Musical theatre is a collection of different forms of art. Music, acting, dance, costume design, and set design come together to form a work of visual art for an audience to consume. Just as artists use paints and brushes to tell a story on a canvas, the cast and crew of a musical work to tell a story on a stage. Art can transport you to a different world or make you see things from a perspective you have never seen before. These works of art are important to understand the people around us. A mural of a marginalized group can tell their story and make people aware of what they are going through, just as a musical addressing mental health can help audience members understand what someone with a mental health disorder is going through. I want to be a stage manager to help tell these important stories that give a voice to the people whose points of view don’t get heard enough. When I see a mural or graffiti I think, “ Who painted this and why. What’s their story and what’s the story of this piece of art.” Many people pass by graffiti after looking at it for a few seconds, but I wonder how much knowledge a person could obtain from spending a few minutes analyzing what it means. In my high school, there was a mural in a secluded area of the school that I would pass by on occasion, not thinking anything other than, “That’s nice.” One day during lunch I sat on a bench that was facing parallel to the mural. As I was eating my food, I started to notice the details of the art, and by the end of my lunch period, I was able to piece together a story about a man who decided to quit his monotonous office job and go back to school to pursue his dream. I was in a dual enrollment program, and my high school was on a community college campus where many students had similar stories to the man in the mural. The thought struck me that for years, I had been looking at this mural on the way to class but had never actually seen it. I wondered how many people even knew that our school had this mural. I wondered how many students passed by it every day and didn’t notice that it was telling a story similar to their own and how they would feel if they did see it. After that day, I made it a point to tell my friends about the mural and its story. At first, they were surprised I was even bringing it up to them because it’s just a mural. After telling them the story about the man, they also realized its significance to our campus and told their other friends. By doing my part and drawing attention to a hidden work of art, I hope that I made a group of people feel seen in a way that they hadn’t before. Taking classes with people older than me was sometimes intimidating because I felt that they wouldn’t take me seriously. After seeing this mural, I made it a point to get to know more of my classmates and their stories. This also caused me to appreciate my school for its affordable education that I took for granted. From now on, I will spend a few extra minutes looking at murals and graffiti to gain more knowledge about the world and the people around me.

Throughout elementary and middle school I was known as the girl who would not speak. I never raised my hand to answer a question, I only had two friends, and would never talk to anyone unless I was spoken to first. When a teacher would call on me, it would feel as though my tongue was as heavy as cement and I would not be able to even open my mouth. Once in eighth grade, my social studies teacher asked me to come to the board and point out where a certain country was. Geography was never my strong suit, and I did not expect her to call on me. It took what felt like an hour to get out of my seat, the entire time hoping that she would give up and call on someone else. When I got to the board, I froze and just stood staring at the board with the whiteboard marker in my hand. Eventually, my teacher told me to go back to my seat and she called on another student. I could hear the other students in my class laughing at me as I made my way back. I remember how stupid I felt and telling myself, “Good job. Now everyone knows that you are an idiot.” It was hard to hold back my tears but I told myself to stop acting like a child and get over it. In my junior year of high school, I started driver’s education. Before every virtual meeting, I would have a sinking feeling in my stomach because my teacher cold-called on students. On my first drive, I began to cry before I had even started. My instructor started asking me questions, and because I was so overwhelmingly nervous, I could not think straight. My instructor also escalated my nervousness by saying things like, “Do you want to hit that car,” which led to me crying on my third drive as well because I was driving around a busy area and was very overwhelmed. My instructor told me to pull over the car, and when I tried explaining what was wrong, I physically had a difficult time opening my mouth and could not say the words. Everyone in my class was younger than me and I remember feeling worthless because I was not able to do something that they were able to do, even though I was older. It was not until recently that I discovered that I have anxiety. After that, my overwhelming nervousness before school presentations, difficulty speaking to new people, and moments where I freeze started to make sense to me. Since then it has been easier to explain to people why I feel the way that I do in certain situations, and it has been easier to get support. A big inspiration to me has been my friend Ayla. She discovered that she has depression in our eighth-grade year and she explained to me simply that she would not let that hold her back from everything that she wants to do and enjoy in life, or from the person that she wants to be. She has become my role model and I take her advice daily. Now that I know that I have anxiety, I try to get a little bit better every day when it comes to social situations, and I have come a long way. With the support of my friends and teachers, I have even developed and hosted a podcast with my friend, which is something that I never would have done in middle school. Even though I have anxiety and it is not something that I can get rid of, I can choose to have a positive mindset and do my best to live my life the way that I want it to be lived. One of my goals is to help reduce the stigma surrounding mental health. Along with my fellow students in the mental health club at my school, we helped to educate the student body on what different mental health disorders are, as well as provided resources for those who are struggling. Another one of my goals was to find a way to assist with the research being done on mental health disorders. One day I came across an organization called The Brain and Behavior Research Foundation, and through their website, discovered that they research mental health disorders with the hopes of helping people live productive and happy lives. I planned a fundraiser at my school and we were able to raise money for the organization. I have been able to build stronger relationships because I know more about anxiety. I have built a solid group of friends that I know will stand by me. My family has been very supportive as well and they allow me to push myself to improve my social skills. When I was younger, I believed that I would always have to face things on my own because I did not think that anyone would understand. Something that I wish I had learned sooner is that if you let people in, they may understand more than you realize. Knowing this has given me the comfort that I am not alone. From being in the mental health club I have learned that people around the world struggle with anxiety, but may not know how to verbalize it. The musical Dear Evan Hansen portrays it very well through the song “Waving Through a Window.” The main character Evan feels that life is just passing him by, and he tries to make connections but feels as though he is just waving through a window and waiting to see if anyone has seen him. I relate to Evan and know that many other people do also, which makes reaching out for help and offering help to others much easier. At the end of the day, we are all on planet Earth together, so the more we can help each other, the better.

On the first night of previews for the Broadway show Parade, Neo-Nazis protested at the stage door. Parade is the story of a Jewish man named Leo Frank who was wrongfully convicted of murdering a 13-year-old white girl named Mary Phagan. It is a story of white supremacy and antisemitism. No matter how much evidence there is to support the fact that Frank was innocent, many people still believe that he was guilty. The protest shows that even though Parade has existed for a long time, its message is needed now more than ever because as long as hate exists in the world, its message will still need to be told. I want to be a stage manager on Broadway because I want to help tell those important stories. Shows such as Dear Evan Hansen and Next to Normal which discuss mental health, portray characters that are battling things that many people in real life go through every day. These shows allow people to relate to these characters, and although they are fictional, help them realize that they are not alone. As Dear Evan Hansen states, “Maybe there’s a reason to believe you’ll be okay. Cause when you don’t feel strong enough to stand. You can reach, reach out your hand.” Working on something that can affect a theatre full of people, or even just one person, every day, will make me feel like I am doing something meaningful with my life. I am also passionate about theatre for the collaboration aspect. Many people work behind the scenes for a show to run, and every element must be executed correctly. Working on a show feels like you are part of a team with the goal being to have a good performance that moves the audience. At football games, fans of a team will sit together and root for their team. They will be disappointed together if their team is losing, and celebrate together when their team is winning. This is similar to an audience watching live theatre. When you are watching a show in the audience, every audience member is experiencing it together, and there is a sense of community with the people around you that are enjoying the same thing you are. When I was in middle school, I was made fun of for liking musicals because not many people did, and it made me feel excluded. Now that I know more people that are just as passionate about theatre as I am, I have found a community where I belong, and I no longer feel excluded. Being a stage manager will allow me to be an engrained member of that community.

It was not until very recently that I realized that being unique is a good thing. Since birth, I have always been short. After experiencing some health problems in 8th grade and undergoing a plethora of check-ups, I was diagnosed with Turner's Syndrome. This finally presented me with an explanation for my short stature. Due to the condition, my height was 4’6”. I wasn’t bullied for being short, but I would get constant reminders from fellow students, resulting in comparing myself to others. In the spring/summer semester of 9th grade, I had a limb lengthening surgery that resulted in me growing 3 inches. I had discussed the surgery with my parents, and it was something that I really wanted. The surgery had us living on the hospital campus for recovery. The surgery required that I do physical therapy two to three times a day, and I would also do the actual lengthening twice a day. The surgery was a challenge for me and my family because we had to move our lives over to Maryland for 3 months. I have never been very outspoken, so it was difficult for me to be more open about how I was feeling with my doctor, physical therapists, and parents. The surgery itself had its ups and downs. Physical therapy would sometimes be painful, I had to get used to being in a wheelchair, and there were moments when I felt like what I was doing wasn’t worth it. Everyone, including my doctor and parents, kept telling me that 3 inches would be life-changing, but I didn’t see it that way. It was only after I completed the lengthening process of the surgery that I realized its true impact on my life. Overall, this surgery has made me a stronger person. It required me to be more outspoken, an area in which I’ve greatly improved, as I can now speak in front of a classroom or strangers. I originally wanted to do the surgery in hopes of becoming taller, which would result in me not comparing myself to others in terms of my height. Although the goal was to become taller, I had to understand the real issue that I was struggling with, which was confidence. No matter how tall I became from the surgery, that wouldn’t change how I saw myself as a person. My goal in life is to be able to wake up every morning and like who I am - on the inside and outside, my job, my family, and my friends - and take pride in that person. I haven’t achieved this yet, but the surgery has taught me to use my support system to get through anything, and that I can lean on my support system whenever I need them. In terms of giving back to my community, the confidence that this surgery has given me will allow me to be more vocal regarding issues in my community, such as bullying, to inflict positive change. Unique perspectives and ideas make the world a better place. I will also share my unique experience with Turner’s Syndrome and my limb-lengthening surgery to educate people about Turner’s Syndrome, and to be a voice for other people that have Turner’s Syndrome, to be someone that they can relate to. In the end, being different and the struggles that I had to go through have resulted in me appreciating what I have and who I am more.