with a computer or sending large files. I have been able to use Microsoft Excel in the laboratory I work in as well at the University of Minnesota Center for Immunology. I work to enter data regarding specific strains of experimental mice and their conditions present to cross-reference against mice with leukemia, mice treated with tamoxifen, mice lacking in specific proteins thought to play a role in cancer, and more. This is something I am fortunate enough to have a role in doing, and I feel as though I have been able to use my skills to supply the lab with reliable information easily comprehensible through my work in the technological side of research.

In the world, I can now see how not all wounds are visible, as exemplified in the case of mental health. My sister and I both suffer from mental illness, and she lost a friend to suicide a few years ago. The young girl appeared to be thriving, and she lost her life at age fourteen due to the hidden struggles no one was able to see. This was a hard hit on my family because we had a connection to the girl and her experiences. We felt this was an opportunity to open up and discuss mental illness more openly, and never to neglect or underestimate the load someone bears because they are not externally showing signs of struggle. My experiences with attempted suicide and others' stories has shaped my view of how fragile life is and how we can never judge a person from their actions. I have been diagnosed by a plethora of mental illnesses, including depression, anxiety, and an eating disorder. In the beginning, I was wondering why I could have been chosen to suffer through these adversities, but I have since realized that I am able to be more understanding of the world and how others can be feeling as well. When I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety in the fourth grade, I found I was able to empathize more with the kids who did not share the apparent drive to accomplish as others, and often disconnected themselves, not from lack of wanting, but from the lack of energy and hopelessness associated with it. I am grateful for my diagnoses because it has allowed me to help others as I can because I also feel confused and struggle to find the end of suffering, but I find that confiding in others and establishing those connections has worked to benefit both sides of the partnership. I love learning about how I can advocate for others. My younger sister battles depression and anxiety as well, and I know I can be a model to her and serve as an older sister who can accomplish her goals while living with mental illness. I often wake her up and make sure she gets her day started, which is often difficult to her. I find my sister and I have grown closer as a result of our shared experiences and battles with mental health. In the case of my parents, however, I feel it has almost disconnected me from them. I feel there is a lack of understanding from both sides, where I get confused why my parents are not giving me much attention or appearing not to care, when they, in actuality, are afraid to approach me and set me off to do harm to myself. I find this lack of communication was something I worked towards mending, especially during the pandemic, and I try to be more open and honest with them about my struggles. I have learned they are navigating through this with me, and we all have never had to cope with it before, so we are all learning as we make mistakes. With my eating disorder especially, I have grown apart from my family because I get frustrated when meals would be made outside of my comfort zone, causing a rift in my family. This was especially difficult for my family to overcome because the control I had over my food was taken from me, and my eating disorder controlled my mind to be upset when they would do something nice like cook for me instead of being grateful. Outside of a career, I would like to be an advocate for mental health and encourage people to open up about their struggles; the stigma around these diagnoses are seldom associated with intelligent, kind, and high-functioning individuals as most of the sufferers are. I feel my viewpoint of eating disorders also had shifted since I have first-handedly experienced it. The idea of mental illness and the lack of willpower to cure yourself or change mindsets is a toxic trait of contemporary society, and I have felt being afraid to talk about it in fear others will see me as vain, weak, or attention-seeking. This has taught me new perspectives and a view that others should not be judged negatively, especially since I do not know their hidden adversities and their full day-to-day struggles, from getting courage to leave the house to accepting the loss of control over every aspect of life.

I have been diagnosed by a plethora of mental illnesses, including depression, anxiety, and an eating disorder. In the beginning, I was wondering why I could have been chosen to suffer through these adversities, but I have since realized that I am able to be more understanding of the world and how others can be feeling as well. When I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety in the fourth grade, I found I was able to empathize more with the kids who did not share the apparent drive to accomplish as others, and often disconnected themselves, not from lack of wanting, but from the lack of energy and hopelessness associated with it. I am grateful for my diagnoses because it has allowed me to help others as I can because I also feel confused and struggle to find the end of suffering, but I find that confiding in others and establishing those connections has worked to benefit both sides of the partnership. I love learning about how I can advocate for others. My younger sister battles depression and anxiety as well, and I know I can be a model to her and serve as an older sister who can accomplish her goals while living with mental illness. I often wake her up and make sure she gets her day started, which is often difficult to her. I find my sister and I have grown closer as a result of our shared experiences and battles with mental health. In the case of my parents, however, I feel it has almost disconnected me from them. I feel there is a lack of understanding from both sides, where I get confused why my parents are not giving me much attention or appearing not to care, when they, in actuality, are afraid to approach me and set me off to do harm to myself. I find this lack of communication was something I worked towards mending, especially during the pandemic, and I try to be more open and honest with them about my struggles. I have learned they are navigating through this with me, and we all have never had to cope with it before, so we are all learning as we make mistakes. With my eating disorder especially, I have grown apart from my family because I get frustrated when meals would be made outside of my comfort zone, causing a rift in my family. This was especially difficult for my family to overcome because the control I had over my food was taken from me, and my eating disorder controlled my mind to be upset when they would do something nice like cook for me instead of being grateful. With these mental illnesses and the experiences I have had personally and with my sister, I have learned I would like to become a medical professional in order to help others with ailments and adversities they feel was handed to them without reason. I want to provide a person to them to trust and be there for support because I have come to learn that not all people are as fortunate as I am to have a connection to my family, who has the patience and accountability to be there when I need help most. I also see that my family has been able to pay for my therapy and counseling through high school, until recently. Money has not been an issue until college, where we struggle to pay for expenses and I have to make the ends meet myself. In this case, I see how I took the ability to pay for help for granted because my access was not something that I had ever been denied throughout grade school and high school. In the future, I hope to become a care provider and work towards more affordable healthcare to help decrease the disparities between social classes and the level of care they are able to receive. My goals have been amplified through my mental health experiences because I do not want people to ever feel alone as I did at times, and I want to make sure the people who never before had the opportunity for help are able to receive it. In the world, I can now see how not all wounds are visible, as exemplified in the case of mental health. My sister and I both suffer from mental illness, and she lost a friend to suicide a few years ago. The young girl appeared to be thriving, and she lost her life at age fourteen due to the hidden struggles no one was able to see. This was a hard hit on my family because we had a connection to the girl and her experiences. We felt this was an opportunity to open up and discuss mental illness more openly, and never to neglect or underestimate the load someone bears because they are not externally showing signs of struggle. My experiences with attempted suicide and others' stories has shaped my view of how fragile life is and how we can never judge a person from their actions. Outside of a career, I would like to be an advocate for mental health and encourage people to open up about their struggles; the stigma around these diagnoses are seldom associated with intelligent, kind, and high-functioning individuals as most of the sufferers are. I feel my viewpoint of eating disorders also had shifted since I have first-handedly experienced it. The idea of mental illness and the lack of willpower to cure yourself or change mindsets is a toxic trait of contemporary society, and I have felt being afraid to talk about it in fear others will see me as vain, weak, or attention-seeking. This has taught me new perspectives and a view that others should not be judged negatively, especially since I do not know their hidden adversities and their full day-to-day struggles, from getting courage to leave the house to accepting the loss of control over every aspect of life.

I have been diagnosed by a plethora of mental illnesses, including depression, anxiety, and an eating disorder. In the beginning, I was wondering why I could have been chosen to suffer through these adversities, but I have since realized that I am able to be more understanding of the world and how others can be feeling as well. When I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety in the fourth grade, I found I was able to empathize more with the kids who did not share the apparent drive to accomplish as others, and often disconnected themselves, not from lack of wanting, but from the lack of energy and hopelessness associated with it. I am grateful for my diagnoses because it has allowed me to help others as I can because I also feel confused and struggle to find the end of suffering, but I find that confiding in others and establishing those connections has worked to benefit both sides of the partnership. I love learning about how I can advocate for others. My younger sister battles depression and anxiety as well, and I know I can be a model to her and serve as an older sister who can accomplish her goals while living with mental illness. I often wake her up and make sure she gets her day started, which is often difficult to her. I find my sister and I have grown closer as a result of our shared experiences and battles with mental health. In the case of my parents, however, I feel it has almost disconnected me from them. I feel there is a lack of understanding from both sides, where I get confused why my parents are not giving me much attention or appearing not to care, when they, in actuality, are afraid to approach me and set me off to do harm to myself. I find this lack of communication was something I worked towards mending, especially during the pandemic, and I try to be more open and honest with them about my struggles. I have learned they are navigating through this with me, and we all have never had to cope with it before, so we are all learning as we make mistakes. With my eating disorder especially, I have grown apart from my family because I get frustrated when meals would be made outside of my comfort zone, causing a rift in my family. This was especially difficult for my family to overcome because the control I had over my food was taken from me, and my eating disorder controlled my mind to be upset when they would do something nice like cook for me instead of being grateful. With these mental illnesses and the experiences I have had personally and with my sister, I have learned I would like to become a medical professional in order to help others with ailments and adversities they feel was handed to them without reason. I want to provide a person to them to trust and be there for support because I have come to learn that not all people are as fortunate as I am to have a connection to my family, who has the patience and accountability to be there when I need help most. I also see that my family has been able to pay for my therapy and counseling through high school, until recently. Money has not been an issue until college, where we struggle to pay for expenses and I have to make the ends meet myself. In this case, I see how I took the ability to pay for help for granted because my access was not something that I had ever been denied throughout grade school and high school. In the future, I hope to become a care provider and work towards more affordable healthcare to help decrease the disparities between social classes and the level of care they are able to receive. My goals have been amplified through my mental health experiences because I do not want people to ever feel alone as I did at times, and I want to make sure the people who never before had the opportunity for help are able to receive it. In the world, I can now see how not all wounds are visible, as exemplified in the case of mental health. My sister and I both suffer from mental illness, and she lost a friend to suicide a few years ago. The young girl appeared to be thriving, and she lost her life at age fourteen due to the hidden struggles no one was able to see. This was a hard hit on my family because we had a connection to the girl and her experiences. We felt this was an opportunity to open up and discuss mental illness more openly, and never to neglect or underestimate the load someone bears because they are not externally showing signs of struggle. My experiences with attempted suicide and others' stories has shaped my view of how fragile life is and how we can never judge a person from their actions. Outside of a career, I would like to be an advocate for mental health and encourage people to open up about their struggles; the stigma around these diagnoses are seldom associated with intelligent, kind, and high-functioning individuals as most of the sufferers are. I feel my viewpoint of eating disorders also had shifted since I have first-handedly experienced it. The idea of mental illness and the lack of willpower to cure yourself or change mindsets is a toxic trait of contemporary society, and I have felt being afraid to talk about it in fear others will see me as vain, weak, or attention-seeking. This has taught me new perspectives and a view that others should not be judged negatively, especially since I do not know their hidden adversities and their full day-to-day struggles, from getting courage to leave the house to accepting the loss of control over every aspect of life.

I believe Substance Use Disorder is a form of coping many resort to in the absence of other outlets. The added adversity of people suffering combined with the shortage of care available to them exponentially increases the difficulty of those already suffering. In the pandemic, more people fall into this unfortunate situation. The increase in the need for care coupled with the decreased care options available means the staffing and treatment needs to be both accessible and efficient in its treatment. I believe the ideal online treatment center would be able to offer multiple different types of treatment, including one-on-one therapy, alternative coping mechanisms, and group discussions. I think the last option would be especially helpful when people who are generally isolated from the pandemic can realize their troubles are not only heard but also shared. The treatment should be versatile, especially since not all patients are responsive to the same modes of care. I feel the people with SUD should be able to have follow-up visits and 24/7 help for when they need to contact someone for help. Though most people who suffer feel alone in their journey through recovery, I feel a connection to someone would be vital to their overall success. If this could be the same person or care team for their treatment, it would be best for the established feelings of trust and support. Though I have not personally suffered with Substance Use Disorder, I do have adversities of my own where treatment has become more difficult to receive as a result of the pandemic. In my experience with an eating disorder, depression, and anxiety, I was hesitant the introduction of online treatment was not going to be effectual. In this case, I felt I was missing the physical aspect of seeing my care team, which I believed would rob me of the emotional support I had felt in the past from in-person treatment. To me, however, some care was better than nothing at all, so I began online appointments and treatment. These exceeded my expectations, and I think having a care team was crucial to my treatment. I have an online messaging center that I can access at any time, and I also found that important for my treatment. If there was an online center, I believe a variety of different specialists with a wide range of care options would be appreciated for the patients; I am thinking of some who specialize in prescription medication, alcohol, and other substances, as well as specialists in cognitive-behavioral therapy, psychotherapy, and other approaches to treatment. I feel the versatility of care should still be available to people, even if it is through an online platform. On-demand care, as well as scheduled appointments, are of vital importance to the center. Theoretically, a helpline combined with a scheduling-based treatment would cover people's emergent needs and general improvement along their road to recovery. Being forced to move online, due to the pandemic, has caused many people, including myself, to be doubtful that the care would be sufficient to continue improvement. However, I was proven to be incorrect with new additions to the care system and multiple types of resources available to me. I would like the online treatment center to provide care for all backgrounds, ages, and social classes; to do this, a low-to-no-cost option would be best to support people who have been unemployed or are struggling to support themselves or loved ones. I would not want their personal care and treatment to be placed on the back burner to make way for a priority of survival, but this is often the case. I believe my ideal online center would be able to accommodate people with different needs and styles of coping in order to ensure the treatment is best fit for them.

I have always thought of math as an intriguing subject, and I actually enjoyed calculus. I am fascinated by the ways of thinking and the concepts of formulas being invented with only ideas and an expected outcome, even if it is not a physical discovery. I feel like math creates a bridge between creativity and critical thinking. It has brought me to tears, but it has also taught me that I can find many ways to reach the same answer, and part of the process of learning includes running into obstacles and using the available tools to tackle them. I enjoy how math includes a correct answer that I can check, but how it may also have infinite forms, such as the trigonometric functions. I have created an answer that could look entirely different from the person next to me, but yet they are, in their conversions, the same. This also applies to the human world. We all may present ourselves in a different way, but we are connected in the same way. Our paths may be different to reach a different ending, but really we all find a way in the end. It may sound cliché, but I prefer the ideas of math to the ideas of writing because it offers a definitive "yes" or "no" about if I understand the concepts, whereas there is a spectrum of correct answers, ranging from perfect to incorrect, in writing. I have been able to see this is not how life occurs, for the most part. In life, it is often difficult to know if the direction I chose is the "right" direction, and my biggest fear is making the wrong decision. It is a pleasure to have math, where I can see one thing at a time and take it step-by-step and know if I am doing something correctly. I strongly believe math is simultaneously a parallel to the real world but yet a paradox because the real world is unknown, unlike the answers to some math problems, but new ways can be invented, and even new formulas, to make life simpler or more comprehensible.

I have struggled with many mental health. Actually, it is about the only thing that has stayed consistent in my life. One minute I am controlled my depression and anxiety, the next I am doing well and feeling as though I have finally defeated it. I often forget mental health is not something that is a one-time fix, and the coping strategies are not universal. I have fixed goals for myself out of anxiety about the future, but setting these goals gives me hope and something to strive for. My mental health issues may have helped me to achieve at such a high rate. In relationships, I may seem distant or shy in the beginning because I am worried I will make an impression that can portray me incorrectly. I feel guilty for talking too much about myself. These feelings are something I continually struggle with, but I know I can overcome them. I realize most of my worries are only in my head, and people do not pay attention to my every move to judge me, contrary to my belief. People closest to me are impacted by my mental health, but they continually support and check in on me to make sure I do not spiral into isolation. My friends have dragged me out of bed to spontaneously go out for breakfast or go for a hike, and I appreciate how they are adventurous and inspire me to go out instead of remaining inside. My family has frequent game nights, where we channel our competitiveness and also bond over stories from our day. The relationship with my family is changed because they are setting routines I can follow and giving me something to look forward to, such as our game nights and the routine of chores. Without the routine in place, I often get overwhelmed and find it difficult to accomplish simple tasks. My view of the world has changed by my mental health and the struggles I face. I understand other people can be feeling differently than they how they appear, and I also try to help them by being supportive and understanding their adversity is not the same as mine. They may need different help than me, and I try to adapt and help as I can. Most people are impacted by mental health, and fluctuations in it can change how they act. It makes me more patient and kind to others because I truly do not know if they are struggling themselves. I see how life passes me by, my mental health deteriorating after a long winter and a summer that passes by too quickly. I have learned to appreciate the smaller things that I can depend on every day, such as the sunset, the warmth of the sun through my window, and a warm shower to wash away any stress from the day. I feel comforted by taking care of myself, but I often spiral and find it difficult to restart the routine of self-care. I am glad I have a support system to get me out of a hole I dig myself into. I can cope with my mental health alone, but I can be so much more than average with them surrounding me. Mental health can take control of all aspects of my life, but I choose every day to be better and work toward my goals.

I am thankful for the people surround me and the opportunities I have been presented. My family has been extremely supportive of me and my decisions as we enter into another lockdown, and we have made traditions of our own during the holidays. My friends, though I do not physically see them, have checked on me frequently and made sure I am in a good mental state. I reciprocate the same feelings, and I am extremely thankful for this connection I have been fortunate to have. My community has given me opportunities, and I have donated blood to support the cause, as well as work a blood drive. This is not for volunteer hours, but, in all honesty, for me to feel better during this pandemic. I feel as though I have been stagnant in my community, and doing good to improve someone’s day, or life, increases my morale. I am thankful that I am able to give, and I am not in need. I have not thought of how important my health was until I have heard countless stories of others who worry about theirs. Simply being in a state to give is an advantage, and I am thankful. I am also thankful because of my youth. This time has given me the opportunity to plan and reflect. When I am not in action, I am planning. So much of my life is ahead of me, and it give me hope. I am thankful for my situation. Amidst the pandemic, I realize how great my life is, and how much potential it has to improve. I learned the value of face-to-face connection, and I am thankful that, one day, I can resume previous conditions. I am aso thankful for living in a country where I can voice my opinion. I was able to vote in the election, and it put into perspective how others outside of the United States do not have this right given to them. I can influence the world with my voice, and I am thankful I am not silenced.