Hello and thank you for reading about my best friend's story, my coping, and what I learned! My best friend of more than 10 years, Chantel, suffered from mood swings and related diagnoses stemming from sexual trauma she experienced while serving our country. We met in one of our undergraduate courses. We immediately connected and spoke to one another daily since this course. Chantel was a very smart woman and loved to party, dress up, go on dates, and shop for nice things. There were also times when she was a "homebody" and tired, which led to her spending a lot of time in bed. We would talk during those days, however, she would keep our conversations short. She was also a mother of a teenage son who loved filming and gaming. She had great relationships with her family and had a great amount of friends. Over time, I learned that my friend struggled with Bipolar d/o. She was very outgoing and open about her experiences. She would often tell me stories about her service within and outside the country. She was a very strong woman and I admired her for her continued humor and ability to smile. On the last evening of September 19, 2019, I received a call from my best friend's mother. She was returning my missed phone call from earlier that afternoon. She informed me that her daughter / my best friend is no longer with us and she died from an overdose. This was a surprise because I had just spoken to my friend that morning. She laughed while telling me about the sugarcane festival parade she just participated in the previous evening. For a while, I felt confused, numb, and didn't feel anything. Chantel had the support, resources, and knowledge, so I was confused as to what led to her making her final decision to no longer want to live. I felt guilty because we would talk about mental health almost daily and I failed to ask my friend if her symptoms were affecting her. I know I was depressed at that time because I did not attend nor participate in my commencement to receive my Master of Science in Professional Counseling degree, which was held in November of 2019. A few months later, the infamous Covid-19 virus appeared in the United States. Because of the pandemic, I believe I was able to "hide" my mourning and grief work since I was home all the time and, therefore did not socialize outside my home. Since going through the phases of mourning and the pandemic ending, I now celebrate my friend's life by visiting her favorite place with her mother and her son with balloons and laughter just as she would have it. I also keep in touch with her mother every day through fellowship and prayer. Although I work with some individuals on coping with grief and loss, I have learned that grief and loss do not look and feel the same from one person to another. Having this understanding has strengthened my support and mindfulness within my work as a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Professional. There is no right or wrong way to feel about grief, as there will be stages and changes. Another important lesson I learned is that joy can most definitely happen amid grief. Thanks so much for reading! In my current research as a doctoral student, I utilize these experiences to bring awareness, support, and additions to counseling techniques. Sincerely, Tanya Porter MS, LPC, NCC (Doctoral Student)