When I was younger, I didn't feel like I was very different from other people. The majority of students at my school were white, but I never felt out of place among them. That was until one day when I was in second grade. My class was learning about animals and their biology. A topic that came up within this subject was 'feces,' or animal poop. I can't recall why we were learning about it, but I have never forgotten the feeling when the other students turned and pointed to my big, poofy hair. My white mom had never had a problem with what my hair looked like. At the very least, she never told me about it and helped me get ready every day before school. She put my locks into two buns. Buns that she thought were cute. Buns which I would later be told looked like feces. Because of the bullying, which continued day after day, my mom contacted my teacher and I was made to sit at the front of the class. Despite getting away from that negative energy, I don't think I've felt normal around my peers since. There has always been this constant feeling that I am somehow not good enough to interact with my classmates. This occurred before I knew I was Black. I began feeling different without knowing why because as a kid, I didn't understand that these comments were said from a place of racism. I didn't know what races were at the time. I didn't know that skin color, hair texture, or anything else, could cause someone to treat another person that way. It took me a very long time after this for me to start loving my hair. I kept it cut for a long time with a small thought in the back of my head that I would be bullied for the way it looked. I am still worried about this even now. I am growing out my hair after keeping it above-shoulder length. I have still been messed with about it, having had an afro for a while, but it doesn't bother me nearly as much now. And I hope that, if someone else is going through the same situation, that they are strong enough to handle it better than I did. I hope they love their hair enough not to care about it. I hope they recognize the beauty in their differences and that they love every part of themself.

One of the most important days of my life happened when I was 17 years old. I joined an online writing community at 16 to interact with like-minded individuals and get advice on how to properly construct a story. I was in the process of writing what I hoped would be my first published novel—it was a personal project I'd been working on for years, which had gone through many changes before then—and I felt I needed help. In this community, I started to become a different version of myself. Despite joining as an author, I existed there as a friend. Throughout my whole life, a consistent issue has been my difficulty in socializing. Yet, I found myself doing so through text. I connected with other people, my age and older, who could guide me in our common career path. I was given advice on how to use magic in the world I was building. I was taught how to create characters, use symbolism in my stories, and describe life-like settings. The social aspect of it all was what I stayed for. When facing writer's block, my online friends would encourage me to take a break or become motivated by immersing myself in different media. They would still converse with me when we weren't talking about or participating in writing. Though my relationships with the majority of members progressed slowly over time, there was one person who I had an instant connection with. Her name was Fay. She quickly became my best friend and we would talk whenever we could. We'd call and send text messages, discussing our stories and characters with each other. At some point, she even gave me a digital copy of the novel she'd written. We made plans to see each other over the summer. We made plans to create a webcomic together as well. And when things with Fay went to the wayside, I fell back on someone who I didn't expect to. One of my other friends, Kino, was there to comfort me. We hadn't talked much but after losing my best friend, she became like an older sister to me. She was always there to give advice to me, but it was never about writing even though she was also in that community. She was interested in me as a person. It was the first time in a long time that I was able to feel so at ease with another person, more so than I did with Fay. She talks to me like I'm her sister and she is mine and I love her deeply. Kino has been there for me, even if our relationship didn't start out with an instant spark. She has told me about her struggles with her family, as well as with the education system where she grew up. Despite financial hardship, she is still doing to best she can, to this day. That is why I hope that I can be like her someday. I'd like to be an achiever, much like she is. I want to make it through college in spite of my own family's struggles. I want to graduate as the first in my family and make my mother proud. Throughout everything, I have been so lucky to have the support system I have had. Financial struggles are not going to stop me from pursuing my dreams and becoming someone that a person like me could look up to.