When it comes to the conversation about mental health I am one of the loudest in the room to speaking about it. My life has been full of ups and downs mentally not just for me, but for people around me as well. From childhood trauma to experience trauma as an adult mental health has really been the story of my life. I’ve never been one to allow the bad to keep me down. This is and will always be my biggest reason for going to school for Psychology. I needed to have understanding about how my mind worked, especially with all the trauma I had experienced. Also the mind of others and how the things we experience make us who we are. Studying psychology has allowed me to not only get the help I needed but to speak loud and proud about the benefits of therapy and things like mindfulness and meditation. 2019 I lost my fiance to suicide. At the young age of 24 he decided enough was enough and he didn’t want to do this life thing anymore. Finding him lifeless due to all the trauma he experienced hurt my heart, but it also made me stronger. Believe it or not it gave me the strength to speak up about mental health. It drove me to have way more compassion for others, it gave me the love I needed to assist others with healing. Did I need therapy after experiencing this? Yes. Lots of it too. As many time as I wanted to give up and say forget it all, I knew I couldn’t because I have to be the voice that saves. Life is hard. Life can be draining and one thing I’ve learned everyone is not as strong to be about to pick themselves up on their own. Sometimes help is needed. I am going to be that help for others. I am going to see to children having that positive motivating force in their lives. I am going to help those who can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. I promise myself to always give resources and knowledge about mental health and how to overcome the bad. Upon successful completion of my bachelor degree in psychology my plan is to become a school psychologist, counselor or special worker. Childhood trauma is something I know all too well and I want to help children like myself grow and move forward from the trauma they have experienced. I also want to start a group home that helps children who have experienced abuse of any kind. What will allow my home to stand out is that it will be more family oriented and felt. Giving kids the stability they need to go out into the world and be successful adults. I asked God after my ex killed himself “Why did you put me here lord”? His answer was so simple “You are here to change and save lives”. I promise, I will do just that.

Never in a million years did I ever think I’d speak the words “I found my Ex fiancé dead”. Out of everything I’ve experienced in my life although it was 6 years ago, it was one of the most hardest things I’ve had to get through. But I thank God I got through it. March 21, 2019 me and my child’s life would change drastically after I would go outside that morning and find my at the time fiancé dead with a gunshot wound to the head. Later that day after the police finished conducting their interviews in the neighborhood we livened in it would be found that he had intended to kill me then himself. Talk about scary right? And through knowing all of this my heart still hurt for him being gone. I could help but wonder how would I go on? Raising our daughter? Finishing school? Running my household? I can be so honest and say I was scared. Not to mention my grandmother who raised me died 8 months before this would happen. I was lost, afaid, worried, sad, any negative emotion you can name, I felt. I did what I felt was best and I unenrolled myself from school and shut down from the world to get myself together. I moved out of state and I trusted that God had a better plan for me than the one I had for myself. I also got into therapy and I made it a point to tell the this story within my story as a form of healing. The hardest part is telling yourself it is and was not your fault. I lived with that thought for years. I can say that now I am in a much better place with those thoughts. I now understand it was in no way my fault. 2021 of April I moved to Dallas, Texas to start over, I told God if it be for me to go back to school then so it shall be. I recently had the time to look over my life now and I realize that I was put on this earth to save lives. Part of me doing that is finishing school to receive my B.A. in psychology so that I can have an understanding of how others think and operate which will allow me to help as needed. Me getting my degree in combination with the trauma I’ve experienced not only as an adult but as a child as well is going to open up lots of door for me where I can serve my purpose here on earth. This experience taught me to love and care for people on a different level. Life happens to us all and some of us can handle it and some of us are not equipped to and that’s okay. But those who we know can’t or struggle on a regular basis mentally, check on them. Love on them. My ex did an amazing job at making things seem fine when really deep down he was dying. I made a promise to me and my ex that I would be an advocate for suicide. I will tell his story, our story until I’m old and grey and when I tell it, it will save lives and leave an impact on those you hear it. 6 years later I am healed and still healing. I am grateful for the time 7 years he and I shared and I am now focused on getting our daughter to adulthood and finishing my degree so that I can be part of the change the world needs.