Standing next to the heavy door with my back clinging to the silent wall, I and my mother were waiting outside for the teacher to come to the classroom. I could hear my heart yelling in Mandarin out loud: “No! Damn that teacher! God forbid that he would ever reach this class!” Of course, my mother did not hear what my heart was cursing at the moment, but I was sure that I heard the voices of my mother’s heart. She was as nervous as I was, and we could not imagine what our future would hold. “Is moving to the US a correct choice?” This question was circulating in my mind as I was sitting inside the classroom and saw my mother turned away from the door with a melancholic face and wet red eyes, crying and waving. From an early age in my life, I was already informed by my mother that one day, she would take me to another country because of her job as a diplomat. I did not have a choice as a child, so I obeyed her decision to go to Miami. Whenever I went to my class in middle school, I had to open Google Translate on my cell phone and type in whatever word or sentence that I didn’t know. I did try to reach out and expand myself. When I was in ESOL classes, I met different students from different backgrounds. One time, I met a boy from France. He had blonde hair and was about the same height as me. Every time I saw him, he was surrounded by French friends and the local ones. His outgoingness was contagious and attracted me to converse with him. His face was bursting with curiosity and excitement when he first saw me. “Do you speak Chinese?” he asked zealously with his amusing French accent. “Yes I do because I am from Taiwan,” I replied with my influent English. “Wow, that is so cool!” he marveled. He then began to ask for my phone number, and I asked for his. I was so excited because I realized that I took the opportunity to interact with people. I was imagining that shortly, I could be playing a video game with a partner, or I could eat lunch with him, and perhaps, I would even visit his birthday party. However, Dialogue about schoolwork was the only topic in our conversation. Soon, I realized that we rarely had any shared hobbies or commonality as I had imagined. He liked to talk with different friends, but I was quiet most of the time. He played games that I didn’t play. He was always smiling when he was with the crowd, but I could not even approach them. Reality later taught me that people talked to me because I was new. If I did not actively express myself, I would never see that phone number appearing on my device again. Indeed, that was the last time I saw it. My mother lived in another world either. Although she spoke English well, her office work refrained her from being patient and supportive of her son socially and academically. One night, I asked her to help me solving a linear equation, which I had never learned. “Mom, what does 7x + 3 = 24 mean?” I questioned. “It was just x = 3,” she answered. “But what do you have to do to get 3?” I asked again. “You just minus 3 from 24 and divide it by 7!” she replied impatiently. “But why?” I questioned innocently. “Because that is the way it is!” she almost yelled at me. I went to bed that night with tears and despair, and I suddenly understood that even my closest relative would not be able to help me with my problems. The reality was too harsh! A 15 years old boy with no friend, no family, but a mother occupied with her work. He had no idea why he went to school. He could not find his meaning in life. He was the walking shell of a zombie, speaking less than 15 sentences a day, and went to school because he wanted to be responsible. In a clueless state about my prospect, I decided to practice for the SAT because that was the only way to grasp part of my future. I allotted all of my free time and energy to that test for almost half a year. Every day, whenever I found a chance, I would open up SAT prep books and do as many questions until the time was over. I came to ignore my lack of friends or the lure of reading the fictional novel and things that wasted my time. My day consisted of eating, studying, and sleeping. Whatever the real answer was, I was transformed. Through the constant improvement of the SAT scores, I acknowledge that living in the mirage of novels and video games would not make my life any better. As a result, I should emphasize learning and living blissfully because those were the only consequential things in my life. Why should I spend more time complaining about the limited social activity when I could complete things that would ameliorate my life or knowledge? Ultimately, I was still the guy alone by himself at school, but this time, he would not have any embarrassment on his mind because of loneliness. His body was awoken and given a new life. His mind was fresh and clear, arms strong and energetic, and legs ready to walk as far as he could with no limit. Throughout my five years in the US, my relative constantly talked to me from the online meeting. “Do you make any friends?” was always asked by them. I replied with a silent no every time. However, now I can tell them that I know what I am doing, and I am defining my life.

“So here’s all of the homework you guys have for today, have a good weekend,” my 7th-grade science teacher announced when the bell was ringing. “Wait, Mr. Martinez, can you explain to me what “Define the following terms” means?” I asked my teacher. “You simply search the meaning of each word and write it down,” Mr. Martinez told me. “I am so sorry, but I don’t understand. Mr. Martinez, could you call my mother and tell her what I should do for the homework? She speaks English,” I humbly requested Mr. Martinez. As a result, we spent 5 minutes using a phone call to explain to my mother about my homework and utilized Google Translate to translate “Definition” into Mandarin, which was my first language. Life hadn’t been easy since I landed in America. The cultural and language barrier hindered my social ability. It was extremely difficult for me to not only talk with classmates in English but also choosing an interesting topic that they cared about. After several months, I simply gave up every hope in my social life since I didn’t know what to talk with others besides grades and schoolwork. Students here played different games as I did, and they loved using social media, which I did not like. Moreover, different ethnic groups stayed in their circle in my school. Hispanic talked with Hispanic immigrants, white talked to native Miamian, and black hanged out with black. Unfortunately, there was no “Asian” circle, since there were less than five of us in school. As a result, I began to have depression and believe that I was a life loser who didn’t have the social skills most people possessed. The perpetuating depression constrained me to live inside my apartment all day long, playing video games and watching comic books. I completely gave up my life because it was impossible for me to adopt this new normality in the exotic land. Everything was transformed after I practiced the SAT. Every day, I spent all my free time to enhance my math and reading skills required by the test. My life was left with cooking for meals, sleeping, exercising, and studying. I began to realize that a lack of social activity was not a big problem. Instead of hanging out with friends in a movie theater, I preferred to do all the housework and improve my knowledge in fields that interested me. I was convinced by my improving test performance when the result was sent back to me. SAT taught me that it was more consequential to focus on my personal development than complaining about my poor social life. As a result, I now dedicate my time to studying, exercising, sleeping, and cooking because they were the only activities I need. I am gaining more knowledge and living happier ever since, and I no longer look down on myself just because of my inferior networking pool. I believe in the vast options of life and strive to embark on my unique path. To alleviate the stress of adopting into a new environment, I help the son of my mother’s colleague that have recently moved here. I inform him of the importance of tracking test dates and explain to him how the class schedule of the American high school worked. With my help, he was getting on track with his graduation requirement and understanding any English forms that he may have to fill. I believe my support has prevented him from going on the same track that I went before taking the SAT. To me, it is a pleasure to help other people that need my help in consulting school issues. I have experienced the depression of having no outside support in a new environment, and I will not let it happen again.

When I came to America and enrolled in 7th grade, I lost my ability to communicate and befriend classmates. I preferred to speak mandarin, but all of them spoke English or Spanish. I preferred not to use social media, but they read Instagram and Snapchats every time. I preferred to play the Asian app game, but they only had Clash Royale on their phone. It was extremely difficult for me to not only talk with classmates in English but also choosing an interesting topic that they cared about. After several months, I simply gave up every hope in my social life since I didn’t know what to talk with others besides grades and schoolwork. As a result, I began to have depression and believing that I was a life loser who didn’t have the social skills most people possessed. I gave up my life by incessantly playing video games and watching a movie. They were an asylum for my coward mind. I only wanted to immerse myself in a digital world that hosted exciting adventures and happy ending even though the story of the movie was irrelevant to my life. I wished I was living in Taiwan and surrounded by my old friends that cared about my existence. The reality was that whenever my cousins asked me about my friend in the US, I was only able to tell them “I haven’t got a friend yet”. I was even more reluctant to admit that I did not speak more than five sentences a day. I thought I was destined to live this depressing life that was against the value of society. People like my mother wished I had more friends and wanted me to invite a friend to our house or visit a classmate’s house so I would not look like a weirdo in school. “I will teach an urban kid how to fish,” Hong said to me seriously. Hong was a friend of my mother’s boss. He had dark skin, short hair, and a big welcoming smile that always reminded me that he was from Taiwan as well. After we met him on a boat tour, he constantly invited me and my mother to fish or dine with his family. He was such a generous person who cooked delicious steak and fish without asking us to pay him anything. All he cared about was the joy of his family and friends when dining together. Hong was also an all-rounded man. Although he was a house husband, he cooked authentic Taiwanese food and roasted steak for his family. Hong knew how to repair cars and homes, and baked his coffee beans for his handmade coffee. He owned a garden that grew plants ranging from dragon fruits to scallion. He had immense scientific knowledge about animals and plants, and he would explain them to me when we went fishing together. Because of his inspiration, I began to make Chinese bread and cultivate a garden with green onions. I started to find different hobbies in life that enhanced my personal development instead of playing movies and video games. My exposure to life science by Hong eventually pushed me to pursue a major in plant science. After meeting Hong, I began to understand that I did not need to have many friends. Friendship was part of the life experiences, but it’s not the only thing that mattered in life. If I couldn’t make many friends, that’s ok! I should be focusing on other hobbies that truly inspired me to live enthusiastically. Ultimately, I accepted being a maverick in school with a hobby in cooking and planting. I believed that we should go and explore things that interested us and improved our life quality; there was not a set of activities that we must accomplish in our life. Hong didn’t want me to pay him any money for all his inspiration and dinners. As always, he wanted us to all be cheerful and optimistic. Therefore, I brought my rolling pin and wheat flour and invited him to make noodles together, just as what he wished for.

I knew my five years old self would be scared when he heard this, but I wanted to be a farmer and major in agricultural science. Throughout my early age, I lived in an urban area and cared about playing video games than interacting with mother nature. After I moved to the US, my life was altered by language and cultural barriers. I no longer had friends to accompany me in the online world, and I was extremely reluctant to go outside because I had no interest in interacting in this exotic city. My apartment resembled Taiwan more than this foreign world. Although I played lots of video games in the first few years, I grew tired of it eventually. Since I still stayed in the house most of the time, I had to find something to do. I began to cook and bake for the family and manage a small garden on my balcony. Infatuation immediately developed between me and these exercises. I felt that kneading and shaping the dough was an expression of my individualism. When I was caring for the dough, nothing else in the world was important to me. I could spend an entire day waiting for it to rise then be steamed and ready for serving. It was amazing that water, yeast, and flour could be assembled into a dough that could be expressed in multiple ways (be baked, be steamed, or be boiled) under my free will. I also loved gardening. Imagine that you only need to place a green onion’s head into the soil, then it would regrow itself. Planting different crops allowed me to harvest the freshest plants and incorporate them into a healthy meal. It was unbelievable that I could be self-sufficient with foods and satiate my hunger if I knew how to farm, and that’s how the greatness of mother earth intrigued me to explore it deeper. However, whenever my classmate asked me what I did at the weekend, I would answer him with “making bread” or “planting”. He would quickly ask me why I didn’t spend the time studying and tell me that he watched Netflix the entire Sunday. That was not how I want to live my life, as I desired to learn the mechanism of a plant’s growth instead of fitting in social media and discussing the useless movie with people. That’s how I decided to apply with a plant science major since I didn’t want my curiosity to be subjugated by what people thought I should do. My decision did not arrive simply because I love plants and thought they were cool, but due to my willingness to work in a muddy field and accept failure. I was never a good gardener, to be honest. I had plants dying in front of me numerous times and had encountered many poor harvests. However, these adverse experiences never stopped my exploration. They only served to spur my hunger for a solution, and the bad harvest also reminded me of the difficulty for farmers to produce enough affordable food to feed the world. Although I was a weirdo, I believe I had the power to change the world. As I advanced my knowledge of plants, I expected myself to learn how to enhance the production of crops while sustainably maintain the environment for the future generation. Indeed, this rare hobby took away my opportunity to talk with friends about the latest movie, but it could potentially feed the people that hadn’t even eaten their dinner yet, and that was ultimately what I cared about.

Imagine a boy who spoke no words in school except “thank you” or “hello”. Imagine him silently sitting at the school lunch table and be the only person eating his meal alone. Imagine he stayed at home during the entire summer and assuaged his loneliness by indulging in incessant video games. Unfortunately, I became that poor twelve years old boy after coming to the US. Before my arrival, I had never asked what’s the meaning of “friend”. Making new friends was a natural skill that I possessed when I was in Taiwan. I would probably say that every one of my classmates was my best friend because we saw each other every day. The definition of friendship was vague when I moved here. I saw my classmates throughout the year, but I could not proclaim that I had friends because of the limited reaction with them. I thought it was the language and cultural barriers that hindered our communications. When they were talking about Fortnite, I was still playing Asian video games; the topics just didn’t match. Moreover, I did not use social media such as Instagram and Facebook, so I had avoided a big opportunity to talk with my classmates, as they all stare at the screen every time. As a result, the only thing I did to help myself was playing more video games and watching more fictional novels. They created an illusional world for me to live; the protagonist of the story would always defeat the enemy and return home with his loved one, and I was the guy trying to project myself to the happy story. Whenever the story ended, I fell into depression and hated my lonely life. The trend continued until I practiced the SAT in my Junior year of high school. During the time, I dedicated most of my free time to practice this exam, and the rest went to cooking, sleeping, and eating. After I got the result back, I was amazed by the improvements I made. I suddenly felt the joy of enhancing my knowledge when I saw the report. I realized that life did not need to be very complicated, with many hobbies and friends. One could attain happiness simply by learning something new and improving his skill. To me, eating, sleeping, and studying were enough to make me appreciate the blissfulness of living in this world. Therefore, I no longer looked down on myself and thought that I was a helpless and lonely man destined to live an isolated life. I now believed that life could be vibrant and diverse. I did not need to have many friends to find meaning out in my life because I could accept my unique identity while I was preparing my dinner table.

“I was early taught to work as well as play, My life has been one long, happy holiday; Full of work and full of play”- John D. Rockefeller. I didn’t have a mournful story to tell. The Coronavirus Pandemic did not affect my family’s financial status because my diplomat mother got her fixed salary from the Taiwanese government. However, it did tremendously alter my lifestyle in an unprecedented way. To prepare me for the next school year, I grasped the opportunity of Covid break and sought to utilize every bit of my time. Every day, I woke up at 5:30 am to make breakfast, then I previewed the Calculus course at Khan Academy until noon. After I cooked and finished my lunch, I started to read humanity books such as National Geographic. At around 3 or 4 pm, I went out and exercise for about an hour. For dinner, I also cooked for my family and went to bed at 9 pm. The subtle balance between my housework and study time made this routine workable. When I was tired of doing math, it was time to exercise and enjoy the fresh air. When I was bored with the housework, I could embark on another calculus journey that challenged me to find the “limit”. I was happily living every day because I was allowed to broaden my horizon with the geographic book and improve my math skills to a higher level. I knew I was defining my life moment when pursuing my hobby of exercising, cooking, and reading. After months of incessant lockdown and routine life, I began to feel that sleeping, learning, eating, and working was the most primitive yet consequential things in our life. When I woke up, I worry about what to eat for breakfast. When I finished breakfast, I wondered what my lunch would be. When I ate my lunch, I began to think about my dinner. Would it be rice or pasta? I realized I could spend a day just by cooking, sleeping, and working. I did not need and had time to play video games or watch a movie. Everything was kept simple and basic, but I was still enjoying my day. Therefore, I commenced falling in love with a life routine that focused on these activities instead of watching TV that wasted my time. Personal growth by studying and happiness from everyday life should dominate our time because I knew that my life quality was enhancing. I had become a fitter and more knowledgeable person. I thought that was the biggest takeaway from this pandemic. We should sometimes stay at home with our family and think about reading books or doing things that expand our knowledge. We also should exercise and enjoy our sleeping and eating time, which was what life was all about.

As a high school student during the Covid-19 pandemic, access to teacher and educational resources were all done remotely. This phenomenon hindered the student’s interest to engage in learning and exploring. We preferred to see, hear, and touch things with our bodies when we were studying. However, as a 12th grader aspiring to major in agricultural science, I was deeply intrigued by plants during the lock down. As a result, I am currently doing an individual experiment that seeks to solve my question. I want to know whether urine water, tap water, chemical fertilizer, and bird manure compost will be the most effective plant food. I record the initial height of plants and see how tall they grow after using the different fertilizers. I am also concern with using the concept of calculus to find their instantaneous growth rates and see if there is any pattern between each of them after fertilization. I will measure the pH level at the end of this experiment (3 weeks) and repeat it another time. Will the plant instantaneously grow the fastest after 1 day of fertilization or 2? Will the plants be happier to eat my urine or bird manure? These questions are not answerable by my teacher or the internet because the only thing they can do is to give me a simple yes and no. However, doing the experiment with my own hand allow me to quantitatively measure the plant as objectively as possible. I will be the guy that experience hardship and failure in the experiment but work hard to find a solution or explanation for the problems. I think that is the purpose of this simple research. I should answer any question with my curiosity and explore the solution by statistical numbers. I often rely on the simple answer a lot and forget the joy of seeking knowledge by myself. I envision myself to embrace the opportunity that this scholarship grants me and use it for studying plant science. I want to do more research on plants and crops in university that help me to maximize crop production while developing sustainably. Crops are essential to human life, and I always believe that my mission for researching and experimenting should culminate in a healthy environment while feeding more people.

“I and my family treat both of you as part of our big family,” Hong said to me and my mother. “So don’t be shy whenever you need something. Just ask us as if we are your relative!” he warmly told us. I could not believe these words came out of a person that I constantly avoid, and I was startled by his generous personality and his genuine voice. I replied Hong with a smile only, but in fact, my heart was weeping unstoppably. I felt that my brain was beaten by the sweet welcoming tone that rejected my previous thought about the world. I and my mother first met Hong on a private boat tour run by a friend of my mother’s boss. Hong had dark skin, short hair, and a height of five foot seven. He was another friend of my mother’s boss, so he was invited to attend the tour that brought us to the affluent Miami Canal. During the trip, I was amazed by the fishing rod that the boat owner was using, as I had never fished before. My eyes jealously stared at the rod as if I became an immovable stone. “You have never fished before?” Hong’s voice suddenly brought me back from my avarice. “No,” I replied sadly. “Next time, I could bring you two to the seashore and experience fishing,” he said to us and asked for our contact information. Well, I thought he would forget the promise immediately because we were not familiar people, and he may have asked me just for courtesy. However, he proved that I was wrong by inviting us to fish in Miami beach and eat the fish we got as dinner at his house. After that day, he routinely asked us to dine at his house with his family every one or two weeks. Each time we went there, he prepared delicious Taiwanese dishes and glasses of wine. He never charged us with any fee, but always gave us a wonderful meal and fruits. It seemed to me that he preferred to give to people rather than take, and he loved being with family and friends. We joined with many of his other friends and cheered until late at night. His house had magic power that healed any depression I had, as I never got home without joy and happiness. Despite the joyful aura at his dinner table, I often went to his house reluctantly because they ate until Eleven O’clock. I would have less time to watch YouTube videos that I cared more about. As a result, I often declined his invitation after we became more familiar. I thought I was correct as I should stay at my house and enjoy my video leisure time after doing the homework. “Individualistic” was the best word to describe my personality of the time. After the separation of my parents, I was no longer attached to the bond of family. Moreover, after coming to the US, I lived with my mother only; I stayed in my apartment every day because of the language barrier. These adverse situations constrained me to live with myself, with no friends, no relatives, and social media. I never had a strong connection with other people like Hong did. The worst thing about me was my stinginess. Since I was little, I was a “capitalist” that guarded my private property. I often took as many advantages if it’s beneficial to me, and sharing my assets with others was impossible. For example, I rejected my cousins from playing with my toys when I was a child; once I became a teenager, I would buy the cheapest gift for friends. I couldn’t be more regretful when I heard Hong said, “I and my family treat both of you as part of our big family”. For years, I took advantage of dining at his house and ate steaks, fishes, and pork. He never asked me to pay him back because he regarded me as his family member. He did not value the material worth of things, but he cared about uniting people together with blissfulness. This familial bond subjugated my individualism and selfishness. I begin to understand that the power of benevolence and family is actually what makes me happy when I walked out of his house. Therefore, I am learning how to share with people that I care about, and I think that’s the easiest route to achieve mutual happiness.

Picking up trash on the street or around my apartment was the boldest thing I had ever done. Even though it only required me to pick and put the plastic bottle into a trash camp, trash picking embarrassed me sometimes because I acted abnormally. I always told my mother that we had to overcome the embarrassment and do what's best for the environment pragmatically. Even if it was not us that left the trash on the street, it was the duty of each of us in the community to ameliorate Mother Earth.

As I traveled with my diplomat mother who was dispatched to Miami, learning English became the most infamous enemy for me. Before I attended middle school here, my English record in Taiwanese elementary school was horrible. I only understood the simple words such as “car”, “teacher”, and “hamburger”. Despite living in an English environment, I was still reluctant to learn this language. I preferred to search for the mandarin version of Wikipedia, watch Hollywood with mandarin subtitles, and read books in mandarin. I remember I used to think that the last name of all three of my PE teachers was called “coach”. Later, my confusion was clarified when I discovered that “coach” was not a surname but a name for a sports teacher. Fortunately, my ESOL (English as a Second or Foreign Language) teachers in middle school were patient enough to help my pitiful English skills. Since I was in the lowest ESOL level when I came as a 7th grader, all my classmates spoke Spanish to others. Despite instructing us in Spanish, my teachers - Mr. Burrido and Ms. Fernandez – always repeated the same instruction in simple English slowly and understandably. Throughout middle school, the two English teachers always helped me whenever I was bewildered by any bell schedule or class changes. I also learned lots of grammar rules, vocabulary, and read many English texts during their lecture time. My English quickly improved, and I commenced to receive information in English and Mandarin instead of overly relying on one language. I became more confident when I talk to other people because I have immersed myself in more English nouns and verbs. In my opinion, mastering my English skill was an essential part of education no matter I loved or hated it. I could refute reading classical text in English literature, but how could I ignore English while I was shopping for foods without knowing what’s the ingredients. Learning basic language skills was a way to protect my rights and a means to be informed with reliable information. I appreciate all my ESOL teachers for their sacrifice and admirable work. It’s because of their diligence that I can search on the internet in both Mandarin and English. Knowing both languages allows me to read news from a different perspective and be informed of things that are not covered by the other language. English provides me the framework to not only read the literature but also books of life science and history. The immense power of language art grants me access to the sea of limitless knowledge and information that will otherwise be ignored by me.

One happy day of my elementary school had ended. I walked to my grandma’s house to enjoy the dinner she cooked while turning on the television to watch my favorite cartoon. After my father finished his work, he came to my grandma’s house for dinner, and the same as my mother later. The afternoon cartoon was so recreational and intriguing, but a sudden cry disturbed the cheerful aura. Although it was my mother’s voice, I disregarded the sound because my mom cried a lot when she saw sad TV news. I wished it was as simple as I thought, but the reality was that my father was also yelling at her. My grandma and I were completely scared, so we opened the dining door from the living room and asked what had happened. I saw the cheek of my mother reddening and embedded with tears. “She wants to divorce me!” my father angrily but helplessly shouted at us while finger-pointing on my mother. That’s how my parents divorced. I was surprised by this sudden change in my life, but later I found that my mother had been thinking over divorcing as early as six years ago. Since my mother was a Taiwanese diplomat, she had to work at the Taiwanese consulate in foreign countries for six years after a three-year interval of staying in Taiwan. Therefore, she decisively divorced my father and brought me to Miami when she had the chance to be dispatched there. My mother changed a lot after we came to the US. She became more impatient and impulsive because of the heavier workload she received, along with a hungry child waiting at home for her to feed. As a result of her busy work, I began learning how to cook simple fried rice and instant noodles; I was slowly engaging in housework previously done by the adults. One night, I asked her to help me with linear equations, which I had never learned. “Mom, what does 7x + 3 = 24 mean?” I questioned. “It was just x = 3,” she answered. “But what do you have to do to get 3?” I asked again. “You just minus 3 from 24 and divide it by 7!” she replied impatiently. “But why?” I questioned innocently. “Because that is the way it is!” she almost yelled at me. I went to bed that night with tears and despair, and I missed the old family. If my father was here, he would do all the housework and relieve my mother’s stress. If my father was here, he would teach me how to answer the math question. If my father was here, our family would be warm and complete instead of having an absentee mother always fighting in her career and a lonely child indulged in video games. There was just too many “would of” circulating in my little brain, as I never forgave my mother's decision to divorce with a simple explanation of “our personalities do not match”. After I became a high schooler, I was facing more pressure from both schoolwork and housework. I had to take difficult classes even though my English sucked, and I had to walk 2 miles back every day then cook for the family. Sometimes I even had to handle the housework entirely because my mother was on a business trip. I would wake up at 5 am and prepare my breakfast and lunch, then walk to school. I would have to wash my shirts and make my dinner after coming back from school. To be honest, these tasks were not hard, but the harshest reality was that I was a foreigner living in an exotic country. I had insurmountable language barriers and no social activity. The endless cycle of house working made me more unwilling to make friends because of the limited time. I was in a depressing mood during my two years of high school and middle school, and no one was there to support me in this foreign land. The only thing I did was blaming myself for being born to this busy mother who chose to live alone and threw all the housework responsibility to her children. I hated America, my mother, and my life. Without knowing my life direction, I decided to practice the SAT. Surprisingly, the process was transformative to my mind. I did not get a high score at the end of the day, but my math and reading skills certainly improved. I came to believe that many things in life were improvable if I put in the effort. I accepted that if I want to ameliorate my condition, I should struggle and fight for myself instead of waiting for others to fight on my behalf. I should not lie on top of my bad and tell myself the game is over. I also realized that no mother wanted her child to live under stress and loneliness. My mother was trying her best to come home early and preventing herself from yelling at me because of a bad day at the office. I acknowledged that no one should be blamed for this adverse situation. The only thing we could do to achieve our ideal state and happiness was to help each other out and communicate. Now, I agree with her choice of bringing me to America. I view the intense housework and social isolation as training for myself. Not only do I learn to be responsible for my life from an early age, but I also become mentally stronger. Practicing the SAT taught me that pain was needed in my life to spur my personal growth, and I think I should accept this challenge.

Rain droplets landed on my forearm’s goosebumps and blurred the silent dock with heavy fogs. It was a drizzling and murky day at the coast of downtown Miami. I anxiously followed the step of my mother and her boss to walk to the meeting point. I was nervous and excited because my mother’s boss was invited by his African American friend to have a private boat tour in the Miami canal area. I had never taken a boat before, so I was thrilled to embark on this adventure. However, there were two more friends of my mother’s boss invited, and that scared me a little by forcing me to interact with unfamiliar people. My consternation was caused by the constant feeling of self-abasement due to my short height. My 10th-grade self couldn’t stand still and be self-confident enough because my height was below average in school and almost anywhere. As we walked to the meeting point, two figures, one tall and one short emerged from the impenetrable fog. They both smiled and waved at us as we reached them. We quickly introduced ourselves while waiting for the African American friend, who was checking his boat for the journey. The tall man was called Julio. He was talkative and funny. His face was pale and young with a pair of glasses, and he was more than 6 feet tall. The short man wore a green jacket and was called Hong. He had darker skins and a similar height as me, which was about five foot seven. He was more reserved compared to Julio. But for some reason, his eyes were permeated with friendliness, his face gave me a welcoming aura, and his height, despite being short, granted me a sense of attachment to him because we shared the same trait. During the boat tour, we visited big suburban mansions and urban skyscrapers along the coastal area. Surprisingly, the African American friend pulled out a fishing rod with a fake bait and tried to catch a fish. I gazed at the rods with amazement while he was fishing. When Hong saw my admiring face, he asked me in mandarin: “You have never fished before?” “No,” I replied disappointingly. He then asked my mother for her contact information and promised to bring us to the seashore the other day and experience fishing. “I will let an urban kid understand what a pleasure fishing brings,” he said. He did not lie to me. After one week, he brought his wife and children along with us to the shore and fished for several hours. We ate the fish that we got from fishing at his house for our dinner. The story didn’t end after his first fishing invitation. He invited us about one time every two weeks to go to his house and have dinner with his family and more friends of him. Of course, the adults came there to enjoy alcoholic beverages, but teenagers like me were also fond of his excellent culinary skills. To be honest, I was reluctant to go to his house many times because they often eat until late at night and I have homework to do. However, I could not remember a single time that I walk out of his house without joy, aspirations, and confidence. Although Hong and I may argue sometimes, he and his family always created an irresistible bond that conjugated my egos and glued us together. In my opinion, Hong was near a renaissance man. He knew how to cook, repair houses and cars, and participate in outdoor activities such as golfing, fishing, and gardening. He was also an expert in chemistry and often scientifically explained to us the natural phenomena we observed. My fear of short height surreptitiously dissipated from my mind after I encountered this admirable man. Behind his superficial physical feature, I saw his core appearance from different angles and layers. He didn’t have to be tall to garden the plant he cooked with his friend and family. He didn’t have to be tall to homemade delicious Asian street foods and share them with us. He didn’t have to be tall to invite all his friends to his house and heal their pressure from overworking every day. My mind was impressed by the opportunities of life that he demonstrated. Being short was not the end of the world, as life had so many different things to observe and enjoy. His action slowly reshaped my life. I began to spend more time enjoying outdoor activities instead of playing games or watching videos. His inspiration gave me the courage to start my garden on my balcony. I tried to plant scallions and basil that he gave me, and they were extremely rewarding when I cook them. Now, I am no longer ashamed of my height. The outdoor experiences and knowledge from life science that Hong brings have enlightened my mind and challenge me to major in plant science. I have always appreciated his knowledge of different plants and animals. I envision a day, that I could stand alongside a child and teach him all the knowledge I have with planting and cooking like how Hong endows me.

I lost my family, friends, and enthusiasm for life the moment I landed in America. It all started when my diplomat mother was dispatched from Taiwan to Miami, as I came with her to attend middle school. I began to find out that I was struggling in an unprecedented way. I had never imagined that one day, I would live in a city with no familiar face and language; one day, I would speak less than 5 sentences a day; one day, I would silently eat my lunch along when I was surrounded by chatting students. These experiences shocked me. I used to have lots of friends and relatives that supported me during the saddest hour. I now felt that the language and cultural barrier formed an insulating wall that separated me from anyone else. My days were occupied by video games as a result. Besides going to school, my only life objective was to play games as hard as I could. “Forget all the pains and sadness!”, I told myself. I wanted video games and movies to create illusional utopias for myself, that I could picture a happy life and future in this façade. I often had depression whenever I finished a video game since I needed to face the harsh reality. Therefore, I avoided depression by playing more. Luckily, I began to question my decision after I found a new hobby – cooking. I realized we humans all had to eat every day. If it was our unavoidable survival need, why should I immersed myself in an illusional world when I was not fulfilling my actual need in real life. I slowly abandoned video games ultimately and focusing more on cooking for my meals and living happily without the help of a computer or smartphone. I was still the lonely one in school, but at least I knew what made me enthusiastic. I encouraged anyone who was struggling with depression to seek and find themselves. They didn’t have to live with the expectation of society, instead, they had to understand themselves and see what activity was meaningful.